Before you all kill me for taking such a looooooooooooooo......ooooooooong time to update, please understand that Saengie's enlistment was harsh on me as nothing else and last thing I wanted to do was to write as if he was still here in microsoft word. So I refrained and gave myself time to ajdust into the moment but that surprisngly took like 7 months... I thought it'll take like 1 month lol.. anyhow I'm so sorry! Please don't hate me and I promise I'll try my best to continue this story!

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I let out a big sigh as appa leaves the room. Not in this lifetime I ever thought that I won’t have a choice on my own marriage; at least who I’m marrying. Things still feel like a dream, really who’d believe me if I go and tell them I’m arranged to marry Heo Young Saeng. It’s ridiculous and a hilarious joke. But… but it’s real; and that’s what scares me the most.

      I wish I was one of the people who’d get to laugh at this, not the person who’s going through this. I can’t back off now either. Even if I do, there will be actually two or three people who’d be hurt and that’s a small amount comparing to all the fans who’d be enormously happy. But those two, three people matter to me a lot, I can’t hurt them; especially not omma. I have to be the daughter she dreamt of, not the one who’ll hurt her the most.

      Sitting beside the dressing table I argue with myself whether I’m ready to meet him again or not. Well not like I have a choice anyway. I remove all my make-up and change myself into a comfortable pajama. I want to sleep right after talking with omma; yes I have to talk with her. I’m completely sure she’s waiting for me down there expecting me to come and actually take the initiative and make this right once again. She always does that, and we always go along with it.

      I find omma sitting on a stool inside the kitchen. I stare at her for a moment behind her back and then pace towards her. She turns her head to look at me over her shoulder but ignores my presence. I stop next to her and kneel down on the floor. She glances at me from the corner of her eyes and looks away. I sigh and decide to apologize.

      “Mianhe omma” I whisper.

      She doesn’t reply.

      I slightly squeeze her hand. “Ah mianhe… I don’t want to stay angry with you”

      “I’m not angry with you” She says.

      “Ara… you are just upset, but I-”

      She cuts me off. “Why are you so against this marriage? I don’t want to ruin your life; I just want to find you someone that you’ll be happy with before my eyes are closed forever”

      “Stop saying those things” I curl my eyebrows at her; I hate it when she mentions that.

      “It’s the truth; we all know that. I just want you to be happy. I have no intention to interfere with your personal life so much but I can’t help it. I’m worried. You are already twenty five”

      She cups my chin with her hand as she speaks. “I don’t want you to stay unmarried or single anymore. You’ve studied enough. You have a degree; you can do the masters while you are married. I just don’t you to be alone” Her tears start rolling down.

      “Don’t cry, please” I take her hand off my chin and tightly hold it.

      “I know you aren’t happy with this decision but please try. You might like him. You might start liking him more than just your idol. You will, trust me. Please try again” She says.

      I nod. Omma always pushes me into stuff; half of my life decisions were always taken by her. Not that they did any harm to my life but I never had a choice; and that feeling, it stings.

      “Thank you” She says and kisses my forehead.

      I don’t respond instead I just stay there, still and silent. She suddenly starts coughing. I quickly get up and hold her shoulders slightly patting her back. She gags while coughing and it makes me feel nervous. I run to grab some water. A glass almost slips from my hand as I panic. Omma ignores the water and keep on coughing. Her hand is covering not letting her vomit.

      “Appa!!” I shout across the hall.

      There’s no response from him; I can’t leave omma either. In a few seconds she stops coughing and takes off her hand.

      “Omma! Are you alright?” I ask brushing off the hair from her face.

      She nods, smiling.

      “Let me get some medicine for you” I try to leave.

      “No, it’s nothing”

      “No! You have to take some med”

      “Come here…” She grabs my wrist and pulls me closer.

      “But omma…”

      “Listen… I’m fine. It’s just the normal cough, you know that. Don’t panic. I’m alright. Now promise me you’ll see him. Look I’m not blackmailing you. All those fan-girls out there, they all want to marry Young Saeng and you, you have the chance! Don’t push it away. Everything happens for a reason. Him appearing in your life like this; there has to be a reason. There’s no harm in trying. I’m not waiting for him to snatch you away the moment he sees you. He might like you or he might not. That doesn’t matter but please don’t let me down this time”

      I purse my lips. I have never let her down; but she never noticed it anyway.

      She opens to say something again but I speak before her. “Okay I’ll see him”

      “Promise?”

      “Promise” I smile at her and she smiles back.

      I let out a big sigh before I leave the kitchen. I catch appa sleeping on the couch in the living room. I shake my head at the sight and drag my weary self up the stairs. As soon as I’m in the room I land on the bed and curl myself under the blanket.

      His voice repeats inside my mind over and over again.

      “Sae Ra?”

      I keep seeing him like some vision. His shocked face I noticed when I took those hurried glances at him. Then the emptiness strikes again. I make a ‘tsk’ sound and ignore it. My life feels like a mess; a whole damn mess. But I will make it right. I understand omma’s worries and inside somewhere a part of me is still excited to see him again. I let that part take control over me so that I can face this situation in a more comfortable feeling.

      I start to feel sleepy. I close my eyes and just wait for everything to leave me.

Someone taps on my shoulder. I wake up with a startle. Omma is holding my alarm clock in her hands next to me on the bed. Oh . I wake up like a bullet and grab it from her.

      “Oh my god! I’m late to hand those storyboards in!” I shout in shock and get out of the bed.

      As I sprint to my closet to find something to wear, I hear omma laughing at the back.

      “You love sleep, don’t you?” She asks.

      I immediately hold up both my hands. “Not now omma. I’m totally late”

      God, how come I didn’t even remember that I had to hand these in today? Yesterday has really ruined my mind I guess. I just want everything to get back to normal for a second so that I won’t lose my first ever job. This means a lot and I really, really need to start my career at some point. And this is my first hurdle that I have to pass. But this whole Young Saeng thing...

      His name makes my skin crawl. A weird thrill goes through my body and I pause preparing my bag for a second. I sigh unintentionally. I guess I really am very disappointed at how my life turned out to be. He should have just been an idol nothing more, nothing less.

      “Sae Ra, you are late” Omma says from behind.

      “Ah” Here I am in the reality again.

      And no, things are not normal.

      After a crazy several minutes of getting myself together, I’m out of the door. I don’t have time to take the bus or walk. Although I really don’t like driving to work, today I have to. I really like walking; only in the summer though.

      No, Sae Ra stop thinking about random things. Concentrate on your freaking hand-in. Go, now.

      “Omma, bye bye!” I shout on my way to the garage.

      “Be careful” She replies back.

      I notice how her voice broke. She’s not completely recovered is she? But then again, what can I do? She doesn’t go to the doctor much anymore. She’s practically letting herself go down the bad road without getting any help to come out of the dark. How am I supposed to help her?

      Oh well, maybe since she likes Young Saeng so much, she might listen to him if he asks her. Duh.

      Seriously, why are there so many traffic lights today which are bright red? Can’t they just turn green when I arrive. Ugh, I need to be at the production company by now. I’m so getting fired today.

      Oh it’s green! Drive Sae Ra, drive.

Phew, here I am after a several road stunts. I’m not really sure where I parked my car. Was it in the car park or.... in front of the building? As in the entrance to the building not to the land.

      Okay where is my car?

      “Sae Ra?” Someone calls from behind as I’m just about to turn back to search for the car.

      “Oh, director-nim” I say back with a huge sigh because I’m literally panting.

      “You are very... early” He says in a sarcastic tone.

      “Yes, yes. I know. I’m very sorry. Something came up at home and I-”

      “Save it, Sae Ra. Did you bring the storyboards?”

      There, my job is gone. That ‘save it’ is his iconic, alternative phrase for ‘get lost’.

      I quickly take them out of my bag. “Here. I’m so sorry! Please, this won’t happen ever again”

      “No that’s totally fine” His tone is calm and very... gentle?

      “Really?” I ask with a ten thousand hopes.

      “Yes, because you won’t be working here anymore”

      I won’t say that I didn’t see this one coming but... For a moment, I thought it won’t matter.

      “Oh... is that so?” I ask in a low volume.

      “Yes, exactly” His tone is firm on his decision.

      Anger starts building inside me. This is all because of that one damn idol who won’t agree to marry me, isn’t it? Why has this thing taken up all my energy?

      “Look, I’m really sorry” I say as the director turns to walk away.

      “Oh you are?” There it is again; that sarcastic tone.

      “Yes I am! I spent so much time working on those storyboards. You cannot just take them from me and kick me out of the job” My volume goes higher at the end.

      He clenches his teeth. “Who do you think you are talking to?”

      “I’m talking to a person who gets work done by others and pretend as if he got it done all by himself. I don’t care if you are one of the finest directors in this whole damn country, but you don’t get to take away all my work and then shut me off without even giving me a chance”

      I definitely regret this argument but since I already started it, now I can’t stop it.

      “Oh, so you want a chance now?” He asks very slyly.

      “Yes. I want a chance to prove to you that I’m a better assistant director than anybody can ever be”

      “It’s a little too late for that, isn’t it?” He says taking a step towards me.

      “It’s never too late. If you’d give me just one more chan-”

      My sentence stops midway as he lean closer and suddenly touches my arm.

      “What are you doing?” I ask glancing at his hand.

      “Well, if you desperately want a chance so then I thought we could, you know...” He said sliding his hand down to my elbow. “Then I can put you back on my team. And it’ll be like this morning never took place” His tone was disgusting and greedy.

      I knew what I had to do and I did it.

      I slapped him.

      And I don’t regret that.   

I found my car in front of the building right where I parked it. It was a relief finding it. I drove it to the park. So here I am in my car crying my eyes out because...

      Because someone thought I was so cheap that I would sleep with them to establish my career. What am I supposed to do? Is this what world looks like now? Does a girl have to sleep with someone to get a job? To get some place in society? Do I look like a to them? Am I a ?

      Oh great, my phone rings. That’s the last thing I want right now.