How did this even happen? I ask myself more than a countless times as reality itself seemes like a dream. I blink a several times and pinch myself to awake from this dream but no, this is the reality. The person I’ve been idolizing since I was 15 has become my ‘arrange marriage’! Is that even possible? Does things like that happen in this world? No, I’m not excited about it. I’m actually freaking out; not because he has been my bias ever since I saw him, but because it’s not possible. The love you give for an idol and the love you give for your life partner are completely two different things. I never imagined myself actually marrying him though I married him a countless times in dreams but that was just the fan-girl hidden inside me. Does this even make sense? Can this even happen? Is it even possible?

      I run to the kitchen to confirm this from omma once again. Maybe I heard the name wrong the first time, or maybe she did a mistake.

      “Omma…” I call her from behind.

      “Wae?” She asks.

      “That arrange marriage thing…”

      “Mmm?”

      “Are you sure it’s Heo. Young. Saeng?” I pause through each word of his name.

      A shiver runs down my spine as I speak; more like me expecting a different answer, a different name as the answer. It’s like I just don’t want this to happen.

      “You asked that more than a thousand times from me like five minutes ago, and the answer is still the same. Yes! It’s Heo Young Saeng!” She gently slaps my forehead.

      “Not possible” I whisper.

      “Why?” She asks.

      “How did this even happen? I mean I was just sitting in my room minding my own business. Here we have you, coming into my room and suddenly telling me that I’m going to marry a celebrity! Do you think it makes sense? How did this even happen? Why aren’t you telling me how this happened? Not like Young Saeng will suddenly pick me as his bride! What’s the meaning of this?” I ask a million questions from omma.

      She gives me a huge grin. Oh I don’t like that smile.

      “It was arranged by that friend of dad who came last week” She says.

      “That long lost high school friend?”

      “Yeah. He’s actually a really good friend of the Heo family”

      “And?”

      “He was telling us about how Heo family is searching for a bride for their son these days and then suddenly he saw your picture on the wall. He said he’s going to take that picture to them and ask them whether they like you or not. Turns out be they have really liked you” She pats my shoulder.

      “Who? Young Saeng liked me?” I gasp.

      “No silly, his parents. Young Saeng still haven’t given an answer”

      “Of course! Isn’t that obvious? Just imagine what happened. That ‘what’s his name friend’ of dad goes to their house and show me their picture. Parents say oh how nice she is and then suddenly Young Saeng sees it and just screams and run away!”I widen my eyes at her.

      “Oh stop with the jokes! He must have liked you for sure. Not everyone agrees to marriages this soon like you just did”    

      “Excuse me? When did I even say ‘yes’ to this whole messed up thing?”

      “Why? You’ve been always telling how you are going to marry him when you grow up and now you are grown up, here’s an opportunity to marry him”

      “Omma!” I scream my lungs out.

      Ah mewoya igae?

      “That fan-girling marriage and real marriage has a huge difference do you know that?” I shout at her.

      “But I thought you liked him”

      “Ye of course I like him but this is just, this is really unbelievable you know! I’ve always been saying that in whichever way I’m going to make him mine but when it’s really going to happen; that’s shocking okay? I mean of course I know him, his personality and everything but c’mon! He’s still a stranger! I don’t know him personally!” I almost cry.

      “But you have met him so many times haven’t you?”

      “Omma that’s at fansigns or concerts or at airports! I haven’t met him as a friend and talked with him until I come to the point to agree to marry him! And even what’s this marriage thing? Can’t I just become his girlfriend first? At least get to know him?”

      “Well you can start a relationship before marriage if you like. But I was thinking directly marrying you two”

      “Come to your senses!” I shout again.

      “Oh my god this girl! Why are you backing off this much? I thought he’s your bias”

      “Yes he is but this is different okay! Just imagine you liked a celebrity, note that word ‘celebrity’ for like maybe eleven years and then suddenly you are arranged to marry him! Do you even think that it’s possible? You think just because I idolized him, I can just throw myself at him?”

      “Well I don’t know but this is your dad’s and my final decision. You are marrying him” She says and walks away into the garden.

      I run after her.

      “That friend came by like a week ago, how did I not know about this back then?” I ask.

      “We didn’t tell you anything until a confirmation comes because who knows if they didn’t say yes then you might even get hurt” She gives me a sympathy smile.

      I narrow my eyes at her. Oh gosh this is just… I turn around and just walk to my room without saying anything. I don’t know why I’m backing off either; maybe it’s because of this difference. Saying you’ll marry him because of that fan-girl feeling and actually marrying has a huge difference. I’ve seen him, I’ve talked with him but something like this is out of bounds for me. I can’t do this! No I can’t. Though I know what kind of a person he is, I really don’t know how he is when it comes to relationships. Anyone can lie in front of a camera, even I can! Who knows, he might be a freaky when he become a boyfriend or worse; husband.

      “Ah jinja!” I shout and just throw my pillow at the wall turning towards it.

      The pillow hits his poster. My mouth drops open. Seriously? Nature has to coincidence everything right now? I walk up to his poster. I remember the past few years how I used to cling on to this poster and wish he was mine. And I always thought it’ll just be another fan-girl dream but no, it has become a reality and I’m not ready to accept it. Why? Am I being childish or am I being reasonable? Who should I ask? Who should I ask for advice? The only best friend I had just left the country. Our time zones are just not possible for communicating at all! I have no one to ask for an opinion.

      My conversation with my own self stops as our doorbell rings.

      “Sweetheart, get the door” Omma shouts from the kitchen.

      I sigh and go down to open the door.

      “Ah annyeonghaseyo” Dad’s friend says as soon as I open the door.

      I quickly bow. Awkwardness just explodes in me; probably because he was the one who completely ruined my life for the past few minutes. I hold my hand into the house asking him to come in. I don’t know what to say or what to do. It’s seriously, very awkward.

      “Appa… your friend is here” I run to appa’s room and say.

      “Who?” He asks.

      “That long lost high school friend who literally gave me the biggest shock in my life” I say in an annoyed tone.

      “Ah tell him I’ll come” He smiles at me.

      I run back to the living room.

      “Appa will be here soon. Please take a seat” I say smiling at him.

      As he sits down I stick my tongue at him from behind making an ugly face. I seriously hate him!

      “Ah wassayo?” Omma asks coming out from the kitchen.

      Her tone sounds like she already knew he’s coming. If only she had told me I would have prepared a whole speech to deliver at him telling him how nicely he has ruined my life.

      I stay for a couple of seconds listening to their conversation but as soon as dad comes in I run back to my room upstairs. I really have no interest in listening to their conversation which is probably going to be about me marrying a… celebrity.

      I throw myself onto the bed and sigh again. I slowly look at their posters but my eyes catch his LIFE poster. I don’t even want to have them on my wall anymore and god knows why! Until yesterday I was this crazy fan-girl who was ready to do anything for YS and today I’m opposing to… marrying him? Can a person ever believe this kind of stupidity; or maybe weirdness to be exact?

      I hide my face with a pillow and just continue to lie on the bed. I hear their voices downstairs but they are far away for me to catch any word they are saying. I suddenly get a bit curious of what they are talking about. I decide to walk up to the stairs so that words might be a bit clear.

      I keep the pillow away and start walking out of my room with my toes making no sound. As soon as I’m near my door omma barges onto me.

      I jump two steps back and gasps. I get scared to death with her sudden appearance. I didn’t even hear her coming upstairs.

      “You are going to meet him tomorrow!” She says holding my hands and jumping around like a little girl.

      “Mweo?” I gasp.