Jongin's departure sneaks up on both of them, coming to soon for the pair. The days that they spent together were full of laughter and more smiles than Sehun could keep track of. Luhan was pushed to the back of his mind, his best friend taking over. The goodbye at the airport is full of tears, mostly from Sehun, and whispered promises of being able to meet each other again. 
"I'll be back before you know it," whispered Jongin, head tucked into Sehun's shoulder.
Sehun sniffed, nodding. "You better. I don't like having to miss you." 
Jongin chuckled a little, tears filling up his eyes. "Don't worry. You won't have to for long." 
Sehun pulled away, offering Jongin a small smile. "Thanks for being here."
"What are best friends for?"
Jongin's plane announced last call, forcing him to leave Sehun behind. Jongin's heart broke at having to leave Sehun alone by himself again, knowing that the boy needed him now more than ever, but there was nothing he could do. His dance team needed him. He glanced back at Sehun, heart clenching at the sight. Sehun was crying full force, managing to put a cracked smile on his face and giving a little wave. Jongin waved back, turning away from Sehun before Jongin ran back to him, forgetting everything that he had to do back in America. 
Sehun's smile fell when Jongin walked away, out of sight and boarding a plane taking him miles away. He wiped his face, noticing the stares people were giving him. Not wanting the attention, Sehun quickly headed for the restroom to clean himself up. 
He the water in the sink, splashing some of it over his face. 
Jongin had just left. The realization hit Sehun full force and he felt the wind being knocked out of him. The first time Jongin left, he took a huge part of Sehun with him, leaving the boy incomplete. When he returned, he brought some of it back, but now that he left again, he left Sehun more empty than he had been before. Sehun needed his other half. He wasn't independent like Jongin was. He didn't think that he could ever do what Jongin was doing. Sehun couldn't leave Korea and go to another country where he didn't know anyone. He couldn't start over and leave everything behind. He couldn't leave the life that he's worked so hard to make perfect. Sehun admired Jongin. He truly did. Jongin had so much passion for dancing that he was willing to chase his dream where ever it led him. 
Sehun loved to dance. It was the only thing that he was remotely good at. But he wasn't Jongin. Sehun hadn't told Jongin (and he never would), but he tried out for the same dance team as his friend. He didn't get in. There was only one spot left and of course it went to Jongin. Sehun had to smile through the pain, listening to Jongin tell him how excited he was to be a part of an actual dance team, forgetting that Sehun would never have that chance. Sehun simply wasn't good enough for what anybody was looking for. 
He closed his eyes as he felt a brand new wave of tears forming. Sehun loved Jongin more than anything, but he always wondered why he stuck around. Why did he stay even after he found out what Sehun was like? There was always a nagging doubt in the back of his mind that one day Jongin will leave him and never come back. That he would leave Sehun stranded, alone, to fight his way through the world by himself.
He was scared that he would never see Jongin again once he got on that plane. Sehun wouldn't return if he was Jongin. 
"Hey, are you okay?"
Sehun jumped, startled to find that someone else was in the bathroom with him. He quickly wiped his eyes, lowering his head so that the stranger couldn't see his face. "Yea. Yea, I'm fine."
"You don't look fine," the man asked with a heavy accent.
Sehun sighed, wanting the person to leave him alone. "I'm fine, okay? I'm just upset because my friend left. That's all." 
The man looked at Sehun, sympathy in his eyes. "I understand. You don't have to be embarrased. You can be sad."
Sehun looked up to find a man who looked to be about Sehun's age, dark circled under his eyes. He was smiling softly, hair hanging in his eyes a little bit. "My name is Zitao." Zitao extends a hand, waiting for Sehun to take it.
"I'm Sehun," he says while taking Zitao's hand and shaking it.
Zitao's eyes widen a little bit. "Sehun? As in Oh Sehun?"
Sehun raises an eyebrow, letting go of Zitao's hand and stepping back. "Yes?"
"You're Luhan's roommate!" Zitao exclaims, a wide smile appearing on his face. "I'm one of Luhan's friends. We're from the same exchange program." 
"Oh, nice to meet you. Are you going to the arts program too?"
Zitao shakes his head. "I tried out but didn't get in."
"I'm sorry.."
"No, it's okay! I didn't really love it the way Luhan does, anyway. I'm majoring in photography."
"Do you like it?"
"Yep! It's so much fun. Yifan is taking it with me." 
Sehun and Zitao started walking, leaving the restroom. Neither of them spoke, but they headed to the food court, no one protesting. "He's also in the exchange program. I'm guessing you haven't met him yet. Have you met Yixing?"
"Yea. We're in the same dance class." 
"Ah, I see." 
The two stood in front of the different restaurants, deciding what to buy. In the end, they both got bought just a soda, their indecision keeping them from eating. They sipped their drinks in silence, the slurping the only noises shared between them. 
"So, I'm going to take a wild guess and say that your friend who left was Jongin?" Zitao asked, playing with his straw.
Sehun looked up in surprise. "H-How did you know?" 
Zitao sighed. "Luhan talks about you. A lot. He's been talking about you since before classes began. He's always going on and on about how great his roommate is, how awesome of a dancer and how nice he is and perfect his face is." Sehun blushed. "He talks about you every day. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against you. But all I ever hear about from him is you. Luhan was really upset when your friend Jongin came over. He got really jealous but he couldn't do anything because you needed Jongin? Luhan wouldn't say anymore than that. I know a lot about you and I haven't even met you until today. He likes you."
"I know."
Zitao's mouth opened in shock momentarily before closing. "He confessed?" Sehun nodded. "Wow. I didn't think that he had it in him. I'm guessing that you didn't feel the same way..."
"No! That's not it. I like him, too. It's just...I don't know. It's complicated." 
"Complicated? Nothing's ever complicated, Sehun. I know what happened between you two that made you skip out on our breakfast."
"That-What? No, that's because Jongin came over!"
"But Jongin wouldn't have come over if you had never confessed to Luhan." Sehun didn't say anythng so Zitao kept talking. "I know that you're feeling hurt and what Luhan did was wrong. Trust me, all three of us yelled at him for what he did. But if you two like each other, than what's the point of waiting?"
Sehun looked down, thinking of what Zitao was saying. He made sense and everything that he said was true. Why were they waiting? There was no reason to wait. He should be jumping up and down in excitement, thinking of different ways of how to ask Luhan to be his. They should be kissing, making up for lost time and living their lives, happy. 
But Sehun was scared. Why would Luhan honestly want to be with him. There was no logical reason. Sehun wasn't perfect. Sehun was a scared boy who didn't know how to interact with other people, making himself closed off from the world.
"I'm scared." 
Zitao placed a hand on his shoulder. "Did you ever think that maybe Luhan was scared, too?" 
"What? Why would Luhan be scared?"
"Luhan has insecurities just like everyone else. You're younger than him, Sehun. He was scared that you're going to grow up, your thoughts changing as the years passed by. Feelings change and he was terrified that you'd drop him, tossing him aside like he wasn't anything but trash."
"I would never do that! Not...not after what happened to me. I know what that feels like. I would never do that to Luhan." 
"He doesn't know that."
The two stay quiet, Sehun processing the information that was given to him. He grabbed his drink, sipping through the straw until there was nothing left. 
"I'll talk to him."
Zitao smiled again, squeezing Sehun's shoulder. "That's good." Zitao finished his drink and both of them stood up, tossing the empty cups into a trash can. They headed towards the exit of the airport, passing people who were rushing to catch their flights. 
"What are you doing here, anyway?"
"Oh, I was supposed to meet one of Yifan's friends here, but their flight was cancelled for some reason."
"Why would you be here then?"
"Yifan had to do stuff, so I was going to drive them to their hotel."
It only took a few seconds for it to click in Sehun's head. "Oh! You're dating!"
Zitao laughed the entire way to their cars. 
 

                                                                    ~*~*~*~

Sehun sat outside in the same garden that Luhan had first confessed to him, watching people come and go, books and laptops open in front of them. He imagines himself coming here with Luhan again, both of them studying for an upcoming exam that they're stressing over. He can imagine himself with Luhan, the older in between his legs, his back pressed against Sehun's chest, the two of them talking and laughing. 
Sighing, Sehun debates on whether or not he should call Luhan to straighten things out. Things have been weird between the two of them ever since Jongin left. The talk with Zitao had been in his head for days now and it was bugging him. He knew he had to do something. Luhan had been a good friend before anything happened and Sehun felt like he was losing him. He hated that the first person he had opened up to in college was drifting away. It didn't matter that Sehun was hurting. He couldn't lose Luhan.
He got up, stretching his back before leaving the garden, heading for his dorm room. He knew that Luhan was out eating with Yixing so Sehun knew that he would be alone for few more hours. He could call Jongin and ask him for advice but he wasn't sure if the other boy was busy with dance rehearsals. Sehun didn't want to bother him when he was busy. It would be selfish of him. 
Sehun walked into his building, deciding to get ready for his dance class later that evening. He still had a while before he had to head over to his classroom, but it couldn't hurt to prepare and go over a few moves that he had trouble doing. 
He yawned, covering his mouth and lazily looking for his key in his pocket. Sehun leaned against the wall, digging through his pants trying to find the piece of brass that would allow him access into his room. He grew frustrated until he finally found it in his back pocket, taking it out and twisting it in his fingers. 
"I can't, Yixing. I can't."
Sehun freezes, key just about to go into the lock. He hears muffled noises behind the door and he can make out Luhan's voice, the older boy sounding like he's crying. Sehun hesitates, dropping his hand and holding the key by his side.
"Why not? Try again. If he rejects you again, just move on."
"I don't want to move on.
Sehun presses his ear to the door, trying to hear better through the wood seperating him from what was going on. He held his breath, not wanting to alert the two inside of his eavesdropping. 
"You don't? But he-"
"I know. I know. Even though he turned me down and broke my heart, I can't be mad. Because that's exactly what I did to him. I have no right to be upset when he put himself out there and I rejected him."
"Luhan...I know you really like him, but he said no for a reason. Maybe you should just forget about him. Move in with me until you get over him."
Sehun stepped back slightly, Yixing's words shocking him. 
He could hear Luhan chuckling, the sound void of any emotion. "I should. It sounds like a really good idea. That's what I should be doing." 
Sehun found himself shaking his head, heart thumping at the though of Luhan forgetting him. He grabbed his key and jammed it into the lock, twisting the door knob and letting himself in, looking frantic as the pair on the bed looked up, eyes wide. 
"Sehun! You're back!" Luhan exclaimed, face turning slightly red. 
Sehun's mouth went dry under Yixing's gaze, the usually cheerful and excited boy glaring at him. Sehun stared at Luhan, hoping that the older boy would get the message and ask Yixing to leave, but Luhan's eyes just looked confused, dark orbs sending questioning looks. 
"Sehun?" Luhan asks, wondering why his roommate still hasn't said anything. 
Sehun snaps out of his daze when Yixing clears his throat, exasperation written all over his face. Sehun reminds himself not to anger the man anymore than he already has. Something tells him that even though Yixing is nice, he would kill you if you got onto his bad side. 
"I-I...uh, I got bored, so I came back to practice some dance moves. I didn't know you guys were in here." 
"Oh! Do you want us to leave?" 
"Uh-"
Yixing stood up before Sehun could reply, grabbing onto Luhan. "Let's go somewhere else. We don't to be a bother to Sehun." He dragged Luhan until he was by the door, tugging on their jackets. Luhan looked back to Sehun one last time before he was taken out of the room by Yixing. 
Sehun didn't think about what he did next. He ran out of the room and caught up to Yixing and Luhan in the hallway, wrapping his fingers around Luhan's wrist, stopping him from going any further. 
"Let's talk."
Yixing tugs Luhan away from Sehun but the younger doesn't let go, annoying Yixing further. "I'm with Luhan right now. You can wait your turn, okay?"
"Yixing, I'm not a toy that you guys switch off using!" Luhan yells, getting upset at watching his two friends fight. 
Sehun doesn't back down, pulling Luhan towards him. "This is important. I'm sure you can understand that." 
"Go back to practicing your dance moves or something. I was hanging out with Luhan first." 
Luhan yanks his wrists from both of the boys, crossing his arms over his chest. "Stop it. Both of you."
"But he-"
"I was only trying to-"
Luhan puts his hands up, silencing both of them. "I don't care. You guys are acting silly. What's up with you two? I thought you were friends!"
Yixing sighed. "We are. It's just-"
"Just what? This is ridiculous. I'm going to talk with Sehun, if that's alright with you," Luhan said, raising both his eyebrows at Yixing.
Yixing nodded, obviously annoyed at being called out. "I'll be in my room if you need me." He his heel, walking away from them before looking over his shoulder at Sehun. "See you in dance." Yixing turned around again and walked down the hall, leaving Sehun and Luhan alone.
"Let's go back to the room?" Luhan asked.
Sehun shook his head. "No. I have a better place we can go to."
Sehun grabbed onto Luhan's wrist again, walking towards the stairs and letting his feet walk the familiar path. He looked back and saw a look of recognition on Luhan's face and smiled. 
Sehun had only been to the roof once and he vowed that he would never go again after what happened between him and Luhan. But today was different. Today, Sehun was going to fix his life, starting with Luhan.


                                                                       ~*~*~*~


"We could've stopped by the room and brought some sweaters with us, you know," Luhan said, arms wrapped around himself, trying not to shiver.
"The last time you brought me here I didn't bring a sweater, so this is payback."
Luhan whined, arms going to wrap around himself more, but kept his mouth shut, lower lip jutting out into a pout. Sehun chuckled, almost feeling guilty at making Luhan cold. Almost. 
"What did you want to talk about that we couldn't do it in the room?"
Sehun shrugged, sitting down where he was standing, patting the spot next to him. Luhan went over and settled himself close to Sehun, leaning in and trying to get as warm as possible. Luhan rested his head on Sehun's shoulder, not noticing when the younger boy tensed, the feel of Luhan's body warming him up.
"It felt like the right place to say what I'm going to say."
"Here? Of all places? We could've gone down to a cafe or something," Luhan suggested, enjoying the idea of drinking hot coffee at the moment. 
"No. There's way too many people." 
"Sehun, what are you-" 
Luhan stopped talking. It wasn't like he could. It was pretty hard to use your mouth when someone else's lips were on them. Luhan's eyes widened when he felt Sehun's lips on his, closing them as he let himself melt into the kiss, pushing back just as eagerly as Sehun was.
Sehun's heart was beating erratically, the softness of Luhan's lips making him light-headed. This wasn't Sehun's plan when he first brought Luhan up here, but the older just kept talking and talking and Sehun was getting nowhere, so Sehun went to drastic measures. He moved his lips softly, a shiver going down his spine when he felt Luhan do the same, tongue slightly peeking out and at Sehun's lower lip. 
Sehun pulled away, not wanting to get to heated up and do something neither of them were ready for. He looked at Luhan's lips, red and swollen, eyes glazed over. He desperately wanted to take those lips again, but he came here to do something and he couldn't back out now.
"Luhan. Luhan. My roommate, Luhan. The guy who stole my heart. The guy who broke my heart. The guy who confessed yet I was too stupid to accept and say yes."
"Sehun-"
"Shh, let me finish. I like you, Luhan. I like you so ing much. I was so scared when I confessed to you, and I was so happy when you confessed to me. It seems that we're always confessing to each other but we never actually get together. I'm tired of it! I want to be with you. I don't care about my stupid doubts or how terrified I am at the thought of you leaving me, because I want you. In every way. I want to be able to cuddle with you at night and wake up to your terrible morning breath and have you hug me even though I smell like sweat from dancing and I just want to kiss you all the damn time because wow that kiss was great and I just like you so much."
Sehun was out of breath by the time he finished talking and Luhan stared, wide-eyed and cheeks turning pink. Luhan reached up to wipe Sehun's bangs away from his face, feeling how he was shaking under his finger tips. 
"It's okay, Sehun. Calm down. It's okay," Luhan whispers comfortingly, letting the other lean into his touch. "Take a deep breath." 
Sehun obeys, surprised at how freaked out he had gotten. It takes a couple of minutes for his breathing to get back to normal. Sehun is resting his forehead on Luhan's shoulder, letting the older rub his back softly with his hand, whispering softly into his ear. 
"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get like that." 
Luhan smiles, the sight setting butterflies off in Sehun's stomach. "It's fine. I'm just happy that you're okay." 
It was Luhan who initiated the kiss this time, but Sehun didn't complain. He just let himself get into the kiss, the sparks flying around him pushing him to go further. 
Luhan pulled away, hands on either side of Sehun's face. "Does this mean you forgive me?"
Sehun laughed. "Yea. I forgive you." 
"Does this mean we're also-"
"Yes, it does. Now can I keep kissing you?" 
Luhan nods and Sehun leans in, instantly opening his mouth forcing Luhan to do the same. Their both surprised at the feel of having each other's tongues touch, Sehun eventually rolling on top of Luhan, using his arm to support Luhan's head. 
"I don't know if I could-" Sehun starts, breathless. 
"It's okay. Let's just do this. It's okay," Luhan reassures again, understanding that the Sehun is still new to this and he has to take things slow. 
They leave the roof, both of them cold and shivering, and continue things in their room, never going farther than a few shy touches on exposed skin or being brave and letting fingers expose under each other's shirts, staying just at the hip area. 
Sehun misses his first dance class ever and he'll get an earful from Yixing later, but right now he doesn't care. He's with Luhan right now and he's wanted this since the beginning, when Luhan helped him get away from that party and took him to the safety of his room.
He calls Jongin when Luhan has already fallen asleep, tears welling up in his eyes from how happy he is that something in his life is going the way it's supposed to. He does cry when he hears how happy Jongin is for him, his best friend shouting and yelling. Jongin doesn't stop talking until Sehun tells him to shut up and even then Jongin is still expressing his excitement. 
Jongin hangs up after making Sehun promise to call him back soon to tell him exactly how things went. Sehun goes to lay down next to Luhan, smiling as he feels the sleeping boy cuddle up to him instantly. He wraps and arm around him and pull a blanket over both of them. 
Sehun dreams happily that night, any thoughts of sadness gone.