I laid motionless in the pitch black room, nothing but the sound of sad love songs on repeat. The pain in my heart killed me slowly with every beat, radiating from my chest to my whole body. I could barely breath. I couldn't cry. I couldn't move. My heart was heavy. My mind could not stop running, running aimlessly, useless thoughts and painful memories stained my mind. It would not allow me to close my eyes and find the peace that I thirst for, to escape from this reality. My brain tormented itself. I was lost, deep in the abyss of hopelessness and despair, I could not get out. I felt like I was going crazy. I don't know how long I have been like this, how long I have been in this dark room, not knowing what day or time it was. I didn't care anymore...

I felt frustrated. I hated everything, myself, how vulnerable I am, how I am unable to move past this, I hated who I \was, who I've become. I hated our love. I hated him.

After not answering any of the member's calls and messages nor answering the door when they came, for I don't even know how long, they finally had enough. They brought a lock smith and took down the lock to my apartment. They found me inside my room lifeless. They took me out of my broken down state. When I realize that they were there, I gathered enough energy to smile back at them. I got up and walked from the room, they followed me.

“You were here this whole time, why didn't you answer us?” Hyesung asked

“Dude are you okay? What happened” Eric questioned me

“Hyung we're always here for you. Please talk to us and tell us what's wrong?” Andy queried

“Nothing is wrong. I was just tired and resting for a few days.” I managed to reply, unable to face them

“Dongwan ah something is seriously wrong. Why won't you tell us? You look sick,” Hyesung said

“I'm really fine guys. I'm just exhausted and need some rest, don't be so dramatic,”

“Dramatic? Hyung we haven't heard from you in weeks and now you look thin and pale. How are we not supposed to worry about you?” Junjin yelled, worry clearly written on his face

“I'm was just a little down these days, Don't worry. Let me go freshen up and we can go out to eat okay? Will that make you worry less?” I try to say as enthusiastic and convincing as I possibly can.

“Sure. At least we can see you eat and hopefully you will look better” Eric said

“Okay give me a second,” I said.

I rushed into my closet to change, then went into the bathroom to wash up. I looked at myself in the mirror. I could not recognize the lifeless person that was staring back at me. I shook my head and prepared myself to face the other members again. I put on a fake smile as I open the door. We went to eat porridge, since they thought that it was the best thing for me. I tried to convince them that I was okay, so that they can get off my back. They were back to their usual selves when I started to eat and joke around with them. Everything was tasteless to me. I just put it in my mouth and swallowed it. Hyesung went to the pharmacy and got me some medicine. After eating we walked around for a bit. Smthing about these streets seem very familiar to me and then it clicked, Minwoo and I once held hands and walked down these streets happily. The memory felt like a stab to my heart. I tried to compose myself to not let the others notice, on the inside I felt like dying. After a while. They dropped me off at my house and went home themselves.

I walked along the hall way to my apartment. My body was numb, I could hear my heartbeat. I struggled to let myself into my apartment. As soon as I got in, I took some sleeping medication and feel asleep on the couch. I couldn't take it anymore. This pain is unbearable for me. I need to escape, or it will consume me and I will die.

The next morning, I woke up with a big headache. I stumbled into the kitchen for some water and medicine. As I walked past a drawer, a photograph of us fell on the floor. I picked it up and looked at it, tears blurred my vision. I got a pen and a piece of paper to write him a letter, to bid my last farewell. I gather everything that I had of the relationship and placed it in a box. I put the letter on top of everything and closed the lid. I went to his house and left it in front of his door.

“Dear my love Minwoo,

Thank you for everything. The happiness that you gave me is something I will never be able to forget. The days we spent together, were the happiest in all of my life. You were everything to me. I guess I never thought that I would lose you, not in this way, but I lost you. It is something that I can never forgive myself for. All the pain and tears that I have caused you, I am sorry. I know that you don't love me anymore and you don't want me anymore, but I still love you so much. Something deep inside of me wants to wait for you. But I don't think I can handle all of this pain anymore. This is the last time you will ever hear from me. I hope that you will meet someone that will make you happy and love you. Have a good life.

Goodbye my love. I bid you my last farewell. I love you and I will always love you.”

Sorry guys, if I mislead you into this one. I know the beginning was very bright and happy, but I originally had the intention of making this one sad. I apologize for breaking all the Woodong hearts out there T.T please forgive me.  Thank you for reading and subscribing <3