Me and him, we were close friends ever since we first met. Something just clicked between us and we became the best of friends. Some where long the way during our long years of being friends, he became more than a friend to me. I wanted to spend time with him more and more. Being around him made my heart flutter. Being with him just feel so comfortable, so right, something that I have never felt with anyone before. I feel like I could be myself around him and we were very happy. Things that I could not even tell my family, I was able to tell him. It is not easy for me to trust people, but I trusted him. He became such an important part of my life, that it was impossible for me to imagine it without him, I wanted him to always be by my side.

When I realized my feelings for him, I pushed it aside. I did not want our friendship to be ruined and I was also afraid of rejection, because I knew that he did not love me the way that I loved him. He was always into girls and he was very charming and flirtatious. My heart could not contain its jealousy whenever I saw him sweet talking girls and flirting with them. I wished that that was me. I wished that he could be mine.

As we spent more time together, my feelings for him grew even more. We were always talking to each other, whether it be in person, on the phone, or over the internet. There was not a thing that we could not talk about with each other. I grew greedy, I wanted him to be mine and I wanted to be his. I gave him subtle hints here and there when we would talk. I did not have enough courage to confess to him yet.

On one late evening when we were talking, something inside of me told me to tell him about my feelings. I was very nervous and anxious. Part of me already knew what the answer was, but I still wanted to take the risk. I confessed that I liked him, that my feelings for him were more than just friends. He apologized to me, saying that he did not have the same feelings for me, that he only saw me as only a close friend and that he cherished our friendship.

I couldn't say that I did not see this coming, but I had to accept the fact. I told him that I did not expect anything and that we can just be friends. In the beginning he acted a bit different around me. He hesitated to do things that he would normally do around me or act around me. I also tried to pull away, so that I can get my feelings straight, but I just could not. These feelings were taking over me and the best that I could do was to hide them, tuck them away in a secret place and not expose it. As time wore on, he was normal around me again. I tried my best to do the same.

I was stressed out from my work and my family were having problems. I was just not in a very happy place. I was trying to hide it. As I was talking to him, he was very insensitive to me and my feelings at the time. I did not have enough tolerance for anything anymore at the point, so I got very mad at him. I did not talk to him for a few days. During that week, the Shinhwa members held a meeting to plan for our comeback. I could not avoid it so I came and sat next to the other members and stayed away from him. I would steal glances at him from across the room, but would not let him know that I did. I joked and laughed with the members. After the meeting I rushed out with the excuse that I had plans and drove home.

Later on that night, I received a call from him. I hesitated and did not pick up. He started to text me, saying that he was sorry and that he wanted to talk, so I called him back.

“Hello Wannie.” Minwoo said on the other side of the phone.

“Yeah... Did you call me?” I said, tired and irritated.

“Yeah, I just wanted to say sorry for the other night.” He said

“It's fine. I'm okay. You don't need to apologize.” I said in a sullen voice.

“No, it was my fault. I apologize.”

I didn't answer him. I did not know what to say to him. Suddenly I heard his voice again.

“I... I miss you Wannie. It' been driving me crazy these past few days. I can't stop thinking about you. These past few months I've been noticing you and I don't even know why. I've been thinking about a lot of things these past few days and I think … that I.. I think I.. like you....” He said.

My mind was going a million miles per hour. I didn't know what to think. What did he just say? Did he just say that he likes me? Was he serious about what he just said? I don't know what to think or what to say.

“Uhhhhmmmmm.... That was a lot to process. Do you mean it? Are you sure about what you just said?” I finally replied.

“Yeah I'm serious about it. When you started to ignore me, I thought that I would be fine, but something inside me just didn't feel right. I kept on looking for you. I didn't think that you could ignore me and avoid me for that long. Today seeing you happy with the others made me jealous. It made me realize that I miss you. I missed you a lot actually and it made me realize how much I like you.” he confessed.

“Honestly I have been trying hard to let go of all of my feelings for you. It's been really hard and I am struggling. These past few months have been difficult on me. I was using this chance to get over you. I don't really know what this means for us. I mean I still have feelings for you and everything, but I just don't know what to do Minwoo.” I replied

“How about we take it slow. We don't have to be anything right now, we'll just wait and see where it takes us. If we both feel the same way later, then we can figure it out then. Now I just know that I want to be near you again, because being away from you is driving me crazy. Okay Wannie?” He said.

“Haha I'm glad you've learned you lesson Minwoo. I think that's a good idea. I missed you too, but now I have to sleep because I am exhausted from dance practice. I'll see you tomorrow okay?” I said while letting out a yawn.

“Okay then. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight Wannie. Sweet dreams!”

“Bye Minbong!” I said then hung up the phone. I could feel my heart beating fast. I had to take a minute to breath, to let everything soak in.

This was the beginning of us.