The Unfulfilled Present

The trees swayed and danced along with the wind. The sun shone more brightly than ever and the birds flew so gracefully with the clouds up high. It was one pleasant Saturday afternoon, nearly the end of the spring season.

Summer was fast approaching.

But where was Zhang Yixing?

Spring has gone, but when Yixing came back, something was different.

Summer was when the unicorn came back from the sky, broken after he had fallen.

Summer was when an angel came down to shine upon him and to restore the warmth in his heart.

Like he was given a chance to rise from a downfall.

 

Summer was when he lived again.

 

 

“Have you found anything new about his whereabouts?”

“No. Unfortunately…”

“I heard he was last seen at—”

“Yeah, but that was too long ago!”

 

Chanyeol sighed. Listening to and looking at everything around him right now was just heartbreaking. Tears, desperation, confusion… loss. There was no death (at least, not that they know of), yet everyone felt a void inside their hearts for someone who was very important to them was missing.

Zhang Yixing was missing, and it’s been 48 hours since he was nowhere to be found.

When Chanyeol first heard from Seulki—crying as she looked so incredibly panic-stricken, that Lay has disappeared, he felt as though a part of him had vanished, too. Lay was a close friend of Chanyeol’s, best buddies they considered each other, and he played a big role in Chanyeol and Seulki’s love story. Lay, as well as Kyungsoo, was like the sibling he never had.

For Seulki though, Lay was a very precious older brother. Her beloved Xingxing gege. He understood why not having him there beside her for the first time since they were kids made her lose the usual giddiness and hyper, outgoing attitude she usually possessed, but that just made him even sadder. Seulki was his fellow happy virus. And when a happy virus cries… it’s just one of the most heartbreaking sights ever.

He had to be strong, though. There still was hope.

He had to be strong not only for the love of his life, but also for his friends. Kyungsoo, Hyejeong, and the rest were hurting, too. He was the Happy Virus. The least he could do was to lessen the pain they were feeling by showing them that no matter how hard life might be, there will always be a reason to smile.

There still was hope to hold on to, and he wasn’t gonna let go of that. He’d make sure they wouldn’t.

Even if that which he was holding on to might as well be false hope.

 

 

Seulki sat in front of the television, the images fleeting before her eyes without even being analyzed by her brain. Her eyes were glassy, not because of the movie flashed in the screen, but because of the memories that replayed in her head like a cinematic record. Memories that made her laugh and smile. Memories that she enjoyed with her brother.

Memories of her and Zhang Yixing. Happy memories that she will cherish forever.

The thought of losing him broke her heart in ways that seemed irreparable. He was a part of her life that will eternally remain irreplaceable.

48 days has passed since they last saw him. For almost two months, Yixing has been missing and no one knew where he was, or why he left. He disappeared with no note, no letter, no clue, nothing. Like thin air, he magically vanished. It was all too sudden; for everyone, it was too unfathomable and unbearable.

Chanyeol couldn’t bear seeing Seulki like this. Whenever he was too tired, too lonely, too disappointed with life, she was always there to remind him that it was just a bad day, not a bad life. She was always there to smile up at him so brightly as if to tell him that there will always, always be a reason for everyone to smile. She was always there to laugh too hard at his jokes that were too corny, always there to give him happiness, to cause him delight.

He knew Seulki tried to hide the pain she felt. At school, she would laugh and smile and pretend that nothing was wrong, knowing perfectly well that Chaerin was there and more than anyone else, she had it the hardest. At home, she would ask Kyungsoo how his day went; she would help Hyejeong with the chores; she would try and try to fill up the emptiness that Yixing left behind, knowing perfectly well that her siblings were hurting too.

But there were certain moments, certain instances, certain circumstances where the façade falls off. Like this. In which her strong mask falters, and all that’s left is the ghost of the smile that he had fallen in love with.

“Oppa,” Seulki’s voice breaks through Chanyeol’s reverie and the soft fragility that he heard in it made him miss the high-pitched enthusiasm that used to always linger with each word she uttered.

“Yes, my princess?”

“Do you remember when Xingxing gege cried when you hugged me for the first time?” She laughed, and he thought it sounded forced. “It was too funny—he was such a shipper! He used to call us ‘ChanSeul’ but nah, everyone was all ‘ChanKi’ and he was our number one shipper and if it weren’t for him, we wouldn’t have met, and—”

Chanyeol wiped away the tears that silently escaped Seulki’s eyes with a gentle hand, and she gasped, unaware that she was crying.

She shifted in her seat, looked up at him with the saddest look he has ever seen in her face, and Chanyeol felt like crying, too. “I miss him, oppa.”

“Shh.” Chanyeol wrapped his strong arms around Seulki and cradled her head against his chest. “We all do,” he whispered.

“I miss Lay gege so much.” Seulki was crying so hard now, arms tightly wound around her boyfriend’s waist, and her tears soaking through the fabric of Chanyeol’s shirt.

“I hate him for leaving us without a goodbye and for making Chaerin unnie suffer because of him. I hate him for being so insensitive—who are we to guess like Sherlock? Kudo Shinichi? But what if… what if he didn’t leave in purpose, oppa? What if he got kidnapped by some really scary drug syndicate and then they got him overdosed because he tried to escape, or maybe he got abducted by an alien and that’s way the lame police really can’t find him until now, and—ohmygod, oppa, what if he’s dead?”

She cried even harder, her sobs loud and full of pain, and throughout her monologue, she couldn’t even hear Chanyeol’s ‘shhh’s and ‘It’s okay’s as he rubbed her back with comforting circles, trying to calm her down.

“Seulki-ah,” she finally heard his deep voice say. “Seulki, look at me.” He pulled away a little but stayed close, cupping and caressing Seulki’s cheeks as he gently wiped her seemingly endless tears.

“Baby, don’t cry. It’s just a bad day. Well… the 48^th bad day since… But it’s not a bad life.” He smiled at her with the brightest smile he could muster and said ever so sincerely, “So smile, my princess. When you smile, the sun shines.”

They sat there for a few moments, locked gazes sharing silent whispers of comfort and unheard promises.

“Oppa.” She wasn’t uncontrollably crying anymore, definitely calmer. “Next time you try to comfort me… don’t quote a boy group’s song, okay? It’s lame.” And Chanyeol swore that he saw a rainbow there and then when Seulki smiled. Really smiled. “And oppa?”

“Hmm?” He pinched her cheek fondly.

“Don’t leave me, okay?”

Chanyeol was dumb-founded. Going away would mean losing Seulki, and no, he doesn’t want that.

Just the thought of losing her broke his heart in ways that seemed irreparable. She was, after all, a part of his life that will eternally remain irreplaceable.

“Promise me, Channie oppa. You’ll never leave me.”

As Chanyeol held her close, locking Seulki in a warm and reassuring embrace, he whispered into her ear the unbreakable promise of their always and forever.

“Naver.”

 

 

 

Kyungsoo, with those wonderful big eyes of his, observed everything around him like a very curious and dubious owl. Seulki was laughing at a —err, corny joke Chanyeol had whispered into her ear, Hyejeong was busy arguing with a certain man named Kim Myungsoo who looked rather pleased than annoyed, and the rest of the students who were there to visit their beloved lost-now-found Student Council President just contributed to the overpopulation of Zhang Yixing’s room.

Months after he was reported missing, Lay was found walking the streets of Gangnam like a zombie who got high on .

Spring has passed entirely along with the loss and the loneliness, and it was the beginning of the summer when the warmth returned to their hearts.

He was in a state of ‘coma’ since hospitalization… but only for the entire night. He woke up today looking good as new, if you exclude the paleness of his skin and the bandage covering the wound on his head.

It was almost perfect. . .

But Lee Chaerin wasn’t there. . .

“Kyungsoo-ssi!”

He turned his head and found Lee Jieun, the secretary of the Student Council, with Lee Sungyeol, her brother. Both were close friends of theirs.

“Jieunnie! What did I tell you about that ‘-ssi’ thing, I told you I hate formalities. Please call me Kyungsoo, or ‘the one who holds great strength,’ either is fine with me.” He grinned.

Jieun rolled her eyes and Sungyeol laughed. “Nice one, bro.” Insert brofists here.

“Whatever. Geez.” Jieun managed a smile, though. “By the way… Here,” she handed him a cutely-decorated box, tied with a blue ribbon.

“Are these—?”

“Brownies, yeah. Woohee and Seolhyun helped Pony and me to make those. For the Prez.”

Kyungsoo was about to undo the ribbon but Jieun slapped his hand. “I have no idea who those people you just mentioned are.”

“Are you kidding me? Bae Woohee. Kim Seolhyun. Park Hyemin. How could you not know them? They’re Seulki and Hyejeong’s friends, too.”

“And they’re really pretty,” Sungyeol added. “But of course you don’t know them ‘coz you’re always too busy wondering if lime and lemon were healthy for owls.”

Kyungsoo scoffed. “Oh, shut up, other tall Yeol.”

“Anyway, the other two aren’t here, but Pony—that’s Park Hyemin—is. . . I think I saw her somewhere . . . Oh, there she is!” Jieun points at the pretty doll-like blonde lady who just ruined ChanKi’s lovey-dovey moment by clinging onto Seulki’s arm and metaphorically devouring the side of hers that was not contaminated by Chanyeol.  

“Ooooh, don’t eye her like that, Bambi eyes,” Sungyeol hits his arm playfully with a mischievous grin plastered on his face. “That girl has this thing going on with Luhan—”

“But I wasn’t even—”

“Guys? Patient here’s trying to sleep.” A not-so-loud cry from the middle of the room made all the people around turn their heads and pause. “Can you all please shut up a little?”

Pause. Blink. Loading… Buffering… Pentium 1…

“Xingxing gege!” Of course, Seulki’s high-pitched voice above everyone else’s.

Everyone, including all 10 of them, suddenly surrounded the now-awake Zhang Yixing and greeted him with a warm and friendly smile.

“Wow, there’s so many of you here. Thanks for the concern, yoreubun.” Blah blah blah.

It was almost perfect. . . Because Lay is back, and he’s almost completely okay.

But Lee Chaerin wasn’t there . . . because when Lay woke up the first time since they got him back, she was the only person he couldn’t remember.

Or so they thought.

Despite the congratulatory mode and happy reunion everyone was having, Kyungsoo couldn’t help but feel bothered by the nagging feeling in his gut.

He met Lay’s eyes and a knowing look passed between them. Kyungsoo reluctantly smiled and nodded at his brother as he thought, ‘Damn, it to be the only one who knows.’

 

“The last thing I remember was going to a gift shop to buy something for someone… but I don’t really remember what that gift was, and for whom.”

Chaerin eyes the purple unicorn plushie against her chest upon hearing those words come out of Yixing’s mouth. ‘Did he really forget?’ she thought. ‘Did he really forget about me?’

Since the day Yixing told her that he couldn’t remember who she was, Chaerin has been avoiding any contact with him. She couldn’t forget the look on his face when he first opened his eyes and saw her. There was not even a single trace of recognition. And when she called him, “Lay oppa,” instead of the usual smile and oh-so-sweet mention of “Chae,” all she got was a frown and a confused, “Uh… N-nugusaeyo?”

It hurt. A lot.

And it still hurts now.

She hugged the plush toy tightly and buried her head against it, muffling her sobs. This was the toy she found by ‘their’ tree, as if it was waiting for her. It was the 27^th of March, her first monthsary with Yixing. She thought it was a surprise from the man, but no matter how many times she called him out, no matter how long she waited for him then… No Yixing came.

The toy was the last gift she was ever gonna receive from her healing unicorn.

“But that gift… where is it now, Lay oppa?” she heard Hyejeong ask.

“I don’t know, Linus,” he replied without missing a beat. “Everything since then till before I woke up in the hospital—I really don’t remember.”

Chaerin leaned against the wall just beside the slightly opened door of the room where the two were having their conversation. She knew eavesdropping was wrong, but she couldn’t help it.

“But of all people, you only can’t recognize Chaerin unnie? Just her and no one else? How is that even possible?” 

She heard Yixing sigh. “I’m sorry, Linus. I just really can’t…” His voice sounded exhausted.

Chaerin felt exhausted, too.

And so, hastily, she wiped her tears away and got up. There was no use holding on to something that’s better off forgotten—to someone who doesn’t even know you, doesn’t even remember how much he loved you.

Bringing the final painful reminder of how her healing unicorn has hurt her more than ever, of how he has forgotten his sweet promises, Chaerin walked away and left for good.

She didn’t say goodbye.

But neither did Lay, so why bother?

 

Hyejeong remembers the way Yixing looked when she told him that Chaerin left school. He looked so sad, regretful, and guilty. She thought it was because he felt like he owed it to his girlfriend—or unofficial ex-girlfriend—to remember her, but he failed to.

 “Maybe it’s best for you guys to end things this way. Surely, it was what’s meant to happen. Perhaps you weren’t fated to love each other,” she had told him. “It’s not your fault.” 

Looking at him now, she felt happy. She was happy because he looked happy.

What once was lost has now been found. Sure, there remained to be a void in his heart that was once filled by memories of Chaerin which he couldn’t remember. But at least they’re all together now to help fix his heart back to completion.

They were in the living room of their apartment, and while Kyungsoo was peeling apples for them in the kitcheb, Seulki was telling Yixing about the things he should catch up on, people he should meet.

“You should meet Seolhyunnie,” Seulki was saying. “She’s really an angel! She volunteered to be the SCB’s errand girl to help out in a lot of stuff and Youngjae oppa really likes her but he’s already dating Sora unnie so I thought it’d be great if you met her, gege!”

Yixing just smiled at the younger and pinched her cheek fondly just as Hyejeong approached the two of them, saying, “Seulki, really. Stop trying to be a cupid.”

“I’m not! I’m just—”

“Seulki. Surely, you’re not forgetting about Chaerin unnie.” Hyejeong warned. Seulki bit her lip and looked down.

“It’s alright.” Yixing interrupted. “Tell me more about this Seolhyunnie.” Seulki brightened at that.

He was curious about her.

He wanted to know what made this someone who was so loved by those precious people around him so special. If she really was as angelic as they say. Also, he wants to thank her for being there for his friends when he wasn’t.

‘When will I get to meet her?’ he wondered.

Soon, he hoped.

Before she disappears.

Or before he disappears again.

Seolhyun barely made it in time. She entered the room, panting as she bent down and caught her breath, and quickly placed on the table the bag of stuff she was asked to buy.

“Mianhaeyo!” she sincerely said and bowed. “I got held up with choir practice, and almost forgot about the errand you asked of me.”

Youngjae, the Vice President of the Student Council, just chuckled and ruffled her hair upon approaching her. “You really are too kind, Seolhyunnie. I told you to just let Jieun do it for you if you were too busy.”

“Ani,” she flashed her angelic smile. “Gwaenchanayo. I like helping you guys.”

“And we’re really grateful for that.” Youngjae pinched her cheek. “I wouldn’t have done a great job as acting School President since Yixing-ssi’s disappearance if it weren’t for your constant help and assistance.”

Seolhyun just chuckled, and took a seat after greeting Jieun and Hyemin who were there, too.

The four proceeded with making decorations (for the talent show that was going to be held by the end of the month, spearheaded by the school’s Student Council Board) and shared stories, jokes, teases and laughter.

Seolhyun eyes the three, and couldn’t help but smile to herself. Creatively cutting a paper heart, she remembers how she first got acquainted with this party. She was a new student two months ago, a very late enrollee who arrived in the academy at a really peculiar timing. Usually, schools wouldn’t accept newbies at around that time of the year, but Seolhyun’s family had the money (much of it) and…

Anyway, being a newbie then was hard, especially when half of the school year has already passed. Most people have formed cliques and groups, and she found it hard to socialize, being naturally people-repellant and socially-awkward. Plus, as she was home schooled prior to their moving into the city, Seolhyun was used to being alone. She didn’t really have close friends around her age in the province she previously lived in, especially because she was surrounded by adults and farm animals and older people.

Other than her distant cousin Lizzy who occasionally visited her, Seolhyun didn’t really have anyone to relate to as comfortably as she wanted, who could pretty much relate to her, too.

But that was before she met Jieun and Hyemin. They were with a really hyperactive shortie named Seulki then, and ever so warmly, although out of the blue, they approached her and whole-heartedly asked her to be their friend.

It didn’t take long for them to be close like sisters. They were really fun to be with, despite their contrast in personalities. Jieun would never relate to how girly Hyemin was, and would often complain about Seulki’s loudness. They introduced her to their other friends, too, but Seolhyun wasn’t really close with some of the guys coz she gets shy around men, for some reason. She managed to get comfortable with some, though, over time—like Youngjae.

Seolhyun likes being friends with them. She likes her new friends a lot.

But who she’d like to know and be friends with was the mysterious School President, whom everyone seemed to talk about and missed, though was never there the entire duration of her stay in the academy so far.

She was curious about him.

She wanted to know why someone so loved by those precious people who made her feel special and welcomed would suddenly disappear like how she heard he did.

‘When will I get to meet him?’ she wondered.

Soon, she hoped.

Before he disappears again.

Or before she disappears first.

 

The first time they met, it was unexpected.

It was the first weekend since he got back to school from his incredibly long ‘vacation’ and he decided to take an afternoon jog to enjoy the beautiful weather after an entire morning of stress.

Earphones plugged in, he was singing along to his favorite song as he made a turn when—boom! pains. The impact was strong but he regained his footing at the last minute (reflexes he got from years of dancing), giving the person he bumped into a solo fall.

“Oh—I’m so sorry!” Yixing exclaimed and quickly helped the person up. He heard a soft ow from her and her eyes were closed as she cradled her arm—it must’ve been hurt from the fall.

Yixing mentally cursed himself for being careless (even if it wasn’t entirely his fault. It was a blind corner after all). “I’m really sorry. Are you alright?”

This is when she opens her eyes, and when she does, Yixing was caught off guard. He found himself staring into her sparkling, dark orbs and he felt lost in them for a second, suddenly aware of how close his face was to her beautiful one, how her long black tresses were cascading down her back, its ends tickling his arm that was around her waist—he didn’t even notice how his arm ended up there (it was probably on the process of helping her up and helping her keep her balance) or how the girl was staring at him weirdly as she finished her statement which Yixing failed to catch.

“—and I’m in a little bit of a hurry so if you mind letting go of me now…?”

 “Oh!” Yixing blinked out of his reverie and kept his hands to himself, stepping away ever so quickly. “Of course! Haha. Sorry.” He was feeling a lot of things at the moment and embarrassed was definitely one of them. He hoped it wasn’t obvious in his face and actions or he’d only embarrass himself even more, but he’s sure that’s not the case what with the way amusement flickered in the beautiful stranger’s eyes before him.

She bent down to pick up the books that fell out of her hold during the impact.

“Let me help you with that!” Yixing didn’t even notice the books there at first but he beat her to it and collected them as quickly as possible. He didn’t hand them to her, though.

“Let me carry this for you. Your arm must still hurt after… yeah.” He (lamely) told her.

 “It’s okay.” She reached out for the books. “I can manage.”

Yixing shook his head and held the books closer to his chest. “I insist.”

The girl—who was maybe of his age—just smiled and Yixing swore this must have been an angel’s apparition.

“Alright, then. If you insist.”

She led the way and Yixing followed, falling in step next to her. He wasn’t even aware himself on how his gaze never left her face.

“Careful now. You might bump into someone again. Or something.”

The teasing tone in her voice made Yixing look away.

And that’s how his morning plans suddenly shifted to something entirely different.

He met a beautiful stranger who, he learned, was working as a tutor-slash-babysitter for her neighbor’s kids (explains the books she was carrying) every weekend and lived a few blocks away from where he did. He learned that they were going to the same university and that that was where she came from, actually, before he bumped into her, after borrowing those books from the library. He had asked her all those, and she had answered all of them, cooperating in the question-and-answer that accompanied that comfortable walk they shared.

Yixing, though, being the forgetful unicorn that he is, had forgotten to ask her name.

So he turned around and just as she was about to get into the house, he shouted, “Wait!”

She faced him, looking surprised but was still evidently smiling that serene and kind angelic smile of hers. “Yes?”

“I forgot a very important thing.”

She tilted her head, still smiling. “And what might that be?”

“Your name.”

“I’m Kim Seolhyun.” Seolhyun. A beautiful name. Just like her. “You?”

“Yixing. Zhang Yixing. But you can call me Lay.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Lay.”

  

And as Yixing took the walk back home, enjoying the soft summer breeze and the way the sun lightly kissed his skin, he couldn’t help but smile and smile and smile.

Only then did he realize that her name did ring a bell. He said it and tasted the sound of her name on his tongue. “Seolhyun.”

It tasted like the warmth she exhumed.

It tasted like summer.

 

Today was their first meeting.

And today, he was sure, was the start of something new.

 

It was summer when hopeless Yixing returned.

It was summer when he found hope again.