The Unremembered Past

The Unremembered Past

The trees swayed and danced along with the wind. The sun shone so brightly and the flowers bloomed so beautifully. It was one pleasant Sunday morning, the beginning of the spring season.

Spring symbolized a promise—new hope.

But for Zhang Yixing?

Spring was anything but that.

Spring was when he decided that he’d rather just disappear. Like he ceased to exist.

Like he never existed at all.

Spring was when he died.

“Prez, please take a look at this first!”

“Mr. President, someone’s looking for you.”

“Kaichou, you’re needed at the gymnasium right now.”

“Wait, prez, please sign this first!”

Yixing sighed and mentally blocked all of the demands he had to face. He needed a break; that he was sure of. Being the student council president, at the same time the aspiring top student and class secretary of his batch, sure was tiring as hell. He didn’t ask for this, but it was a responsibility he had to deal with one by one.

Yes, one by one. . .

Slowly but surely. . .

He’ll survive. He’s Zhang Yixing after all.

He was just in the middle of dealing with what he had to deal with when--

“Lay gege!”

Yixing turned to the sound of a familiar voice and was greeted by the enthusiastic grin plastered on the face of the hyper girl he considered as his younger sister. Park Seulki stood by the door, waving at him like there’s no tomorrow. The smile and radiance she emanated was rather contagious; he couldn’t help but smile back.

“Hey~ How is my favorite meimei?” He approached her and gave her a light hug, which she returned.

“I’m awesome as ever. Listen, gege!” She grinned and jumped like an excited kid, which wasn’t so hard to believe if you looked into her height an childish demeanor. Heck, no one would believe that this girl was 19—she looked 13.

“Hmmm? Say what you wanna say, meimei, we don’t have all day for this.”

“Exactly! I’m here to kidnap you!”

Yixing blinked, and so did the rest of his minions who were, at that moment, only waiting for him to eradicate his distraction that was Seulki. “What do you mean--Kidnap?”

And at that, two of his other friends whom he considered as siblings as well suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Do Kyungsoo and Shin Hyejeong stood in each of his side and locked arms with him, wicked smile purposely directed towards the rest of the student council and school staff.

“We’ll borrow our brother for a sec, hmm?”

“Yeah, and by that, we mean we’ll return him by the beginning of next week!”

“It’s not right to let the president work overtime, especially on a Friday.”

“You guys should go home now, too! Get a life, people! Bye biiii~”

And that was how from being in hell on earth, Zhang Yixing aka Lay had been magically “kidnapped” and now “imprisoned” in the sweet haven that was their home. Yes, the foursome lived together in an apartment not too far away from the school they went to.

“Okay. So what now?” Yixing, now in his pj’s, asked the three who were wearing similar clothing as him.

Seulki pouted and threw a throw pillow at him, which his face caught well. “Ow! What was that for?”

He could hear a certain Bambi-eyed owl and angelic Amazon laughing at his misery as the youngest of them sorta bullied him. Seulki threw another pillow, which, thankfully, he caught by his hands this time.

“Xingxing gege, you pabooo!!! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

Yixing blinked, totally oblivious of what she meant. “Huh? Tell you what?”

Another pillow was thrown towards him, but coming from another direction. “Stop pretending like you’re innocent, you innocent-faced unicorn.” Kyungsoo, who was only a year older than Seulki, in.

“Huh? I, uhhh. . .” he seriously had no idea what the two were talking about, so he turned to Hyejeong, who was only a few months older than Kyungsoo, a year younger than himself, but was the most mature of all four of them. “A little help here, Hye?”

‘Help’ turned out to be another pillow kiss in the face.

“What the heck, you guys?! Just tell me, what did I do? What didn’t I tell you?”

The trio crossed their arms at the same time, as if on cue, and Hyejeong raised a brow. “You seriously have no idea?”

“No, Linus,” he emphasized the name, impatience slowly growing evident in his voice. It was a nickname—an angel name that he himself bestowed upon her—that he loved to use when addressing her ever since they were kids. “I don’t.”

“You sure?” It was Kyungsoo again this time.

Yixing heaved a sigh and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “No, Kyunggie, I am not.” He thought sarcasm would help, somehow.

“You really, really, really sure?” Seulki said in that high-pitched voice of hers, taking a tentative step towards him.

This time, he did roll his eyes. “Yes, meimei. Now, tell me—“

“Because, if you’re really, truly, dating Lee Chaerin and you didn’t tell us first, I’m gonna shave your armpit hair off and put it up on sale on eBay!”

Yixing’s eyes widened at the statement Seulki uttered to interrupt his. A lot of things were so wrong with that sentence; he just couldn’t comprehend the following:

1) How they knew about Lee Chaerin.

2) How a rumor about him dating her even began in the first place, because really, he wasn’t! (Yet.)

3) How the hell can you sell off armpit hair through eBay.

4) Why any sane human being would even buy that.

5) WHY ARMPIT HAIR?

He blinked and eyed the three in front of him.

Should he tell them?

The looks on their faces screamed that he should.

And so he did.

"One hot chocolate, coming right up!"

Yixing had been too engulfed in trying to finish his thesis and other paperworks lately, so much that he'd been locking himself up in his room. Today, though, he wanted to make a difference by trying to go out. His friends implanted the idea in his head, saying threats about being 'forever alone' and 'growing a horn on his forehead' (not that he cared, or believed all those), but he agreed that going out could help him destress a little.

Apparently, making that choice made a bigger difference in his life than he could ever imagine.

Chaerin was sick of crying. Sick of hoping. Sick of waiting for nothing.

"It's never gonna work if you're never here, Hyunwoo-yah. I love you, but. . . I can't put up with this anymore. Goodbye."

She hung up. And along with that phone call, she ended eleven months of waiting for her boyfriend who was never there for her. Eleven months of hoping that someday, somehow, he'll fulfill his promise of making it up for all the monthsaries and dates he missed, and other promises he failed to keep. Eleven months of crying for someone who made her believe that falling in love was worth it.

She was currently in a coffee shop, just a few blocks away from the school she went to, and on a table by the window on the far right corner of the shop was where she sat. A waiter arrived and placed her order, a cup of cappuccino and a big chocolate chip cookie. This was his favorite coffee, his favorite cookie, his favorite corner in his favorite place in the world. This was the coffee shop where she first met Hyunwoo. And that was exactly a year ago.

Today was supposed to be their first anniversary.

And yet, today was when she decided to end their relationship, too.

Hyunwoo, Hyunwoo, Hyunwoo—everything screamed of his name. She told herself that she wasn't gonna cry anymore. But she did. And this was gonna be the last time. After today, she'll leave everything behind in this godforsaken place. Never again would she allow another man to make her lonely. Never again would she allow herself to welcome another man into her life.

But just as she told herself that, a certain man came up to her with the kindest eyes and the most reassuring smile she had ever seen. He extended his arm out, and without words, handed her a handkerchief. She didn't know him but something about him made her accept his offer of kindness without any hesitation. All of a sudden, she forgot all about the bitterness that she locked in her heart.

The stranger patted her back as she wiped her tears, and instead of stopping, the gesture made her cry even more. He didn't seem surprised of her sudden outburst though, and instead, despite having no idea of the lady's identity, he hugged her tightly.

Chaerin didn't push him away. She didn't scream. She wasn't scared or weirded out by the man's sudden invading of her personal space. Instead, she returned the hug and cried against his chest. Chaerin wanted someone to hold on to, someone to comfort her and make her feel like everything was gonna be okay. And for the first time in a long time, she felt just that.

Funny how the reassurance she was looking for she got from a stranger. But at that moment, she didn't care.

"It's okay, miss," he said ever so kindly and sincerely, she thought her heart would finally stop breaking. "Everything's going to be okay."

Lay wasn’t the type to hang out with strangers (heck, he never even talked to them!) so what he just did totally surprised himself, too. It’s just that this woman occupying the table across from his looked so blue, and it bothered him. How can anyone seem so lonely, so fragile, so broken? The woman looked like someone who never wanted to show other people that she was capable of getting hurt—you know, the badass kind—that’s why when the first drop of tear escaped from the corner of her eye the moment she ended that phone call, he knew he just couldn’t sit there idly by.

That was because a long time ago, when he lost the most important people in his life, an angel came and embraced him to melt all his fears and sadness away.

And at this very moment, he became an angel for another person’s life, too.

Or, perhaps, a healing unicorn, in that matter.

It was rather an unusual day at school. He wasn’t as busy contrary to usual, and things actually seemed in order. He was strolling around the school campus, not leisurely though for he was in patrol, when he suddenly heard a loud cry in the garden. He ran to where the sound came from . . . and found her.

Fate brought Zhang Yixing and Lee Chaerin together a second time and she was still in tears.

“Where do your tears come from?” he asked as soon as he was able to sit beside her under the shade of the huge tree.

Chaerin had her head tucked between her knees, trying to block everything out, but she looked up when she heard his voice. Even with eyes blurred by tears, she could still see that reassuring smile on his lips. “I didn’t know we went to the same school,” was what she said in return.

“I didn’t, either. It’s actually nice to meet you here.”

Chaerin hastily wiped her tears and looked away. “Huh. I bet you’re actually tired of seeing me cry.”

“I bet you’re crying only to earn another hug from me.” He grinned. That earned a scoff from Chaerin.

“As if,” but she grinned back.

“You’re even more beautiful when you smile.” The out-of-the-blue comment brought a red tint on her cheeks, which she hid through leaning her head on his shoulder.

Lay was slightly taken aback with her actions, but he let her. He was already so used to being a shoulder to cry on, anyway. He remembered how his friends once warned him that if he continued being too sensitive for others like he was right now, his sympathy would soon lead to someone’s heartbreak. He never understood what they really meant by that assumption.

“I never got to ask you what your name was,” Chaerin broke the silence.

“Zhang Yixing,” he replied. “But a lot of people call me Lay.”

“Well, Yixing-ah,” she said, looked up at him to offer him a smile, “it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Lee Chaerin. CL for some.”

“Chaerin, huh?” he repeated, and tasted the sound of her name on his lips. He smiled back. “The pleasure’s all mine, Chae.”

Yixing and Chaerin’s rendezvous grew more frequent over time. Oftentimes at school they would meet under ‘their’ tree, whether by chance or by calling the other out.

It was under that same tree, too, when Yixing finally asked her out.

And under that same tree, Chaerin willingly opened her heart for another man once again, trusting that Yixing would never hurt her the way Hyunwoo did.

One afternoon, after a very busy day for the both of them, Yixing asked to meet her at the same place again. His moments with Chaerin of just sitting there, enjoying the sweet breeze of the spring season and the calmness of the vast blue sky, were his stress-reliever.

“Chae, have I ever told you how you reminded me of the sky?”

“Really, now.” She smiled and eyed their interlaced fingers. “How so?”

“The sky is vast and mysterious. As a kid, it always made me wonder what lies beyond that calming blue, why and how raindrops fall from them, and where do they come from.”

Chaerin silenly listened, an amused smile playing on her lips, and waited for Lay to continue.

“If it weren’t for Science, I wouldn’t have known, but Chae,” he looked at her and Chaerin saw in his eyes the curious boy that was Zhang Yixing innately, “I’ve been wondering since the very moment I met you. Where do your tears come from?”

“Didn’t you already ask me that before?” Chaerin chuckled.

“I know, but just like now, you dodged the query. I’m just curious. . . What made you lonely, Chaerin-ah? The fact that he left you hanging for the longest time, or the fact that you held on for far too long?”

Chaerin took her time before responding. She looked up at the sky and watched the clouds move so freely above them. Truthfully, she wasn’t sure of how to answer his question. Talking about the past still bothered her, and honestly, she wasn’t sure of what truly made her lonely. And so, she shook her head and smiled.

“I don’t know, Yixing-ah. Perhaps both?” She let out a sigh and hugged him, laying her head against his chest. “But that doesn’t matter now, does it? I have you now, and you will never make me lonely the way he did. Promise me that, oppa.”

Yixing smiled and kissed the top of her head. “Of course, Chae. I promise.”

Chaerin closed her eyes, delighted by his response. She believed him and trusted him with all her heart. Yixing was the peaceful healing unicorn that cured her broken heart. She knew he would never break that promise.

But he did.

Yixing gradually got busier both in school and at home. Expectations and responsibilities bombarded his schedule so much that he barely had time to spend with Chaerin anymore. This saddened and disappointed Chaerin. She didn’t want it to be that way. Somehow, she couldn’t stop comparing Yixing with Hyunwoo.

One time, when she thought no one would hear her, she uttered, “I thought Yixing would be different. . . Maybe it’s just my fate to have useless boyfriends.”

But Yixing heard. And that broke his heart.

Chaerin didn’t care anymore, though. She stopped hoping that someday, somehow, he'll fulfill his promise of making it up for all the dates he missed, and other promises he failed to keep. She didn’t wanna cry for someone who made her believe that falling in love again was worth it.

Once again, a man made her cry. Once again, a man made her hope for something that she thought would last. Once again, she felt like she was waiting for nothing. And this would be the last time.

Little did she know that Yixing tried everything he could to make her happy. She was too blinded by expectations to see that, though. She was sick of his reasons and excuses. She was sick of not having him there.

Eventually, Yixing got tired of everything, too.

And so, on the 27th of March, he made a decision.

Today was supposed to be their first monthsary.

And yet, today was when he decided to end their relationship, too.

It was spring when Yixing suddenly disappeared.

It was spring when SkyUnicorn died.