A/N: I know its a little confusing, this chapter. But If you have some questions just ask away> I will answer it if its about the events that happened from Chapter 1 to 8.
I've also decided that this is gonna be until chapter 10. So it's just 2 more chapters to go. Kinda squeezed a lot of things in this chapter since I want to finish it with the remaining 3 chapters.
Anyway Let me just get this time to say THANK YOU TO YOU ALL, who supported this fanfic and for your continued love to Gyuri. hahahaha. I know this chapter was all over the place. Sorry about that. But Chapter 9 has better flow.

UNedited

Tears of the Moon
Chapter 08

Her feet were damp and cold inside her shoes, but it didn't matter to her. There were more things weighing in her mind that her cold and frozen feet.

She walked with as much care as she can muster, slowly and carefully. She walked through the damp and wet path. One wrong step and it would be very painful for her but she strived on. Each step she took echoed throughout the hallway.

The sound of her steps echoing was her only companion.

She walked with a lamp she held with her hand, it was her only source of light. The flickering lights danced and moved, lighting about two to three steps ahead of her. It was a hallway of darkness, creepy beyond belief yet this was the only way to get to her destination.

She started to hymn, to get over the edginess she was feeling. She walked and hymned, a little comforted, she didn't feel that much alone.

Yet worries still followed her.

One of her worries is her family, she somehow could not get her brother and sisters out of her mind. She was terribly anxious at what and where they were now. Knowing her brother, he would be running after her if he knew where her destination was. But even if he tried to find her, he will never be able to follow her inside the hallway. No one knew about it but her.

She knew that he would be angry and worried about her. But she prayed that he would listen to her request. A request she put in through a letter. A request that would make her less worried and more comforted for their safety.

She halted her steps and looked back to darkened path, 'Brother, please don't come looking for me anymore. Please...'

She sighed.

There were still many thing and many people to think about. But her family comes first and foremost.

She took a deep breath, turned her back from the entrance and continued to walk forward. Her decision was grounded and final, she was leaving everything behind. 

One step at a time in this journey, leaving everyone behind. She moved forward alone. 

'Alone, yes I needed to do it alone.' she thought knowing that this was her decision, her fate.

She had been walking for an hour when she finally reached the wall on her path. She stopped. She looked up at the ceiling and at the sides. It was a dead end as the lights flicker and dance against the tall and solid wall in the hallway.

She looked back from where she came from and only saw darkness. There was nothing go back to, she had to do this.

She looked at the wall and remembered what the dowager queen once told her when she first entered the palace, 'Gyuri, you are now the crown princess, and after that you will take my place as the queen. And with that will be responsibilities and secrets that no one can have but you...'

She remembered the queen showing her the path of the darkened hallway, 'this is the escaped route for the royals. The secret of this route will only be passed down from one queen to another. And I am giving you this information because I know that you will become queen...'

She grazed her hand at the thick and cold wall as she remembered the queen explain, 'This is a five feet thick wall that covers from ceiling to ground. Airtight and immovable. No one can open it and no one knows about it except the queen of the nation, me and in the future, you!'

She gently placed the lamp at the ground, she then held her hand towards the center of the wall, hearing the additional instruction, 'when need arises use this hallway. The key hole is in the center'

She slowly caressed the cold wall looking and feeling for the keyhole. She was moving her palm against the wall for minutes when finally she felt something, a little indentation, the key hole, 'oh there it is'

She pulled the key from her pocket. It felt so cold and heavy in her hands. It was such a small object yet its importance and meaning is very great. She gently placed it in as she continued to hear the queen's words, 'This is the key to this wall that will open this hallway. Only use it when in time of need.'

She looked at the wall with the key already placed in yet not fully in. 

She stayed standing and staring at the wall.

The great, thick and cold wall was the last block to her ultimate fate.

She stood staring at it. She stood procastinating. 

She didn't know how long it was that she stood frozen in place --- a couple of seconds, few minutes or an hour. All she knew was that her feet were cold and frozen in place while her hand was clutching her hands together, and her mind was elsewhere flying. 

She sighed, 'this is my fate'

She was determined yet she was still terrified. 

She had decided but she feared the uncertainty.

She knew what she needed to do but she was anxious beyond belief.

She was stoic form head to foot but inside she was shuddering not from the cold but from fear.

She really was scared and terrified. 

She held her hand against the wall again. Holding the key, she pushed the tiny key fully inside until she heard a very audible 'click.'

She held her breath as the click echoed through the empty hallway. Slowly she turned it to the right until the 2nd click came. 

She step back as slowly the wall came alive. It moved on its own.

The wall moving was making some echoing sounds then suddenly lights came on at the side of the hallway. It was a mechanism and the key was the one that started the opening and moving of the wall as well as the lighting up of the hallway. 

She stood in the middle of the hallway as the queen's last reminder came, 'this hallway will only be used by the queen when the palace is under siege. This passage is for the royalty to continue and preserve the line.'

It was ironic that the secret passage for escape is the passage she used to come back to the palace to.

It didn't take long before the wall finally opened up. Five feet thick wall opened in five minutes with just one key that will be put in on either side of the wall. 

She stood looking at the very familiar chamber where the secret passage led to. She walked slowly inside after picking up the lamp and pulling out the key from the side wall. The room felt cold even with the familiarity.

Her steps were making screeching noises against the wooden flat form. But it was drowned out by the wall which was suddenly closing again on its own when the key was removed.

Once fully inside the chamber, she looked around with only the light from her lamp as illumination. 

She stood in the silence and semi-darkened chamber.

The chamber was familiar yet imposing. It was the queen's chamber, her chamber.  She was back. She was again inside her haven, her prison 

She looked around and noticed that everything was the way she left it.  Her walls had the same design, all her furniture was placed as she had them. Everything was still hers. Even after five months everything stayed the same.

Everything was familiar yet also felt awkwardly unfamiliar.

She stood contemplating everything. Five months ago, when she had decided to leave this place to be free. And now after five months she was back inside. And now being inside again, she somehow felt uncomfortable yet also somewhat happy.

She stood in the middle of the chamber reliving the memories and calming herself for what was to come. Her decision that will be like a tidal wave of her life.

She stood in the middle of the chamber in all her regal glory. She took a deep breath thinking about everything, she was the queen, yes she escaped but she came back now.

"I am back…" she voiced out. Her voice echoed though the walls. 

"Why did you come back", came a voice out of nowhere. 

She had not felt him come in, too absorbed n her thoughts. She turned around and saw that it was from the now opened door, a silhouette.

A voice that was all too familiar. He stood just beyond the illumination of her lamp. And her heart skipped.

"Why are you here?" he continued to ask, she could not answer.

She stood there looking at his dark profile. It was too soon for anyone to see her inside the palace, especially him. She was not yet ready.

She looked around wanting to flee to hide but there was no one was except the both of them and nowhere to go

"Why are you back?”, his voice was low and gentle.

She could not answer. He always had that power over her, to render her speechless, but more so right now. She really felt out of balance, she was not expecting him and she did not understand why he somehow felt unfamiliar.

He walked forward, the light from the lamp now illuminating part of his face now.

"I...", she started to say, seeing his all too familiar face.

Five months, it had been five months since she last saw his face. But until right now, it still had the power to make her tremble.

He was but a meter away from her. Looking at her directly.

She felt anxious. She was out of sorts, 'What is he doing here?'

She looked at him, confused. 

She could no form any word, just silence

She could not move or act, she stood frozen in the semi-darkness

"Why?", he asked again.

His voice was just like she imagined it, gentle and contemplating, the voice of one of her better imaginations and reams where he loved her back.

She shook her head, she was getting out of balance from his nearness and his presence. Surely that was the reason she was hearing and feeling things like the unusual tenderness of his voice which was not really there.

He stood in front of her, still bigger than life, still consuming everything in her.

She stood unable to react outwardly yet imploding inside. She wanted to run. She wanted to ask him why, why he was there. She felt like asking who he was, surely he would not be that gentle with her. Surely she was just a figment of her imagination. She wanted to tell him to go away. She needed to be alone and think.

"Why?" he asked again walking toward her.

Silence and semi-darkness between them.

Then the tears. Tears flowed from her eyes, involuntary and uncontrollable.

Her heart breaking with just the sight of him.

"Why?" he asked again.

She did not understand what he was asking. She shook her head unwilling to answer now. Confused to answer now.

"Why did you come back?", he asked again.

She stood frozen, she could not answer now. She was not ready yet. Not ready to tell anyone much more him. The truth would be her condemnation. The truth will be her hell. 

She knew that she came back to confess everything but not in front of him. Never to him.

She heard him take a deep breath, his breathing strained. She didn't understand 

"Why, My queen?" his voice trembled.

She felt shock. He called her directly. Her legs were straining to stand. Strength was leaving her.

'Why would he be in her chamber?' she had planned everything so that it tomorrow she would show herself

She started to say "I….?"

But at the same time he called her name "Gyuri-ah"

She felt cold water poured to her, She shook her head hard.

‘What was happening’, she could not understand.

‘what was happening.’ 

"Who are you?" she asked now.

His face was the same, his voice familiar yet surely it could not be him. His voice was tender, caring and gentle. And he had called her name.

He didn;t answer and just asked again, "Gyuri-ah why did you come back here"

She took a deep breath and counted, she was imbalanced, surely he must be an illusion. ‘Yes an illusion, she is not real. A figment of my dreams’

"Go away?"  She closed her eyes willing him to disappear. He was creating havoc in her heart and mind.

He really is an illusion, “Please go away”

Not yet, she was not ready yet for him, even as an illusion. "Tonight is too soon. Please go away."

She knew it was the only time she can be honest, to an illusion.

"Why?” he asked again

She took a step back as she contemplated the illusion's question, 'why? well that is..'

She knew that she can always talk to her own illusion.

"..good question?" she spoke her last thoughts

"But why what? What are you asking... you how about you. You are not real, right? Surely I am sleeping" she asked her hand wringing together. She was scared and anxious.

No answer. He did not answer her.

She looked at him again and wanted to rationalize with him. She can never talk to the real person but she can talk with her version of him in her mind.

She took a deep breath and explained, "I came back because it's the right thing to do. Because I can't be the reason for the monarch to fall. I can't allow my father's evil deeds anymore. I can't live like the normal peasants. I am too used being queen. I want to be righteous. I don't want the people to curse me. I want to prove that I am a good queen… I…"

She nodded her head to put more emphasis to her conviction as he continued to stare at her, "I have so many reasons..."

"That's not the real truth.." he interrupted her

She laughed, her illusion was correct, those were her excuses. not her answer. 

"Why, do you know the reason why I came back..? you know me better than myself" she was getting scared, how could he know.

‘of course he knows he is an illusion, he is made by my mind so he knows what I really feel.’ She rationalized.

No answer again. He did not answer, he just stared at her.

She took a deep breath and truthfully now answered, "… because this is my fate. This has been my destiny."

He shook her head at her and stated, "There is no such thing as fate. Nothing is predestined. We can still decide for ourselves. you can still decide for your life."

She shook her head and explained, "this is my fate, this chamber, this is me. I am the queen…"

He shook her head again, and gently with sadness in his voice explained, "This chamber has been your prison, is that really your fate? You can still decide otherwise..."

She smiled and closed her eyes, ‘this is my prison and haven.’ 

"Why come back?" he asked again

She opened her eyes and now the silhouette was but a feet away.

"You were happy outside, right?" he told her with emphasis and underlying concern.

She nodded. yes she was happy in the orphanage.

"You were free while you were out of the palace, right?" he asked her with tenderness 

Again she nodded. Yes she was free, free from the palace, her father and the king.

"You laughed outside?" he told her and he smiled

She smiled back, knowing that her laughter was but half forced half confusion.

"You Lived" he said with such gentleness.

She looked at him. She stared at the illusion before her. Tears started to fall at the realization that If only the King was as gentle and tender as the illusion before her she would not ask for anything more.

"You are right," She confirmed.

Tears continued to fall, "I was happy, I was free, I laughed and lived..”

"So why did you come back ...”, he asked with desperation in his voice. She looked at his face and he looked like he was in pain, her eyes were also tearing up like her.

She then felt his hands on her cheeks as he said, "you should never have come back. You should have lived that way forever.”

She stared at him through her tears and saw the he was trying to hold back his tears as he continued, "….you should have lived with freedom, happiness and with laughter…"

His voice cracked as he continued, "What am I going to do now. What am I going to do with you?"

She was getting confused, what was he asking. Even as an illusion he was still an enigma, asking weird questions.

"What do you mean?" she asked now, confused  and crying.

"What am I going to do with you, gyuri-ah" Then she felt both his cold hands cup her face.

She felt the jolt, she stared at him fully now. He was not an illusion, it was really him

"Your majesty.." her voice trembled.

"Gyuri-ah, what am I going to do?", he asked like a lost boy

"Your majesty...", she did not know what to say. She was as lost as him,

She stood and stared at him still unbelieving, ‘what is happening, what’s happening with him. Who is he?’

"LEAVE.." his voice shook with such force.

"LEAVE NOW", He ordered again yet his voice still trembled.

She didn’t understand him, ‘what is he saying?’

"Leave now before anyone finds out that you are back.", he still held her face in his hands, tenderly. He caressed her finger in her cheeks, gently.

She was lost and confused yet she still managed to shake her head. She was not going run away now.

"Please gyuri-ah.. Please leave", he begged. His voice shook.

She was saddened thinking, ‘your majesty, you really must love his current concubine for you to beg me to leave like this.’

She stood regally and told him, "Don't worry your majesty, I will not get in the way of you and your concubine. I will accept the punishment that was due my crime.”

He shook his head strongly and pleaded with her, "NO! There would be no punishment. Just leave now and live.."

She smiled now. "NO I can't. I am sorry for everything, your majesty. I came here to right a wrong and to make sure everything is as what the law is.”

Her tears continued to flow as she stated, “You can punish me but least spare my clan, they didn't know about my plans.

Suddenly the ground trembled. The King’s and the Queens attendants came before the door. Her chamber was surrounded.

He shook his head, pleading with her silently tears continued to flow through is eyes as she held her tenderly, “No please, I can’t. I can’t have you punished… I can’t Gyuri-ah. They will ask for your head, I can’t Gyuri. I can’t”

She wiped her own tears and shook her head, “I will ask a favor, from your majesty, my first, last and only favor. Please spare my siblings…..

He shook his head as she continued, “That’s the only thing I wish..” 

The lights were the room, her attendants as well as soldiers at arms also came inside.

She stood at the middle of her chamber with the king beside her. tears were flowing as she looked at him.

His hands slipped from his face and was limp at his side. She looked at him, his tears still flowed from his eyes as she stated, "You should have stayed out of this damned placed and never come back” as he turned his back out from her room.