It's been a few weeks now and Junhong keeps hanging around me. At first I genuinely didn't like it. It was like having some annoying kid follow me wherever I go and making me do things I don't want to do. But now, I sort of got used to it and to be honest, I sort of like it too -although I don't show it. He's the only one who's ever come to me and befriended me like this, and made me slightly more social with others too. He really is something, Junhong.

A new month started with me in the station, waititing for Junhong. Yes, we do that now. We walk to school together. In the beginning we didn't though. We just went to school and sometimes we see each other in the station, sometimes not. I used to get so annoyed everytime we did, cause he would never stop jabbering about skateboards and stuff like that. But then the the meetings became more frequent. So frequent that whenever we didn't meet, I changed from feeling glad to feeling lonely. Then I realized that having company, even just for a little while like the short walk fron the station to the school, is better than being alone in the mornings and just listening to music while walking the road leading to the school with other kids around all in groups or pairs of friends or couples. He actually doesn't mind that I rarely responds to what he says, I usually just nod or hum to signal him that I'm listening. Again, even if I don't show it, doesn't mean I don't like it. I like him jabbering on about his sophmore life and laughing here and there. It's nice to have a little color in your black and white world.

"Annyeonghaseo!" Junhong greeted me with a robotic voice he made and waved at me. I smiled a little and greeted him back and we both started walking towards the school. 

"Have you eaten breakfast yet, hyung?" asked Junhong. 

This was another thing about him. He always asks if I've eaten, or reminds me not to stay up or be out too late and stuff like that. He cares about my health, for some reason. Although I do feel that I, being the older one, should be the one asking him these things and caring about him. Nevertheless, he cares about me. Like heck, even my own mother doesn't concern much about me, she's not even awake when I go to school and never at home when I arrive from school. She goes to work at a place I do not know of, but what I do know is that she's a businesswoman who gets quite a hefty profit. She doesn't even make me food and rarely eats at home. I always buy the ingredients, cook, and eat by myself. No one ever cared about me. But then, here's Junhong. A kid I've only known for weeks and he cares more about me than my mother. Again, at first I didn't like it and found it very highly annoying, but after realizing that he was possibly the only one on this planet who gave a damn about me, I felt slightly touched and l decided to let him be.

"Yeah." I replied. He smiled at my answer, then continued on with his usual morning blabber. 

I didn't know why, but today, when I saw him smile like he always does,

I felt a weird warmness in my heart.

A few weeks eventually turned into a few months. Around three months to be exact. And those months are filled with me and Junhong becoming even closer together. We always eat lunch together, we play football quite frequently too, along with some other friends of ours-well, his mostly. But anyways, I've been interacting with others a little more too, thanks to Junhong. He tells me to just go for it and be myself around them, like I am with him. I didn't want to the first time he suggested that, but he kept persuading me and told me to make more friends and that it'll be better for me. So the few classmates I hung out with from before, I started talking to them a bit more and got closer to them too, just a tiny bit. 

Junhong comes over too now sometimes, I almost always have the house empty anyways. We usually play video games or watch movies. I remember when he came over for the first time and said that my house was huge and looked at it doe-eyed. 

"Calm down kid. All of this is nothing." I told him.

"What do you mean hyung? It's amazing! You've got to be really rich." He said.

"Wealth isn't everything Junhong." I sighed while I placed down my bag by the couch in the living room.

"Well, yeah." He shrugged, then threw his body down at the couch and the tv. I liked how he already made himself feel like he's at home the first time he set foot in my place. He didn't act all awkward and all that and just went and did what he wanted to do. Some people may find this annoying, but I actually found it okay since it didn't cause any awkwardness whatsoever so it was relaxing. 

"You don't always find happiness or company in wealth. Just like what you see right here." I continued as I grabbed a carton of juice from the fridge and poured it into two glasses.

"Eh? Now that I think about it, it is really quiet. Where are your parents, hyung?" asked Junhong.

"Mom's at work. Like she always is until past my sleeping time. No matter how late I sleep." I replied. 

"You once slept at 2.30AM hyung." he recalled. He knows because there was this one time that I really couldn't sleep, so I decided to text him out of boredom. Even though I did, of course, expect him to be asleep. But then he texted back and it turned out that he actually was asleep. I told him to go back to sleep and that I just texted for no reason, but he  refused and ended up keeping me company till I actually did feel tired and fell asleep at 2.30AM. That was really nice of him. He made my heart warm up again.

"Yeah. She wasn't home yet." I replied, bringing the glasses and putting them down on the coffee tabe in front of us as I sat I joined him and sat beside him on the couch. "She's never awake when I leave for school too, and barely there on weekends due to meetings and stuff like that. So I barely see her at all."

"Whoa..." he trailed off in disbelief. "What about your dad?" 

"Left. Along with my twin brother too. They're in the States now." I responded as i flicked through channels.

"Ah.. I'm really sorry to hear that hyung.." he said, looking down at his glass of juice. I just shrugged at it and said it was nothing to worry or be sorry about. "But by the way, you have a twin brother?" he asked, eyes full of curiosity.

I nodded. "He was actually my only childhood best friend. I barely had any in school cause they were all just brats who used swear words at the age of 7, so I just played with my bro whenever I could instead of those other kids." I let out a big sigh and rested my hands on the head of the couch. "But he's gone now so.."

"Oh wow..." he paused then looked to the tv screen. I didn't make a big deal of it nor did it trigger any old unwanted memories or feelings, cause I was just fine with it. I was used to it. Junhong then suddenly turned back to face me and looked at me straight in the eye with a detirmined look on his face and said, 

"I'll stay by your side, hyung. I'll be your friend. Whenever you need me I'll be here for you. I will never make you feel alone again."

I stared at him.

My heart is did weird uncontrollable beats which I had no explanation to why it did so. 

I looked back at the screen. So did he.

"Thank you." I said silently.

And in the corner of my eye,

I saw his lips curve up from the side.

With even more months that have passed, Junhong's my closest friend now. I guess most people could say, best friends. We're best friends. It's what we are we're supposed to be. But nowadays, I start feeling things when I'm near him. Like I have someone to talk to that won't judge me and will stick with me no matter what I do. The warmness I've been feeling inside my heart, it's becoming more and more frequent. I can't really explain what it is. I am quite scared of it though for some reason.

"Yo hyung!" He shouted from the field, smiling and waving. "15 more minutes, ok?" I nodded at him and he continued playing.

My eyes always search for him too. Sometimes -like right now- I wait for him on the bleachers as he has the football team practice on the field, and every single time, he is the only one I see. I don't even know why, I mean, cause there were my other friends too in the team. But still, wherever there's Junhong, everyone else seems to dissapear. They don't exist anymore. Like they're just a dream.

It's weird.

Anyways, I took out my sketchbook and started drawing on it. I started to draw again now. I've always been drawing before, but it's been a really long while since I have, so I just wanted to begin again. I usually draw what's on my mind or what I'm feeling or sometimes just some completely meaningless and random things. I also try to draw landscapes or still life, but I'm still trying to master that. To be honest, who ecnouraged me to start drawing again was none other than, of course, Junhong. It was when he asked me what I wanted to become when I grow up.

"A doctor." I said.

"No hyung." He said. Which made me make a confused face. "I meant what you want to be. Not what your mom, or other people want you to be." 

This kid always knows how to make me speechless.

It still amazes me how Junhong can always read my mind as well as how I feel without me even making any signs of anything. He's been like this even from when we first met. He always knows exactly what I'm thinking about many things. Not everything, but a lot of things. 

"Well, then um.." I trailed off. "an artist." 

I expected him to be really shocked and bombard be with word saying I shouldn't be that and that it's not a known profession and all that bull. Cause that's what every single person I've told this to reacts like. But then again, Junhong isn't just anyone.

"Wow that's amazing hyung." He said. I looked at him sheepishly. "You really think so?" I asked

"Of course hyung, out of all the people I've ever asked, nobody ever said your answer. They all just want mainstream jobs." He replied. "But why don't I ever see you draw or paint, hyung?"

I let out a big sigh and put my hands behind my head. "I used to. A whole lot actually. But yeah well, it's what I want, but you guessed right my mom and basically everyone says it's not worth becoming and that I should become a doctor or something." I stared at the ground.

"Screw them then." He spat out. "I think achieving what you really want is the most successful you're ever gonna get. If you're doing something and it makes you happy, continue doing it, cause you're gonna give it your full potential. It's better than becoming something you don't want and end up being stressed about it cause you're not happy with what you've chosen."

I looked into his eyes and stared at the orbs that were looking straight back into mine, and smiled. 

"Promise me you'll start drawing again hyung?" He asked. I nodded. Still staring into his eyes with a wide smile plastered on my face.

His eyes looked really beautiful that day.

Junhong finished his football practice and was dismissed by his trainer. He picked up his bag and headed over to me immedieately. When he reached me, he leaned over so he could see what I was drawing, which was a landscape of a river with trees and clouds sketched all over it. 

"You're getting better and better hyung!" He complimented "It's really good."

"Thank you Junhong." I smiled at him, to which he smiled back. I then closed the book and stuffed it inside mmy bag. "Let's go home."

On our way to the station it started raining. At first it was only light rain, but it turned to heavy downpour with neither of us carrying an umbrella. I was really ticked off at this, but then I saw Junhong, who did nothing but laugh at the situation. He started opening his arms and spun around and around in the middle of the empty school neighborhood road like a little child. I just looked at him in disbelief, but found myself chuckling silently at his childlike behavior. He gestured me to come join him, but I just refused and he continued to spin and dance in the pouring rain while I watched and waited for him to be done. But today, as I watched him, it triggered something inside me. 

No.

It triggered everything inside me.

I felt my heart doing those fast beats again and my stomach felt like it was getting weird lumps in them. I can't explain it. I'm not sure how to.

My mind is a huge mess. My heart is a self-controlling son of a . My stomach has ginormous spiders in them. But my eyes,

My eyes look at him.

Him and his beautiful features. His smile that lights up every dark day that I stopped having ever since he became my friend. His bright and gleaming eyes that never show anything else but sincirety and truth. His tall height that exceeds mine that makes him a giant 5 year old. His personality that changes from adorable little child to mature and deep adult in 10 seconds. Everything. It's everything about him. He is the only person who understands me. He is the only person who befriended me. He is the only person that matters to me right now. He is, Choi Junhong.

I can't even explain why I'm like this. I don't know why I feel like this. I don't know the reasons why I have these emotions towards him. I don't get it. I don't understand. I just don't-

Bull.

Who am I kidding. Of course I get it. Of course I know exactly why I'm like this. I know why I have these emotions. I know why I have been feeling what I've been feeling for the whole time I've been with Junhong. I know exactly what this is.

And I am terrified of it.