At this particular moment, when they said their first words to each other, time has frozen. Everything stopped, just like the whole world was holding its breath and waiting for the next move. But nothing had happened. They both stood, silent, only looking with a whole bunch of different emotions written all over their faces.

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SeungHyun was terrified, excited, happy and shocked. All at once. He couldn’t stop looking at this beautiful person in front of him. He felt like a tired traveler, who after a really long walk through the desert, found a deep well with clean water and just couldn’t stop drinking more and more. His thirst seems endless. Just like that, he stood and was taking all he could get with his eyes. Every, even little detail, move, part. Even the way, how the air from the air-conditioner was scattering these soft white locks. At this moment, he suddenly felt so small in front of Daesung. Just like he had discovered, the great secret about world’s most precious treasure. Only the sight of his little Angel, made him forget about all this pain, suffering and years spent alone. It was just like another normal day, when he would get back from work and be welcomed by Dae with so much love and tenderness.

Only the last part wasn’t entirely true. Because for the whole time Daesung didn’t look at him even once. He fixed his eyes on a red carpet laying peacefully under his feet. At first, SeungHyun thought that maybe he was shocked and felt the same emotional turmoil as he, but after a while he realized that he was rather avoiding his gaze. It only filled him with terror. But right now his mind was blank and he was completely relying on his shaking heart.

With trembling hands, SeungHyun raised Daesung’s head. What he saw, made his heart stop beating for a few seconds. He was crying. Silently, big, crystal tears were falling through his puffed cheeks and landing on a T-shirt in colour of deep sea. He was at loss as to what to do. Did only the sight of him or sound of his voice break this Angel’s heart so easily?

When he finally decided to speak up, the sticky silence was cut by his Angel himself. Daesung turned his head, pulling his cheeks out of warm and long fingers of the other’s and after a few deep and shaky breaths, nearly whispering he said:

-Please hyung… Please… GO…

The last word, he said loud and clear. Just like he thought that maybe SeungHyun won’t understand the meaning of it. He, on the other hand, couldn’t produce a word. He was standing there motionless, waiting for his brain and senses to cooperate with each other. This process was taking a little too long, so after an another long silence, Daesung decided to just lock the door, right in front of him, in some desperate way to escape all this trouble.

And it was an impulse for SeungHyun to finally show that he is still alive and the most important: that they didn’t finish their talk and he won’t let all this happen again. He won’t let him leave him again. Without the word of explanation. Not this time. Or EVER.

At the last moment, he managed to hold the doors and slip his foot into the crack between them. NOT THIS TIME…

-Wait! Dae, please… Just talk with me. Please, let me explain. I just want to-

-No.-It was harsh and unpleasant. For SeungHyun it was like somebody was scratching nails on a blackboard. But even hearing this word, he couldn’t ignore these wet tears still falling from Daesung’s eyes and the trembling of his own lips.-We can’t talk. I’m sorry. I don’t want to talk. I don’t have anything to tell you. Now please… Go… Please, SeungHyun…

Sound of his own name, made his heart aching and shaking uncontrollably in his chest. With one smooth move he opened the doors, he stormed into this hotel room and without a single word, he pulled Dae into tight embrace. After a moment of pure shock and surprise, when Daesung’s body was numb, he came to his senses and started to struggle to free himself from these strong arms.

From this warm chest.

From this intoxicating scent.

From this soft voice.

From these deep and piercing orbs.

From this feeling of safety and peace of mind.

From this pain in his heart.

From his broken dream of happiness.

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-Let me go! SeungHyun! I’m not joking, LET ME GO! 

But SeungHyun only tighten his grip. He wasn’t going to let the other go. Even if it means standing there until he will lose all his straight. Even if it means waiting all life for this.

After more struggling and cursing, which seemed to prove ineffective, Daesung finally gave up, letting himself melt into this tight pillow of love. Tears started to flow even faster,  landing not on his shirt but soaking Tabi’s blue shirt all the way down. But the other men couldn’t care less right now. For him, it was a brief moment of true peace and happiness. And he was going to take as much as he could from it.

Some more minutes passed and Dae stopped shaking and crying. He knew that he couldn’t just give up on his resolution. He didn’t want to hurt SeungHyun even more. He knew that he won’t ever forgive himself what he had done to him and what he was responsible for. Daesung reluctantly move away from SeungHyun’s welcoming arms and with sad and soft voice said:

-You really should go, hyung. It will be better for me, for you, for us…

SeungHyun couldn’t believe his ears. It wasn’t like he expected Dae to see him and just jump into his arms, but… Talking? Was it too much after all they’ve been through? Was it weird that he was just trying to finally put all these pieces together?

-I know what is the best for me, Daesung ah. And all I know is that I want to just talk to you. That I want to know the reason why. But… If you don’t want to talk about this, then… Please, just let me stay by your side. Like nothing had happened. Like we were together, like we were happy for the whole time. Like…-He was talking faster and faster, words spilling from his mouth like a shooting gun. His breath became shallow, his chest raising up and down on an endless loop.-Like you still loved me. Like I…

Power from these words was washing Daesung like he was standing under a waterfall. He was always aware of the other’s strong feelings, but he couldn’t believe that after all this time SeungHyun still was so devoted to him. That he didn’t hate him. That he just simply didn’t give up. Like he did.

On his plans.

On his dreams.

On his life.

On his love.

Terrified, but mostly just shocked and confused, Daesung began to slowly step away. But unfortunately, he didn’t realize that there was a little coffee table behind him. When he felt his knees hitting the wooden surface, it was too late. He heard his own surprised gasp and SeungHyun shouting his name. He closed his eyes, preparing for the hard fall. Nothing like this never has happened. Instead of tough surface of his floor, he felt pair of strong arms wrapped protectively around him. Even after this long separation, he couldn’t forget how it was to be in these arms, when the whole word seemed so small, so meaningless and only that mattered were their soft breaths and this delicious warm radiating from their bodies. For the second time this evening, Daesung allowed himself to be swept away with in this little piece of heaven. Even if it was going to be death for him later.

SeungHyun on the other hand was really scared. He knew that this kind of fall could finished really badly, with some broken bones, cuts and bruises. But what was worrying him the most was how Dae didn’t see this table? Of course it was behind him, but still it was in his sight. Was he so horrified that he didn’t notice it, even when it was in front of his eyes?  His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden burst of tears. He looked at Daesung, looking for some serious injuries, but everything seemed alright.

-Is everything ok?

With his long, slim fingers SeungHyun started to trace random patterns on these beautiful cheeks in order to calm him. It seemed to do the trick, because Angel just sighed and after a long break, he said softly:

-I’m okay. Thank you, Tabi…

It was it. This moment when everything shattered into tiny pieces. Of course, SeungHyun let people called him that way all the time, since it was his nickname from high school, but the way how Dae said it… It was a whole different story.

Without ever noticing, Daesung felt himself being carried in the bridal style to his bedroom and gently laid on a soft sheets. After a moment of coldness, when SeungHyun left him to bring something from his living room, he was wrapped into warm blanket and then into some firm embrace. He snuggled into Tabi’s body and laid his hands on this broad chest, while the other was gently his back, sending shivers running down and up his spine. He knew that what he was doing was dangerous and will surely end bad, but he just couldn’t stay away from him. Not from HIM…

For Daesung all this situation was very weird. He was surprised with his body and mind. After some accidents, he couldn’t stand somebody’s touch. Even occasional brushing with some strange hand during his trip in the bus was a real nightmare for him. But with SeungHyun… With him his body and mind just gave up and let his heart decide about his actions. Right now he was too weak and tired to try to run away. He just wanted to stay like this. Even when it was only temporary and all that was waiting for him afterwards were only pain and tears.

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While they were laying in silence disturbed only by an occasional sound of car passing nearby, Daesung started to think about SeungHyun’s words. He was right. He owned him some explanation. Some, even very general things about what had happened. Even when he decided to finally tell him the truth, he didn’t know how to start and what to say. So he just simply put his head on Tabi’s chest, near his heart, praying that maybe the other will understand that he is ready to talk.

There was a little, awkward silence between them and then SeungHyun’s question cut the air like a knife.

-Why didn’t you notice this little table?- His head was spinning, he had so many questions and doubts in his mind, even when he was finally holding his Angel in arms again. But this one just couldn’t leave him, holding him back from just falling into this beautiful world of peace, love, calm and pure and real happiness.

Daesung expected this question. He was sure that SeungHyun will notice his little secret quickly. That’s why he wanted Tabi to leave immediately, before he would start to guess what’s going on. After a few deep breaths, he finally spoke:

-I will tell you everything in the right order, ok? You deserve it. You deserve to know the truth.

SeungHyun hold his breath. Even when he was waiting for this moment for a time that felt like a lifetime, in this second he found himself totally unprepared for this situation. Daesung didn’t let him think for too long, when he spoke again:

-You know that if you hadn’t said my name, when I had opened the door, I wouldn’t have recognized you?

It was a simple question, yet it made SeungHyun unpleasantly tense and nervous.

-How come? Did I change so much since our last meeting?

-The thing is that… I just don’t know…

Another silence fell between them. Neither of them didn’t know what to say. SeungHyun didn’t understand a little thing from it-Daesung didn’t know how to explain everything. Instead, SeungHyun buried his face in his Angel’s hairs and after a little kiss that he left there, he softly asked:

-I don’t understand anything. How couldn’t you recognize me? Did you forget about me? Or… You didn’t see me-

SeungHyun stopped talking and quickly pulled away to look at Daesung’s face. He was filled with pure terror.

-That’s why you didn’t see the table…

-What are you wearing tonight? I know it’s something fancy, but I hope you will tell me more… Hyung?

The right thing to do was probably to say: But you can see it, why are you even asking, just look. But SeungHyun understood and it only made his heart stopped beating and his thoughts running with the speed of light.

-You are… BLIND?

As simple as the question was the answer.

-Yes, I’m. Right now I’m completely blind. I can’t see anything. NOTHING.

-But… How… I mean… You were healthy and… What had happened?

-You want to know why I leave you, right?

-What?-SeungHyun was completely shocked with this sudden change of subject.-Yes, but-

-I will tell you, but you have to promise, that after you will hear that you will leave and you won’t ever see me again.

-What?! But Dae… I can’t promise that! NEVER!

With that words SeungHyun hugged Daesung even tighter, praying that he won’t notice tears silently rolling down his cheeks.

-I can’t let you go, Angel. I can’t. I’m sorry. Not know when I’m able to hold you again.

-Even after what I did to you? After what you had to go through because of me?

-I know that you had reason for that… That you wouldn’t just hurt me without any reason behind it. And besides that… Nothing will ever change the way I feel about you. Do you hear me? NOTHING.

These words made Daesung gasp. His heart was beating like crazy. But his head was telling him that after all, he didn’t deserve this kind of treatment. SeungHyun should punish him, scream, shout, beat him. Not telling him about his undying love and commitment. He didn’t deserve that. But that’s why he decided to tell him the truth, because SeungHyun deserve that more than anyone in this world. He was too good and too perfect, while Daesung was all too human.

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-I left you… Because of my father.-There was a long break between this and his next words. SeungHyun knew that situation between Dae and his father has always been rough and that’s why even talking about it was really hard for him. So instead of saying anything Tabi squeezed him tighter, hoping that Dae would understand his silent support. It worked, because Daesung started talking again.-He… My father… He found out about us. You know, how he was… Always so conservative, so religious. He told me to finish it immediately. I thought that he would rather curse me or throw me away from our family, but I think that at the end his pride couldn’t take this fact that his son was gay. For him I was dirty and disgusting, but he saw a way to save me from endless hell. But when I said I won’t ever give up on us, he… He said that in this case… He would destroy you. You carrier…. Your family… Your friends… And I was so desperate to save you from pain… I didn’t want you to be hurt in any way, but… I thought that this was the best way and…

Daesung started to crying so loud, that SeungHyun was afraid that maybe their neighbours from different rooms would come here to check if everything is okay. He started to rock Dae in his arms, humming his favorite song, the same one that he had heard when he first met his Angel. And again it was like he knew all these buttons on Daesung’s mind and body. His method worked perfectly, calming him and allowing him only to shed silent tears.

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After such a long time, some things started to make sense. SeungHyun knew that Dae’s father was the owner of the biggest publishing houses in the whole country. And in his field, he was one of the most powerful persons in there. That’s also explained his problems when he started work, strange gossips about him and the sudden change of his future boss’s mind maybe not to hire him. Still, he couldn’t be mad at Daesung. He was trying to save him. He did it because of love, not hate or anger like he was previously thinking.

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-I..I…I thought that maybe… I will save you that way… But leaving you was the most difficult thing on the world. I was coming back to our apartment multiple times, before I finally found my strength to leave you… I was hoping that I will go to my father, talk to him and when you will be saved… I thought that maybe… Just maybe I will convince him… But he turned out to be merciless and brutal. When my mother died… He changed.. But I didn’t know he became a monster. When I came back home, he hit me and told me all these things I wouldn’t like to hear from anyone, especially my own father… He said I can’t leave this house, before… Before I became “normal” again… He literally locked me in our house! He take my phone, but I managed to steal it. I wanted to contact you, explain everything, but the only number that I could find, after my father tried to break my phone, it was Jiyong’s. I knew that I hurt you… But I was so desperate to contact with you.. To make sure you are alright. Because with that knowledge, I could bear everything… After that he took my phone, but every day I was trying to sneak to his room and his computer and send even one e-mail. And then… He found out… I was left alone… I really tried to contact you, but…-Daesung took one deep breath. SeungHyung could tell that he was exhausted, but he had to hear the whole story.-One day I finally left my house. I knew that I have to find you. But I was so nervous, so terrified that my father will find me or you or you won’t be alright that… I was in the car accident…

-W-what?

-This is how I became blind. Shattered glass from my car’s window got into my eye and… After I left hospital, I decided that I have to be healthy and then I could find you. I didn’t want to be a problem for you. I didn’t want to hurt you even more. Not anymore… For this whole time I was travelling, looking for a cure, for a doctor that will have courage to operate me. Because the chances of success were really low so everybody was like: Hey, you’ve got to be reconciled to this situation! But I… I … I came here, because I’ve got a appointment with a famous eye specialist. I hope she will help me… But after all I just want you to know… That I’m sorry. Sorry for making you cry. Sorry for breaking your heart. Sorry for making you so miserable. I know that there aren’t any words in this word that can be enough to erase your pain and horrible memories. But I’m… I’m so sorry. For everything. Even for that, that I was born… I never, NEVER forgive myself for what I’d done to you. I’m-

-Stop. Please, stop. Now, come here.

SeungHyun laid Daesung on the soft pillows and a moment later he hugged him tightly from behind. He didn’t care about anything right now. Right now he didn’t want to think about it. He just wanted to hold him like this. Like everything was alright. Like the world doesn’t exist right now. He was softly rubbing Daesung’s back until he finally stopped crying and calmed a little. He was still whispering: “I’m sorry”, even when Tabi kissed his head and placed his right hand over his Angel’s heart. For him, he was still an Angel. Still perfect. He still loved him and wanted to be with him. But right now, they were too tired and too scared to think about the future. So they’ve just fallen asleep, wrapped in each other arms, not expecting that the real storm is still waiting to strike at the most unexpected moment. 

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Hey, it's Arvena again! :3 I'm really sorry for making you wait for it for such a looong time, but my school is literally K-I-L-L-I-N-G ME :(

I hope you like this chapter! :) And I also hope that everything is more clear right now... Daesung was just trying to protect his beloved from his father :( On the side note, I'm really sad that some parents can't accept their children the way they are.... I mean, I know it's hard, but how can you hate your own child for something like that?

Ok, enough talking! :D As always, please tell me what you think in the comment section BELOW! :) There are a lot of problems comming in Dae and SeungHyun life. Do you want to hear about them? Do you want to know if they will manage to overcome them?

Again, thank everybody for support! I'm totally suprised that you like my story! I LOVE YOU ALL! <3

P.S. I'm toootally dead after ToDae in Singapure! I've watched it like a thousand times and every time I'm screaming like crazy! :D Can my life become better than this?! ;) Just marry and have beautiful children already! :P