Sulli's Point of View

Is it good to know, when death will overtake you?  Isn’t it better to live in non-acquaintance till the end of your life? Like living without worrying of anything like deadly diseases…

I prefer such way of living. But the choice isn’t up to me; it’s in my parents, who persistently want to save my life…

What about my choice?... I prefer to pretend that everything is okay. I want to live happily for all the time that is left in me.

Today I’m moving to Seoul from Busan with my family. I think it is a great opportunity to do sightseeing but of course, if they are going to allow me and if we are not going to be in the hospital all around the clock.

The only reason why we’ve moved here is just because of my disease. It isn’t the first time when we change our residence. You see, I have leukemia , cancer of the blood. Doctors have diagnosed this when I was fifteen. Since then, my life was turned upside down.

Also, I’ve already been through a lot of therapies, but all of them were useless, because it keeps comeback. So, I’m not sure, that another one will help.

Unlike everybody else, I don’t think of this like something horrible…It just reminds me to be strong and treasure everything in my life.

We came to Seoul by train. To be honest, it’s more interesting, than plane. I could take a lot of funny pictures with my parents; also I could see the beautiful panorama outside the window.

Seoul is really a fascinating place…

When we finally came to our new house...

“Sulli, you have to rest a bit”. My mother begins again. She thinks that I’m too weak for helping her. But, we’re just sorting out our stuffs, which were transported from our old house in Busan. How she’s going to clean up such a big house all by herself?.

“I’m okay, mum,” I smiled, continuing what I’m doing.

My mother looked at me for a short time and then gave up. After finishing, I went to my new room. It’s in the second floor, simple decorated, but very cozy. First thing I do is just plopped down on the bed. I’m so tired after moving up and cleaning the house.

“Ehm… Tomorrow I’ll go to the hospital. It’s so …,” In that moment the door was opened and my mother came inside my room.

“Are you busy?” She asked as if she didn’t know that I’m free. What can I do here?

“Yes”. I answered with a smile.

My mother looks worried maybe because of my condition. I will have my check-up tomorrow morning. How can they keep up my medication? It’s just a waste of money. Sometimes it seems to me that she and dad suffer more than I do.

“Sulli~a, everything will be ok! We can defeat this disease. You have to be strong”. She hugged me, but I could see the tears in her eyes.

“I’m not such a weak person as you think, I know that everything will be ok.” I smiled softly and wiped her tears with my fingertips.

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