Derping with the Enemy (1/2)
Adventures of the Derp Squad
Chanyeol was staring lovingly into his boyfriend's eyes as they both drank from their shared milkshake. Well, he tried to at least because Baekhyun had his eyes shut tightly as he sipped the pungent milkshake. "You don't like the milkshake baby?" Chanyeol asked his boyfriend after the latter vomited on the floor.
"Chanyeol, this wasn't a good idea. You wanted Piña Colada and I wanted Double Fudge Brownie Chocolate Chip with Peanut Butter Cups and Cookie Dough with extra fudgey caramel over my strawberry flavored whipped cream with cinnamon and cheddar cheese shavings sprinkled on top. Mixing them together was a terrible idea."
Chanyeol shook his head uncontrollably resembling a 5 year old. "No! We are so compatible! Don't you see? Our favorite flavors mix very well together, I absolutely love this milkshake! This was a test of our love, and we passed."
Baekhyun wasn't listening, he was too busy puking up the milkshake on the tiled floor. Chanyeol rested his head on his hand and sighed dreamingly as he watched his gorgeous boyfriend. "I wouldn't trade any other moment for this one. Would you Baekie?" Chanyeol took Baekhyun's grunt as a 'no' and continued on, "I love being with you. You make me the happiest person alive. I would never ever leave you." He sighed with a big old grin on his face until he felt his pager vibrate. "Whoops! Looks like I'm going to have to leave you! I gotta run!" Chanyeol jumped off his seat and ran out the door before Baekhyun finally wiped his mouth with his sleeve and sat up straight. "So where were we? Chanyeol?" Then the smell of the milkshake filled his nostrils and he couldn't hold back anymore puke.
By the time Chanyeol made it to his parent's backyard, Sehun and Kyungsoo were already waiting for him outside, pacing back and forth biting their nails. "Am I late? What's the big emergency?!" Chanyeol exclaimed as neither of them acknowledged him. "Kyungsoo!" Chanyeol slapped the Derp.
"This is bad." Was all Kyungsoo could muster out as he stared off into space not even looking into Chanyeol's eyes when the taller griped his shirt's collar.
"I-I...don't know how we can fix this." Sehun whispered as he shook his head and fell to his knees. "How could we let Suho down like this?!"
"Derp Squad! I'm getting anxious here! What has EXO-M done this time?! Answer me! What's going on?"
Sehun hit his head over and over as he whispered out, "You must go talk to Suho. This is our biggest dilemma yet..." And with that Chanyeol climbed up the treehouse and down the secret secret tunnel into their other secret secret hideout.
"Leader Suho?" Chanyeol ran to the 10 inch TV placed on the wall. Suho was on the screen massaging his temples from thinking too much. "Chanyeol..."
"Suho! What is going on?! Did someone die? Is someone about to? Is someone dearly beloved being held hostage?!" Chanyeol was clenching his heart from the thought.
"No...it's...the end of the world!" Suho bursted into tears as he held up two different shirts hanging on hangers. "I have a date tonight and I don't know what to wear! Sehun and Kyungsoo don't know what I should pick either! You see, this shirt has a unicorn on it...but this shirt! It has two cool orange and turquoise ninjas riding horses as they shoot lasers with their laser guns at each other!!"
...*awkward silence*...
Chanyeol stared expressionless. "You mean I left my date with Baekie, ran all across town, got hit by a car then got up to be hit by another car, to stand here and be told that the biggest emergency was that you didn't know what shirt to wear on your date tonight?"
"Yes"
...*awkward silence*...
"SUHO!" Chanyeol yelled angrily. "WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME EARLIER?! This is so freaking hard! The unicorn is so freaking cute but OMG laser gunned ninjas!! I could have cancelled my date with Baekhyun altogether!" He slumped down on his seat and continued to stare at both T-shirts.
After twenty minutes of them both contemplating which shirt Suho should go with, Kyungsoo and Sehun entered the secret secret hideout. "We got it!" they both screamed at the same time.
"What should I wear?!" Suho asked with his eyes glistening with anticipation. "You should wear both!" Sehun and Kyungsoo high-fived each other. "GENIUS!" Chanyeol yelled and the three of them three way high-fived but Kyungsoo accidentally missed and slapped Chanyeol's face instead.
"Nice work boys, I always knew I could count on you!" Suho smiled proudly at his three Super Derp buddies and looked at his shirts in his hands. "Now...which one do I wear over the other?"
...*awkward silence*...
"THE NINJAS WITH THE LASER GUNS!" Sehun yelled as he made a ninja pose and tried chopping Chanyeol's arm. "AGH! Damn it Sehun that hurt!" The tallest rubbed his arm.
"Excellent! I shall wear both shirts! But the unicorn goes under the ninjas!" Suho chuckled at the foolish boys who were now trying to chop each others arms. "I will go get ready for my date now!"
"YOU HAVE A DATE?!" Chanyeol threw his arms in the air as Kyungsoo's eyes grew to the size of saucers...almost literally. "Suho you are going on a date?!"
"Thuho!! When did thith happen? Hmm? You didn't tell uth you were going to go thee thomeone." Sehun frowned and pouted.
"Sehun what the hell, why are you talking like that? Is there something wrong?" Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow to the maknae.
"There'th nothing wrong! I'm talking completely normal. Thy?"
"The word 'why' starts with a W, there was no point of pronouncing it with a lisp."
"Thut up!"
...*awkward silence yet again*...
"So ANYWAYS, yeah! I have a date! We met at the bookstore~ He is so handsome and oh! He's Russian." Suho blushed as the trio 'Ooooo'ed and made kissy faces. "Gotta go now! I have to get ready! We are meeting in five hours in front of the bookstore we met at!"
"It takes you five hours to get ready?"
"Yes"
...*crickets chirping because this is like the 193883627183739th awkward silence*...
"Okay bye! See ya!" Suho smiled and the small TV turned off.
"You guys wanna stalk him on his date to see how hot the guy is?" Sehun smiled slyly as he asked.
"YEAH!"
<><><><>
The three derps where huddled together hiding in a bush as they watched Junmyeon (because he was not their leader at the moment, just a regular guy) stand alone outside the bookstore. Sehun chuckled out, "Heh heh, he got stood up." Which earned him a smack on the back of his head, courtesy of Kyungsoo.
"Shut up Sehun" Chanyeol hissed. "Remember that time when you entered the girls bathroom and you were trapped for seven hours?"
"Uh...yeah? What does that have to do with anything?"
Chanyeol started chuckling evilly and shrugged. "I dunno, I just wanted to bring it up."
Silence filled the air and Chanyeol brought out his binoculars and continued to spy on Junmyeon. Kyungsoo finally looked at Sehun surprised. "Seven hours?"
"Uh...yeah...It's not as bad as it sounds! Two and a half of those hours was actually me using the bathroom! I had a bad taco."
"LOOK! Someone is with leader Suho!"
Kyungsoo pushed Chanyeol and stole the binoculars to look himself. "Thare Kyungsoo hyung! Thehun wants to thee too!" Sehun whined as he pulled on Kyungsoo's sleeve.
"SHHHH!" Kyungsoo covered the maknae's mouth with his hands, dropping the binoculars and making a lens crack. "THEY ARE TALKING. LETS BE QUIET."
"YOU BROKE MY BINOCULARS!"
"SHUT UP CHANYEOL, THEY MIGHT HEAR US!"
"I DON'T CARE!! YOU BROKE MY-" Kyungsoo tackled Chanyeol before he could scream any louder. Cause you know, they weren't screaming loud or anything before.
Junmyeon was smiling the widest smile when his date finally arrived. "Hello! I-I mean..." He looked down to his Korean-Russian dictionary. "Zdravstvuyte!"
The guy gave him a weird look and chuckled nervously. "E-Excuse me? I didn't understand what you said."
Junmyeon held up a finger for a moment and looked back down to his dictionary. "Ya lyublyu zharenuyu kuritsu!" He smiled widely but the other didn't say anything back. "Wait I think I accidentally said that I like-"
"Did someone mention 'zharenaya kuritsa'?!" A guy from the crowd came out of nowhere and attacked Junmyeon. "WHERE IS THE FRIED CHICKEN?!" He yelled as he gripped Junmyeon's shirt and shook him. "Who the hell are you?!" Junmyeon's date yelled as he threw the stranger off Junmyeon and helped him up.
"I'm Onew! Now where is my fried chicken, you Russian coward! You are hiding it from me aren't you?!" Onew was pointing to Junmyeon's date like a crazy person, his eyes were bloodshot red.
"Russian? I'm not Russian?! Where did you get that idea from? I'm Chinese...my name is Yixing?"
Junmyeon hid his dictionary behind his back and tossed it towards a bush. "OW! SUHO HIT ME WITH HIS KOREAN-RUSSIAN DICTIONARY!"
"SHUT UP! BE QUIET! WE CAN'T GET CAUGHT, CHANYEOL."
"I don't care if you are Chinese, Russian, or Hawaiian-" Onew was staring intensely towards Yixing.
"Where did Hawaiian come from-"
"-JUST GIVE ME MY DAMN FRIED CHICKEN." Onew screamed as he hit his chest over and over like a gorilla.
"I can't watch this anymore!" A voice shouted from the nearby bush. Kyungsoo popped out and he grabbed Onew by the ear and disappeared into the bush and dragged the fried chicken freak along inside.
...*I love awkward silences as you can tell* ...
"Lets go shall we, Yixing?" Junmyeon put up his arm for Yixing to link his arm with, which the other did and they went along on their way to a restaurant. "What a gentleman Junmyeon is" Yixing smiled brightly.
"LETS FOLLOW THEM." Chanyeol demanded as he watched them walk away. "Will there be fried chicken?"
"Shut up and go away Onew!"
<><><><>
Once at the restaurant, Junmyeon and Yixing were seated and having their orders taken when the three derps,who finally ditched Onew by buying him his fried chicken, snuck past them and sat at a table right next to them.
If it weren't for their disguises of fake mustaches, long trench coats, and brown fedora hats, they would have been caught spying by now. "Excuse me but can you stop following us?" Yixing asked them when they were all staring at Junmyeon and him. They acted as if nothing happened and dug their noses in the menus.
"Are they your friends?" Junmyeon asked Yixing who has shaking his head as if saying 'hell no!'
"You told your friends you had a date with a very attractive man and they couldn't help but spy on us, is it?" Junmyeon chuckled lightly, feeling all special and cool.
"No"
"Oh...okay." Junmyeon tried playing it off by seeming not to care and shrugging as he reached for his drink. He started chugging his glass of water when he tipped it too far and spilled it all over his ninja shirt. "NOOOOOO!!!" Everyone looked to where the scream was from. Sehun.
He cleared his throat and looked back down to his menu as if he didn't scream about the awesome ninja shirt getting wet. "Nooo...they don't have the soup I wanted."
"Just great! My shirt is going to have a stain now." Junmyeon grumbled angrily as he grabbed a napkin and started wiping it. "It's water...how would it stain?" Yixing asked with an eyebrow raised.
At the other table Kyungsoo was still eavesdropping while Sehun and Chanyeol were playing with their straws, spitting wet spit balls at each other. Kyungsoo elbowed Chanyeol who just hit Sehun's bare eyeball and was now crying in pain. "Chanyeol! Listen to this Yixing guy..." Chanyeol tilted his head in confusion. "Doesn't he...remind you of someone we know...like, I don't know, someone who we are archenemies with, I guess?"
Chanyeol listened but couldn't recognize the voice that well because he was sitting the farthest from their table. He scooted closer to Kyungsoo to get better hearing, but they ended up switching seats because Chanyeol was practically sitting on Kyungsoo. He scooted a bit closer to Junmyeon and Yixing's table, closer, a little bit more closer...closer...
"Excuse me, you are sitting on my freaking lap!" Yixing screamed as Chanyeol rested his ear against Yixing's cheek.
"Oh! Didn't see you there!" Chanyeol chuckled as he stood up and dusted his trench coat. Yixing looked annoyed but when he looked up to see the freak that was sitting on him, he gasped. "Y-Yeol?"
Chanyeol's eyes widen at the mention of his secret identity as a Super Derp in the Derp Squad. "W-What? My name isn't Yeol! Foolish Russian! I'm not nearly as handsome as that buff, tall, y deep voiced of a superhero by the name of Yeol!" He laughed as if it was the most funniest thing in the world and motioned with his hand for Kyungsoo and Sehun to laugh as well.
Yixing nodded his head hesitantly and excused himself to the restroom. "I'll...be right back." He told Junmyeon who was laughing along with the three derps. "This guy is hilarious! I'll be right here!"
As Kyungsoo and Sehun distracted Junmyeon, Chanyeol sneakily followed Yixing who didn't go to the restroom, but outside the restaurant and pulled out his cellphone. Chanyeol hid behind a phone booth when Yixing started talking on his phone.
"Hello? Kris?"
Chanyeol held back a gasp. Kris? As in, the leader of their archenemies, EXO-M? That Kris?! No...it could just be a coincidence!
"What do you mean I need to tell you the password for you to know I'm not an imposter of Lay?!"
Chanyeol held back another gasp. Lay? As in, the brains of their archenemies, EXO-M? That Lay?! No...it could just be another coincidence!
"Careless careless, shoot anonymous anonymous. Heartless mindless, no one who cares about me." Yixing sang monotone from being annoyed.
Chanyeol gasped out loud but covered his mouth. That was EXO-M's war cry!
He climbed and peeked over the phone booth when Yixing started speaking lower. "Listen, you're the only one who knows how the leader of EXO-K looks like right?"
He's talking about EXO-K!
"I know you said we aren't allowed to know because it is confidential or whatever you said, but this is an emergency! I think I might have caught him! Send me a picture of him, will you?"
Oh no! It is Lay from EXO-M! And he is planning on capturing the leader! Chanyeol watched from above as Lay hung up and received a text message from a contact named ' Face' He opened the text and there was leader Suho alright. "I got you now, 'Junmyeon' or should I call you Suho?" Lay chuckled darkly before heading back into the restaurant.
"Chanyeol, this wasn't a good idea. You wanted Piña Colada and I wanted Double Fudge Brownie Chocolate Chip with Peanut Butter Cups and Cookie Dough with extra fudgey caramel over my strawberry flavored whipped cream with cinnamon and cheddar cheese shavings sprinkled on top. Mixing them together was a terrible idea."
Chanyeol shook his head uncontrollably resembling a 5 year old. "No! We are so compatible! Don't you see? Our favorite flavors mix very well together, I absolutely love this milkshake! This was a test of our love, and we passed."
Baekhyun wasn't listening, he was too busy puking up the milkshake on the tiled floor. Chanyeol rested his head on his hand and sighed dreamingly as he watched his gorgeous boyfriend. "I wouldn't trade any other moment for this one. Would you Baekie?" Chanyeol took Baekhyun's grunt as a 'no' and continued on, "I love being with you. You make me the happiest person alive. I would never ever leave you." He sighed with a big old grin on his face until he felt his pager vibrate. "Whoops! Looks like I'm going to have to leave you! I gotta run!" Chanyeol jumped off his seat and ran out the door before Baekhyun finally wiped his mouth with his sleeve and sat up straight. "So where were we? Chanyeol?" Then the smell of the milkshake filled his nostrils and he couldn't hold back anymore puke.
By the time Chanyeol made it to his parent's backyard, Sehun and Kyungsoo were already waiting for him outside, pacing back and forth biting their nails. "Am I late? What's the big emergency?!" Chanyeol exclaimed as neither of them acknowledged him. "Kyungsoo!" Chanyeol slapped the Derp.
"This is bad." Was all Kyungsoo could muster out as he stared off into space not even looking into Chanyeol's eyes when the taller griped his shirt's collar.
"I-I...don't know how we can fix this." Sehun whispered as he shook his head and fell to his knees. "How could we let Suho down like this?!"
"Derp Squad! I'm getting anxious here! What has EXO-M done this time?! Answer me! What's going on?"
Sehun hit his head over and over as he whispered out, "You must go talk to Suho. This is our biggest dilemma yet..." And with that Chanyeol climbed up the treehouse and down the secret secret tunnel into their other secret secret hideout.
"Leader Suho?" Chanyeol ran to the 10 inch TV placed on the wall. Suho was on the screen massaging his temples from thinking too much. "Chanyeol..."
"Suho! What is going on?! Did someone die? Is someone about to? Is someone dearly beloved being held hostage?!" Chanyeol was clenching his heart from the thought.
"No...it's...the end of the world!" Suho bursted into tears as he held up two different shirts hanging on hangers. "I have a date tonight and I don't know what to wear! Sehun and Kyungsoo don't know what I should pick either! You see, this shirt has a unicorn on it...but this shirt! It has two cool orange and turquoise ninjas riding horses as they shoot lasers with their laser guns at each other!!"
...*awkward silence*...
Chanyeol stared expressionless. "You mean I left my date with Baekie, ran all across town, got hit by a car then got up to be hit by another car, to stand here and be told that the biggest emergency was that you didn't know what shirt to wear on your date tonight?"
"Yes"
...*awkward silence*...
"SUHO!" Chanyeol yelled angrily. "WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME EARLIER?! This is so freaking hard! The unicorn is so freaking cute but OMG laser gunned ninjas!! I could have cancelled my date with Baekhyun altogether!" He slumped down on his seat and continued to stare at both T-shirts.
After twenty minutes of them both contemplating which shirt Suho should go with, Kyungsoo and Sehun entered the secret secret hideout. "We got it!" they both screamed at the same time.
"What should I wear?!" Suho asked with his eyes glistening with anticipation. "You should wear both!" Sehun and Kyungsoo high-fived each other. "GENIUS!" Chanyeol yelled and the three of them three way high-fived but Kyungsoo accidentally missed and slapped Chanyeol's face instead.
"Nice work boys, I always knew I could count on you!" Suho smiled proudly at his three Super Derp buddies and looked at his shirts in his hands. "Now...which one do I wear over the other?"
...*awkward silence*...
"THE NINJAS WITH THE LASER GUNS!" Sehun yelled as he made a ninja pose and tried chopping Chanyeol's arm. "AGH! Damn it Sehun that hurt!" The tallest rubbed his arm.
"Excellent! I shall wear both shirts! But the unicorn goes under the ninjas!" Suho chuckled at the foolish boys who were now trying to chop each others arms. "I will go get ready for my date now!"
"YOU HAVE A DATE?!" Chanyeol threw his arms in the air as Kyungsoo's eyes grew to the size of saucers...almost literally. "Suho you are going on a date?!"
"Thuho!! When did thith happen? Hmm? You didn't tell uth you were going to go thee thomeone." Sehun frowned and pouted.
"Sehun what the hell, why are you talking like that? Is there something wrong?" Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow to the maknae.
"There'th nothing wrong! I'm talking completely normal. Thy?"
"The word 'why' starts with a W, there was no point of pronouncing it with a lisp."
"Thut up!"
...*awkward silence yet again*...
"So ANYWAYS, yeah! I have a date! We met at the bookstore~ He is so handsome and oh! He's Russian." Suho blushed as the trio 'Ooooo'ed and made kissy faces. "Gotta go now! I have to get ready! We are meeting in five hours in front of the bookstore we met at!"
"It takes you five hours to get ready?"
"Yes"
...*crickets chirping because this is like the 193883627183739th awkward silence*...
"Okay bye! See ya!" Suho smiled and the small TV turned off.
"You guys wanna stalk him on his date to see how hot the guy is?" Sehun smiled slyly as he asked.
"YEAH!"
<><><><>
The three derps where huddled together hiding in a bush as they watched Junmyeon (because he was not their leader at the moment, just a regular guy) stand alone outside the bookstore. Sehun chuckled out, "Heh heh, he got stood up." Which earned him a smack on the back of his head, courtesy of Kyungsoo.
"Shut up Sehun" Chanyeol hissed. "Remember that time when you entered the girls bathroom and you were trapped for seven hours?"
"Uh...yeah? What does that have to do with anything?"
Chanyeol started chuckling evilly and shrugged. "I dunno, I just wanted to bring it up."
Silence filled the air and Chanyeol brought out his binoculars and continued to spy on Junmyeon. Kyungsoo finally looked at Sehun surprised. "Seven hours?"
"Uh...yeah...It's not as bad as it sounds! Two and a half of those hours was actually me using the bathroom! I had a bad taco."
"LOOK! Someone is with leader Suho!"
Kyungsoo pushed Chanyeol and stole the binoculars to look himself. "Thare Kyungsoo hyung! Thehun wants to thee too!" Sehun whined as he pulled on Kyungsoo's sleeve.
"SHHHH!" Kyungsoo covered the maknae's mouth with his hands, dropping the binoculars and making a lens crack. "THEY ARE TALKING. LETS BE QUIET."
"YOU BROKE MY BINOCULARS!"
"SHUT UP CHANYEOL, THEY MIGHT HEAR US!"
"I DON'T CARE!! YOU BROKE MY-" Kyungsoo tackled Chanyeol before he could scream any louder. Cause you know, they weren't screaming loud or anything before.
Junmyeon was smiling the widest smile when his date finally arrived. "Hello! I-I mean..." He looked down to his Korean-Russian dictionary. "Zdravstvuyte!"
The guy gave him a weird look and chuckled nervously. "E-Excuse me? I didn't understand what you said."
Junmyeon held up a finger for a moment and looked back down to his dictionary. "Ya lyublyu zharenuyu kuritsu!" He smiled widely but the other didn't say anything back. "Wait I think I accidentally said that I like-"
"Did someone mention 'zharenaya kuritsa'?!" A guy from the crowd came out of nowhere and attacked Junmyeon. "WHERE IS THE FRIED CHICKEN?!" He yelled as he gripped Junmyeon's shirt and shook him. "Who the hell are you?!" Junmyeon's date yelled as he threw the stranger off Junmyeon and helped him up.
"I'm Onew! Now where is my fried chicken, you Russian coward! You are hiding it from me aren't you?!" Onew was pointing to Junmyeon's date like a crazy person, his eyes were bloodshot red.
"Russian? I'm not Russian?! Where did you get that idea from? I'm Chinese...my name is Yixing?"
Junmyeon hid his dictionary behind his back and tossed it towards a bush. "OW! SUHO HIT ME WITH HIS KOREAN-RUSSIAN DICTIONARY!"
"SHUT UP! BE QUIET! WE CAN'T GET CAUGHT, CHANYEOL."
"I don't care if you are Chinese, Russian, or Hawaiian-" Onew was staring intensely towards Yixing.
"Where did Hawaiian come from-"
"-JUST GIVE ME MY DAMN FRIED CHICKEN." Onew screamed as he hit his chest over and over like a gorilla.
"I can't watch this anymore!" A voice shouted from the nearby bush. Kyungsoo popped out and he grabbed Onew by the ear and disappeared into the bush and dragged the fried chicken freak along inside.
...*I love awkward silences as you can tell* ...
"Lets go shall we, Yixing?" Junmyeon put up his arm for Yixing to link his arm with, which the other did and they went along on their way to a restaurant. "What a gentleman Junmyeon is" Yixing smiled brightly.
"LETS FOLLOW THEM." Chanyeol demanded as he watched them walk away. "Will there be fried chicken?"
"Shut up and go away Onew!"
<><><><>
Once at the restaurant, Junmyeon and Yixing were seated and having their orders taken when the three derps,who finally ditched Onew by buying him his fried chicken, snuck past them and sat at a table right next to them.
If it weren't for their disguises of fake mustaches, long trench coats, and brown fedora hats, they would have been caught spying by now. "Excuse me but can you stop following us?" Yixing asked them when they were all staring at Junmyeon and him. They acted as if nothing happened and dug their noses in the menus.
"Are they your friends?" Junmyeon asked Yixing who has shaking his head as if saying 'hell no!'
"You told your friends you had a date with a very attractive man and they couldn't help but spy on us, is it?" Junmyeon chuckled lightly, feeling all special and cool.
"No"
"Oh...okay." Junmyeon tried playing it off by seeming not to care and shrugging as he reached for his drink. He started chugging his glass of water when he tipped it too far and spilled it all over his ninja shirt. "NOOOOOO!!!" Everyone looked to where the scream was from. Sehun.
He cleared his throat and looked back down to his menu as if he didn't scream about the awesome ninja shirt getting wet. "Nooo...they don't have the soup I wanted."
"Just great! My shirt is going to have a stain now." Junmyeon grumbled angrily as he grabbed a napkin and started wiping it. "It's water...how would it stain?" Yixing asked with an eyebrow raised.
At the other table Kyungsoo was still eavesdropping while Sehun and Chanyeol were playing with their straws, spitting wet spit balls at each other. Kyungsoo elbowed Chanyeol who just hit Sehun's bare eyeball and was now crying in pain. "Chanyeol! Listen to this Yixing guy..." Chanyeol tilted his head in confusion. "Doesn't he...remind you of someone we know...like, I don't know, someone who we are archenemies with, I guess?"
Chanyeol listened but couldn't recognize the voice that well because he was sitting the farthest from their table. He scooted closer to Kyungsoo to get better hearing, but they ended up switching seats because Chanyeol was practically sitting on Kyungsoo. He scooted a bit closer to Junmyeon and Yixing's table, closer, a little bit more closer...closer...
"Excuse me, you are sitting on my freaking lap!" Yixing screamed as Chanyeol rested his ear against Yixing's cheek.
"Oh! Didn't see you there!" Chanyeol chuckled as he stood up and dusted his trench coat. Yixing looked annoyed but when he looked up to see the freak that was sitting on him, he gasped. "Y-Yeol?"
Chanyeol's eyes widen at the mention of his secret identity as a Super Derp in the Derp Squad. "W-What? My name isn't Yeol! Foolish Russian! I'm not nearly as handsome as that buff, tall, y deep voiced of a superhero by the name of Yeol!" He laughed as if it was the most funniest thing in the world and motioned with his hand for Kyungsoo and Sehun to laugh as well.
Yixing nodded his head hesitantly and excused himself to the restroom. "I'll...be right back." He told Junmyeon who was laughing along with the three derps. "This guy is hilarious! I'll be right here!"
As Kyungsoo and Sehun distracted Junmyeon, Chanyeol sneakily followed Yixing who didn't go to the restroom, but outside the restaurant and pulled out his cellphone. Chanyeol hid behind a phone booth when Yixing started talking on his phone.
"Hello? Kris?"
Chanyeol held back a gasp. Kris? As in, the leader of their archenemies, EXO-M? That Kris?! No...it could just be a coincidence!
"What do you mean I need to tell you the password for you to know I'm not an imposter of Lay?!"
Chanyeol held back another gasp. Lay? As in, the brains of their archenemies, EXO-M? That Lay?! No...it could just be another coincidence!
"Careless careless, shoot anonymous anonymous. Heartless mindless, no one who cares about me." Yixing sang monotone from being annoyed.
Chanyeol gasped out loud but covered his mouth. That was EXO-M's war cry!
He climbed and peeked over the phone booth when Yixing started speaking lower. "Listen, you're the only one who knows how the leader of EXO-K looks like right?"
He's talking about EXO-K!
"I know you said we aren't allowed to know because it is confidential or whatever you said, but this is an emergency! I think I might have caught him! Send me a picture of him, will you?"
Oh no! It is Lay from EXO-M! And he is planning on capturing the leader! Chanyeol watched from above as Lay hung up and received a text message from a contact named ' Face' He opened the text and there was leader Suho alright. "I got you now, 'Junmyeon' or should I call you Suho?" Lay chuckled darkly before heading back into the restaurant.
To be continued...
A/N
...*awkward silence*...
DAN DAN DAN DAAAAAAAN.
So this is the first part of 'Derping with the Enemy'! and I was really excited to write this that I ended up making it really long so that's why I cut it into two parts ("O_O)
So I hope you...kind of...somewhat enjoyed this? And I will update the next part sometime soon! ;D
PURPLE TEXT OMG I LOVE PURPLE MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*ahem ahem* :3
Comments