Second Confession
Yearn For Your Love { Hiatus }
Today is Saturday, and it has been two days since Tiffany stopped talking to Siwon, her bestfriend for life. Today he is going to go, leaving her alone, all by herself. She knew that this thing would happen, but she didn't expect that it would happen now. It's too soon and she is not ready yet to let her bestfriend go like this. She has known for long that Siwon has always wanted to be a judge, that going to Paris has always been his dream. And now, his dream is starting to come true. Tiffany, as his bestfriend should support him, right? But, she just can't..
Call her selfish.
She sighs deeply and walks to the kitchen, she has decided to make a cup of coffee for herself. She boils the water then sits on a chair while waiting for the water boiled. She keeps sighing and she really wants to cry. She will miss him for sure. But, no. She doesn't love him, she just considers him as her bestfriend. Her beloved guy FRIEND. But, she wants him for her, only for her.
Again, call her selfish.
What if he met a beautiful, gentle, and well-mannered girl in Paris, who has such a good taste at everything, amazing fashion style, lovable personality. Tiffany has been to Paris before, she knows the girls' style, she understands the culture, she LOVES Paris. And just like her, she knows that Siwon will love Paris as well, probably he will love it more than her.
She sighs, again. She has been sighing countless time since two days ago, since Siwon told her the worst announcement ever. The water finally boiled and Tiffany lifts the pot off the stove and pours the hot water into a cup. She has already pour a coffee mixture before, so the coffee is now ready.
Tiffany stirs her coffee then she sits back on her chair. She takes a sip of her black coffee and exhales. She looks at her cellphone on the table and keeps staring at its screen. God, she feels like crying. Siwon doesn't even care to text her or call her. Is he mad at her? Why? She should be the one who is mad, not him.
Her tears begin to fall and she can not stop it, she doesn't want to stop it. Let it be, just let it be.
She feels pathetic and unwanted.
She feels like Siwon hates her.
She feels like she is wanting to die.
She doesn't get it. Siwon always apologized to her, even though it's not his fault. Even though it was HER fault, but he has always been the one who always said sorry. Tiffany doesn't know what makes him like this. This is unacceptable.
Suddenly, her cellphone rings. Tiffany answers it immediately. "Hello, Siwon?" she is almost toppled because of her own sudden action.
The person who is on the other side chuckles. "It's me, Nichkhun. Who is Siwon?" oh, it's Nichkhun. The handsome, rich and kind-hearted guy who exchanged phone numbers with her two days ago. It was a happy moment for her, until Siwon's announcement ruined her happy day.
"Ah, sorry. Nevermind" Tiffany scratches her head. Why is he calling her, anyway? Does he need anything from her? Did she do something wrong? She hopes not. She is too tired for another mistake. "What can I help you, Nichkhun?"
Silence. Nichkhun stays quiet and Tiffany doesn't even bother to say anything. She is not in the mood to talk right now. "Are you free today?" he asks her, in a nervous tone. Nichkhun Buck Horvejkul, the most popular guy is nervous? Wow, that's new. And absolutely that's because of this girl who is feeling unhappy right now, even though it has nothing to do with him.
Tiffany nods her head and then she realizes that there's now way he can see her nodding. Silly Tiffany. "Yeah, why?" she knows that there's something that he wants to do with her, but she is too lazy to make a conclusion. So, she just asked.
"Umm.. Wanna go on a date with me?" Nichkhun asks her.
What? What was that? The earth just exploded? What, what happened?
Tiffany is speechless. The most popular guy in the campus just asked her to go on a date with him. Is he out of his mind or what? Tiffany doesn't know what to say. She wants to go, absolutely. But, is he joking or not? That's definitely the question.
Today is Saturday, clearly the day when people go on dates, with their boyfriends or girlfriends.
The weather is windy but we can still see the sun, clearly the most romantic moment to hold each other's hand.
It's autumn, the perfect time for walking side by side under the trees which their leaves are falling.
The best time to hug and kiss each other, which only couples can do that.
Couples.
And they are not even one.
They were just colleagues that accidentally met in the library and had a little chit chat and confessions about how they have been admiring each other. They are just encounters, he is just her new friend. Or, probably she considers him more than that. Uh-oh, that will be a trouble.
Her mind keeps saying, 'Say no, Tiffany! Say no!'
But her heart keeps telling her the other option, "Say yes, Tiffany! Say yes!'
Her mind speaks again, 'You will fall for him, that will be a trouble. Stay away from him when you still can run away, Fany! Don't fall for his trap'
Her heart disagrees again, 'Go on a date with him, you will regret it if you reject his offer. It's good to fall in love with a charming prince, Fany! It's okay to be trapped'
"Tiffany, you still there?" Nichkhun wants to convince himself that Tiffany hasn't cut off the line. "Sorry, it's okay if you don't want to" he feels bad. "I am just so bored, and I thought that.."
"Sure, let's go" finally, she decided to follow her heart and ignored her mind. She got her heart broken before, but she needs someone to mend her broken heart. Even though Nichkhun doesn't love her, but who knows what will come next? "Is amusement park good for you?"
"Anywhere you want" he answers. Tiffany can sense happiness in his voice. "Text me your address, I'll pick you up" his voice is so gentle and calming, Tiffany can not deny the fact that every time she hears his voice, she feels at ease.
"No, don't" she says. Yes, it will be good if he could pick her up, but it doesn't sound right. At least, she thinks that it isn't the right thing to do. "Let's just meet at the bus stop near the campus at 2pm"
Nichkhun raises one of his eyebrows. He has no clue at all. "Why bus stop?" he asks her, hoping that she will give him the answer. But, he knows that she will not tell him the reason. This girl is full of surprises. That's his first impression on her, which he doesn't know is that true or not. But, as far as he concerns, it's true.
Tiffany smirks. "You'll know later" see? He knew it. There's no way Tiffany would tell him about her plan. "See ya"
Nichkhun chuckles. He likes this girl. If he can date her, he believes that he will always feel happiness and never get bored of his life. "Okay then, see ya" then, he ends the call with a big smile on his face.
He has fallen for her, he knows that. No one knows his feelings more than himself, right? But, like he said before, he doesn't want to rush at everything, he wants to approach her step by step until she finally realizes his feelings for her. He believes that one day she will understand who's the one that really loves her.
He needs to be patient. Patience has always been the key to successful ness.
*****
Nichkhun arrives at the bus stop twenty minutes early. He parks his car on the campus' parking lot. He walks to the bus stop while quivering a little. Today's weather is no joke at all. It's windy, giving him goosebumps. He just wears casual clothes, t-shirt and jeans plus a fairly thick jacket. Well, he is not a big fan of autumn to be very honest. He prefers summer or spring. He loves summer but not as much as he loves spring. The smell of fragrant flowers which are blooming really make his day to the happiest.
But, he will do anything to make Tiffany's day to the finest. He finally got the urge to ask her to go on a date with him and she said yes. Nichkhun can not feel any happier than he is right now. He sits on the bench, looking around and then he looks at his watch. He's way too early, looks like he is too excited for this date.
He sighs, while rubbing his palms. He didn't expect that today's weather would be this windy. He hates weather like this, he prefers winter and snow.
Why Tiffany wanted to go to the amusement park when the weather is extremely cold like this? Well, probably she would change her mind. That girl is really something, isn't she? She is different than other girls, or probably that's just because Nichkhun has fallen for her. That makes her different from the rest of the girls in Nichkhun's eyes.
"Wow, you're here already" a gentle yet shocked voice suddenly heard. Nichkhun lifts his head up and he sees Tiffany is standing right in front of him, flashing her eye-smile. "I thought I would be the first to come" she chuckles sweetly. Tiffany wears casual clothes as well, just like him. The weather just didn't allow her to wear cute and pretty clothes, what a shame. She wears a cute pink jacket at least.
Nichkhun flashes his eye-smile as well. "There's just no way I would let a girl wait" he says gently, making Tiffany's heart beats very fast. Why is he so charming? Any girl will fall for him in a second for sure. Nichkhun stands up and offers her his arm. "Shall we go, then?"
Dugeun dugeun. Uh-oh, here comes trouble~
Tiffany gulps, she didn't expect that Nichkhun would offer his arm like this. Now what? Should she link her arm with his? Tiffany doesn't know what to do, but it will be inappropriate if she reject his offer, right? Her face is extremely red right now, let's talk about red tomato, two red tomatoes. She exhales and links her arm with his. "Sure, let's go there by bike"
Nichkhun raises one of his eyebrows. "Bike?"
Tiffany nods her head. She looks at him and smiles brightly. "We can rent bikes there" she points at one focus. Nichkhun can see a man standing still. There's a sign with 'Rent bicycles : 1000₩ / hour' written on it. Nichkhun nods his head, signaling her that he sees the sign and the man and the bikes. Tiffany looks at him. "Can you ride bicycle?"
"Of course I can. I can ride motorcycle as well" he answers confidently.
"Good, because to be honest I can't" Tiffany says, while grinning. She can never ride bicycle. NEVER. She has a bad memory with bicycle. She often fell off her bicycle when she learned to ride it. She is still traumatized, don't judge her.
{ To be honest, I can't ride bicycle either lolol. No judging } <<< Author
Nichkhun smiles sheepishly. "We'll get a couple bike then" he says, then drags Tiffany to the spot where they can see a bunch of bicycles and a man trying to rent those bikes to people.
"Excuse me, may we rent a couple bike for like.." he stops for a second, looking at his watch. ".. Approximately four until five hours?" he looks at Tiffany and she mumbles 'four' and Nichkhun nods his head. "Four hours, thank you" he smiles at the renter.
The man looks amazed. He thinks that Nichkhun is a very polite young man. Well, of course. He was born and raised in a stately environment. "You need to pay 2000₩ / hour for a couple bike, though. Is that fine?" he grins at Nichkhun.
Nichkhun nods. "Yes, that's fine" he gives the man 20000₩, making the man's eyes widened in shock. "Please, keep the change. Thank you so much" then, he hops on the bicycle and asks Tiffany to sit on the back seat.
Tiffany hops on the back and grins happily. "All set. Let's go!"
Nichkhun smiles and starts pedaling the bike. He can feel the wind blows. He turns his head a little bit to see Tiffany's face. That girl is busy tidying her hair because of the wind. Seeing that, draws a light smile on Nichkhun's face. She is perfect. Damn, he wants her. He really wants her.
"Nichkhun, I change my mind" Tiffany says suddenly. "Let's go to the beach instead" this girl is full of surprises indeed. Nichkhun knows that she is up to something, but like always, he can never guess.
Nichkhun just nods his head and pedals the bike even faster. Tiffany is shocked with his sudden action. She puts her arms around his waist and closes her eyes. She is afraid to fall.
Fall for what, Tiffany?
Fall off the bicycle?
Or.. Fall in love with him?
Tiffany tries to erase her mind. But, she has to admit that she is afraid to fall for both. She is not ready to fall in love again, but this guy makes everything way much harder for her to handle. Correction. Much harder for her HEART to handle. Mouth can lie, but she knows for sure that her heart knows the best. And she knows that she is starting to fall...
Her heart is beating in a fast speed again. She is secretly hoping that Nichkhun doesn't hear it. But, it's too late. He hears her heartbeat and he gulps. He feels the same. His heart is beating very fast as well. Oh god, can he hope? Can he hope for her to be his? Yes, he can. He absolutely can.
After twenty minutes, they finally arrives at the beach. Tiffany finally manages to control her heartbeat, so does Nichkhun. Tiffany hops off the bike and runs toward the seashore, while grinning happily like a little kid.
Nichkhun looks at her from afar with a big smile on his face. Uh-oh, he is shivering again. The weather is already windy plus they are now at the beach. It makes everything worse. But, seeing her happy like this, really makes him forget about his shiver.
Tiffany waves at him. "Nichkhun, come here!" she shouts. Nichkhun runs toward her. Tiffany grins widely. "Look, I found a pink seashell" she shows him a pink seashell that she just found.
Nichkhun looks amazed. "It's pretty, Tiffany. Where did you get that?" he touches the seashell. It's pretty indeed, especially when the sun shines at it. It makes the seashell shines brightly in pink color.
"I just looked for it" she continues, "When I was in junior high, I was still in America back then. My friends told me a myth. They said that if a girl and a boy found a pink seashell each, they would live happily ever after and they would love each other until eternity" she smiles lightly. "That's so sweet, isn't it? I don't believe it, though. I just thought that maybe it was fun to look for it, since I am here at the beach"
"I found one" Nichkhun says, while showing a pink seashell to Tiffany. His hands are wet because he was looking for it and the waves kept coming. He got a little bit of sand as well. "This thing is pretty, really" he looks at Tiffany who is trying her best to hide her face. "You don't believe in that myth, do you?"
Slowly, Tiffany shakes her head. Nichkhun chuckles. "That's a shame, I hope that you believe it"
Tiffany tries to act normal. "And, your point is..?"
"I love you, Fany" he confesses to her. At a time like this, when the weather is windy like this, at the beach like this? It's romantic. He doesn't have to give her roses or anything, because this is more than enough already. "I really love you"
Tiffany is stoned. He can't be serious, he can't be.. "No way, you just noticed me few days ago" Tiffany turns around. "I'm tired, let's go back"
Nichkhun grabs her hand. "I am serious, Fany. I have fallen for you, even before you even noticed my presence, even before I had the urge to say hello to you. I've always loved you. Please, at least, just believe me"
"You're wrong, Nichkhun" Tiffany says, in a husky voice. She starts crying. Dear god, why lately people love to make her cry? Her bestfriend, her ex-boyfriend, and now Nichkhun? What has she done wrong to these people? "I've noticed you long time ago, even before you realized that I exist"
Nichkhun is dumbfounded. What did she say? "What do you mean?"
Tiffany wipes her tears and braves herself to look at Nichkhun's face. "You were my first love, Nichkhun Buck Horvejkul. I've loved you since freshmen year of high school. But you didn't even know that I exist.." there, she said it. She confesses her feelings for him. "I've always wanted to talk to you. You have no idea how happy I was when you talked to me in the library that time"
"I'm.. I'm sorry. I didn't know back then, I was.." Nichkhun tries to explain, but Tiffany cuts his sentence off.
"You were too busy talking with your popular friends, I know" Tiffany smiles lightly. "Thank you for finally noticing me and thank you for loving me.." Tiffany can see Nichkhun's face lightens. "But, I can't.. Not now.."
"Why not, Fany?" he asks in confusion. He doesn't get it. If they love each other, why can't they be together? That doesn't make any sense.
Tiffany sighs. "Because, I.. I just got my heart broken and I need time to heal the wound, so.. I'm sorry" she bows. She feels like crying right now. It has always been her dream to be Nichkhun Buck Horvejkul's girlfriend. And now, when she finally gets his confession she has to turn him down. She is not ready to fall in love again, not ready yet. It doesn't matter how much she wants to be with him or how much she loves him, she just can't.
"Look at me, Tiffany" Nichkhun says. Tiffany looks at his eyes. Oh my god, those eyes.. Nichkhun her hair gently. "It's okay, don't say that you're sorry.. I will wait for you" he smiles lightly and sincerely.
Tiffany shakes her head. "No, don't do that.. I don't deserve it, Nichkhun. Give your heart to a girl that really deserves it" she starts crying. She is hopeless. She doesn't want him to love someone else.
Her ex-boyfriend gave her wounds at the end. He hurt her at the end.
Her bestfriend is going to leave her all alone, doesn't care even though she needs him.
He doesn't want to let Nichkhun go, especially because she loves him. Yeah, that feeling from high school still remains. Probably when she was dating Seunghyun, deep down inside she was still longing for Nichkhun's love. Bad Tiffany, really bad. She loved Seunghyun, she loved him. But, she has to admit that she has been longing for Nichkhun's love all this time.
People is right. First love will always remain in your heart, even though you have already fallen for someone else. Finally, Tiffany understands.
Nichkhun chuckles bitterly. "I don't want this either, Fany. But, my heart chose you. It chose you already, and there's nothing I can do about it" he caresses Tiffany's cheek and wipes her tears. "I'll wait"
Tiffany keeps crying. "B-but.."
"I promise you one thing" he says, while wiping her tears, again. "I will heal your wound and make you happy, I promise" then, he hugs her tightly. "Don't cry, please.. I feel like a bad person here" he tenderly rubs her back.
Tiffany hugs him back and keeps crying. God, please let her love him. Please, let him heal the wound in her heart.
Please, let him be her man...
*****
They are sitting on the sand side by side without saying a word to each other. Tiffany has stopped crying and Nichkhun just puts up his flat expression. Tiffany tries to find a topic to discuss because she can't stand silence. Suddenly, her cellphone rings. Tiffany looks at its screen before answering the call.
Siwon.
Hell. It's Siwon. Finally, he calls her. Tiffany excuses herself to answer the call, gaining a nod from Nichkhun. Not even a smile. "Hello?"
"Fany, I miss you.."
Heck. He has been missing for two days without a trace and now he calls her just to say that he misses her? Yeah, good job, Choi Siwon.
"My plane will depart in 15 minutes, so I don't have much time" he says. Tiffany knows that he is sad, she knows him too well. Tiffany just stays quiet, she pretends like she is angry. Wait, no. She IS angry, not pretending to be. "I will stay there for two until three years I guess.."
"I don't care" Tiffany says, heartless. She actually cares, but her ego defeats her feeling this time. "Just go wherever you want, how long you wanna stay, I don't care" she stops for a while, thinking what she should say next. "And I don't miss you and I won't miss you. Goodbye" she wants to cut off the line, but she hears Siwon says something. She is not that cruel to end the call when he still speaks.
"I hope when I come back, I will see you happy with a nice guy beside you, Fany. Not the mean one like that Choi Seunghyun.." he stops. "Or a jerk like me.. Ah, I have to go. Goodbye, Tiffany. I will miss you" then, he cuts off the line.
Tiffany hides her face from Nichkhun because she is crying, again. She knows that she was mean to tell Siwon that. She knows that she hurt him with her cruel and heartless words. But she is just so pissed off, and no one can blame her. She has the right to get angry at him.
"Who's that?" Nichkhun asks her, he senses something is wrong.
"My bestfriend.." Tiffany answers, with a low voice. "He is going to Paris to take the Law Major for two until three years. So.. Yeah"
Nichkhun just nods his head couple times. "You're angry at him, aren't you?"
Tiffany nods. "Because, he didn't even tell me about this. He told me in the last minute, so I got angry.."
Nichkhun doesn't say anything. He remembers when he called her this morning. "Is that a guy named Siwon? You mistook me as him when you answered my call this morning"
"Yes, it's him" Tiffany chuckles bitterly. She is silly, so silly and stupid. Suddenly, she feels bad. She feels dizzy and tired. "Nichkhun, can we go back now? I feel tired"
"Yeah, sure. Let's go back" he stands up and helps Tiffany standing up as well.
Great, Siwon. You just ruined a good moment, and you just ruined her good mood.
*****
Tiffany walks to her flat because her flat is at a narrow street and she didn't want to trouble Nichkhun so she asked him to drop her off before the narrow street, so she could go to her flat by walking. At first, Nichkhun kept saying that he would drop her off in front of her flat because he's worried that something might happen to her, but she insisted that he should just go home. He finally gave up and said goodbye to her and asked her to be careful. Before he drove off, he kissed her forehead.
He. Kissed. Her. Forehead.
Dugeun dugeun. Uh-oh, second trouble~
Finally, only few more steps until she reach her flat sweet flat, but she sees someone standing in front of the building and that someone is very familiar in her eyes. God, please don't tell her..
"Tiffany, where have you been? I've been waiting for like three hours"
It's Seunghyun.
Dugeun dugeun. Uh-oh, the third trouble~
Tiffany opens in shock ness. Her jaw drops. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"I need to talk to you" he raises his voice.
"I told you already, there's nothing to talk about" Tiffany goes inside the building and walking up the stairs.
Seunghyun follows her from behind. "But I have to talk to you" Tiffany ignores him and keeps walking. They finally arrive at the third floor and Tiffany takes out her key and opens the lock. Seunghyun grabs her hand. "I want you back and I won't give up, even though you hate me now"
"Go away" Tiffany says, with a cold tone. "And let go off me"
Seunghyun tightens his grip. "I know you still love me, don't lie"
"I don't love you. Please low down your confidence meter" she says, while trying to endure the pain that she feels right now. Her wrist hurts. Se is trying to let her hand go, but looks like she can not do it because his grip is way too strong.
"Fany, look at me" he pleads. "Please.. I know you still love me. I love you"
He said that again. That three words, eight letters, meaningful phrase.
Tiffany feels like exploding. "I don't love you, Choi Seunghyun!" she yells at him. "We are over, we're done! Stop following me like a psycho. Get a life! I don't love you anymore. In fact, I.. I.." she is supposed to say that she hates him, but she can't say it. Why? She has no idea. A tear drops from her eye, she is crying again. Again, for like how many times today. She doesn't know, she lost count. "I.."
"Tiffany.." Seunghyun mumbles. He leans his face closer to hers, she can feel his breaths. He gives her a peck on the lips, a sweet peck.
Tiffany should push him away or slap him or kick him or whatever. But, she lets him kiss her.
She lets him kiss her.
Again, again and again. He kisses her lips again and again, while wiping every single tear that drops from her eyes.
Tiffany enjoys his kisses. She has to admit that he has always been a good kisser. But, no. It's not about that, but she lets him because she feels loved. She feels his love. Right now, she finally understands that he loves her.
Choi Seunghyun finally loves her.
Who to choose? Uh-oh, the fourth trouble~
And the drama begins.
Comments