Tori, a girl with a cruel fate, goes to her sister, Tiffany for help. In the twinkle of her eye, she ends up meeting her future which is Park Chanyeol.

TITLE (4/5) »I actually like your title. It sets the mood and theme of the story. Although it sounds a bit cliche, it's still good!

FOREWORD AND DESCRIPTION (4/10)

PLOT'S ORIGINALITY (13/20)

characterization (14/20) »you haven't really went into full details about the character development. you rushed the story which can sometimes be a bad thing as we readers want to know what they are thinking now and then and their expressions, other sides of them, etc. from what i have read, i know that chanyeol and tori stutter, they're sweethearts and pretty much along these lines: i'm in love. of course, this is good, but i would like for you to go back and add a few details. maybe actions? cos actions do speak louder than words. but other than that, i like the characters. i like how there's a mixture of snsd and exo so thumbs up for that one ^^

SPELLING AND GRAMMAR (15/20) »i didn't find a lot of spelling mistakes but you still had them like the word relieved. you spelt it as relived. for future references, if you are not sure how to spell a word, do look it up on google. it's friendly. but other than that, the spelling is alright ^^ there were a few mistakes though, especially coming from the commas and tenses. you forgot to place the commas where they should be placed, such as names. when saying multiple names like: Abby crystal taeyang and james. there should always be commas until the last name so it should look like this instead: abby, crystal, taeyang and james. Can you spot the difference? if you don't know where to place a comma, stop writing, reread the sentence or paragraph and where you take a breath or pause while reading it, that's where you put the comma. for the tense, do remember you either only write in past tense or present tense. it's alright though, it's hard. i, myself, always mix the tenses up as well. just remember to read the sentence. read it in present tense or past tense so instead of this (example): i liked the apples that you buy. you see how there's two tenses in one sentence? it should be: i liked the apples that you bought. or if you are writing in present tense, then it should be: i like the apples that you buy. some words, when writing and reading in past tense have ed at the end of them like play(ed) and cool(ed) but not all of them have that so be careful.

GRAPHICS (2/5) »your poster is much too simple and too effective. it's bright. it's okay to have a bright poster but the poster you have has been overdone. it's a little messy as well. but somehow, it still fits the theme of the story although it looks like a 'fluff'. it leads people on and your story isn't too fluffy.
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OVERALL ENJOYMENT (15/20) »i had fun reading your story although it was only 3 chapters. i like the characters, especially tiffany's! keep practicing with your writing and i bet you, you will have a lot of dedicated and great commentators, etc. ^^

FINAL SCORE (67/100) »Your final score will be converted into a percent then into letter grade:

»{b} 89 - 80
»{c} 79 - 70
»{d} 69 - 60
»{f} 59 and below

Reviewed by: Momo's Miracles