Listen on repeat

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It was a harmless question: Who'd change the most when in a relationship? None of our friends thought about him. I didn't think about him. I guess it's just too weird to even imagine. But I guess here we are, a year later, a few dates into the relationship, with a very surprised me along for the ride.

I still feel weird talking about this. Believe me, it's really weird. I don't remember when he started singing along to 4men and Mindy Gledhill. Suddenly, our music choices are aligning perfectly. I still remember when he used to make fun of me for tuning in to Romance Town a few years back. But suddenly, he's cuddling with me on the sofa, watching dramas with me. Sometimes he pays more attention to the dramas than I do. I guess I'm just too preoccupied watching his side profile, enjoying the look of pure concentration on his defined features.

Don't get me wrong, I could get used to the change. I love that he's suddenly drinking coffee when I know that he isn't the coffee type. I guess it's because I brought him to my favorite coffee shop one too many times. I love that he's adjusting for me.

I love that he suddenly pays attention to the details, remembering even my little sister's birthday. I love that I don't have to tell him to hang out—he beats me to it. I love that he spontaneously takes videos of the things we do together, as if he's documenting us.

Who knew Kris Wu could be so caring, so different from his stoic shell? Who knew that he'd be willing to shed the manly image of himself for me? For me, of all people? I'm still trying to come to terms with it.

Ever since we started dating, I've been to more adventures than I thought was possible in such a short period of time. He's always so full of ideas, an adorably gummy smile on his face as he asks me to go bungee jumping, or go to an amusement park, or go fishing by the lake.

I keep wondering to myself how the intimidating Kris, with his prominent brows, his seemingly permanent scowl, and his scary height, could change completely when we're together. It flatters me, and it makes me feel so, so special that he does this for me. I wonder what I could've done to deserve all this.

He holds my hand, enveloping and making mine disappear into his own, big and warm. He kisses me, gently sometimes, more passionately others. And all the while, I could only feel like the luckiest woman in the world. All he asks for is my heart, but I guess he doesn't know. He's already had it from the start.

There's another new thing about Kris—he's started blushing. He blushes when I compliment him, he blushes when I cook him food, he blushes when I hug him a few extra seconds under the moonlight. It's so unlike him, yet somehow, it looks good on him. My big angry bird, blushing the shade of his favorite plush toy... it still surprises me. He ducks his head shyly when I call him my angry bird, actually. Some people think it impossible; I find it endearing.

I think I more than return the favor, though. I can't help but blush profusely when he stares at me like that. I can't help it when he makes me feel like I'm the only woman in his world. When he walks towards me with that y smile on his face, I wonder again and again, how do I deserve this?

I still remember his sweetly awkward confession. He was rubbing the back of his neck, stuttering in such an uncharacteristically Kris way, letting the words out as if he ran all the way to me to confess. I was sold. More than the words he said, though, it was the look in his eyes that told me he was willing to sacrifice ten for just one of me.

He smiles more often, he laughs more often. And that laugh, it does the weirdest things in my tummy, making it flip somersaults, turning it around in the most wonderfully ticklish sensation. But what gets to me is the fact that he remains the stoic Kris in front of everyone else. He only shows his tenderness to me.

I can’t escape because I’m in too deep. I think about him when I’m awake, I dream about him when I sleep. I see him when I walk the streets, I see his name dancing on the titles when I browse through books in the library, I see him in every corner of my life. He’s taken over, becoming my warm shelter when everything turns cold. He’s my oasis when I’m dying of thirst. He’s become all that I need and more.

When he’s changed so much for me, I know it’s his way of telling me he’ll be with me for the long haul. When he’s given so much to me, I know it’s his way of telling me that I’m loved. I could only hope that he sees even just half of what I feel for him, what I feel when I’m around him, what I feel when I’m not around him. Because when I say I love Kris Wu, I mean it.

I love him, just as much as he’s shown he loves me. I love Kris Wu—stoic shell and all. I love Kris Wu—cutely pouting angry bird and all. I love him—all of him.

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