(A/N: Warning: extra long chapter! I updated yesterday too, so if you haven't read the last chapter, go back and read that first!)

Sehun's POV

It was coming back, the irrational anger. I wasn't even listening to Suho's rambling. My chest was hot, my neck, my face - I must have been flushed red, but no one seemed to notice. I tried to warn them, to shout past Kris' ing huge hand - jesus, why were his hands so big? His other arm was wrapped around both of mine and my torso. He was too strong for me to do much more than squirm a little and that only made him squeeze tighter.

All of this was just pissing me off. Why was I the one that always had to be held back? What the hell was wrong with me to make me the only one who had outbursts?

I looked around to everyone in the room and not a single one looked my way. These guys are supposed to be my "soulmates", but why did it feel like I was the odd one out? Over by the couch, Jongin and Tao just up and vanished, clearly not caring in the slightest that the sight was tearing my heart apart.

Well, then it, I decided, and stopped struggling, letting the anger expand and twist in my gut. Anger felt so much better than pain anyways.

My eyes narrowed and it was like the whole world became a patchwork of movement where breezes and drafts fought against each other in a constant war of domination and submission. These chaotic movements were stupid, not knowing that if they simply cooperated with each other, they could easily build into a monsterous gust that could rip opponents in half with very little effort. So I gave them a little push, just a bit of guidance to show them what they were capable of.

Everyone in the room looked towards me at once.

That's right. I had power, and it was about ing time someone noticed.

With this power, throwing Kris off his feet was a literal breeze and the stupid look on his face as I did it was priceless.

I was sick and tired of people ignoring the way I felt, so why not give them something they couldn't possibly ignore?

First off, no one should be standing up. I fixed this quickly with a single strong gust that knocked every one of my so-called friends to the carpet. Chanyeol caught Baekhyun as they fell and nearly burned the place down when his own anger caught up to him, but Suho was very quick to douse his flames. I could tell Chen was aiming on getting closer so as to shock me without hurting anyone else, and I kept an eye on him, knocking him back the most as I worked on building my winds into something greater.

I wanted to cause destruction, a physical form of what my heart felt like, because having people constantly tell me how ty I was shattered it again and again.

"Sehun, stop this! We need to work together-"

Down went Suho again, the water he painstakingly collected in the air falling to the floor with him.

Some force I didn't expect threw me against the far wall, causing something to make a loud cracking sound. Whether the sound came from me or the wall, I couldn't tell, too full of adrenaline to even care. Luhan, that piece of ! It was his doing and it pissed me off even more. We had become really close, but with Xiumin in the picture, I hardly even mattered-

Cold seeped up my legs, reminding me to keep Xiumin occupied as well.

There were so many distractions, so many powers to fight against. I hated it. Fighting against my friends had lost it's appeal and I started up a swirling shield-like tornado to keep the worst of their efforts away. It was so confusing; I both wanted their attention and wished they'd leave me alone. My anger was transforming into something else, something even more painful.

It was hopeless - I was hopeless. I was a hot-headed monster, and I couldn't tame these feelings back. The freedom of letting loose my emotion in the most destructive way possible was too tempting, too gratifying. This was my addiction, one that I knew was going to destroy me in the end.

I was going to hurt someone. It was going to happen and soon. These guys - I couldn't even see them anymore past the wind and debris flying around - but these guys were important to me, at least I thought they were. Aren't they important? Why were they important? Memories flickered in through my confusion or Suho's warm words, Jongin's stupid doodles, and Chanyeol's never-ending optimism.

Fear gripped my heart tight. Even if they survived this, my friends would hate me - I already hated me.

All these confusing feelings were blurring over reality. I couldn't remember what I was doing, who was there, why this all started in the first place. I just wanted it to end. I wanted everything to end, me especially, and the wind was answering me, taking away the very breath from my lungs and replacing it with a void that wouldn't fill.

Something strong jumped on me then, taking us both down to the hard floor. Surprised, my winds halted their destruction, only to pick up again to throw this guy - Kyungsoo, of course it's Kyungsoo - the off. This just pushed me to anger again for having my plans interrupted. I blew as much air as I could at Kyungsoo's face, getting more and more irritated because - what the hell? Why wouldn't he budge? The boy's hair was whipped up by the wind and it looked like he was having a hard time seeing anything or even keeping his eyes open, but no amount of wind could move him. Kyungsoo was like a ing mountain, one that had no problem maneuvering around so that both my hands were held down above my head with his left hand while his right patted down my pockets, probably searching for gum. I didn't like this, being pinned and straddled, unable to do anything about it. Blowing air harder, struggling with more fervor - it was all useless and I was just about ready to scream from frustration.

But I never got the chance to, and the reason for that was the pair of lips that stopped the sound before it was ever made. The light peck startled me, but didn't deter me from trying to create a larger storm as soon as I ripped my mouth free again. Kyungsoo took notice and repeated his action, this time sticking his tongue past my lips. I couldn't get away and my power would no longer work for me, refusing to take my guidance anymore as I was forced into submission. Being so suddenly cut off in the middle of releasing tension felt suffocating; I was choking on repressed pain, which only made everything hurt worse.

I began to panic, as I could feel the haze of wind dissipating quickly, leaving an uncomfortable stillness to the air that only highlighted how humiliated I was, still struggling against the impossible. I made an angry, muffled groan in protest, and the boy responded by pressing himself down harder. By my head, Kyungsoo's right hand was fumbling to rip open a packet of gum, and once a piece had been freed, his lips slipped off and cool mint replaced the warm body heat.

"Damn it, Sehun! You are stronger than this!" Kyungsoo yelled in my face.

Strong? I used to think so, but if I was so strong, then why was the anger so quick to take over my life? I couldn't make sense of it, and tears beginning to prickle in the corners of my eyes only confirmed what I already knew: that my emotions couldn't be contained.

Kyungsoo climbed off me then and stormed out the front door, slamming it behind him. He was pissed and had every right to be. Quietly, I began chewing the gum in my mouth, letting it wash away his phantom touch.

I had never hated gum so much in my life. I was starting to think that I would never lose the minty muzzle and the thought made me sick. What was worse, my power was still not at it's height of potential. It would grow to something even more dangerous, and wouldn't my emotions grow too?

Everyone was staring at me again, Suho coming forward probably with words of comfort, but I didn't want them. I just wanted some time alone, away from this mess.

I shut myself up in a random bedroom, ignoring glares and looks of concern as I did. Once there, the pain stopped holding back completely.

Time passed in that little room with the muffled sound of voices coming from the living room. They were probably debating what to do with me, or if this followed the same pattern as what happens in my parents' house, then they were planning ways to get rid of me.

"Sehun, don't cry." came Suho's voice through the door after a while.

"I'm not crying." I shouted back, glad for the lock on the door, but knowing Luhan could probably undo it easily and hoping against hope that he wouldn't. It was true that I was sobbing. How much pain and tears could one person hold anyways? I was beginning to think that I'd passed my limit and it was about time that it killed me.

"Then what are these?"

The tears from my face lifted and floated as droplets in the air in front of me. Annoyed, I swatted them away. "Stop that!"

A rush of water filtered in from underneath the door, rose, and soaked into the blanket covering the bed. Slowly and awkwardly, the drenched blanket rose up, dripping water on the floor as it moved over. When it was just above me and dripping on top of my head, all the water pulled out of it, leaving the dry blanket to drape across my shoulders.

"Sehun, may I please come in?" Suho asked.

"No."

"Please? Sehun, we need to talk about this."

"About what? About the fact that I'm broken and hardwired to self-destruct?" I gasped back, having a hard time breathing through the sobs. I was half-tempted to spit my gum out and take the breath out of my lungs again, but who knew how long I would get away with that until someone stopped me?

"How about the fact that you're my family and I love you?" Suho shouted.

I paused.

The door clicked as the lock slid out of place and I turned towards it to tell Suho to go away.

But it wasn't Suho who came in; it was Chen.

"Hey,"

I hated that tone of voice. It was grossly sympathetic and I knew he didn't mean it.

Chen stepped closer, continuing anyways, "We all know you can't control it, so you don't have to feel embarrassed. We're all here for you."

"I'm not embarrassed."

"And Kyungsoo's method of stopping you isn't something to be embarrassed about either."

"I'm not embarrassed!" I repeated, though I brought the blanket up to cover my head.

"Hey, as long as it worked, everything is okay, right?" Chen asked, and I felt a light tug on the blanket, but I didn't want to open it up. "Suho wants to know if you're alright. He really does think of you as family-"

Standing and throwing off the blanket, I moved to run out of there, but Chen caught me in his grip, sending a shock to my system by accident.

"We'll help you through this, Sehun. We'll all look after you, like a family should."

I struggled, fighting against his hug. He was stronger than me. Without my power, everyone was always stronger than me.

"Suho already has a favorite son." I said, giving up at last and gritting my teeth against more pain threatening to swallow me up. "I'm not needed."

Chen nodded thoughtfully, arms stilled wrapped snugly around me and my head resting on his shoulder. "But when Suho and I get married, you'll be my son too, right? Who says you aren't my favorite?"

"That is really ing weird." I sniffled. "You guys aren't even that much older than me."

"Shhh..." Chen pat the back of my head gently. "Just go with it. We're all a little ed up here."

"Don't swear."

"Oh, I'm not allowed to swear, but my son is? That isn't right."

"I'm not your son." Quietly sniffing, I added, "You aren't really a sadistic ."

Chen laughed. "And you're not really a brat."

"When did you call me a brat?"

Quickly, he went back to patting the back of my head. "Shhh, doesn't matter." Some time went by and I almost thought I would end up falling asleep standing up when he spoke again. "Suho says that if you won't come to see him, he wants you to at least stick to either Tao or Kyungsoo's side-"

I stiffened. "What?"

"Listen, he's worried about you." Chen said as I pulled away. "He thinks you were trying to kill yourself back there and he wants to make sure that you can be stopped if you ever get those kind of thoughts again. Don't feel too bad, he's telling everyone to stick together, so nobody will suspect a thing if they see you with clinging to those guys. And-" looking uncomfortable, Chen added, "Tao isn't here right now, so you're going to have to make up with Kyungsoo somehow."

I didn't want to be stuck with Tao and his new boyfriend anyways. But the alternative was equally as bad, wasn't it? I made a face at the thought of even seeing Kyungsoo again. That guy stuck his tongue down my throat!

"You can get through one night, right?" Chen asked me, and I looked at him like he was insane.

"You want me to spend the night with him?"

"Everyone's sleeping arrangements have been carefully chosen to minimize accidents. You're not the only one suffering; Kris is being stuck with Luhan and Baekhyun with Lay since he's already blind-"

"Lay is blind?"

Chen looked equally as surprised. "You didn't know that? Anyways, you might want to hurry it up outside before Kyungsoo falls asleep. I don't think he would appreciate it if you woke him up with that kind of news." With a reassuring hand on my shoulder, he added, "Just one night. Endure this for now and I'm sure I can convince Suho to go a little easier on you."

Wiping my eyes, I nodded and left the room with the blanket over my shoulder.

The hallway was empty, as was the living room when I reached it, though voices could be heard arguing from the bedrooms. I ignored the single flickering light above, the water soaked into the carpet, the mess spread about the living room of upturned furniture, and the holes dotted across the walls. What I couldn't ignore was the bright red basket that had been knocked over, it's gum packets spilled across the floor. Silently, I picked them all up and set the basket back upright. These were important. Replacing my old gum with a new mintier piece, I picked up the basket and brought it with me outside.

I found Kyungsoo behind the garage, ripping into the grass against it with his bare hands. "Stupid... ing... grass... blocking... my... dirt..." I heard him mumbling as I got closer.

Crouching next to him, I suggested, "Why don't you get Chanyeol to burn it for you?"

Kyungsoo stood and left without a word, heading inside the garage. I thought he was trying to avoid me when I remembered that Chanyeol always slept in the garage when he stayed at Suho's because the garage was made completely of cement. Sure enough, Kyungsoo came back out with the firestarter in tow.

"You have to be ready to put it out." Chanyeol warned Kyungsoo, who nodded and pointed to the desired area. Bringing up a hand, Chanyeol made a timid little flame held it against a single blade of grass. The grass caught momentarily before fizzling out pitifully.

"Bigger." Kyungsoo prompted with a poke to the kid's shoulder. "Take out a huge patch of it."

Looking worried, Chanyeol tried again with slightly bigger flame and similar results.

"Do you want me to get angry?" Kyungsoo asked, and that seemed to be enough to push Chanyeol into a much bigger flame, one that caught and spread across the ground. Although Chanyeol looked around in fear, Kyungsoo was stone-faced, waiting while the yard was steadily covered in black ash.

"I think you should put it out now-"

Kyungsoo put up a hand. "Not yet."

I couldn't tell what he was waiting for, as it seemed like a huge part of the ground was already cleared of grass. Eventually though, he shifted and closed his upheld hand into a fist, compressing all the accumulated ash into a dark block on the ground. With another movement, he lifted and swirled dirt in the air until it covered and put out the spreading flames. Stepping into the middle of it all, Kyungsoo looked around, seeming to judge the handiwork before deeming it acceptable with a nod. He waved goodbye to us, and then swept an arm up, bringing with it an arc of stone that move up and around him, connecting to the wall of the garage and completely hiding the boy that had stood there.

"'Night, Sehunnie," said Chanyeol with a yawn, stumbling over with a quick hug before heading back towards the garage.

Well, now what? I slowly walked the perimeter of the stone room Kyungsoo had made, noticing a curious stream of light coming from the top, but no openings anywhere else. That had to be a hole for air, right? So he could breathe? Well, if air was what he wanted, he was going to get it.

I climbed up the structure easily as it's surface wasn't smooth enough for me to slip and found exactly what I'd been looking for at the top: a hole where light from a small lantern was shining through. Directly below the hole was Kyungsoo sitting cross-legged with something that glittered in his hands.

"What's that?" I asked.

Startled, he looked up and closed a fist, effectively closing up the hole above and shutting me out. Less than a second later, I heard a movement to my left and spotted a new ray of light coming from that direction. Dropping to the ground and walking over, I discovered a new hole that had been made. Looking through, I could see that glittering thing again, so I reached in and grabbed it.

"What is this?" I asked again, but was again shut out. Well, except for my arm. My right arm was stuck where the hole had been, the thing - a hard thing - still stuck in it's grasp. I felt something, probably Kyungsoo's hand, rip it from my fingers.

"It's a crystal." I heard him say, though barely, as the amount of rock between us muffled his voice considerably. "Now go away."

"I can't." I said back. "Suho says we're roommates for the night."

"I don't want a roommate!"

"I don't either."

"Then go away!"

"My arm is stuck." I pointed out. A second passed and then the hole opened up again, but instead of pulling away, I rushed to push myself through, only managing to get in up to my chest before it closed off around me again. "Cool." I said, looking around and seeing many little glittering crystals strewn about the dirt floor of a surprisingly large room.

"Why didn't you leave?" Kyungsoo asked, his eyes big and bright in the dim lighting.

"Suho said-"

"I don't care what Suho said. Leave."

The hole around me opened and a block of dirt pushed me outside the room, leaving me tumbling over the ground. Seeing a new hole opened up on the side, I reached it, only to be, once again, shut out.

"I'm suicidal." I confessed to the rock wall in front of me, losing the will to keep fighting my way in. I could feel it again, the all-encompassing pain from before telling me that I was all alone and no one would care if I disappeared. Sitting up against the rock wall, I looked around the dark yard with wet eyes and wondered why Chen would lie to me about everyone being there for me. Probably to make Suho happy, I reasoned. But then, why would Suho be happy?

The rock wall at my back disappeared and I fell backward onto the ground with a thud.

"Don't you ing joke about that." said an upside-down Kyungsoo.

My breath was coming up in smaller puffs, signalling that I'd be really crying, and soon. "I need help." I admitted, trying to hold it back as much as I could.

Kyungsoo's eyes changed, just slightly. He swiped a hand in the air and all his crystals gathered into one place against the wall. "Sleep on that side." he ordered, pointing to a bare area of dirt. "Don't touch anything and don't make mud."

"Mud?"

"Mud." he repeated, pointing to a couple dark spots on the ground next to my head. "I can't move mud as easily as dirt, so don't make it."

I twisted and recognized the spots to be tears. So I didn't manage to stop the tears like I thought. Sniffling, I got up and brought my basket and blanket inside, arranging the latter into a sleeping bag-like shape by folding it in half.

"You'll get too hot." Kyungsoo commented, his whole body turned towards a blank rock wall as he contemplated it. "Chanyeol always sleeps towards the back of the garage, so it'll get plenty warm in here soon."

Ignoring this, I settled into the blanket before remembering to grab a packet of gum out of the basket and toss it Kyungsoo's way.

"I don't want any of your damn gum."

"It's not for you." I explained. "It's so I don't have to be anywhere near your lips again. You know, you could have stuck your fingers in my mouth instead-"

"My hands were dirty." Kyungsoo seethed, the back of his neck turning red in the lantern light.

"Your lips were dirtier." I shot back.

"Then next time I'll spare you and let you die!"

"Good." I choked out, burying my face in blankets as the pain rose up again. "It's what I wanted anyways."

"Hey." Something small, like a thrown crystal, bounced off the blanket. I ignored it. "Hey. Don't make mud."

"I'm not making mud." I sniffled.

"You're making mud."

"No, I'm not."

The blanket was ripped open from my face, exposing my tear-stained cheeks. "Yes, you are." Kyungsoo stated, shoving a glittery something in my hands before tossing the blanket over my head again. "Play with this and stop making mud." he ordered.

I turned the object over in my hands, opening the blanket to allow light to catch it's faceted shape. It was a light-colored crystal shaped perfectly like a five-pointed star. Looking around, I found many more of these on the ground. Confused, I turned to ask Kyungsoo what they were for when I saw for myself.

One by one, Kyungsoo was moving these stars through the air and setting them into the rock wall, creating a sparkling skyscape in the rough stone. I watched him artfully dot the ceiling and surrounding walls, too intrigued to remember my pain. When it was all done, Kyungsoo rubbed his fingers over the block of ash he had created and set them to the wall of the garage, making long smudges of black across the cement. Getting curious, I reached to touch my own fingers to the block, only to have it suddenly scoot across the dirt out of reach.

"That is my ash. Don't you touch my ash."

Lifting my hands in defense, I settled back into my blanket and watched him turn back around to his drawing.

The drawing took a long time to complete, but I couldn't sleep anyways, so I watched every minute of it's creation while running my fingers over my crystal star. The room slowly began to get warm, and as it did, I could see Kyungsoo working slower until he stopped altogether and laid down in his favorite patch of dirt, falling asleep rather quickly with smudges of ash and dirt blotched all down his arms and his clothes as well as across his cheeks.

I couldn't resist. I got up and reached straight for the ash block, coating my fingers and adding to the drawing Kyungsoo had made.

Who draws a tree without leaves? The grand and complicated tree Kyungsoo had drawn had beautifully curved branches, but every single one was bare of any kind of life. Drawing each individual leaf would take too long, so I drew a big puffy line around all the branches, creating a very full and leafy tree in one simple move. I was pretty proud of it and immediately added grass around it's roots because I knew it would piss Kyungsoo off. For the hell of it I even added a simple flower shooting up from the ground next to it.

By this time, It was getting really late, and I turned away from the drawing to debate whether or not to go to sleep.

But the sleeping form laying right there in front of me gave me a better idea. Crawling over, I wrote across the teen's forehead.

Ash-hole

Before my laughter could give me away, I scrambled out of the room and headed back inside the house to calm down with a glass of water before bed.

"Sehun?"

Half-way through my glass, I stopped, turning to see Lay standing there in the kitchen behind me, looking sleepy.

"Lay." I greeted. This guy was supposed to be blind? Lay seemed to be exactly the same as before...

"Are you having trouble sleeping? Your hormones suggest you are in need of rest."

"Can you knock me out?"

"I don't know if that's a good idea." he said, rubbing at the back of his neck. "But I know how to give your hormones a push in the right direction. Follow me." Abruptly, he turned and walked straight into the island counter with an, "ooph!"

"Follow you? Should I run into that thing too?" I asked, smiling when Lay began to laugh at his own mistake. I watched him feel around the counters with both hands, likely trying to figure out his surroundings again, and I wondered why I didn't notice this kind of behavior before. Taking pity, I grabbed both his arms and guided him to turn the right way around to get out of the kitchen. "Where are we going, Lay?"

"Living room."

Confused, I brought him there, only to see Kris tied up to the couch using what looked to be overgrown houseplants. How did I not see this walking in the house?

"The hell kind of is this?" I whispered. "Aren't you supposed to be rooming with Baekhyun?"

"Me and Luhan came to an agreement."

"You blackmailed him, didn't you?"

"All I said was that I would reveal who was the manliest here based off of testerone levels and vitality." Lay said with a dimpled smile, beginning to fumble to pull back blankets on the floor that covered a thin floor mattress. I stepped in to help. "I guess he didn't want to hear the truth. Alright, lay down."

Obeying, I slid under the covers and waited for him to do his magic to help me fall asleep, but instead of giving me tips or singing lullabies or some , he went and climbed in next to me.

"Hold on," I said, scooting over to make room. "This is your method of helping me sleep? Cuddling?"

"Physical touch is a powerful thing." Lay explained, adjusting into a comfortable position on his pillow. "It makes your brain release oxytocin which can not only calm you down and help you sleep, but it also helps improve your immune system, helps you bond with others, and more importantly, it reduces mental stress. You're okay now, but your cortisol levels were pretty high today, so cuddling is exactly what you need, Se-" he yawned widely and draped an arm over my waist. "-hun..."

"I was joking about the cuddling."

"I wasn't." he said with an amused laugh that showed glinting teeth. "Sleep eases the mind, so get lots of it..."

Why would Lay care about my mental health? Just as I wondered why Chen would lie to me, I wondered about this too, and the same answer came up. Probably to make Suho happy. But why would Suho be happy? He was only pretending to care about me. I didn't know why, as I didn't have anything to offer, no redeeming qualities or even money... Why would he want me to keep living as this monster inside me destroyed everything in reach?

The answer was right there at the edges of my conscious mind, but I was so warm and sleepy that it hardly mattered. My mind quickly chose to pick the easy path and simply shut down for the night.

***

Author Note:

I actually did it. And this chapter is long too (though that was by accident)!

I feel like a winner :3

Though poor Sehunnie; no one should have to feel like that. This is part of what the wolf said about fear consuming them, remember?

Anyways, I'm kind of on a roll, so I'm gonna see if I can churn anything else out this week. I'm determined. *self-satisfied nod*