Kai's POV

Time stood still and I knew right away what was happening.

Zitao always turned the world into a beautifully fragile and picturesque place when his mind was blank from panic or surprise. Why didn't he get that this was his trigger? If he only knew this himself, he could harness the right energy and master this ability in literally no time at all. But of course I couldn't tell him this; it would only make it more difficult. I knew from experience just how difficult it was when you were told your trigger. You obsess and nitpick when all you have to do is let go and feel it.

But now time wasn't moving, evident from the frozen dust particles, the people caught outside, the smoke that wasn't billowing from the back of an old car. I knew the reason. Zitao's mind was blank and it was because of Oh Sehun.

I knew I was fighting a losing race right from the start. I knew it, but nothing prepared me for the pain. I thought I could handle it better than this. I just hope he didn't see the tears before I teleported away.

The shadows took me just outside the shop, the closest they could get to the building, which happened to be a very poky, now very flattened, bush growing against the back wall.

The fatigue of using my power so much kept me there, long after I heard them leave. The fatigue of rejection kept me there even longer. I watched insects fly lazily about their day as they ignored the crying giant crashed in their home. Sorry, bugs. I needed to borrow it for a while longer. I just couldn't move yet.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, but I wanted to wallow away from the world even longer, maybe until I died or at least gotten a good sunburn to remind me never to fall in love.

I sighed. It could be important. Chanyeol could've set a hospital on fire for all I knew.

Looking at the screen, no, Chanyeol did not set something on fire. Sehun was telling me (quite impolitely) that they were heading back to school so they didn't seem suspicious. I didn't know why he bothered to say anything. It had nothing to do with me; I ditched going to my school today. I was free until after the weekend when school started up again. I was free to lay here until Monday if I wanted to. That didn't sound too bad too.

From the very first time I heard an admiring voice and located the source to be someone so intensely gorgeous that they looked out of place on this planet, I felt a twinge pulling at my heart. I could feel that I was supposed to meet him. It felt like destiny, as strange as that sounds.

I wondered if he noticed how happy I was when I heard that I was the first to make him laugh in our group. I doubted it; he was busy looking at Sehun. From then, I had been hoping to make a lot of firsts with Tao. It would have been so easy too; he never let himself do anything. I could tell that I was his first kiss, feeling the inexperience turn into beautiful instinct, and touching him had so quickly turned into an addiction. Seeing how guarded he was against me, I knew I should have held back more - I should have slowed things down, but I panicked when it felt like everyone was closing in on what was supposed to be my fate.

Look at me now. Moping in the bushes while he was probably being snuggled by the nosy, nature-freak thief. We used to be good friends, but what the hell? Sehun couldn't let me be happy? I knew I didn't go to the same school as him and that bummed him out, but Suho had said he heard rumors of possible students with abilities elsewhere. One of us had to go, and I was the only one who could travel back and forth between buildings to keep in touch.

I was done. I couldn't lay here anymore. The tears had dried and my muscles weren't aching as much. School was just about ending and if I walked part of the way, I could pop in on Kyungsoo before he caught the bus. He always had good advice and words of encouragement.

Letting my legs carry me on autopilot was a bad idea. They were set on running, using any means to distract my head from thinking about the rejection. I didn't need to run; I would be on time either way, but my body needed to run. By the time I let the shadows take me to the bus stop, I was panting and my legs were spent. I fell to my knees on the hard pavement, chest heaving for air.

Kyungsoo stood by the bench, already dressed out of his uniform into something simple that he didn't mind getting dirty. “Damn it, Jongin. You should text first. Anyone could have seen you...” he said, trailing off and taking in my disheveled state. I'm sure my eyes were swollen and red, my clothes covered in little leaves and twigs, my hair sticking out in weird places. “I take it the nickname idea didn't work.”

It had been Kyungsoo's idea to ask for a nickname, saying it would create a feeling of closeness. The idea was sound, but I didn't think anything could have been done to change Tao's mind. I shook my head at him, stopping to comb the debris from my hair as my breathing slowed.

He picked a burr off of my jacket and pulled me to my feet. My legs weren't happy to be supporting my weight again and I swayed a little on the spot. “Go sit on the bench before you collapse.”

I obeyed, looking down at my hands as I thought how to explain the day's events.

“You were rejected?” Kyungsoo guessed, settling down beside me.

I nodded.

“And you're wearing a new uniform, so Chanyeol caused an accident again and you visited Suho.”

Again, I nodded.

“You used your power too much and ended up in the bushes?”

“You know me too well.”

“I spend every day with you. I'm bound to learn something.” he chuckled softly. Grabbing a hand I left abandoned on my lap with both hands and patting the back in comfort, he asked, “Was it worth it, pursuing this Tao?”

Was it worth it? It felt like an automatic no, given that my efforts all went to waste, but after some thought... I discovered some amazing things in that short time and the memories made were fantastic, simply out of this world. Everything about him was beautiful from the his incredible power to the innocent, shy kid with so much acceptance and care in his heart.

“It was worth it.” Because I had to try.

Kyungsoo sighed. “How did you even manage to fall so fast? I can't understand it.”

“I'd like to know that myself.” I responded, seeing the bus draw near in the distance. “Something about him... just struck a chord- I don't know. Your bus is here.”

Standing up as it stopped, he turned back to me. “Come with me?”

He was going out to an old baseball field that hadn't been used in years to practice his power. I wasn't needed there, but I guessed he thought I needed him still. He was probably right.

“Sure.” I agreed, following him onto the sputtering bus.

***

“-” I teleported as yet another rock nearly took off my head. “-ing , Kyungsoo! Can you try not to aim at me, please?”

“It's kind of hard when you're moping in the middle of my dirt.” he retorted, rolling up his sleeves to try again. He was pulling the loose soil together until it was packed down hard like a perfect rock and pelting them in different directions. I didn't see how any of this was helping him hone in on his abilities, given how disorganized the whole idea was.

“Is this even helping at all?” I asked for maybe the fourth or fifth time. It really looked like a child having a snowball fight against an army of invisible combatants using rock and dirt instead of ice.

Kyungsoo didn't answer, tossing a couple of the rocks nearby. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. “If you don't want some serious bruising, you might want to go sit on the benches.” he warned, heart-shaped lips pulling into a crooked smirk.

Bruising? Was all this just the preparation then? He could've said something!

Something about the aura the small student was giving off felt threatening and the ground rumbled just slightly with his breathing. The rocks he had made were shaking and shifting. In one swift action, Kyungsoo opened his eyes, stomped down on the ground, and stuck his arms out, throwing the rocks up into the air where they stayed, dropping little pieces here and there, as if awaiting instructions. He rose slowly from his stomping position and lifted his arms. The rocks followed and rose with them.

This was the first time I had seen him practice in two years, as even though Chanyeol only recently began working on his power, Kyungsoo had messed around with dirt for as long as I've known him. But it was the first time I'd seen his power so strong. This wasn't anything like the small tricks we played on each other at school. Kyungsoo was dangerous. I gripped the edge of the bench, hoping against hope that I'd be able to get away in time if he slipped up.

With waves of his arms, the dirt rocks spun fast around each other in a whirling tornado that looked like it could destroy a small town. How did he keep them from falling out of pattern and colliding with one another?

He favored one of the rocks and brought it to his hand, tossing it up and down idly while the earth tornado ripped through the air. With an excited smile, he chucked the rock into the vortex and took out the flying objects one by one, using a new rock from the circle each time until they were all just clumps of dirt on the ground again.

Kyungsoo was just so tiny. You wouldn't think someone so small had so much strength in him.

Jogging up to him, I saw that he hadn't even broken out in sweat. He was just the same as ever, only covered in a thin layer of dust and scratched in a few places I supposed were from stray pebbles caught in the momentum. I searched my pockets for a tissue before remembering that I was wearing a new uniform. This must've happened before though, as Kyungsoo came prepared and pulled out a packet of his own tissues from his back pocket, dabbing away at the small points of blood.

“This one is bleeding a lot.” I told him, pointing to a spot on his cheek. He nodded and took care of it, wincing a little. “You practice like this often? Is that why you come to school some days looking like a mummy?”

“I'm getting hit by them less than I use to. If I keep working, I won't have to deal with these cuts and bruises at all.”

“Bruises? Where?”

“I think one clipped me in the shoulder-” he pulled at his collar until he could see a faint mark blooming on his skin. “and on the leg.” he checked this too and I couldn't help but notice a number of fading and new marks up down this one leg. He was really working hard on his power.

“Isn't there an easier way to train that won't make you look like you're being abused?” I asked.

“There is,” he admitted, rolling his pant leg down. “but this way is the most effective. Besides, if anything really bad happened and I had to save everyone from a horrible monster or something, wouldn't this tornado-thing come in handy?”

I guessed I understood the thought. After all, if people with abilities existed, what else was lurking in the depths of this world? Still... it looked painful.

“So, are you done for the day?” This hadn't taken nearly as long as I thought. Kyungsoo was known in school for always sticking to one thing for hours at a time if left to his own devices. He often read books all at once or not at all.

“You kidding? I'm just getting started.”

“But you're cut to shreds!”

“This is barely anything. I normally do about two to four rounds of this, depending on how bad the damage is since I'm not really needed at home.”

“Do you never tire out?” I asked, amazed.

Kyungsoo shook his head. “My power doesn't wear me down physically. If I ever tire, it's because I'm tired of standing around, throwing things.”

If my ability didn't tire me out, I'd probably become fat after refusing to walk anywhere at all. Maybe it was a good thing my weakness existed, but I couldn't say the same for Kyungsoo's weakness. It hurt to think about the number of days he's been out here, enduring the hits just in case something horrid existed.

“You should try layering up or wearing armor.” I suggested eagerly, feeling like this idea was perfect and useful and-

“I've tried,” he sighed, shaking his head. “with bandages and extra clothes... They limit my movement and cause more mistakes, bigger ones.”

Bigger ones. What kind of bigger ones?

Looking at this small guy, really looking at him, I could feel the reserved strength and determination with every move of his body. Why couldn't I see it before? Before now, all I saw was the delicate side of him that seemed to cherish too much of the world. This... this was something different that challenged the world to fight and fight dirty if it could.

“So,” he said, interrupting my observations. “As long as we're taking a break, your one-sided love-”

“Don't bring that up again.” I begged.

Please. Save it for when I'm already over it so you won't see me break down.

“I want to know more though. You've told me far too often how much you loved him, but are you sure you didn't just- I don't know- think he was hot?”

“Excuse me?”

“That wasn't supposed to be nearly as offensive as it came out. It's not like I think you're shallow or something.” Kyungsoo quickly apologized. “You know, you just look like you have a lot on your mind anyways and since I'm willing to listen-” He sat down right in the dirt, a cloud of dust lifting at the sudden action, and patted the ground in front of him.

Giving myself a once-over, I was already covered in dirt anyways. I sat down in the loose earth and silently worried over how much of my vulnerable side I was going to have to show before he was satisfied. I could easily say it was none of his business and walk away, but I did trust him and he wasn't one to judge without all the facts. Walking away would strain our friendship. We were all we had at school.

Just keep telling yourself that, Jongin.

“Tao.” Kyungsoo started, gathering his questions up almost audibly.

“Huang Zitao, yes.”

He nodded and raised an eyebrow. “Is he hot?”

“Kyungsoo-”

“I have to ask.” he shrugged. “You never know your true feelings until you dish out everything.”

I sighed inwardly. This was going to be embarrassing as well as heartbreaking, wasn't it? “He's-” got perfect darkened skin and long eyelashes? Has a nicely toned body with smooth muscles and boy-ish features with feline points that look their cutest when he's confused? “hot, yes.” I admitted.

Let's keep it simple. Minimize the tears by keeping detached.

Nodding, Kyungsoo continued. “Okay, so you appreciate his looks. Tell me more about him though. Ah, what do you know about him that makes you think he's a good person?”

Everything about him screamed “good person”. I could hear it in his gentle voice and cautious word choices and see it in his sincere smiles. There was a little curiosity in him dying to get out, but Zitao looked like the type who had been good all his life and simply didn't know how to explore further without holding himself back.

Simple. Keep it simple. Don't dwell on this or think too deeply.

“Tao... just is a good person. It's deep within the coding of his brain.”

Kyungsoo ran a soil-smudged hand through his hair. “You're killing me here, Jongin- no, Kai.” I flinched at the nickname. I wanted nothing to do with it right now. It did nothing to help me in the end except serve as a reminder that I tried and failed. “If you can't be honest, how are you ever going to move on? Let it out. All of it. Are you sure you even liked this guy?”

“I know it was real.” I snapped, feeling like he was pushing me into a corner.

“Then show it and dig deeper!”

“It hurts to dig deeper,” I said, voice cracking. He let me take a few moments to calm down until I could continue with tears pushed back and an even voice. “Don't make me try. Please. Can't you just trust me and know that I mean what I say? You didn't see what I saw, couldn't feel everything I felt with him.”

“That's why I'm asking you to tell me.” Kyungsoo said calmly, the perfect substitute therapist. “I can't hear your thoughts, Kai. I can't help you if you aren't totally upfront with everything. Tell me everything and anything that comes to mind.” He looked at me with unblinking eyes.

“If I cry, I'm blaming you and you aren't allowed to take pictures.” I sniffed, waiting for his response. He rolled his eyes and nodded, so I began to formulate what to say. “The first thing that comes to mind is beauty, but not like you think. There is so much beauty in the way he values other people's feelings. In... in the end, he even tried to apologize for not choosing me...”

Seeing I wasn't progressing, Kyungsoo prompted me on, “Uh... Tell me about the first kiss. You were so excited at school that all your words ran together. I couldn't understand any of it.”

“Sorry...” I cleared the lump in my throat and tried again. “Tao hasn't dated much, maybe even at all. He doesn't even watch .” The laugh that issued from my mouth was weighed down with the onslaught of memories.

“Doesn't even watch ... Keep going, this is interesting.” he waved me on.

“He's just- He's innocent, so when I saw someone else holding him, I took him away to erase the memory, 'cause you know it would've stuck around.” Kyungsoo nodded. “This was when I confessed, and I was shaky all over and it's like the energy in my legs was draining as I stood there, but he looked flawless in that light, I swear. When I kissed him, I kept it simple because I was so... scared. I thought he'd reject me straight away, which he almost did. But all the fear melted away- Kyungsoo, you should've seen it- The whole forest went completely silent and still. It was like being inside a snowglobe. The light was different and everything felt fragile-”

“But this-”

“I'm not done. Tao started time again and I was suddenly covered in goosebumps. They were prickling my arms, my cheeks, my neck... My skin felt sensitive all over, and I just sort of went for it when he wasn't resisting...”

“You went for it.” His tone was judging and harsh. Why? What I did was a bit stupid, but it wasn't worth the amount of contempt he was showing for it.

“I needed him to remember me-”

“And taking his first kiss wasn't going to do that? You had to take his second too?”

And his third, but who was counting?

Ignoring this, I went on. “Anyways, I pushed it too far after that so he couldn't take me seriously and now I'm sitting in the dirt spilling my guts out-”

“Tell me more about the rejection.” he broke in, serious.

“I-I can't, Kyungsoo.”

“Come on, it'll be easy.” he insisted. “If you really liked him, the words should come easy to you.”

I couldn't do it. Re-living the moments while they were so vivid... I didn't want to think about any of it right now. “I'm sorry-”

My words were cut off when Kyungsoo suddenly tackled me flat in the dirt, effectively pinning me down, restricting my arms. This made it impossible to avoid his gaze, and temporarily woke me up from the feelings of loss and regret that threatened to drown me.

“What are you doing?” I wished could rub the back of my head where it hit the ground. That hurt. “I'm not in the mood for a rebound.” I stated, only partially joking. This position was a little too intimate to suit my misery.

“Don't test me, Kim Jongin.” Kyungsoo warned, eyes, normally a beautiful full brown color, darkening to black. What the- “I've tried being patient,” Loose stones and dry soil was shaking as the ground rumbled beneath us.

When had Kyungsoo become like this? I swore he'd never been this way with me before.

“F-fine, you win.” I stuttered. My chest was pounding. His new strength (though it was only new to me) was scaring me. Just how much damage was he capable of?

The black drained away from his eyes, the rumbling stopped, and he smiled the same way he did when I gave him his birthday present a few months back.

“Aren't you going to move?” I asked when he showed no signs of doing so.

He shook his head and sat up, heavy on my stomach.

my lips nervously, I said, “You want me to spill my guts with you in my face like this? There will be tears, you realize-”

He wasn't moving and I thought I could see the black returning to the edges of brown in his eyes. Why was this so important to him?

“F-fine.” I took a deep breath, though the weight pressing on my torso made it difficult. “I... I thought maybe that Baekhyun kid from his biology class was the one to watch, but the real culprit was Oh Sehun.”

“Sehun? That brat is the one that Tao picked? Is he stupid, or nuts?”

“Right?” I said, giving a weak smile. “He always looked at Sehun. I'd find him glancing more at him, speaking more with him... Today, I did what I could to distance him from anyone who threatened to take him away from me. I probably just annoyed him. In the end... It didn't- It didn't matter. Everything I tried, everything I felt.” My lips pulled back over my teeth in an attempt to choke out a sob, but I bit them back. “None of it mattered.”

“Is being beaten by Sehun what's getting to you the most?” asked Kyungsoo, eyes glinting with something I didn't understand. What was he thinking? “I'm still not convinced you actually liked the guy.”

“I love Tao. Love, as in present tense. I don't think I'll ever stop loving him, but that doesn't mean if he doesn't even like me back. Every second of every day, I just want to hear his voice and see him laugh. I want to show him new things and give him a lot of different firsts, but I guess now he-” My voice wouldn't work anymore through the strain of keeping back tears, though plenty leaked through anyways and slid down into my hairline. It was really annoying to cry laying down, especially with Do Kyungsoo observing me from my stomach. No amount of turning could hide the tears or pained expressions I tried to stop. “He can-” The words wouldn't come out.

“He can what?”

I took deep, shuddering breaths, trying to calm down. “He can go learn from Sehunnie now.” Kyungsoo let go of one of my squirming arms and I tried in vain to wipe away wetness of tear stains, sniffing. “Why does this hurt so much? I barely got to know him, barely got to try to know him. Maybe I deserve to hurt like this for clinging so seriously to feelings I created by myself. Tao was just too nice to turn me down when I kept pushing at him to consider me.”

“You've never fallen so fast before...” Kyungsoo helped wipe away the tears, though he probably just smeared dirt all over my face in the process. “Who knows? Maybe Tao will realize Sehun is a huge brat and leave him.”

“That shouldn't make me feel better,” I laughed tiredly. “But it kind of does.” Sehun was lucky and I didn't even know if he realized just how much. Tao felt like my destiny, but I guessed now I'd have to live off the path my heart wanted to take and just live quietly.

And I could still visit him. It wasn't like Tao would no longer be in my life. I'd see him smile and laugh... for Sehun.

“Why are you upset again?” worried the boy on my stomach. “Come on, I can't hear your thoughts!”

“You're heavy!” I answered instead, summoning the shadows and letting them take me as far as they could - which turned out to be a couple meters to the right. I stood there shakily before laying back down in the dirt.

“That's not a good place to sulk, Kai. I need to practice and you're bound to get pummeled where you are.”

I raced back to the benches, feeling drained in every way and planning to nap my life without Tao away while Kyungsoo practiced his weird rock tornado.