Tao's POV

I woke up with a gasp from a painful shock to my forehead.

“I'm sorry! I just wanted to brush away your bangs. They looked uncomfortable and your eye was twitching so, yeah...” said a friendly face laced with worry.

“Chen?” I asked, slowly blinking away sleep to find that I was still in my Joonma's room. It had become very dark out and the only person I could see in the dim light of a single lamp was Chen, all soft brown curls and curvy (apologetic) smiles. “Where's Lay?”

“He just left to go home. He asked that I stay here instead. Is that okay with you?”

“Yeah, sure.” I grunted, making room for him on the bed, forgetting that we've only just met and that this was a little weird in my sleepy state. Perhaps he forgot too, as he didn't hesitate to climb up next to me and even wiggled under the covers. “Goodnight.” I said as the lamp was turned off.

“Wait, Tao,”

“Mmm?”

Chen exhaled deeply before speaking quietly. “You know, I wasn't entirely joking when I asked you to give Suho a kiss for me.”

Well, now he had my attention. “What do you mean?” I asked, searching his face in the dark and wishing I could see his expression.

“I owe him a lot and I really want to do something for him back. Suho took me in under his wing when I had nobody else.” He pulled the blankets up to his chin and continued, “The problem is, the only thing he wants is to be loved. He already has material things and good, crazy friends. His parents are never around. They always give him what he asks for, so they must like him to some degree, but that isn't love. He craves love; I'm sure of it.”

“And that love has to come from me?”

“Yes.”

That wasn't the answer I was hoping for. Sehun, Kai, Joonma. Three people. Three whole people with very real feelings. At least two of these three were going to be hurt because of me. There were plenty of great people around us, so why were so many coming to me? Yixing mentioned a harem. This was getting out of hand.

“Are you absolutely sure?” I asked him seriously. “Because I'm giving up on love. It's driving me crazy.”

“You can't-”

“Listen, Chen, it sounds to me like you care about Joonmyeon. Maybe instead you could be the one to love him. I mean, there are different kinds of love, or if you think you could like him yourself in the future-”

“I do like him.” he admitted, cutting me off. “But he's already got you in sight. He doesn't want me.”

I sighed against my pillow, wishing I wasn't hearing this. “Maybe he just doesn't know that he's allowed to want you. You know, some people go after the love they think they deserve rather than the love they want. Joonmyeon might think that he deserves me, so he doesn't let himself think about anyone else.”

“Then what am I supposed to do?” There was a glint of light and I could tell that he was looking at me through the dark.

“Remind him of how great he is. It should be easy; in all the time we spent together as kids, he would always put everyone else before himself. I think that name 'Suho' really suits him.”

“You know, I heard some of those stories and I think that was exclusive to you.”

“It can't be,” I whined into my pillow. “Joonma deserves better than to be caught up in my confusion!”

“Forget about what he deserves for a second...” Chen whispered. “Do you like him?” he asked this slowly, and I could tell he was scared from his voice. “Would you return his feelings?”

For this answer, surprisingly, I didn't need to think too much about it. I felt bad, but if I was being honest...

“No.” I admitted in a rush of breath. “He was my best friend when we were kids and sometimes a naggy mother. I definitely love him, but not romantically. I don't think I can like him that way; it would just be... strange. I can't picture it.”

What was I going to do? Turning down my Joonma was going to be really painful. What if it made him hate me?

A sharp shock against my arm broke through my thoughts.

“I'm sorry! Uhm, if you hold my hand, that won't happen again. I know it's weird, but-”

Sparing no time, I cautiously poked the silhouette of his hand before taking it up. Getting shocked in the middle of the night was really annoying.

Chen had Joonmyeon. This action wouldn't add to the “harem of suitors”.

I hoped. I really, really hoped.

Before he could say goodnight again, I asked what Joonmyeon had done for him, hoping it was strong enough that I wouldn't have to worry about gaining another admirer I really didn't need.

Chen cleared his throat a little and began, “My parents were already really afraid of me. Lightning and electricity in general is very hard to control; it doesn't move in perfect lines where I want it to go. Instead, my power just reacts to the environment and flares out when and where it wants to...” Time was very similar, but I liked to think that I was getting better with it. The longer I listened, the more his ability sounded... chaotic.

Continuing, he described a day where the air was very dry and cold and there was nothing he could do to control the sharp electric buzz that followed him everywhere. It was like his every skin cell was charged with energy. His father was struck and half their kitchen destroyed when he was finally kicked out and never allowed to return.

“I went to the beach so I wouldn't run into anyone. Everyone I came even close to was in danger. At that beach, Suho found me and I was yelling at him to stay away so he wouldn't get hurt. I thought I would kill him. He stood right in front of me and he wasn't even a little scared. Suho took my hand,” Chen chuckled and his hand squeezed mine. “And all the energy spread out between us. It didn't affect him at all. I guess electricity just really likes water. Besides being the nicest person I've ever met, Suho makes me feel safe and grounded. I want to be more like him.”

When he laughed awkwardly and we said goodnight, I couldn't help but smile. This was exactly the kind of romance Joonmyeon deserved. I wouldn't have to worry, leaving my Joonma in this guy's care.

***

A normal day. How I missed normalcy. Sure, I was woken up by my Joonma while still holding hands with a sleeping Chen and that was pretty awkward, but the rest of the day had been so nice and average. I didn't influence time by accident!

This morning, I went to school and was ignored. There were whispers, but much less than before, oddly enough. We must have not been interesting anymore, like old news. Chanyeol hadn't shown up to any classes so far, and Baekhyun hesitated a long while, but eventually went to our shared classes in a moody, light-less state.

So far, I hadn't seen both Sehun and Kai. I was relieved.

That was a lie. I was worried sick. They weren't hurt, were they? They weren't off causing trouble for each other? My texts to them were left unanswered as of yet.

Lunch came around and Kris decided to teach me some of the rules of basketball so I could have some idea what to do during tryouts after school. It was kind of fun, I'll admit. The adrenaline rush and cool air of the gym as we shed our jackets and started to get into the game was like a drug that dispersed away all my worries and stress. Even better, on the stands eating the lunch I prepared, Luhan did a lot of noisy cheering and booing, secretly trying to cheat for me by moving the ball just slightly in my favor.

“You can't do that!” Kris called up to him after a really obvious one meter jump the ball made to go in the hoop.

Too busy laughing at them, I didn't hear the door open and was taken aback when Baekhyun suddenly appeared in front of me with a look of determination. A startled, “Baek” was all I managed to get out before he pulled down my neck and stood on his toes to plant his lips on mine.

It was over with quickly and all I could think was, what just happened?

“Why can't I love you instead?!” Baekhyun all but yelled before flinging his arms around me and crying at my chest.

Vaguely, I registered that Kai was here in the gym, looking like he was having a mental breakdown, but honestly, I was in the middle of my own mental breakdown.

Wasn't I hallucinating? Dreaming? Going nuts? Baekhyun just came out of nowhere and kissed me. Holy crap. What was going on with my life right now? Years of no dates and no feelings whatsoever and now...

Wait, when did Kai even get here?

But seriously, Baekhyun just kissed me.

“W-Wha-” Oh god, I couldn't even speak. I was just staring at the sobbing mess clinging to me, wondering what was going on without being able to ask.

“Baekhyun, what- uhm...?”

Thank you, Kris for at least getting a full word out. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Hiccuping, the boy answered into my shirt, “Chanyeol came to school a few minutes ago in some other guy's car and he - hic! - hugged him really close and for a really long time before going into the building.”

“Xiumin!” exclaimed Luhan, dashing out the door without explaining anything.

“I just – hic! – want things to be simple! I should've fallen for Tao, but that stupid – hic! – bright smile and stupid dorky ears and stupid-”

“Baek,” I stopped him. “Falling for me would've been the least simple path.”

“No kidding.” came Kai's choked voice from where he had flopped to the ground, hair disheveled from being pulled in exasperation. “The worst part is, I knew it would be him. I knew he would come and ruin everything eventually.”

I apologized to Kris, who was looking pretty bummed about our lesson being interrupted, and brought Baekhyun to sit on the stands. Little streams of lights would run across his skin every now and then as he confessed to wanting to run to his traitorous boyfriend to see if he was alright.

“One day. We had one really great day and all I can think about is him. Tao, I think I'm really pathetic.”

“It's not pathetic.” said Kai before anyone else could say anything. He wandered over and sat down heavily next to the boy, looking at him with a dopey grin that didn't reach his eyes. “Or if it is, then we're in the same boat. Let's be pathetic buddies, especially if that will get you off Tao.”

“Does this make me a part of the Nauseating Club?” Baekhyun sniffed.

“Oh, don't remind me of that.” I groaned, sitting on the gym floor. “That was really mean. I didn't think Sehun even knew such harsh insults. I mean, he acts like a porcupine, but he's really just a soft kitten on the inside.”

Kai shook his head at this. “It seems that way, but little Sehunnie has been dealt a lot of to deal with just like the rest of us. If anything, his outer layer is porcupine, his middle layer is soft kitten, and his inner core is a cornered wolf.”

“Wolf?” I thought aloud. “Maybe we're all a little like wolves.”

“What makes you say that?” asked Kris, joining our little circle.

“Go away,” Baekhyun sniffled. “You aren't a part of the club.”

“I am.” was the reply, a little soft. “I like someone I have no business liking.”

“Is it Lay?” I guessed. He just stared at me and I took that as a yes. Why he thought he wasn't allowed to like Yixing, I had no idea, but it's not like I could say anything about Lay liking him back. It wasn't my secret to tell. “Anyways, the wolf in our dreams is one thing, but have you noticed that everyone else in our group has no other friends? You know, normal ones? We're all lone wolves and it's kind of like we're forming a pack.”

Kai hummed as he digested this idea and Kris blinked a few times before nodding.

“And we're looking for mates. Soulmates.” Baekhyun spat out bitterly, wiping at his eyes. “I think I'm giving up on love.”

“Me too.” said Me and Kris in unison, surprising each other.

Wordlessly, we all looked to Kai, who hadn't said anything.

“Hey, I'm still clinging onto my non-existent hope here.” he said finally, putting his hands to his chest as if he felt personally offended. “No amount of peer-pressure is going change my mind. One day, Tao, you are going to genuinely love me and not just because you're nice and you pity me, but because you like everything about me.”

Baekhyun scoffed. “Then you aren't a part of the club. Get out.”

“No, we can't throw him out. Sehun named him president and founder of this club.”

“Let's impeach him. I nominate Tao as president.”

But I didn't want to be president of the Nauseating Club. “I nominate Kris.” I blurted out, raising a hand.

“Why me?” he sputtered, eyes wide.

“I'm okay with that.” Baekhyun agreed. “So, Kris, is Kai allowed to stay?”

“Uhm... sure?”

“Damn.”

“Yeah!” Kai pumped a fist in the air in celebration before pointing at Baekhyun and adding, “And if you try kissing Tao again, I'm teleporting you to the middle of the Sahara Desert.”

“You think you can?”

“I'm getting pretty strong these days.” he shrugged. “I feel like I could take Tao on a date in Singapore if he'd only say yes.” With that, he looked at me with big, hopeful eyes until I reminded him that I was giving up on love.

“With that,” Kris said playfully as the bell rang for lunch to end. “our club meeting is adjourned.”

“What club meeting?” asked Luhan, looking like a kicked puppy as he walked back to his abandoned lunch. In the end, he was also made a member of our club of nauseating s.

This wasn't how I imagined it was going to be, joining my first club with friends. This was just depressing. And unofficial.