How He Loved Her
Winning Bom All Over AgainFlashback
People ask me when I started to think that Bom was the one I’d spend my life with.
Truth be told, now that I’m married with her for two years, I can’t even remember when I felt it. I couldn’t say it was when we met because that would just be lying. I couldn’t pin point a specific time because…
One day, I just knew.
I remember it was Sunday morning. I woke up a little earlier than usual although we didn’t have anything planned that day. That Sunday morning, the sky was clear and everything seemed to be in HD.
I opened my eyes and there she was; the love of my life, shooing the birds away with her loud snore. I grinned goofily as I untangled her from the knotted mix of comforter and bed sheet.
Her long black hair was all over her face again. I tucked most of it behind her ear, but the few locks of bangs just kept on going back to her forehead. I scooted closer, my body facing hers as I carefully pulled her into a firm embrace.
What I did to deserve moments like this, I really don’t know.
Five minutes. Five more minutes before I wake her up.
“Tabi…” I hear Bom slowly stirring from her sleep. She was realizing that I had my arms wrapped around her while her head rested on my able chest. She pushed herself upward so she could look at me; and smiled.
She smiled like it was the most natural thing in the morning. Her eyes were almost unseen, while curved upward perfectly, making me want to kiss it again…
…And again…
…And again.
“You’re up early.” Bom said as she, too, wrapped her slender arms around my waist. She closed her eyes sleepily and continued, “It’s a Sunday, yeobo.”
“Good morning.” I whispered while my lips brushed her forehead, making her giggle.
“Yah, it tickles.” She grinned and it was the sweetest sound to my ears. She opened her eyes again, this time removing her hands from my waist and using it to pry my lips away from her forehead. “No more of these.”
“Mwo…” I protested. “You don’t like it?”
She removed her hands away from my lips and gave me a quick peck before moving her head away from mine. She put her hands back to block my lips from reaching any part of her. “I do, but now that I’m up I have to cook breakfast for us.”
“I’m not hungry.” I pulled her closer to me again, like a child holding his favorite blanket. I playfully forced my lips forward to break the wall she built with her hands and landed it on the side of her cheek near the ear. “Let’s stay like this a little longer, yeobo.”
“You’re not hungry, but I am.” She admitted, and so did her stomach.
“Fine.” I submitted to my defeat; but before she could get out of my grasp again, I pushed myself further so I could reach her ear and gently whisper, “I love you, Bom.”
I rarely say those words, but when I do it’s when I feel it needs to be said. Today the stars were aligned, the time was perfect, the atmosphere was right: the words were begging to be said.
She beamed, her eyes widening as she looked at me curiously. “Did you do something wrong?”
“Not yet.” I reply teasingly, rolling over the bed and pulling her with me until we both fell onto the ground.
“Yeobo!!!” She shouted as she received the deadly Tabi tickles.
“Do not touch those!” she exclaimed while swatting my hand as I tried to steal a few of the newly cooked bacons she was making alongside the omelet for breakfast.
Don’t let her catch me saying this, but she’s getting pretty good at cooking-- or maybe my taste buds were getting used to her. I didn’t let Bom know because she looked cute whenever I .
“That’s why I told you, let me cook and just relax.” I offered for the millionth time that morning. She insisted that I let her do her thing but I was just restlessly watching tv for the first time.
“And I would do that so you can eat all the bacon?” she argued, sticking her tongue out victoriously. “I’m wearing the apron, I’m cooking. Why don’t you find something productive to do?”
“Like what? Start knitting?” I pouted and made sure she saw it. She once admitted that my pout had the power to manipulate her. “Why don’t you relax and let me do the chores for once?”
“Because you’re my husband, that’s why.” Bom rebutted, and smiled at me again. “You see yourself? You’re so used to working that you’re restless when you’re not.”
Oh no she’s not doing what I think she is doing.
I’m manipulating her with my pout; she’s manipulating me with her smile.
This ain’t fair. I was always weaker.
“Tell you what, I’ll cook with this stove, you cook with that. Let’s see who can make the better omelet.” I challenged her. “If I win, we do what I want for the rest of the day without doing those little cute smiles of yours.”
“And if I win?” she asked, interested.
“You won’t because I’m always the better cook.” I said, already getting two pieces of egg to start on my batter.
I held Bom gently into my arms – not wanting her to go, yet not forcing her to stay. Bom was, for the most part, confused. She kept her feet planted firmly on the ground, her hands hanging at her side while her head was buried on my chest.
I felt her heart beat run like the horses on a track race.
“Bom.” I whispered to break off the silence.
“I-I think I need to leave.” Bom remarked; fussing to get herself untangled from my embrace. I let her remove my grasp from her. “Show’s starting.”
“Bom.” I repeated again.
“Y-yeah?” Bom said, fixing her blouse in an attempt to pretend that what happened did not affect her.
“I’m serious.” I regarded as she continued to fluster her way out of the situation.
“Seung-hyun…”
“I want to start over with you.” I revealed, earnestly yearning that she would agree to me. I watched her carefully, and my ex-wife seemed more conflicted. Her eyes widened, welling up tears, she took a step back.
“Why are you so nice?” She asked. “Have you forgotten? I left you with nothing, not even an explanation for our divorce. Yet, the moment I return, you’re eagerly welcoming me with open arms.”
I stopped, not knowing how to address this question.
“Why are you making it so easy for me to hurt you again?” she solicited, taking another step back.
“I…” I started, yet even I couldn’t think of why I was giving out my affection to Bom so generously.
“I left knowing you would be like this if I stayed.” Bom continued. “And you hadn’t changed since I left.”
“Hey, you two! Keep your conversation outside!” The security guard called our attention, flashing his light on us.
“D-de!” Bom bowed, and stormed out of the cinema.
I ran after Bom out of the cinema; she quickened her pace to no avail because I could just as easily follow her. We ended up outside, at the lobby of the building where I lived.
“You can’t keep on running away from me, Bommie.” I said as we both rationally felt the cat and mouse chase wouldn’t last longer. She panted, and stopped at the valet.
“I figured.” She replied, facing me this time. “This is not the time to talk about us Seung-hyun, let’s just part ways for the night.”
“No.” I answered straightforwardly, grabbing her wrist before she could signal for a taxi. “Why did you divorce me?”
I earned no answer, she only looked away.
“Enough of the running, Bom. Just tell me why.”
“Now’s not the…”
“There is no better time than now.” I answered rashly, dragging her inside the building so we could talk privately.
We reached my unit soon after, guilt rushing through my head. I had done what I said I’d never do, which was to force Bom into anything.
She struggled to get out of my grasp, yelling “Yah, Choi Seung-hyun!” while tugging her arm away from me. I wouldn’t let her.
I pulled her into my unit, desperate to get her to talk. I grabbed her other hand with mine now she faced me directly and I would have it no other way. “Why did you divorce me?”
“Seung-hyun.”
“There were a lot of times when I wanted to demand for an explanation.” I started, resting my back on the soft couch. “For a time I was frustrated and angry. I once told ajumma I would stop waiting for you to come back because you were selfish, you left me nothing; and you were happy.”
“I…”
“But I still couldn't move on because despite everything I still had hope that you'd come back and realize our divorce was a mistake. So tell me, why did you divorce me?”
“I divorced you because you loved me too much!” she exclaimed, pulling her arms away with all her strength. “And I took advantage of that fact.”
“I’m sorry.” She continued, only baffling me further.
I once injured my leg, temporarily benching me off of working outside the office.
“Yah, hyung, nice of you to join us today.” Seung-ri commented as he pulled out his laptop from its bag. “You’re never here because you work too much.”
“Yeah, I never thought I’d say this but I miss the office. What’s been happening?” I inquired.
“Well, I banged almost half of the sales and marketing ladies.” Seung-ri raised his brows proudly. “Gorgeous ladies in that department, I tell you. Have you met anyone from there?”
“Only briefly, you know I’m never here.” I replied.
“Now you’ve got the time! Why don’t I introduce you to them?” he suggested. I furrowed my brows.
“You want to introduce me to girls you’ve slept with because?” I interrogated. “You creep.”
“Nah, we’re all cool. It’s nothing like that. I just think you’ve never actually met people from outside our team. You’re never in team outings, you’re never in spontaneous nights out. Just thought that now that you have the time, you should.”
“Pass.” I declared. This conversation would not continue.
Sometimes I did ask myself why I didn’t want to meet other people; but I always knew why. My wife was a frail, insecure woman. I didn’t want to put myself in the situation where she would think that I’d cheat on her.
“It’s not like you’re going to cheat on your wife.” Seung-ri added, as though he knew what was in my mind.
Song: 4Men – Baby, baby
“I wasn’t ready to trust you.” Bom explained, and I started to loosen my grip on her hands. “I trapped you in a world where only you and I existed Seung-hyun. I was too selfish with you. I could see your character falling apart and every day I regret that it was my fault."
I stared, which was the only absolute thing I could do given the situation.
"You were okay with it because you loved me." she continued. "But it wasn't fair to tie you into our relationship."
"Then why couldn't you tell me this instead of leaving me?" I asked, my voice was hoarse.
"I couldn't." she answered, looking down on the floor. "I needed to grow without you-- so I could one day trust you with no conditions."
"Bom..." I uttered, now fully comprehending what she went through.
"It was never your fault, Tabi." she said, turning her gaze on me. "You were the perfect husband."
And for the first time since our divorce, she pulled me into her arms, putting her head on my shoulder. "But I don't think I'm ready to go back."
"Jagi." I whispered faintly to her ear. "Do you still love me?"
She nodded briefly, to my relief.
"Come back to me. Let's fix this together." I said, meaning every word.
Maybe I was too much in love. I was blind sighted by everything we were that I’ve forgotten who I was.
(A/N: Too sappy of a chapter? Hi everyone! I'm back! :) )
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