ETIQUETTE WAS HARD. They were only an hour in, and Kyungsoo was only a hair away from throwing the absurd amount of forks on the floor and battling Sehun to death with the knives.

Sehun was drawing a very… inappropriate scene (surprisingly well, which was the odd thing)… while sighing dramatically every time Kyungsoo got something wrong.

He and Luhan had played rock paper scissors and he had lost. Of course, the only bonus was that every half hour Tao and Kris would come with plates piles high with cakes.

‘How hard is it?’ Sehun coloured the hair in ‘That one is the salad one, that is the main and that is the dessert one.’

‘I DON’T EVEN EAT SALAD WITH A FORK. I eat it with my hands.’ Kyungsoo was more frustrated than when he had been forced to write ‘I will not talk’ 1000 times for someone talking to him.  

Jongin, who was watching like a little puppy from the side, gasped ‘How uncouth! Eating salad with hands? What will you do if there is beetroot in the salad.’

‘I don’t like beetroot.’ Kyungsoo sighed as Jongin overexaggerated everything. It was getting old now.

‘But… but… why do you not starve to death then, surely a commoner like you needs every morsel their master puts down in front of them because of the unrelentless slave driving after.’

Jongin was really infatuated with Oliver now, ever since he had watched 3 different versions at home after the day of the play.

Kyungsoo looked to Chen for eye sparkle special effects but he shrugged ‘Too hot,’ he said while fanning himself with a pile of Suho’s documents.

Yes. Kyungsoo didn’t normally shout, but the thing about today was that it was absolutely baking. Even though the fancy as crap (well, not really, more like fancy as a nobleman with tights riding on a carriage driven by a white horse into the sunset) school had bucket loads of money, this ONE day, the central heating had cut. Only he and the host club were at school anymore, everyone else had been excused.

Because the formal dinner was tomorrow. He had one day to master all of these stupid as hell things.

After he had finally learned the difference between the dessert and soup spoon, they moved onto Doritos.

‘We’re trying a taste of commons.’ Suho had said ‘It tastes like sandpaper, but people will like the novelty.’

Kyungsoo had thought who could go wrong with that.

HE WENT WRONG WITH THAT.

‘Disgusting.’ Sehun had moved the dip away from himself ‘You are one vile, poor, little creature. Oh well, I guess you grew up with nothing and don’t know any better.’

‘What?’ Kyungsoo was halfway through a mouthful of the spicy salsa dip.

‘You double-dipped. That pot is now yours. It’s useless. Infected. Contaminated. Soiled.’

That was it. Kyungsoo stood up and kicked the chair aside for extra measure before going out of the room and cradling his foot.

He really wanted to punch someone. SO MUCH. He settled for getting a crisp packet from a vending machine and punching the life out of it, but it just exploded in his face and he felt even MORE angry.

‘What a novel peasant way of opening crisps!’ Jongin exclaimed from across the room.

Perfect.

Now Kyungsoo had to mentally stop himself from punching Jongin in the face.

‘Though I have to say, the crisps get a little dirty.’ He put one in his mouth and coughed it out.

‘Eww. A carpet hair. Disgusting.’

A repeat of that word was enough.

Kyungsoo lunged at Jongin (unfairly, but then again, Jongin could do with a firm punch in the face.)

Jongin was halfway through a prince-turn which meant he only got chipped. But still.

He caressed his cheek and Kyungsoo could see tears welling in his eyes.

Sissy. Kyungsoo thought in his head, but out loud he just said ‘Don’t make such a big deal.’

‘Kyungsoo loathes me.’ Jongin crawled to the corner ‘Kyungsoo wants to kill me.’

‘I don’t want to kill you.’ Kyungsoo didn’t want to make Jongin this upset. ‘I like you.’

‘Like. Like. Like. As in LOVE?’ Jongin looked up with too-natural sparkly eyes ‘Why, my love, you have finally accepted it!’

‘No. No. No. Not as in love. Nothing like that. Indifferent. I am indifferent to you.’ Kyungsoo tried to wriggle out of the bear hug but Jongin was surprisingly strong when he wanted to be. ‘Sehun, help me~~~~’

Sehun, who had just stepped out of the host room, looked at the victim and shrugged. ‘Nah. Just had to tell you, I’m going home.’ With which he jumped out of the window? Kyungsoo would have to ask him about that later.

Chen stepped out. His only last help.

‘Help!’

Chen looked and with a completely bored expression offered a photo. ‘Here, Jongin, Kyungsoo with photoshopped really long hair.’ Jongin bounded towards the photo, and Chen turned around at the precise moment.

This reminded Kyungsoo of Spanish bull fighting. He didn’t concern himself any more.

He ran away. But he would have to strangle Chen tomorrow. There would be no photos of him looking like a girl under his watch.

He was already crossdressing, he didn’t want to take it further.

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Next time will be the dinner. I might have a mini story as well in between. Thanks for subscribing ^^ Had a nice weekend in Cornwall. Ah, the wonders of the short lived English summer.