Kyungsoo pushes his thick-rimmed glasses further up his nose as he stares out at the horrible, indescribable scene in front of him.

There are six, beautiful men standing in front of him (minus the one guy in the corner with a fan and some rose petals).

‘Welcome, princess, to Exo Host Club.’ The tanned boy only someone who lived in another country wouldn’t recognise as Jongin stepped in front of Kyungsoo extending his palm.

Kyungsoo slowly backed away ‘Who is that?’ he pointed to the quite handsome random guy standing in the corner.

The guy with the fan held up his hand ‘ Yes, I’m Jongdae, I’m the special effects guy.’

Kyungsoo could see why they had one ‘But why aren’t you greeting me?’

‘Technically not part of the club because I’m not rich’ Jongdae shrugged and when Jongin turned around Jongdae whispered ‘And I’m not prepared to make a complete arse out of myself.’

‘This is Kris.’ Jongin motioned to the super (SUPER) tall guy in the background who seemed to be staring straight past Kyungsoo.

‘Meet Sehun and Luhan.’ They simultaneously waved ‘They’re not brothers but they’re a bit obsessed with … they’re a bit deranged.’

Kyungsoo nodded enthusiastically while Luhan procedded to brush a bit of Sehun’s hair back into place. He didn’t understand how the girls pretended they couldn’t tell the difference (Luhan’s huge shoes were pretty hard to miss if you looked closely).

‘And this is Suho… or Joonmyun.’ The guy smiled amiably and wrote something down in a little black book. He was making Kyungsoo very, extremely nervous.

‘Last of all – Tao!’ Kyungsoo didn’t even have time to scream as a guy taller than him lunged… and seemed to (despite all his glorious muscle showing and his evil piercing glare) be light enough for Kyungsoo to carry.

‘Hi hyung!’ Tao grinned and Kyungsoo thought he could see a glow around his head.

Jongdae stood behind with a lightbulb on a string ‘Seriously, don’t mind me.’

‘Anyway.’ Kyungsoo realised he had half been forgotten ‘I was hoping one of the numerous tables in here could be mine?’

Jongin leaned in and turned Kyungsoo’s face towards him ‘Of course, but of course you’ll have to request one of our amazing hosts first.’

With no hesitation Kyungsoo said ‘Kris.’

Jongdae threw a brick at Jongin who dropped to the floor .

‘What’s done has to be done.’ Jongdae shrugged at the quizzical look.

Jongin appeared to recover surprisingly quickly from a near-death experience ‘ I’m afraid Kris is full up.’

Kyungsoo just really wanted a quiet table.

‘OK, so then in order from first wanted to last wanted, Kris, Tao, Sehun, Luhan, or Sehun and Luhan if they only come in a pair, Joonmyun, you.’

Joonmyun actually scared Kyungsoo more than he could admit.

Jongin looked hurt (but moreover was too annoying to study with, Kyungsoo reminded himself before he felt even the slightest bit bad.)

‘Why are you dressed so boyishly anyway?’ Jongin seems to have the attention span of a gnat.

‘You have the attention span of a gnat.’ Kyungsoo not-so-politely points out.

Jongdae tries to throw a brick but Jongin narrowly dodges it.

‘The only fun bit…’ Jongdae starts angrily murmering under his breath.

‘Anyway,’ Jongin continues, unfazed ‘I like boyish girls anyway.’ Jongin roped Kyungsoo in.

‘Doki doki’ says Jongdae in the background.

Kyungsoo stares ‘But I thought you were gay.’ He mentally slaps himself for even being interested in such a stupid fact.

Jongin winks ‘Not only. You’re totally-’

‘SO CUTE!’ Luhan lunges in and starts rubbing his cheek on Kyungsoo’s while Sehun restrains Jongin from killing Luhan.

‘Oww… you stepped on my foot.’ Tao starts to tear up and Luhan swallows both Tao and Kyungsoo in a massive bear hug.

Kyungsoo suddenly remembers his books just as Jongin gets out of Sehun’s tiger headlock.

But he overlunges, and instead of hugging Kyungsoo, Jonginnudges Kyungsoo’s bag.

Kyungsoo almost watched in slow motion as the bag tips ever so slightly off the windowsill.

And slides off into the air.

And opens half way through.

And all his books make a dunk sound in the lake just underneath.

Jongin has his mouth literally wide open as he watched the scene and his arms are still outstretched dramatically.

‘Dun dun dunnn.’ Jongdae says from behind as Kyungsoo thinks that maybe he can get away with manslaughter if he tries hard enough to make it not seem like a murder.

Luhan and Sehun start laughing their heads off while holding onto each other for support.

Kris’ eyes are directly on Kyungsoo, trying to judge what will happen next.

Tao is halfway through a mouthful of cake when he says ‘Ohf, oh’

Joonmyun has just written something in his book.

He turns it round and Kyungsoo sees an intricate drawing of Jongin getting hanged and then a miniature Kyungsoo dragging his body out.

Kyungsoo feels as if now is the right time to befriend Joonmyun.

//////////////////

Don't blame Kyungsoo for being a tad sadist... I'll continue in the next chapter! And this didn't actually happen in Ouran I just made it up because I'm twisting the storyline a bit... it also makes it less boring for people who have actually read Ouran anyway.