“All packed?” Jongin asked, serving the last drink at the bar before handing over the night to Jongdae.

            “Yup,” Luhan said in civilian clothes, having taken the day off to pack, “do you want to get changed before we leave?” He held out the handle to Jongin’s suitcase.

            “When did we get suitcases?”

            “I found this under your bed in your old apartment before we moved.”

            “I didn’t know it was there.” Jongin said, looking starkly worried.

            “Just go get changed, I’ll be waiting here.” Jongin took the suitcase and headed for the bathroom, Luhan in the mean time sitting at the bar to talk with Baekhyun.

            “Wow, how did you get him to go on a vacation with you? I don’t figure you for one to play the -in-nature card.” He said, taking a seat next to Luhan and playing with Chanyeol’s car keys,

            “Easy, I booked it and then asked. And what do you mean -in-nature card?”

            “Oh, Jongin had a phase.” They both shuddered. “So why are you taking him to Yangsuri?”

            “Well it’s winter, so not many people go there now and it’s where the two rivers meet, I have something planned.”

            “Oooh, tell me tell me tell me!”

            “Well-” Luhan was interrupted by first his jaw dropping and second Jongin walking from the bathroom in what had to be the iest clothes on earth.  A blue button-up shirt with the first two buttons open, and darker blue jeans that hugged all the right places of Jongin’s thighs and cute . “Wow…” Simple but dynamite.

            “Ready to go?”

            “Y-yeah! Baekhyun?” Luhan asked in between the heart attacks he was having.

            “Sure, let’s roll.” Baekhyun had been designated driver, as Luhan didn’t want to leave his car parked in the snow for three days at the station.

            “Ooh, before we go, Luhan?”

            “Yeah?” Jongin pulled out a bandana he’d kept folded in his pocket all day and rolled it out into a headband, tying it around Luhan’s forehead and pushing it backward, using it to pin his fringe back.

            “There.” He smiled. He tapped a finger on Luhan’s nose and then took his hand as they walked out the door. Luhan didn’t know why but his heart felt like it was going to spasm, launch into orbit and then come crashing back down to earth. Surprises from Jongin (surprises as innocent as these ones anyway) were rare from Jongin and managed to knock Luhan speechless every time.

Luhan barely spoke in the car ride to the station, instead playing host to Jongin, who rested his battle-weary bones in Luhan’s lap and apathetically fell asleep. Upon arrival, Luhan apologised to Baekhyun for the anti-social behaviour, thanked him for the drive and then began softly nudging Jongin awake as opposed to his regular ritual of kicking him or pushing him off the bed (or in this case it would have been out of the car).

            “See you Baekhyun!” Luhan said, carrying the majority of Jongin’s weight as they walked.

            “See you Lu! Have a great vacation!” Baekhyun waved.

            “Will do!” Luhan waved back. “You alright Jongin-ah?”

            “Yeah, I’m just a bit tired. Come on.” Jongin stood up straight on his own, shifting his weight from Luhan to his own feet and collected him by the waist, in much the same way as he had on the night of their first date at the pizzeria. Luhan embraced the nostalgia and then embraced Jongin in the same way with his free arm, his suitcase handle occupying the other.

            “You can sleep on the train, I’ll wake you when we get there.”

            “Thank you…” Jongin pressed lips against the bandana holding back Luhan’s fringe. The air was cold and clung to Luhan’s forehead, which was something he wasn’t comfortable with, but he’d made up for the chill with his Doc Martens, scarf and orange snow jacket.

            “Do you want to get your jacket out of your suitcase, before we go any further?”

            “Mm.” Jongin nodded. Luhan gave Jongin time to adjust to resting his weight on his own two feet, before rushing over to his other side to seize his suitcase. Quicker than you could say ‘paldang dam’, Luhan had Jongin’s soft, cobalt-blue jacket over his shoulders and his suitcase packed up again. The ensuing train ride was warmer, but Jongin stayed in his snow jacket as he slept in Luhan’s lap for the approximate two hours they were on the train. Luhan frequently played with the strands of Jongin’s hair as he slept; listening to music on the iPod Jongin had bought him for his birthday in the mean time.

They almost missed their stop in the time it took Luhan to wake Jongin and escape the narrow clench of the closing doors. Again supporting the majority of Jongin’s weight, Luhan walked him to the pension where they both left their suitcases by the door and forfeited consciousness on the couch together; Jongin exhausted from the endless dance practise and work he was doing and Luhan tired from the sheer effort of effectively carrying Jongin from Seoul to Yangsuri.

            “Lulu, wake up~” Jongin chirped, looking much more alive than he had last night.

            “Just another few minutes please?”

            “Hey that’s my line. Come on, you dragged me out here, take me places!” Jongin clapped. Clapped. Luhan let that sink in, and shot up awake to check Jongin for injection marks in case he was high.

            “How are you so awake?”

            “I slept on the train remember? Come on, up we get~” Jongin picked Luhan up, with no objections, and walked him up the stairs to the bathroom. “Shower or bath?”

            “Shower please.” Jongin ran the requested shower, stripped himself of all clothing and stepped inside. Luhan followed sluggishly, but was thankful he hadn’t fallen asleep as the steam and the fiery water snapped him out of suburban mode and back into the near unfamiliar feeling of what life used to be like. What it used to be like before the bar, before Jongin, before his apartment exploded, before their first date at the pizzeria, before he’d made a life somewhere that didn’t have four wheels.

Luhan found it hard to look at Jongin, and have this gnawing feeling of nostalgia nipping at his heart. Jongin stood for everything he could never have dreamed of before stepping into that bar; things like friendship, commitment, love. He thought he could see how far he’d come from being the frightened boy on the run from his small hometown, to the loved one he’d always been afraid of becoming. Of course he could just be overtly tired and delusional. “Penny for your thoughts?” Jongin asked.

            “I was thinking about you actually.” Luhan said, sitting down on the tiled floor facing the showerhead.

            “Oh yeah?” Jongin said down as well with his back against Luhan’s, the water splashing over both of them equally.

            “Do you remember the day we first met?” Luhan asked, feeling for Jongin’s had behind him.

            “Of course I do, that was the day that uh, Joon finally got fired.”

            “Haha, that bar fight was kind of scary. I’m glad you didn’t get hurt.”

            “That’s not what you would have said that day, I believe you threatened to knee me in the balls several times.”

            “Well at least I kept my promises.” Luhan grinned, finally finding Jongin’s hand and holding it tight.

            “That you did. And you refused to sleep with me for weeks, I think that was worse.”

            “I don’t regret it though.” Jongin turned to look to Luhan questionably, making sure their hands didn’t untangle. “Well if I’d slept with you on the first day we met you would have moved on and I would probably be in the southern towns by now.”

            “It’s sad but it’s true. I’ve been meaning to ask,” Jongin began, “if you hadn’t moved in with me and we didn’t start dating, what were your plans for the future?” The question tripped Luhan up, and he had to clear a difficult lump in his throat before he could continue.

            “Honestly, I don’t know.” He sighed, trying to think of the right way to answer, “I thought I would find the answers when I began travelling, but after three years I was getting no where. So I began saving for a trip overseas, see if I could discover something about myself in Japan, or China maybe. I took a lot of languages in school.”

            “I know, sometimes you scream things in Mandarin when we’re having , it’s really hot.”

            “Not the point,” Luhan continued, “I don’t really think I had any plans, I guess I was looking for something to just tell me where to go. But I’m glad I didn’t go to Japan or China, my life with you is the best thing to happen to me since I left home.”

            “I’d hope so, the is dynamite.” Jongin fully expected to be smacked over the head, but Luhan just kissed his wet cheek and smiled. Jongin still smelled like caramel in spite of the shower washing away every loose skin cell that made Jongin’s raw scent. “I expected you to at least hit me for that.”

            “No, I love the way you have on your mind all the time. It makes you you and I never want that to change, please…”

            “OK I think you fell and hit your head on the floor last night, you are saying you love me for being a retard all the time.”

            “Yup. I don’t want this to change, but I don’t want it to stay the same if you know what I mean.” For the first time Jongin understood what Luhan meant by that, as he had often said it to him.

            “I’ll do my best.” He affirmed, “Now pass me the shampoo, your hair is greasy baby.”

            “Hey!”

*                       *                       *                       *                       *

            “What are we going to do today?” Jongin asked, falling belly first on the bed and watching Luhan get dressed through the bathroom door.

            “Well I thought we visit the Samjeongheon temple tea house, yeah?”

            “Really? A temple?”

            “Come on, it’ll be a fun cultural experience in your own country.” Luhan said, pulling his shirt of his head and proclaiming himself fully dressed. “Go put on your shoes, I’ll be right down.”

            “OK.” Jongin responded. “Can we go out for lunch too? Something tells me I am gonna run flat on just tea today.”

            “There is a place I want to go to that serves food, we can go there today if you want.”

            “Thanks Lu~”

The Samjeongheon temple was not a far drive, though Luhan remembered that if they were going to take the train he should (and did) forage a small amount of money away for public transport.

            “So we came here to drink tea?” Jongin asked, shaking beneath his coat.

            “Yup, it’s said this is the place where poetry, Zen and tea meet.” Luhan held Jongin’s arm to keep him as warm as he could from beneath his own orange parka.

            “Do we have to climb? It’s super high.”

            “Jongin,” Luhan began, “if you could just today, shut up and try and enjoy this. You take your own culture for granted, this is going to be fun!”

            “Alright…” Jongin sighed reticently. The walk really wasn’t that long and Jongin hadn’t really seen any reason for him to complain in the first place. For one the walk was rather invigorating; attuning to nature was something new but not unwelcomed by Jongin. Second of all, the view from over the hill was something quite astounding. Luhan wanted to get there as early as possible before the sun was too high in the air, but after such a late start he didn’t really have any say in the matter.

            “I wish we’d woken up earlier…” He said solemnly.

            “Well at least we came.” Jongin said, looking on the bright side. They both took off their shoes before entering, greeting the owner and sitting down to the table second from the left in a long line of enormous tables, each hewn from a single tree trunk and at the least six feet long.

            “That’s true. This view is amazing!” Luhan beamed, Jongin smiling at how excited he had gotten. “Aren’t you happy we came?”

            “Hehe, very.” Jongin answered. One thing he had loved to see since Luhan had moved in, is when Luhan would forget all the responsibility he had to bear and focus on something that really made him happy. It sadden Jongin at times because it happened so rarely, which to him only meant that Luhan bore far too much responsibility and he felt partly the cause of it given at times, he really could do more to make Luhan’s life easier.

            “Should we make a wish before we drink?” Luhan said as the patron served their tea.

            “Is that a tradition here?” Jongin was beginning to realise how little he knew about his own backyard and it too depressed him to a degree, though it had not deterred him from continuing to smile.

            “I’m not sure, but should we do it anyway?”

            “Definitely.”

            “I wish,” Luhan started, “that I will always be with the one person in this world that makes me forget all my worries, even though he is my only worry here. I want to be with you in this life and in whatever comes next. I hope you will stay free and young-spirited as you are now, for both our sakes. By being so carefree, you anchor me down to my responsibilities and you let me take care of you. Never forget me, even when our paths separate and you are lost to me. Stay in my heart forever Kim Jongin.” Luhan sipped his tea in the ensuing silence. The room was still and so silent, Jongin thought he could hear himself cry despite the freeze in his throat. He seemed to be filled with a religious, Zen-like peace that carried all of his quandaries from his shoulders. “Your turn.”

            “I-I-I…” Jongin cleared the hesitation from his voice and thought hard about what he wanted to say. The words flowed from his heart, seeming to bypass his mind as his mind remained calm. “I wish that you find peace. You are a tireless force in my life but I hope that some days you find the will to rest yourself and take it easy. I know I don’t make it easy a lot of the time for you not to worry about something, and that you work long and hard so we can have the things we do, but it’s important you don’t burn yourself out or there will be nothing in the end for you to cherish, and call your own. Please be careful about your health and about your mind.” Jongin sipped his tea obligingly, thinking how silly he must have sounded crying and telling Luhan to be the calm one and not to worry.

Luhan didn’t cry as Jongin had, he’d merely smiled and set his tea down, waiting for Jongin to do the same before reaching out to take his hands and smile at him. He looked out to the view and thanked whatever influence in their lives had brought them together, before he resumed to his tea in stagnant silence.

Walking back down the trail was less satisfying than it had been going up but comparing the pleasures of strolling up or down hills was Jongin’s primary train of thought at this moment. Jongin wondered what Luhan meant by pretty much the entirety of his wish in the teahouse.

He felt it might contain a tacit meaning that he’d missed in the words or that he could have meant everything he’d said, word for word. He took Luhan’s hand and laced their fingers together in a show of palmistry as they walked down the winding road together, Luhan leaning into Jongin’s heart, quelled with questions and worry.

They walked for a while down the road they had come in on, hailing a cab that wilfully accepted them and their wallets. Luhan parted with his money with no qualms, and the couple soon moved from the pavement and directly into Luhan’s next attraction; a restaurant famous for it’s sundubu. The two sat down to a window side table, their encounter at the temple giving them an affinity for windows and views.

            “What did you mean at the teahouse?”

            “Hmm?” Luhan said, the urgency in Jongin’s voice was enough to snatch Luhan from out of his dreamy trance.

            “What you said before you made a wish at the temple. What did you mean by it?”

            “Really Jongin?” Luhan grinned ever so slightly, “I meant just what I said, is that so hard to grasp?”

            “There was so much I didn’t understand though, wh-”

            “Jongin, shhh… Don’t worry about it. I promise to explain but right now, let’s just talk and enjoy the sundubu, ne?”

            “O-Okay…”

            “It’s wonderful weather isn’t it? I hope it’s still clear tomorrow.”

            “Yeah, I guess. It’s nice to escape to the country. I think I’m beginning to understand why you travelled for so long.”

            “Really? Haha I’m glad. It’s not something I really know how to explain to people.” The food arrived and Luhan was the first to tuck into his sundubu, of which the first taste for him had been pure bliss in a bowl. Jongin’s stomach had other ideas about it though, finally deciding to leave it for Luhan to devour whilst he began on their chicken bulgogi. “How can you not love this? It’s so yummy Jongin! Just try it once more, come on!” Luhan pushed the stone bowl slightly for Jongin.

            “N-no thanks Lu, it tastes kinda funny…” Jongin said hushed.

            “Just once more?”

            “Alright then…” Jongin took a diffident taste once again, yielding the same spicy distaste as before. “Nope.” The two sat relatively silent as they continued to eat, grinning each time their looks caught each other watching them eat.

            “I don’t understand how you couldn’t love the sundubu.” Luhan pouted.

            “I don’t know why I didn’t like it either, it wasn’t that spicy! I guess it was just the raw egg. I’m glad you enjoyed it though.”

            “Mmm! I’m so full, let’s walk for a bit longer otherwise I’m going to start getting fat.” Luhan’s weight was a previously discussed topic, and Jongin had forever sworn to never pursue any line of conversation about it as it always ended in Jongin losing to highly irrational logic and usually Luhan sulking for an hour or two. The moon was high in the sky and it lit the pathway brilliantly in its’ rather plump glory. “Hehe, maybe the moon ate too much as well and that’s why it’s full!” Luhan laughed as Jongin smiled at the clear child he held in one arm.

            “What’s with you today? You’ve been exceedingly deep and childish.” Luhan looked a little hurt before Jongin was able to finish, “Don’t get me wrong it’s refreshing to see you like this, but I’m just wondering. What gives?”

            “I don’t know,” Luhan admitted, “I guess I was always like this on the road, before I met you. I used to say things like that all the time but I was alone so I’d often be talking with myself. But since stopping by the bar in Seoul that sort of faded as I got more used to other people talking to me. I used to miss it, but now I’m glad I get to be such a chatterbox.” That juvenile, jubilant smile returned and Jongin was glad to see it again for the nth time this holiday.

            “I’m glad you’re so happy. Now why don’t we head back to the pension before we get eaten alive by insects.”

            “Jongin it’s winter there are no insects!”

            “Come on.” Jongin knocked Luhan down with a jelly leg and carried him, wedding style, back down the path to the pension, where at some point Luhan had gone limp in dream after a long time of violent protests. Setting him down in the bed, Jongin pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s lips, before tucking the two under the down and passing out after a long days eating and exercise.

            “I wonder if the rest of this trip is going to be this tiring.” Luhan said, sliding into bed like a klutz. Jongin was surprised to hear his voice, and thought he must have woken him up with that kiss.

            “I hope not, I refuse to climb anymore mountains.”

Needless to say the rest of the vacation was spent in bed doing whatever they could think of, from movies and instant noodles to endless hours of tiring , the pair of them learning a thing or two once they had returned to Seoul by the evening of the third day.

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

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