My breaking point had come to a head.  I sat in one of the chairs in my room and stared at the wall with my death eyes and a beer in my hand.  My phone rang and slowly turned my head toward it and gave the death eyes to it.  Yongguk had said he would be on his way over; Jongup was treating the wounds of my brother at the moment at a bar not too far away from my apartment.  I knew who was calling, and I didn’t want to talk to the cold heartless that thought she was top .  My brother had left his phone with me, and I could hear his phone start to ring as well; she was determined to make this worst then what it was.

            I turned my head to my brothers phone, I wanted to answer it and yell at her some more, but I lowered my hand.  I had already snapped at her and was trying to control myself from snapping more.  I could hear the front door open and close which meant that Yongguk must have been told by Jongup that the door was unlocked and to walk right on in.  I didn’t care, he could have had a gun and I wouldn’t have cared if he shot me on the spot.  This was how uncaring I was at the moment.

            The tap on my bed room door made me look up at him; Yongguk was always the brother I wish I had to help me through all this.  In the spot that I was in, it was the other way around with my brother, I was helping him through this and there was only Jongup, and now Yongguk to help me. “Noona,” his deep voice whispered.  I wanted to cry at his one word.  I closed my eyes and took a swig of the beer that I had in my other hand.  The liquid was doing nothing to dull the pain that I had.

            “Oppa, I hate her,” I managed to say.  Another swig was in order, and as I took another drink of that liquid bread, his footsteps were coming closer to me and I knew the beer would be taken out of my hands, so finishing the half of beer was almost tempting to do so before Yongguk stood before me. 

            As was expected, Yongguk took the beer from my hand.  I crossed my arms over my chest and went to glaring at the wall.  Yongguk took refuge in the chair next to me; his eyes shimmered in the soft light of the room. “Noona, you don’t mean that.  Hate is such a strong word,” he whispered. I could tell he wanted to hold me in his arms.  He was someone that was willing to hold you when you cried and not just sit and watch.  I found that most of the group was like that way.  The only one that really didn’t know how to handle me was Junhong, and I couldn’t blame him.  He is still young and learning yet.

            “No,” I half snapped.  “I do hate her.  She thinks she is queen and that whatever she says or does is right.” My eyes Yongguk, and he knew that if she were to walk into my apartment that he would be holding me back. “She wants that jackass to move in with her! FOREVER!  It’s killing my brother,  and I keep telling him to kindly tell her to f’off.  She isn’t worth it Oppa..” I couldn’t hold back my tears any more.  “She thinks that she does no wrong and everyone will be behind her on this, but they aren’t!  I know if I EVER thought about doing something like this Jongup would leave me.  I know all of you would take his side, so don’t even say that you wouldn’t tell him to leave my .”

            I could tell that Yongguk was about to protest what I had just said.  I had yet to see Yongguk get mad at anyone, granted, he got annoyed and would mumble, and it was a good thing that I spoke mumble when he got annoyed with me. I could see shame on his face, but I spoke what I knew would be true.  There was no sugar coating anything around me, it was one way or another. “Your right, I would tell him to leave.  But,” he started as I smiled at him admitting that he would have Jongup leave me. “There are times where reason is in order.  Her having that guy stay there for a month was understandable in a way.  However, her wanting him to move in with her is not.  If she really did love your brother, she wouldn’t have done that to him.  I know you love Jongup with all your heart and soul.  You’re always happy when you are around him, but I know you hurt when he is gone.” Yongguk spoke the truth about me.  He knew me like I would want my brother to know his sister.  I am happy with my relationship with Jongup, not only that, but also with the other members of the group.

Each one was a brother to me, and they each had a method to cheer me up.  However, the days and nights that Jongup and the group are gone, my heart seems to follow them.  I’m lost without him, not so much as staying in my room and crying, I just feel down and don’t want to do much of anything.

I could hear the door open again, as I watched Yongguk get out of the chair.  “I’ll leave you three alone.  It’s been a long day and you all need the family time anyways.  Yongguk walked up to my brother and started talking to him. I could tell my brother had a little too much to drink, and Jongup not being the drinker was sober.  I envied my brother, my unfinished beer had upped and walked away and was now being poured down the drain thanks to Yongguk.

I didn’t want to talk to anyone, my brother would pass out in the second bedroom that I had, and Jongup would sleep in the bed, and me, I would take shelter on the couch.  When I get mad I like my space, and Jongup knew that.  I watched as the two of them helped my brother to the spare bedroom and into the bed.  Jongup was talking to Yongguk about something, more likely trying to see how mad I was.  I watched as Yongguk left and Jongup locking the door behind him.  I could hear the heavy sigh of Jongup as he made his way into the bedroom, taking his spot in the chair that Yongguk had left not that long ago.

“Feel better noona?” he asked softly.  I didn’t want to say anything to him and I just shook my head. I still hated her and wished so much upon her.  I knew if I spoke out loud that I might not like what the two of them had to say. 

My phone vibrated and flashed Yongguks name on the screen. I opened the message that he sent, ‘sleep on the events that happened today, and choose the outcome in the morning.  Don’t go to sleep mad at the ones you love.  Love them like nothing happened.’

I couldn’t help but cry now.  I didn’t want to be mad at Jongup, he was just a bystander in all of this mess.  “Noona,” he whispered as he reached out and touched my hands. My anger melted with his touch.  That cold heartless was going to have to wait for her judgment in the morning.  Yongguk had it right; I needed to love the ones that I loved.  I intertwined my fingers with Jongup’s and made way to the safe haven of the covers of the bed.