"Princess! It is already six in the morning. You need to prepare because Miss will come at seven in the morning." I heard my Mom talked and I felt a lightly tap on my face.

 

My goodness!! It was too early! It’s Saturday and supposedly the student every Saturday woke up late and their parents let them too. It was always like this, but still, I’m not used to it. Never will, never was. It was really a sacrifice for me to wake up early n the morning.

 

The Miss that my Mom is talking about is the one who will teach me the ethics of being a woman. Every Saturday, Miss would come at our house at exactly seven in the morning. No time to make an excuse for not attending that class!

 

I didn't make a move. I know that my Mom is not going to shout at me just to wake me up because, a lady doesn’t shout. That's the way my Mom taught me.

 

"Ugh!" I turned into the other side because my Mom opened the curtain that causing the sun's rays to enter my room and it exactly been on my face. I want to sleep more. I sleep late last night. Well, I know it's my fault but Ghad!! I really want to sleep more. Maybe five minutes more.

 

"Baby, wake up. Fix yourself and come down. I already prepared your breakfast," my Mommy said.

 

I slightly open my eyes and saw my Mom entered to my closet room. I sighed and pulled up my blanket and cover my face. I already know what my Mom's going to do in my closet room. My Mom is going to choice which dress I will wear for today.

 

Yeah! Dress! I always wear dress even though I am only inside the house. I never experienced wearing shorts or pants just like ordinary girls wearing nowadays. And I'm just wondering what it feels like to wear such thing.

 

My Mom went out from my room and I left lying on my bed. I counted up to ten and I got up. I entered my bathroom just like a zombie. I don't even have a single choice not to follow what my Mom says.

 

From my childhood, it was my routine, after five days of stuDYING in school, I need one more days to study in the house and it’s the Saturday schedule.

 

Ugh! The feeling that every morning I need to wake up early ‘cause I do have to take some lesson. Aside from the academic lesson; I have piano lesson, cooking lesson and lesson for being a lady. Lesson for everything that woman should learn.

 

It !

 

But what should I do? My Mom wants it and I do not have the courage to restrain her order. Even though, I do not like what those lessons are and I’m not so serious in that study, I do not know why I am passing those lesson and when did Miss Santos gave all those passing grade! I don't know where she had those passing grade.

 

I know! My life is like in a prison. Imprison without a cage.

 

I went to the shower. I looked up as I closed my eyes and started to feel the drops of water coming from the shower.

 

Sometimes, I have this thinking to escape in this so called princess life, to go to the place where no one knows me, so they will treat me like an ordinary girl. I want that to happen. That's my dream. But then, I hate to see my Mom face to turn into sad face. It breaks my heart, because I know, she's doing that because she waited for almost five years to have a daughter.

 

I wish, I have sister, so I would have a competitor in everything I have. Maybe, if I have a competitor in all things that my Mom gave me, there's a possibility that I might like and keep it. I might appreciate all the things that I have. They said it was like that. You only appreciate things if someone wants it too.

 

But then, as the times passed by, I just realized the things that I really like. Things that makes me happy. Just like what my brothers are playing. It looks fun, especially when I actually saw them playing. Even though I have a lot of Barbie dolls, I didn't even dare to touch and play it, instead I go to my brothers and making an effort to let me play with them when my Mom is not around.

 

 

FlashBack**

 

I was riding a bicycle that time because I was looking for my four brothers. They were not in the house and it gets me boring. I went to the basketball court in the village where we live. I saw them happily playing basketball. A smile formed on my face when I saw them and I came near to them.

 

"Kuya! Please let me play with you," I shouted to my four brothers.

 

"Baby, you might be hurt playing this game. Are you sure? You're not going to cry?" said my Kuya Alexis.

"Promise! I won’t cry!" I said while raising my hand as a sign of promise.

 

"Okay, here's the ball baby," my Kuya Alexis said and then he softly throw the ball to me.

 

My Kuya Alexander sits down so that we were on the same level and she pats my head like a puppy. "It’s like this Baby girl. You need to throw that ball and shoot it to the ring over there. Well, I do not know if you'll be able to do that since, the ring is too high for you."

 

"I can do it Kuya! You're going to help me, right Kuya Alex?," I said to my Kuya Alexander.

 

"Of course I will Baby Alexa. I will be your partner," said by My Kuya Alexander and then he stood up. "Oh guys, don't be too hard to our Princess ha?" he said to my other three Kuya’s.

 

"Sure," Kuya Alem agreed.

 

"But Baby Alexa, Mommy might not like it. This sport is for boys," Kuya Allen said to me.

 

"But Kuya, I like to play basketball. I don't like those girly things. Please Kuya?" I said to them with matching puppy eyes trying to convince them.

 

"But then, you're a girl so you have to do things that girls do," Kuya Alexis said. "Kuya!! I want to play with all of you!! Please Kuyas!!" I said while stomping my feet on the floor. I want to play basketball. It looks fun to play with my four brothers.

 

"Okay! okay!" said my Kuya Alexander and pinched my cute face.

 

EndOfFlashback**

 

 

I always found myself smiling when I remembered those scene. Kuyas allow me to play with them. When we got home, we’re all sweaty and dusty. Mommy saw us and got angry with my Kuyas but my four brothers didn't say a word that I insisted it.

 

I do my things to finish my bath routine 'cause My Mommy might knock on my door if I'll not be there in thirty minutes.

 

 

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I went out to the bathroom having a towel, wrapped around my body. I go straight to my closet room. When I entered, I immediately saw the dress that my Mom chose me to wear. I shook my head in disagree. If those other women are having a difficulty to choose what to wear, I'm not. Because even though I do not want to wear those kinds of fancy clothes, I do not have a choice. It's good after all that I have the freedom to choose my underwear because if I don't have? I might protest.

 

I wore my pink dress chosen by Mom. I looked like so feminine with this dress. I faced my full length mirror and combed my hair. I didn't put anything on my face 'cause I am more comfortable without those sticky make-ups. I'm just staying here at home only for today and I don't have any plan to go somewhere.

 

"When will I experience wearing those jeans and t-shirt?" I am talking to myself. "I wonder what it feels like."

 

I really want to experience a normal life.

 

Where there is no Mom who is going to choose what are I'm going to wear.

 

Where there is no one commanding, you to what you are going to study.

 

Where there is no one who is manipulating you.

 

Where there is no one who's going to be hurt if you didn't follow what they told you to do so.

 

 

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"Good morning Mom." I said with a happy face to my Mom even though I'm not.

 

"Good morning Princess. You eat first. Miss is on her way." my Mommy said to me while putting ham and egg to my plate. "You have to eat a lot of fruits baby huh?" Then my Mom put the plate that have sliced apple near to my plate.

 

"Sure Mom." I said. I love fruits so no bitterness when I agreed. I better eat fruits than vegetable.

 

"Baby after your lesson, do you want to go shopping?" she asked.

 

"I don't want Mom. I just want to stay at home for this day." I answered and then I drink the juice that my Mom prepared.

 

"Okay Princess. If you want to go shopping just tell me. Alright?" she said with smiley face.

 

I smiled at her. This life really !

 

 

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The lesson has started. I was just sitting in the living room while Miss is busy getting some stuff on her bag. She brought out a different kind of make-up brushes on her bag.

 

"So now, make-up lesson?" I asked.

 

"Yes Miss Alexa. You need to know this so that if you are in a hurry. You can do it on you're on. You don't need to wait for your make-up artist," she said with a smile on her face. I want to give her an I-don't-care-look but I just smiled.

 

I pout, "Can we just shift to another things?" I don't want this nonsense lesson.

 

"I'm sorry Miss Alexa, but your Mom is the one who wants you to know about all this things," she said.

 

"Why don't you teach her?"

 

"Come again?" Miss Santos asked. She didn't understand what I said because I said it with a low voice.

 

"Nothing. I said, let start this so that we'll finish early." I just said and then smiled. My smiles were always not genuine. I do not know what it feels like to smile truthfully.

 

"Okay, let’s start. For applying perfect makeup, you need key tools. Make up brushes and applicators are the key tools for applying flawless makeup. There are different kinds of makeup brushes to apply different kinds of makeup components. Right kind of makeup brush can only enable you to apply right makeup. Makeup brushes vary according to the purpose, design, material, quality and style. To choose right makeup brush, you should have some kind of guidelines. Another important thing about makeup brushes is that they need to be cleaned regularly in special solution." a long introduction of Miss Santos.

 

I pretended that I'm listening since I know myself that I could not apply this lesson in real life and I doubt if I can remember those things that Miss said.

 

"It was all brush as far as I know," I mumbled

 

"First we need to know how to choose makeup brush. There are different types of hair on makeup brushes. Makeup brushes are made up of natural fibers and synthetic fibers. Brushes prepared from natural fibers have hairs of squirrel and goat. These are high quality brushes with rubber or wooden handles. These are used for fine quality, small brushes with silky texture. Natural bristled makeup brushes are right for applying powder blush, face powder, lipstick and eye shadow. For applying oil based makeup, cream eye shadow, concealers. Brushes should be rounded with silk texture."

 

I held my temple and try to massage it while listening to Miss. My head begins to ache because of our lesson. I want to go upstair and sleep. I know, I am not really good in terms of academic but I definitely know that I don't want to learn this kind of lesson.

 

Brushes??

 

My goodness!

 

"Different kinds of makeup brushes, Powder brushes, Eyeshadow brushes, Eyebrow Brush, Eyeliner Brush, Lip Brush, Highlighter Brush, Concealer Brushes and Maintenance and Cleaning of makeup brushes." while saying those words, Miss shows to me those different kind of brushes. I just nodded.

 

I do not know, how any times I nodded. Actually, I didn't understand what Miss said about those brushes. I already forgot what is for blush etc. All I now is those brushes is for make-up. That’s it.

 

Miss Santos explains what is the use and important of those brushes while I just nodded. I really want to sleep rather than to listen to this kind of lesson.

 

"I wonder, what is the use of the make-up artist, who really study the make-up lesson, if all of women must learn this kind of sh*t!" I mumbled.

 

I didn't do anything in two hours that's very productive. I’m just busying myself looking at my nails that don't have any nail polish, looking at my hair if I have split-end, if my dress has hole, or if I need to change my shoes that I'm wearing right now.

 

I sighed. Why the hour seems so slow? I want to pull it so fast so that I can sleep. I know that my Mom is going out today to visit my Dad in office. So, I have free time when my Mom is out. I can do anything that I want. I can eat everything. I am so excited to do all the things that my Mom won’t agree me to do so.

 

"Miss, are you still listening?"

 

"Ha?" I was shocked when I heard Miss Santos called my attention.

 

"I'm asking if you are listening?" she said while her arms are folded into her chest.

 

I smile, the sweetest smile I ever had. "Of course Miss. But can we take a little break? I need to drink water." I said with my softest voice.

 

"Of course, you can." Miss Santos agreed. I stood up and I went immediately to kitchen.

 

Hay! It was like I can breathe in here than in the living room. This Princess life is so stressful! I feel like, I am a real Princess with the kingdom that have King and Queen, the way my Mom treated me.

 

"I wonder what will be our lesson tomorrow, cooking lesson? the right walk of a Princess? How to sit properly? How to wear a dress? Oh, maybe the right way to wear an undergarment. Ugh! Or maybe, what is the right way to take a bath!" I whispered while I am getting my glass of water.

 

"Oh Alexa, what are you mumbling about?" I looked to where the voice came from and I saw Kuya Allen with a messy hair. He just woke up, maybe.

 

"Kuya, I can't believe it that I need to have this kind of lesson that even the different kind of brushes for make-up is a must to learn!" I complained to him eventhough he doesn't know about this thing. It was so annoying.

 

"Easy, Alexa. Is it really like that when you were born to be a girl?" He said and went to the refrigerator to get some water.

 

"I do not know, Kuya Allen. But I think Mom is just over reacting about this thing. There's make-up artist to handle this kind of things and I don't think so, that lady must learn this. If all of Mom is like Mom, those entire make-up artists will be so unfortunate because they don't have a job anymore." I said with an annoyance in my voice.

 

Kuya Allen just laughed. Maybe because the irritation is really on my face right now. "We are so lucky that you were the one who born to be a girl. Because I can feel the hardship in everything that our Mom is telling you to do."

 

I just sighed. I am so envy to my four brothers. I wish I am like them too. I wish I was born to be a man, not a lady.

 

"Kuya," I called him.

 

Kuya Allen looked at me with a question mark written on his handsome face.

 

"Can I run away with this Princess life I have? I mean. Can I..." I stopped. I know, it is not right and they will never allow me too.

 

"What are saying!? Is rebelling becomes good for you to think? If you don't like what Mom is telling you to do so, then tell her! Maybe she would consider that."

 

I looked down as I saw the disappointment in Kuya Allen's face. "I don't think so Kuya." I answered with a low voice.

 

"You better go now. Miss Santos is waiting for you." he said. Still disappointment is written all over his face.

 

I frowned as I was heading to the living hell room, AGAIN.

 

 

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message from GirlWitheEyeglasses:

he four brouthers: 

sorry for some error..

Kuya is Older brother

Oppa in Korean