Who Knew

He was everything to me.

Lu Han was always there for me, and we were seen as one of the best couples in the entire school. We were popular and had many friends. He knew about my father, and he always let me stay at his house whenever he could. He was always supportive of me, and I supported his decisions as well. He told me he would do anything for me, and I knew that I would jump off of a cliff if he asked me to. We were in love, and I was happier than ever.

But, it’s so funny how happiness can disappear in an instant.

I remember it so clearly. The summer of 2008 was one of the worst summers of my life. I felt him growing apart from me. He was becoming distant. I tried to reach out to him, to ask him why he was growing apart, but he would not talk to me. He would smile and pretend that everything was fine, but I knew it wasn’t. I was only 16, but I knew that something was not right.

In August, Lu Han and I went out for a movie date. Lu Han was distant the entire time we were together, and I was seriously starting to worry about him.

“Are you ok, Han?” I asked. Lu Han glanced at me and then looked straight ahead again.

“Yeah,” he said, simply. I frowned and looked ahead as he drove down the road. Instead of questioning it, I decided to simply ignore it and act like normal.

“Can I stay at your place tonight?” I asked him, hoping he’d say yes. He usually did…

“No,” he replied. I waited a few more seconds, hoping he’d explain, but he didn’t. I bit my lip and flexed my hands in my lap.

“Why not?” I decided to question him. He didn’t answer, and I sighed. It was no use trying to push it.

The rest of the drive was in silence, and I didn’t like it. And to think that I once enjoyed that silence…but that was years ago – that was a different Mei.

When we finally arrived at my small apartment building, Lu Han pulled the car to the side of the road and we both got out. I walked up the steps to building and turned to face him. He was staring at the door, blankly. I smiled slightly at his cute face and waved my hand in front of it, getting his attention.

“Hey,” I said, gently. He looked up at me and I smiled, “Thanks for tonight.”

Instead of smiling and pulling me into a hug, Lu Han simply nodded. My smile slowly faded as I awkwardly played with my hands. Finally, after what felt like the silence of a lifetime, I gathered the courage to open my mouth.

“Lu Han, what’s going on?” I asked. Lu Han looked up at me and stared into my eyes. I stared right back, hoping he’d see how worried I was about him – how upset I felt about how he was acting. After another long silence, he finally spoke.

“I can’t keep doing this,” he said, finally.

“What?” I asked, not understanding, “What’s wrong?”

“This,” Lu Han said, “I just…I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?”

Lu Han took a deep breath, “Date you.”

It felt as if someone had squeezed my heart to the point where it stopped beating completely. I stopped breathing for a moment.

“I…Lu Han…” I forgot how to form words. I couldn’t believe what he just said.

“I’m done seeing you,” he continued, “I can’t continue to date someone I don’t…”

“You don't...what?” I asked, feeling tears come to my eyes. I looked up at him and saw him looking directly into my eyes. And his next words came in echoes that continued to pulse in my head.

“I don’t love you anymore.”

The tears spilled out uncontrollably, and I felt everything around me shatter. Before I could say anything, Lu Han turned his back and walked down the steps. I watched in stunned silence as he got into his car and started it, driving off down the road. I don’t know how long I stayed on that porch, but it wasn’t until one of my neighbors came walking up the steps and shook my shoulder a little that I realized I probably looked like a fool standing there.

I ran through the door and up the three floors to my apartment. I opened the door and stepped into my home, closing it behind me.

“Who is that?!” a slurred voice shouted.

“It’s me, Dad,” I replied in a whisper, “It’s Mei…”

“What?” my father asked again, and I knew he didn’t hear me. He was never able to hear me.

“It’s Mei!” I shouted, wiping the tears that were still pouring, “I’m going to my room!”

“Whatever,” I heard him mumble loudly. I quickly went to my room and slammed the door shut, locking it and leaning my back against it. I slid down the door until I was crouched on the floor, letting the sobs come over me. I let it all out – every feeling that was broken inside of me.

He left me. He left me all alone. Why did he do that? He knew how much I needed him. He knew how much he meant to me. He knew that I was fragile, and he can’t even explain himself?

“I don’t love you anymore.”

Was that really it? Did I do something so terrible that made him fall out of love? Was I that awful of a girlfriend – of a person? If only he had told me…but I couldn’t blame him. I was a wreck, and he couldn’t handle the baggage that came with me. I just wasn’t right for anyone, and I had to accept that. I didn’t deserve any explanation from him – I got what I deserved.

He was everything to me. He was the wall that was built around me to keep all the bad things out. But who knew that that wall was made of glass? Who knew that that wall could so easily shatter? Who knew how easy it was to lose everything?

Because he was everything to me – and he was gone.

Yay! Chapter 4 is done! It actually took so long to find a song that fit this chapter. And it's kinda funny cause I was trying to choose a song before I wrote the chapter and then I was like "Oh whatever I'll just write the chapter then find the song" and then halfway through writing I tried looking again and was like "Ok, if I can't find anything else, this will work I guess..." and then I was writing the last paragraph and I was like "Wait...who knew..." and then I was like "YOU IDIOT WHY DIDN'T YOU THINK OF THIS SOONER?!" xD So yeah, and that's how Pink was chosen! It doesn't match the story perfectly, but there are a lot of pieces in the song that relate to this chapter.

Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter~ And thank you for reading, subscribing, and commenting! I really appreciate it! ^_^ Also, a big thank you to amy91luvKey at Moonchild Graphics for the poster and background! :D ♥