Officers had the toughest quest to do. They knew that when they knocked on the door and a still oblivious woman opened the door. She was confused of their presence, but as soon as they stepped in and told her about her son she broke down. A choked sob came from and tears streamed down. No one can understand the pain a mother feels after losing her child. Her dear boy she just hugged this morning, her son who just stepped into adulthood, the young man who had so much to achieve had lost his life. Her whole body was shaking violently while Youngjae's whole life flashed through her mind. Policemen could only offer help of a psychologist, but she knew there's nobody who could take her pain away. Nobody to bring her son back. She cried out until her eyes became puffy and swollen and there were no more tears left to cry. She laid down on her son's bed staring into complete nothing.

Youngjae was lifted and carried away. He was curious about the next place he'll visit and who will the other person be. He felt as he stopped and his feet sunk into the sand. He opened his eyes and was met with the sea. Waves came crashing to the shore, just centimeters away from where he was standing. He took his shoes off feeling the soft sand. The sound of the water was all that he heard and Youngjae started walking ahead, staying close to the water which was seeping through his feet leaving a refreshing feeling. Suddenly he admit it was better here where Summer was. He left Winter in the world and its cold behind. But he couldn't be sure he didn't stay here longer. He didn't knew if the time in here goes faster and maybe even hundreds of years passed on Earth. Then he stopped and sighed. He remembered his mom who he left and now he can't go back to tell her he's fine. Well, because he isn't. He's dead and will never return home. Does his mother know already? She must be feeling horrible. Youngjae wanted to be there to comfort her. No, he wanted to make her feel happy, but instead he caused her pain. Mom was completely alone, he thought continuing to walk down the shore before he spotted a person sitting on the sand. His legs were stretched out and sea water constantly washed over them. His eyes were looking straight in front of himself like he was waiting for something, like a boat to return. Youngjae's mouth dried out when he recognised the lonely figure and he started to run towards him shouting. "Dad. Dad!"

“All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some glasses smudge, others crack, a few childhoods shatter completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.”

It's Youngjae's birthday and he's 18 now. There's mom's cake with just the right number of candles all lit up and ready. He is asked to make a wish and even though he finds it childish he complies not wanting to ruin the happy atmosphere. He thinks about it and finds a wish that he wants his family to be happy.

His dad had never displayed him any kind of affection as he didn't find it manly enough. A pat on the shoulder or encouraging word was what he thought is enough for a growing man. What he didn't see was that Youngjae was kid before a man and like a kid he wanted to be loved. Youngjae tried to get closer to him, but was always roughly pushed away. "Go to your mom." His dad murmured and continued with his activities of reading a newspaper or watching Tv. He did not just lacked love, he also had to suffer from his dad hands. That man was a friend of alcohol and sometimes thanks to it he would come home drunk his feet heavy and scraping the floor. He would go to his son's room where the boy had been awake and waiting with fear in his eyes. Heavy leather belt was burning against his skin and he cried out apologies for what he never done wrong. His mom was asleep and even if she heard anything she couldn't fight against her husband. After relieving himself he would leave and plomp down on the couch downstairs because his parents were sleeping separately.

Youngjae hated his dad, but at the same time loved him and looked up to him like sons look up to their dads and admire them.

No one knows how it would have ended if it wasn't for the accident when his dad came back drunk and soaked to the last bit. Youngjae heard his parents argue, his dad's voice was terrifying and he shut his eyes. After what it seemed forever he heard doors being slammed and heavy footsteps stomping away. Everything went quiet after that and next day Youngjae found out his parents divorced. The procedure was done quickly, dad forbidden from meeting Youngjae who had to suffer through this alone. That's when he realised he isn't the only one in pain. Puffy eyes and stiff shoulders his mom had spoke about her feelings. Her son was there for her and she found comfort in him.

Life went back on track. It was many times quieter at home and many times emptier, but they just had to get used to living just the two of them. When they finally did a cloud had covered their sun with news that Youngjae's dad died. They attended the funeral and surprisingly, haven't shed tears. This man wasn't their family anymore.

Youngjae ran to his dad, but the man did not show any sign of noticing him. He didn't hear him either. Youngjae stopped next to him and was about to reach his shoulder a voice spoke.

"It's no use. You can't touch him and he can't hear or see you. He's not actually here." He saw a shorter boy with small eyes, but he knew he never met him before.

Suddenly they further away and all he could see was sand.

"Are you the third person that I had to meet?" He asked the boy who sat down, but he wasn't actually sitting in the sad, but a little above it. Youngjae sat down observing him quietly.

"Yes, I am. I'm Moon Jongup."

Youngjae shook head. "I don't remember you." Jongup gave him a generous smile. "That's because we never met."

"How are we connected then?" "It doesn't necessary have to be our contact. But I still have a part in your life as well as your dad was in mine."

“How?” Youngjae straightened himself at those words.

“That’s why I’m here-to tell you how your dad actually died.”

Youngjae’s dad had an office job like many others and he worked hard with a thought of his family on his mind. Eventually that got to him and he needed to find a way to relax, that’s when he first entered the bar with friends from work who invited him. Few drinks that were mixed with soda did no harm, but his evening indeed got better. He found that a liquid going down his throat feels nice, especially if it burns a little. He didn’t care you can get used to this feeling and strive for more, he just did what he felt like doing. How can you resist something you like if it makes you feel good?

Buying alcohol was next, but then he had to hide it from his wife who decided that her husband isn’t attractive when he reeks of alcohol and he was kindly asked to sleep elsewhere. He never hated his son, but something caused him anger:seeing how caring his wife was towards him and how she smiled made him burn with jealousy and grab another glass and flushed it down his throat. He thought it’s enough reason to let out his anger on son who couldn’t fight back.

Their relationship never got as good as dad and son’s supposed to be. They were two strangers that lived under the same roof and had the same name.

Things never stay the same all the time and it changed that night Youngjae’s parents had a huge fight. His mom had enough of him drinking and abusing her son, she scolded him for not loving his son and ignoring him. His dad was drunk and like all drunk people who were also aggressive, didn’t listen to her, he only heard the woman disagreeing with him and telling him how to live. When she screamed out for him to leave and never come back he looked with bloodshot eyes and stormed out. That night he drinked more until he could feel no more. In the morning with a brighter mind it seemed like a bad dream and so he believed until the paper of divorce had gotten in his sight and he was asked to sign it and leave their family once and for all.

He rented a flat where he could continue having little parties and then go back to work in the morning. The wound of being pushed away still scratched and he drinked and drinked until it disappeared. Then Youngjae’s dad could think clearly again and the realisation of his past actions came down on him. He started to atone for his past mistakes and decided to apologize.

He went to the house where he recently lived. Only Youngjae's mom was present, the boy had school. Or so he thought. He still had the key and used it to open door. At first he was greeted with silence, but when he was about to call out to his former wife there was a scream coming from her room. What Youngjae's dad saw was his friend trying to undress her, she was held down on bed with her clothes messed up. They both looked up at intruder and Youngjae's mom's eyes flashed hope while his friend's showed fear. Youngjae's dad grabbed his friend throwing him on the ground where he quickly stood up running out with a furious man on his heels. He chased the other man to the nearby river and apparently the other was drunk enough to jump into water. It was cold Fall day with big raindrops that started to fall. Any people that passed by were hiding under their umbrellas and couldn't notice one man that jumped in the water and other who quickly followed. He grabbed the man by his waist and the other was struggling, swinging his fists to which Youngjae's dad answered with his and they were fighting in the cold water which eventually made the drunk one's muscles numb allowing the other to take him out.

"Why did he do that? Why did he jumped after him?"

"He was trying to save his friend. Your dad was a good man and even though he wanted to kill him at first he forgot the thought and tried to save man’s life instead."

"I still hate him for all the things he did."

Jongup shook his head to that. "Youngjae, you need to forgive him."

Youngjae couldn't. He saw what happened and how he saved his mom and then the man he called friend who tried to her. That couldn't pay off what he had done before though.

"You said you're going to tell me how he actually died."

Jongup chuckled. "I was getting to that part."

"My dad broke his leg and was confirmed to the hospital. I was visiting him every few days and one day in the same hospital room your dad was brought. He had liver cancer and pneumonia. I saw him laying there quietly every time until he was gone. My dad told me he died. But the night before he was crying and mentioning you and your mom. He died very sad and lonely."

Youngjae listened to the boy without interrupting and he found out all these things he never thought about. He was even ashamed of how emotionless they were at the funeral. It was too late to bring anything back.

"I still don't understand some things..." His voice trailed away.

Jongup was smiling.

"I haven't told you much about myself, did I? I died because of imunitet illness. I wasn't meant to make it to twenty.

I wasn't going to school much and was weaker as a child so I missed a lot and spent too much time in the hospitals. When I became teenager they couldn't hold me for free any longer and I was brought back home. My parents were both teachers so they took good care of me.

Soon after my dad was charged out of hospital I passed away."

Youngjae couldn't help, but feel sad about each person hearing how they died. And he only knew Himchan before, but now he found out that there were more people connected to him one way or another. He asked himself who will the other two be.

He was lost in his thoughts when Jongup spoke again.

"You have to forgive your father and move on. His soul is important to me and it's still sad."

“Holding anger is a poison...It eats you from inside...We think that by hating someone we hurt them...But hatred is a curved blade...and the harm we do to others...we also do to ourselves.”

Youngjae stood up and looked at the brown sky. He felt Jongup standing beside him. Suddenly the sky turned blue and familiar sound filled his ears.

"I chose this place because I had never seen the sea in my life."

Youngjae looked to the boy by his side who was smiling happily.

"It's really beautiful."

"Jongup, can I ask you something?"

"Yes?" Boy looked at him.

"Ever since I came here I was wondering have I saved that girl?"

Jongup shook his head helplessly. "I don't know. You'll meet two more people here." He said and proceeded to walk away.

Youngjae saw his dad again. He looked at him for a while and started to walk closer. He sat by his side and looked at the same direction.

"You never loved me. You hurt me and my mom with your actions. But then you saved her and in the end of your life you cried with our names on your lips."

He sighed and looked at his feet burying his toes into the warm sand. Sound of the waves echoed in his ears. Youngjae turned to his dad and whispered. "I forgive you."

He saw Jongup behind him. He smiled. And then he disappeared.

_______

I'm sorry if this came out worse than previous one ;;