The band was awoken by a loud scream coming from the spare bed. Hangeng leaped up from his chair, almost tossing a bleary eyed Donghae to the floor.

 “No! Please don’t! I have to stay with him. Please!” Sungmin wailed as the manager attempted to pick him up and carried him out to the car. Clearly this argument had been going on while everyone else was still sleeping, it was only now that the manager was using force to get Sungmin to leave that the poor man was getting distressed.

“Manager hyung please just let him stay, he obviously needs to. He can stay with us it’s no trouble,” Hangeng was pleading with the manager as tears streamed down his dongsaengs face.

“He was told to stay in Korea for a reason Hankyung. Please keep us updated on Zhou Mi’s condition,” The manager was merciless as he dragged a still screaming Sungmin out of the hospital room.

“Zhou Mi! Just hang on please! I love you! I won’t give up on y – ” Anything  Sungmin wanted to say was forgotten as the sound of the flat lining heart monitor took over every single one of his senses.

The hands disappeared from his arms and the sudden rush of Doctors and hospital staff failed to move him. They were hooking his precious Mimi up to all sorts of machines and trying to jolt him awake with pedals and electricity. But that piercing beeping was still ripping his heart to pieces. His entire body was numb, he could feel nothing except an ache in his chest, growing stronger with every passing second that beeping stretched on. He acknowledged one of the members hands around him, leading him to a chair. It took him until he felt himself fall into the chair to realise that his knees had given away when that beeping stopped, but it was because the machine was turned off. His friend was dead. A friend. That’s all he could call him, because he’d never had the guts to speak up about how he felt. He couldn’t even remember telling Zhou mi how much he cared. And now he never could.

There was a familiar pair of arms circling him as Kyuhyun pulled Sungmins head into his chest, his hair gently. Only five minutes ago he was screaming to be allowed to stay with his angel, but now he was silent. He made no sound except for the occasional gasp of air as the tears took over his throat. Poor Hangeng was struggling to try and comfort both Donghae and Henry while also attempting to contain his own sobs that were threatening to rack through his body. Ryeowook was curled into an unbelievably small ball on Siwons lap. The older of the two whispering what were most likely prayers into the youngers hair. Although he was a fair distance away from him, Sungmin could see Ryeowook visibly quivering, and undoubtedly soaking his boyfriends shirt with his tears. He wanted nothing more than to comfort his friends, but his limbs were frozen. He could feel Kyuhyuns tears falling through the thin material of his shirt, but he couldn’t move to comfort the maknae. What was he doing? He was the hyung and his dongsaeng had just lost his best friend. No matter what he was feeling he’s supposed to be there to support him. But he was still frozen in place. He could hear someone calling his name but he couldn’t respond.

“Doctor what’s wrong with him,” Kyuhyun had gotten the attention of a passing doctor to see to his friend. He had been trying to speak to him and comfort him but the bunny did nothing but stare at what seemed like Ryeowook and Siwon but was more likely the wall behind them.

“Mr Lee seems to have gone into shock. We’ll take him into a room to treat him,” Sungmin was taken out of Kyuhyuns arms and the maknae was lost for a moment. All he had been thinking of was taking care of Sungmin, now that he couldn’t do that, he needed to find something to do so he didn’t let the feelings of loss and grief creep in. not until he was alone at least.

“Sungmin hyung!” Donghaes voice was raw from crying as he called out to his hyung, who was being lead into a vacant hospital room.

“Kyuhyun what happened? Where are they taking Sungmin?” Hangeng had given up on Korean, not having the patience to think of the translation, leaving Kyuhyun struggling to interpret the fast paced Mandarin.

“Hyung…is…sho – shocked? No um…In shock?” The pained look on Hangengs face that had appeared at the younger man’s broken chinese dissolved into a look of helplessness. The Super Junior M leader hated seeing his dongsaengs in a bad situation that he couldn’t control, whether they were in his band or not. Leeteuk wasn’t here and the manager was outside breaking the news to the other members, so for the moment, he was the leader. Kyuhyun had already pulled Henry into his arms, but Donghae was clinging to his boyfriend for dear life. Hangeng could see no way of detaching the dancer from him so he simply picked him up and carried the younger man with him to the room Sungmin was in. Donghae hung off him in a pile of long limbs. Apparently being a monkey ran in the family. The doctor gave him a strange look when the chinese man walked in with a 24 year old man hanging off him, but he didn’t say anything.

“How is he doctor?” Hangeng sat in the chair the nurse offered him and Donghae curled up in his lap.

“He’s in shock, it’s understandable regarding the situation, I’m surprised more of you aren’t suffering,” The doctor gave a sideways look to Hangeng, obviously expecting a reply.

“It would seem Sungmin had stronger feelings for Zhou Mi than the rest of us realised. If we had of known, he would have been here sooner,” His voice caught on the mention of his fallen band mate, and his head dropped when he mentioned Sungmin not being with him. Hangeng had never looked so dejected in his life. He felt he’d failed not only Zhou Mi as a leader, but Sungmin as a hyung. Donghae noticed the change in his lover’s attitude and shifted to kiss his cheek. The older man melted into the touch and turned to press his lips to the soft ones of the man on his lap. There was nothing sensual to it, just comfort and love. He realised that’s exactly what he needed, he’d been trying to take care of everyone else, but hadn’t catered to his own needs. At that moment the manager had walked in, hearing about Sungmin and what had happened. The other members were on their way to China as soon as possible, wanting to comfort their grieving friends.

“What happened to him?”

“He went into shock. His sudden forced departure couldn’t have helped,” Hangeng was over using formalities and was pissed. He knew he’d get reprimanded later but at the moment he couldn’t care less.

“That’s enough Hankyung. He disobeyed me, I was just doing my job.”

“We’re in China, my name is Hangeng. Wouldn’t kill you to use it once in a while. And your job is to manage our band, not our lives. It was clearly important for Sungmin to be here or he wouldn’t have disobeyed you, he’s not that sort of person. So why was so necessary for you to fly over here and drag him back?” Even the doctor and Donghae were surprised at Hangengs informal speech. He was speaking Korean but didn’t slip up even once.

“You have clearly been spending far too much time with Heechul and lost all respect for your hyungs. I am in charge of this band and that means I am in charge of your actions. When I say he is to remain in Korea that’s what will happen.”

“He’s 24! He doesn’t need anyone making decisions for him! If he wants to be by the side of the man he loves while he dies then that is his right!” The manager was taken aback at the fury resonating out of Hangeng and could only hope that Donghae would try harder than he was to calm his boyfriend down.

“Loves? Sungmin was in love with Zhou Mi?”

“That’s right.”

“Is no one in this band straight?” The manager sighed, exasperated, but refusing to apologise or even admit it was wrong for him to keep Sungmin in Korea.

“What the hell does that matter?”

“Hyung stop. Don’t get into trouble for me,” Sungmin was alert, to a point, and responding to his surroundings again.

Sungmin-ah, I’m your hyung. It’s my job,” Despite his rage Hangeng managed a smile for the disconcerted  man sitting on the bed. The manager took the chance to escape Hangengs wrath and check on the other members.

“Is not,” Sungmin was climbing down from the bed, half-heartedly, and Hangeng even managed a small laugh at the man’s ability to be adorable, even when grieving the loss of the love of his life.

“You know it is. The others will be here by tonight. Min I think it’s time we went back to the hotel.”

“Hotel? I thought you were staying at…the apartment?” He couldn’t bear to say Zhou Mi’s name, and referencing to it as Henry’s alone just seemed insulting.

“We were, well we’ve been sleeping here most nights actually. But all the members won’t fit in their apartment. Besides I don’t think Henry really wants to go back there just yet,” Sungmin nodded slightly at Hangengs logic, but still couldn’t make himself leave.

“I can’t leave him hyung. I have to be with him, I promised I wouldn’t leave,” Sungmin was on the verge of wailing again, but caught his voice just in time.

“You’ll never leave him Min. None of us will, he’ll always be with us, no matter where we go. But being here isn’t going to help you. You need to be somewhere more comfortable, especially when the others arrive, there’s not enough room here for all fiftee…Fourteen of us,” Seeing the reluctance on Sungmins face, Hangeng changed tactics. “If not for yourself then for Kyuhyun. You know he won’t let himself grieve if there are strangers around. I doubt he’ll even do anything with all of us around, but if we stay here he’s just going to bottle it all up,” Sungmin couldn’t argue when it came to one of his dongsaengs.

“Can I say goodbye first?” His whisper was full of pleading and pain it almost made Hangeng heart break, again, his eyes even started to tear up.

“Of course you can. Take your time Min, we’ll be right here,” Realising the man on his lap was awake and had stopped crying he turned to see the disconsolate face of Donghae, his eyes red and puffy, but dry none the less. “Do you want to say goodbye too?” Donghae simply nodded like a small child would, wrapping his arms around Hangengs neck as he pulled himself into a sitting position.

He attempted to walk but he legs were like jelly so he just ended up leaning on Hangeng and being pulled out of the room. He was immediately wrapped in long muscular arms as Siwon pulled him into a bear hug. Hangeng instantly looked around for Ryeowook. The eternal maknae hadn’t left his boyfriends side in a week. But he found him being consoled by a rather calm looking Kyuhyun, however Hangeng knew that wasn’t how the gamer was feeling on the inside. Henry was in the room saying his last farewells to his best friend, but emerged before Hangeng could go inside. He almost ran towards his leader, collapsing into his arms in a sudden outburst of sobs. The older man simply held him close, whispering calming things in his ear and his hair. He felt helpless, stretched between all his dongsaengs, unsure of what to say to make them at ease because he had no idea how to calm himself down. He suddenly wished Leeteuk was here. He always knew what to do. He hadn’t noticed Siwon leading a smaller than usual looking Sungmin towards Zhou Mi’s hospital room until the door closed, leaving Siwon on the outside, unable to comfort his hyung.

Sungmin had entered Zhou Mi’s room slowly, unsure of what he was going to find. What did someone look like when they were dead? Was he still going to look the same? He expected his friend to look pale and drawn. But he looked exactly the same as when he was alive. Only more peaceful. Which put Sungmin at ease, he didn’t look in pain anymore..he looked like he was sleeping. He didn’t say anything for a moment, just his hair, smoothing it out over the pillow. Zhou Mi would never forgive him if he knew that Sungmin had let him look unruly when people were visiting.

“What am I supposed to do without you?” His voice was refusing to rise above a whisper, but even that whisper was strained. “I’m so sorry Mim. I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for you to fight for,” Think, heavy tears were falling from his eyes, staining Zhou Mi’s bed sheets.

“You were hyung,” Sungmin hadn’t heard the door open and was even more surprised to see who walked in.

“Kibum-ah? When did you?”

“I took the next flight after the manager, in the confusion everyone almost forgot I was there, it was easy for me to sneak out,” The younger man knelt down beside Sungmin, clasping his hand tightly. “You were enough hyung, don’t ever think you weren’t. But he was only an angel on loan to us. Heaven needed him more than us. God wouldn’t have taken him back if you couldn’t survive without him,” Normally Sungmin would have laughed at the cheesy religious saying Kibum was giving him. But at the moment, it was the only thing stopping him from giving up. Zhou Mi may not have cared for him in the way he did, but he loved him all the same. He wouldn’t have died if he didn’t think Sungmin was strong enough to carry on. He took one last look at the sleeping man before rising from his chair.

“Come on, let’s go. Donghae wants to say goodbye too,” They left the room hand in hand, Sungmin surprised at the show of affection from the maknae, but took the comfort anyway, and made way for Hangeng and Donghae to enter the room. If anyone was surprised Kibum was there, they didn’t show it. They simply looked at Sungmin worriedly, but the worry turned into relief when the short man smiled for the first time in 48 hours.

“God’s taking care of him now,” everyone smiled and all Kyuhyun could think was thank goodness Heechul wasn’t here.

 

 

 

 

I'm so sorry! I love Zhou Mi he is actually my bias but it just fit in better with my idea for the story to kill him :( Also I felt like making Hangeng baddass