As I sit here in my studio, I cannot help but to document my thoughts. Call it a way to pass time when I cannot think of lyrics to compose. (Yes, even I procrastinate).

Time goes by so quickly. It’s amazing. Though I cannot pinpoint where this nostalgia has suddenly come from….hmmmm….

To think, years ago I was once an idol and now here I am with my own entertainment company and a beautiful family.

I couldn’t be happier.

Of course, there are days where I miss being an idol, but I’ve gained so much more in life.

Plus, I still keep in touch with the guys. They’ve all gone on to lead very successful lives, but our brotherly bond has remained for years even after the fact.

Like Dae Hyun, for example. That boy—yes, I still call him a boy—has gone on to be one of the most successful ballad singers in the industry. I couldn’t be more proud of him.

And Young Jae decided to pursue his career in musicals after our days of B.A.P were officially over. He does such a good job that I attend as many shows as possible to support him.

Jong Up has gone on to become a top choreographer. He’s even choreographing for up and coming American artists now. I’ll never forget when he got to meet his biggest role model: Chris Brown. His excitement when he described it to me… It was as if he was a teenage girl.

Then there’s Him Chan. Him Chan and I have always been close and our bond even grew stronger when we served in the military together. I’m happy that Him Chan stuck by my side and entered into this business venture with me of owning a company. Of course, he’s also an actor now. Who would’ve thought Kim Him Chan would’ve ever become an actor?

Lastly, little baby Zelo—Jun Hong, as he goes by now—is all grown up now. He’s always been the one I doted upon the most considering how young he was when we debuted. I am so proud of all the things he’s accomplished as a big time solo rapper. He truly is a prodigy.

And well, then there’s me.

Bang Yong Guk. I’ve become a big name in the industry—but not for performing. I compose and produce songs for idol groups now. And I recently started up my own entertainment company: BYG Entertainment.

Yes, I used my own initials. Call me conceited but it’s successful for most companies, I’ve noticed.

I’m preparing to debut an idol group all of my own.

The only difference is I am giving them more free reign than most idol groups are given. I’ve been personally training these six boys for the past two years and they all have amazing potential.

TS Entertainment allowed me the chance to express much of my musical ability years ago. So now it’s my turn to allow them to do the same. And it’s always been my theory that these companies should allow their idols to become true artists by expressing themselves through their own work.

Of course I still write and produce songs for other groups because nothing in this industry will change over night.

But with these boys under my wing, I am allowing them to explore the true meaning of music. To really have a chance to embrace their potential. I’ve even allowed them to choreograph their own dance for their upcoming debut and have input on the style and concept for the album.

They truly are impressive young men.

As I grow older, I definitely feel myself growing more and more wiser. I’ve become more attuned to the world. I under—

Unable to continue with his thoughts, Yong Guk placed his pen down when he heard the sound of a small child’s voice; his youngest son.

“Appa! Appa!!” The young five year old chirped. “Dinner’s ready. Mommy says you better come downstairs now!”

Yong Guk chuckled at his son before walking over and lifting the boy into his arms. “Alright, Alright. Let’s go before she yells at us, neh?”

With Yong Jin in his arms chattering away about nothing, Yong Guk made his way into the dining room to his other family.

This is what he meant in his diary entry when he spoke of gain and beauty in his life.

There before him at the dining room table was his family; his everything. He had a beautiful wife, daughter, and two sons. What more could he possibly want?

Nothing.