Home~

Slowly, I placed the dirty dishes on the sink, sighed heavily and closed my tired eyes. It has been a week now. Shoot, it's getting really annoying. When will I ever get my normal life back?

For months it has been the same routine.

Wake up. Take a bath. Change to school uniform. Eat. Wash the dishes. School. Back Home. Eat. Wash the dishes. Take a bath. Sleep. Wake up.

And again.

I'm waiting for exciting things, I'm waiting for him.

him. I now remember. I always have been thinking about him these years of waiting.

The memory of my first sight of his angelic face was like staring at the sun, so bright yet distant. The sense of his presence made my heart beat crazy that I cry everytime I think about him.

His touch... Yes.

When he picked me as I lay motionless on the ground, I couldn't care less other than me being in his arms. He was slender but so strong and caring.

After he saved me, I pressed my head against his chest, hearing his heart thumping unsteadily. He held me in his arms all night till dawn, walking under the starless, dark sky, and took me home. I slept unsure whether my parents were present. I wanted him beside me the whole time till my frantic hopeless self let him go.

But, the next day when I lay on my bed, my mind made me think it was a dream. I realized I was a desperate person who depended on someone. Always like a desperate young girl, my heart got trampled by the first sight of his irresistable face and his soft touch.

Just before I got to tell him what I had to say...

He...left me.

I should atleast stop whispering and talking to my brain. Am I going crazy?

I should start eating...now. It's Sunday. First day of the week where there are a lot of demanding things to do.  And I know I'll soon meet those mean bullies who almost touched me. Why are they still studying in the same school?

Life is sometimes unfair. this .

Yeah, I feel like I really need to use curse words so I will calm myself.

But I should at least try being brave. I should get up on my feet and Face those erts. No turning back.

But can I?

I... I just can't. I feel I can't...

I still haven't told my parents about what happened to me 2 years ago. I really have no urge and strength to face them and tell them the truth.

I'm still scared. 

"Why am I like this, really?'' I slowly whispered under my breath and stared at the ceiling.

It was dark and lonely as if the only being there was me. I felt I just wanted to run to my bedroom again and sleep, hiding from the cruel world out there who is dying to crush me into tiny pieces.

Without thinking straight, my heart suddenly thumped hard and there came flashing before my eyes a cruel incident that I fell on the cold marble floor. Slowly, my eyes were closed.

I started thinking about IT again. 

That dirty, scary and erted thought. That incident 2 years ago. My wprst fear is maybe someday they might drag me at night with the thirst of wanting to harm me... Specifically. Worst, touch me? It only takes a while. It's fast. Only a second. Then, it is finished. And I'm left useless...like garbage. No one will ever want me again. Nor love me.

"No...no. Oh God, please no.'' I covered my ears, horrified hearing my own voice.

I'm was terrified as though I was in hell.

Flashback.

First day of school (7th grade)

I was really very happy that day. Everything was going well. I made new friends, all my subject teachers were very wholesome and kind, especially funny. I love funny and dorky teachers. My favorite was music class because the whole class sang like a beautiful choir.

Perfect.

That was the best word to describe that day. Until the last period. It was Science where everyone was very noisy. Groups of friends were suddenly gathering in their seats. The class was suddenly a mess. I sensed danger that moment. Maybe they were just trying to act good in front of the teachers but there was definitely another side of them.

But...

The way the guys on the very dark edge of the room looked at me was very uncomfortable and scary. They regularly glanced at me like erts, giggling, chuckling and giving high-fives and their lips. Everyone seemed to have backed away and girls made an excuse saying, "Sorry, I think I have to run to the bathroom..." Then, I was the only girl left.

My heart beated fast for the first time in my high school life.

I took notice of every move they made and glances they regulary gave to me.

After school at exactly 3 pm, I hurriedly peeked outside, hoping no one was there and ran. But...a strong grip held my self back and suddenly roughly dragged me back in the classroom where the only person left was me, and them. They were 5 men. I backed off, until I found myself stuck leaning on the cold dusty old wall. Then, one of them wrapped my mouth and nose with handkerchief that it smelled weird as of chemicals. I was helplessly dizzy.

They dragged me by on the corner where their eyes first gazed me. It was terribly dark as as a black whole and even more when they decided to turn the lights off to prevent anyone from the outside to spot the act of abusement that was happening. They held my leg and locked the door.

Now I had no chance. No hope. My soul gave up but my heart was crying and praying someone would come for me.

Then, there I froze feeling like a helpless liviing being.

They began placing their hands on my tiny body. One cruel man tore off the left side of my shirt revealing my skin for every eyes to see. I could feel and taste their want for despite such a young age. But that time wasn't right for me to be thinking about such bad things. All I needed and had to do was run. But I was scared. So scared and too scared.

There was no place to run or hide. 

5 men. One room. Door is locked, and lights dead. No one but me and them. They were strong and I was...not. 

". If only you were more of a to want this." the man exclaimed as he threw me on the hard cold marble floor.

Then the other guys threw all the wooden desks on the sides and I sobbed continously.

"We are going to need more space to do this, Dave. I am wild especially with s*x." he added as he snapped his fingers.

Dave...his name was dave. I knew that name from 5th grade. He was my very good friend. I gave him one more look and he just gave me a smirk.

I voted Dave for class president in 5th grade. How could he do this to me?

"No...please no. Don't do this! Dave help me, please..." I yelled and looked at him.

''Go her. I don't care.'' he said and went towards the door, twisting the knob and closing it.

I closed my eyes. I had no energy to speak anymore for I was out of breath.

He betrayed me. My good friend, Dave...

He betrayed me...

My heart was thumping too fast and I knew I was going to die.

Die there.... tortured, tormented and abandoned.

''Please let me go. Please...'' I cried non stop.

'', this is so ing noisy!'' the man who held both my arms cussed deep down his breath.

But none of them listened nor payed attention to me. Instead, they laughed like dogs and pulled my legs closer. The tallest guy was well-built. His arms were so strong and he clasped my tiny legs pulling it that I screamed in horror and pain. It was too fast. The next thing I knew my waist was between his long legs and he held both my hands while ordering the other guys who were watching in entertainment for s*x to tie both my hands with a rope. He laughed.

"Yes...you were right! She is hot.'' one of them said, that guy was young.

"Please no...'' I mumbled.

"No no... you can't. Jebal... please stop. I won't tell anyone about this. I promise. Please just ..don't hurt me!" I cried and wimpered like a dying dog left in the street after being driven over.

"Shut the up you noisy tard! Who are you to talk to us! We are only here to F**k with YOU!'' the tallest guy stood up and started unbottoning his pants.

"GOD...please help me!'' I closed my eyes, my voice was louder, I closed legs.

"Why? Don't you know why?!" the man on top of my body screamed on top of his voice.

I froze and tried figuring out what he was talking about.

''You don't know why we're doing this? Ask yourself!" he laughed chorusely with everyone.

They were heartless. Cold. And Evil. Devils.

I cried non stop, "Why? Tell me what do you want?!'' I held my breath more because it sounded like I couldn't talk anymore. I was whimpering.

"If you say one more word I swear I'm going to kill you!'' he slapped me, again.

It was the 2nd time he did that. I couldn't even defend myself.

Right there. My lips were bleeding and my cheeks were so wet from blood. It flowed on the floor as I closed my eyes.

''Lady, the best part didn't even start yet. Please, raise your beautiful face. And let me give you a kiss.'' he held my chin and leaned close, touching my bare shoulder, and I cried as they laughed.

Then there, I heard a voice before he foolishly try to stick out his tongue on my lips; Gross and really unimaginable.

"What the are you guys doing?!" a very strong and manly voice.

I looked back and I couldn't believe someone was there. A man... who made it all impossible. He was like an angel. Very handsome, tall, fit and most of all comforting. I stared at his eyes that were sparkling at distance and my heart thumped for him.

That kind man I was waiting for.

End of Flashback

That is what every girl fears. A fear of losing something they should only give to the man they are married to and whom they love. No one else.

"Don't worry, I have to stay strong for mom and dad and finish graduating school. I'll apply for scholarships and work for them just as they always do for me." I fixed up a worried smile on my face.

I stared at the ceiling for 10 minutes like a psychotic girl then glanced at my watch.

" 5:30 am.'' I mumbled under my weak breath.

So early.

"Sakurako!'' mom called me up that I jumped.

"Aish, umma you scared me!'' I yelled as my voice echoed.

The room was half empty because we just moved in. We still had the responsibility to unload all the stuff out of the truck outside which everyone in the neighborhood is talking about.

, such trolls.

''Hurry!'' her voice sounded like she was in trouble.

Living Room~

''Yeah?!" I ran towards the living room.

"Help me.'' she said as she pointed on the remote in front of the TV.

Aish my lazy amma! She made me worry! I thought she slipped.

I gave it to her as I examined her tired fluttering eyes closely. She was surely waiting for dad to come back from work.

Dad works more than 12 hours a day. And comes home by 6:00 pm, but still works by then studying and doing web designs, powerpoints, excel work and so much more.

I am not really a pro when it comes to ICT but I surely do my best. Mom and Dad always says, "Do your best and God will do the rest. If you do your best, you can succeed many things in Life and won't regret it." and adding, "It is easier for an average hardworking man to succeed than a smart lazy man to."

Wow, I love mom and dad. They always are the best parents one can have.

But I felt disappointed. Dad left for work today though he was sick from yesterday's rainy weather. We're not suppose to go to school but that stubborn stupid school forces us to. I wish to move soon but I can't for my parents' sake who is suffering each day earning hard for the family.

I looked at mom. Her eyes were swollen. She was covering while coughing hard. was clogged.

''Umma... are you okay?'' I slid next to her, hugging her as she leaned her head against my chest.

''Yes. I just, your dad.'' she mumbled, giving that worrying look on her eyes and stared at the picture of daddy on the table.

''Umma, Saranghayeo.'' I mumbled as I her hair.

With that, she pulled away and stared at my face.

''What is that? You sound like you want to say something to me.'' she rose her eyebrow giving me a teasing smile.

''No. I just love you and dad so much that I can't lose you.'' I said and hugged my mom so tight she was choking.

''Oh, my dear lovely princess, I love you so much too.'' she leaned her chin on my head as I closed my eyes and captured that memory with my loving mom.

''I love you and your dad. I always dreamed about you both since I was young like you.'' she mumbled as I opened my eyes and listened.

''I wanted to find someone who would love me. A man who would love me till I die. I wanted a man who express through actions more than words. Then, your dad came. My handsome husband came.'' she smiled and stared at the invisbible air as I looked at her lovely face.

Wow, she must love dad so much.

 Mama, huh? Me too. I love daddy too.

And I'm worried as waiting for him to come back from work. Hopefully he will.

He's so damn sick still forcing himself to go to work.

Ding Dong....

The doorbell rang as stood on my feet and peeked on the hole seeing dad.

''Huh! Appa~~!'' I opened it up and jumped, hugging him. His heartbeat was fast, maybe because he ran coming here? We don't have any transportation afterall.

Daddy is working so hard to provide mom and me more needs.

''Appa! I told you there's no need to go to work!'' I yelled.

''I know, darling. But appa wanted to. Too bad my boss asked me to come back.'' he mumbled.

''HA!'' I hit dad's forehead.

''Ouch, this kid, really!'' he tapped my head.

''Sit down, appa.'' I said as I closed the door and dad went in.

''Can you go buy me and your mommy something to drink in the neighbourhood?'' he asked as soon as he sat next to mom and kissed her.

I spazzed as mommy hugged him and leant her head on his chest. I know how that feels.

I giggled.

''But it's kinda...far?'' I compained.

I looked at dad's crumpled shirt and exhausted eyes. He must be so tired especially now that he's sick.

I should at least do this for him.

''Okay fine, I'll be right back in a while!'' I waved my hand to mom who was smiling looking at dad, then closed the door.