Princess of SM Town

2012 ; Into Your World

♔

Hello, everyone. My name is Jung Mikki. It’s been a while, isn’t it? Well, a lot of crazy things happened this past few years and I think now is the perfect time I tell you all about it.

You guys better prepare yourself because the next few hours with me is going to be a roller coaster ride.

Let’s start in the year 2012. That was when I first got back to Korea after three years of being exiled from the country. No, I’m just kidding. I wasn’t exiled. I just didn’t want to return after having my relationship with the entire SM Town got destroyed just because of a mistake I made. I’m sure all of you know what I’m talking about, right?

Well, let me just refresh your memory just in case. Back in July of 2012, I got a call from Sooman appa to fly to Seoul immediately where he and my dad broke the news to me that Hwansuk appa died because of another heart attack. They wanted me to be there to see him for the last time. Without having time to grieve, they told me to stay in Seoul so I could spend time with Sooman appa and my friends in SM. I was strongly against the idea because I hated everyone at that time.

Ok, let me just explain to you why I have three fathers. My real dad, Jung Kijoo is best friends with SM’s founder, Lee Sooman, and one of South Korea’s most respected actors, Hong Hwansuk. They were best friends back in college and their friendship was like no other. They treated each other like they were real brothers and that is the reason why I came to have three fathers. I was born and raised in LA but would make frequent visits to South Korea when I was a child. Then in middle school my dad, Kijoo, became crazy busy with work that he didn’t have time for me anymore. So what he did was send me to Sooman and Hwansuk appa’s care from 7th-9th grade. I lived with Sooman appa and his family because Hwansuk appa would always come home from work late, but nevertheless would spend his free days with me. They really cared for me a lot and treated me like I was their real daughter.

Because I was with Sooman appa so much, I got exposed to the entertainment industry at the age of 11. I would always come by his workplace and meet lots and lots of people. Most of them were trainees and I was surprised to meet people who was the same age as me. Watching the trainees fascinated me because they looked really cool when they would practice dancing and singing. So one day, I joined a dance class and surprised everyone, including myself, that I was actually very good at it. When Sooman appa knew of this, he decided to make me a trainee as well and received training just like everyone else. I didn’t give it much thought; I only sang and danced because it was fun for me and I made lots of friends along the way.

When I visited the SM building, I met Sooman appa’s new boy group that had just debuted, which I had zero knowledge of, EXO. I was genuinely surprised to see familiar faces like Joonmyun, Minseok, Kris, Jongin, Chanyeol, and my very best friend, Sehun. I didn’t know the rest of the members because when they became trainees, I was already back in LA.

After meeting EXO, Sooman appa took me to a condo unit which my dad bought without my knowledge which wasn’t really a surprise for me. When I was a child, I had a very good relationship with my dad. But after leaving me with Sooman and Hwansuk, our relationship slowly went downhill from then. When I got back to LA in high school, my dad was never home and he never had time for me. I don’t know what went wrong but I was just numb enough to not care anymore.

I hated the idea of staying so much that I even tried to escape and fly back to LA without anyone knowing. Of course, Sooman appa was a powerful man and had his ways. My plan backfired and instead of flying back home, I got sent directly to the last place I’d want to be. Sooman appa was furious when I saw him in his office but because he and I could never stand fighting each other, we made up right away.

The next time I visited SM, I was set up by Sehun and Krystal for a confrontation with Tiffany unnie and Ryeowook oppa. I was very close to those two and I considered them as my real older brother and sister and they treated me twice as much and took care of me really well. So when we finally had the closure that was very much needed, I felt lost again when I heard their side of the story. I was happy that I finally got all the anger and frustration out of my chest after so many years. But I didn’t have the heart to forgive them just yet.

Time changes people and that’s exactly what happened to me. They can’t expect me to forgive and forget just like that. I lived every single day with regret and anger until I just became numb and it was all their fault. Back then, I was a sweet and playful kid. Everyone loved me and I loved them in return. Now, I am a rebellious teenager who doesn’t give a crap about a damn thing and just go to house parties. I, Jung Mikki, who grew up lonely without my real family beside me, found substitutes (whom I considered to be real) only to get treated like trash by them. There was definitely no way I could forgive them that easily. It was because of that experience that I have trust issues.

I thought long and hard about Sooman appa’s wish for me to stay. For two days, I locked myself in that condo unit and just thought about it. Finally, on the third day, I made up my mind and decided that I’d stay. I will stay not because I wanted to but because I realized that now that Hwansuk appa is gone, I’d never want to miss another opportunity to spend time with one of my appas anymore now that I have it. I decided to stay for Sooman appa’s sake.

On those three days that I was thinking, the SM Art Exhibition was currently happening. I was expected to attend the event on the first day but I just went on the last day. When I got there, it was already late and onlookers were already leaving. It was the perfect timing because I didn’t want to be seen by the public eye. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a famous person to have people stick their cameras to my face just to get a picture. It’s just that I grew up having that rule given by my parents and I just kind of adapted to it. So every time I was here in Seoul, I always had to wear something that would cover half of my face so that I won’t get recognized.

Going back to the SMArt Exhibition, I roamed around by myself and felt really uncomfortable to see everyone’s smiling faces either on the standees, photos, or VCRs that were playing all around the place. But I had to admit, the attractions were pretty cool. I stopped by the Genie AR Show and tried it since no one was there to see me do it anyways. I was surprised to see Chanyeol and Sehun all decked out in fancy stage outfits on the screen, giving me lessons to the dance of their song. I just stood there watching them teach me in amusement while laughing at them. When it was time to dance it with them, I didn’t move an inch from my spot and just watched the screen. I didn’t really want to do it and no one can stop me from doing what I like.

When I turned around to leave, I was surprised to see my two best friends, Krystal and Sehun, watching me and they immediately gave me an earful about not contacting them for the past few days. Then, they took me backstage and paraded me around for everyone to see that I stayed. I found it annoying that they did that but I couldn’t really win if it’s these two are behind it.

There, I met almost everyone again and they gave me their sincerest greetings and apologies which I had no choice but to accept because even though I said I couldn’t really forgive them just yet, it doesn’t mean that I never will. I took it as a first step in forgiving them; I’d do it slowly and carefully. And to tell you the truth, it was nice seeing everyone again too.

The Super Junior oppas almost suffocated me with their tight hugs. Ryeowook oppa even cried when he saw me. As usual, they were still very loud. The Girls’ Generation unnies couldn’t stop screaming when they saw me. All they did was coo at how much I grew up beautifully and said that they missed me so much. Surprisingly, Tiffany unnie didn’t cry and just gave way to her members so they could talk to me. But of course she wouldn’t let me leave without giving me a bone crushing hug and telling me how much I made her happy by staying. She even said that she’d make time for me and buy me clothes because all I’ve been wearing were sweats. I mean, what else am I supposed to wear? I mostly packed sweats because I thought I’d only be staying here for a few days without any social gatherings to attend.

But I didn’t protest against the idea of shopping because I did need new clothes for me to wear since I was already running out and it was kind of embarrassing looking like I’m a lost trainee in her practice attire being in the same place with these very famous people.

Ryeowook oppa and Tiffany unnie are one of the people I cherish the most. They were the first ones who made me felt loved (besides my appas). They were like my doting older brother and sister who tends to spoil me so much and I never complained once.

Things just got crazy when I saw SHINee. Even though they were also victimized with the candy incident, they didn’t really make me feel bad about the whole thing, thus I didn’t really held a grudge against them. They were all so considerate and understanding. It was also the first time I genuinely felt excited to see some super close friends from SM. Of course, Onew was still very silly and made all kinds of jokes that I greatly missed. Jonghyun was still um, how do I say this, flirtatious? When we were still trainees, he’d always tell me that he’ll make me his girlfriend when we get a little older. I know, it’s weird because I was 3 years younger than him but I really didn’t mind and just played along. Minho got really handsome over the years. Like wow. He gave me a very tight hug and told me that he was really happy to see me back. When I saw Taemin, my jaw just dropped. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the boy who I grew up with looking very mature now. It was actually Taemin who taught me how to dance, and that is why I am known to be the girl version of her in terms of dancng. Our bond revolves around dance and I am honored to have grown up with him through it. I actually have a huge crush on Taemin and he knows it. I’d actually date him if he ever asks me to.

Then there’s Key. Key is one of my very best friends next to Krystal and Sehun. He just really takes care of me a lot and teaches me the know-hows on how to survive living alone. I also love his fashion sense and his sense of humor. I have great respect for him. I don’t know what I’d do without Key. I don’t even know how I survived three years without him. So when I finally saw him, I gave him a super tight hug and I almost cried when I did. I was just so happy when I saw him. I really treated him as my family. But of course, the first thing that I get from him after he returns my hug is an earful about everything that I did and didn’t do for the past few years.

After meeting SHINee, we went then to f(x)’s room where I saw Victoria unnie, Amber, Luna unnie and Sulli. Like SHINee, I was close with f(x) too, and they weren’t part of the incident so greeting them wasn’t hard for me. Of course Victoria and Luna gave me tight hugs, Amber was so excited that she lifted me up with her surprising strength, and Sulli and I just smiled at each other.

Fun fact: I was set to debut with f(x) as the fifth member. I was so close to debuting with them that I even learned the choreography to LA chA TA and Chu~♡. But because my parents were against with Sooman appa’s decision to make me an idol, I didn’t debut in the end. Instead, I was replaced by Sulli who was set out to debut as an actress. And no, this isn’t the reason why I am not close with Sulli.

I really don’t have issues with Sulli. Even though we are the same age, we just really can’t connect and be friends with each other. Anyway, it doesn’t really matter since we’re still friendly with each other even though we’re not friends. There is no hate between me and Sulli.

I have a lot to say about my relationship with Krystal but I’ll just keep it short. Krystal and I have a very sister-like bond. In fact, we agreed at one point that we could be siblings, or maybe even twins in our past life because we’re really like black and white—very similar but different at the same time. We could talk about just about anything for hours since we’re very honest with each other and rely on each other a lot. Even though we fight at times, we believe that it’s just because we care about each other and would only deepen our bond after the fight.

After saying hi to f(x), Sehun was relieved that we’re finally going to meet s now but Krystal said she’d stay back with her members. I was annoyed because, why drag me all the way to meet everyone and not finish it properly? I’m sure she was just shy to see Jongin. So what happened was, Sehun was dragging me while I pulled Krystal along.

When we got to EXO’s room, it was pretty chaotic with all the other members around and I was a bit awkward because I didn’t know half of the members of EXO. Eventually, Krystal was able to escape successfully while I was stuck with Sehun and the EXO members. It was really interesting to see the twelve of them be so close with each other and I kind of felt jealous because their bond resembled my bond with the SM artists long ago.

While I sat there awkwardly, Baekhyun, one of the members that I just met, made the first move and talked to me. I was really happy that he did because I really felt out of place and he saved me from that Instead of asking me questions, which I expected him to do, he did the opposite and started talking about himself. I was surprised when he did but I didn’t complain. In fact appreciated it when he opened up to a stranger like me. Plus, he was really funny with how he talks animatedly.

As time passed by, the other members also talked to me and made me feel very comfortable. I was thankful to them.

Princess of SM Town

2012 ; Into Your World

Since almost everyone was busy with activities, I was always alone in the practice rooms but I really didn’t mind since I was used to being alone and eventually liked being alone. When I came back to LA, I didn’t have friends at my new school so I never really went out to hang out. Of course I was able to make friends after a while, but what I discovered in my time alone is that I was just fine by myself— I play well by myself.

I was brushing up my dancing in a new private practice room which Sooman appa provided for me and that’s where I was most of the time brushing up on my dancing, and even my singing. One day, I was visited by Jaewon oppa and told me that I have an assignment to learn BoA’s new song, Only One. I was taken aback because I really didn’t see what the purpose of that was since I wasn’t a trainee anymore. When he said that Sooman appa was the one who asked for it, I really didn’t have any say anymore. I watched the music video and I immediately wanted to learn it. As expected of BoA, her dancing is really at the top level and I really admire her for that. If I became an idol, I’d definitely want to become someone like her.

So after watching the video, I started practicing with Jaewon oppa, and I’m not bragging but, I got the dance smoothly. I always felt so accomplished whenever I’d be able to dance to a hard choreography like that. After practicing it for a few more times, Sehun and Luhan entered the practice room, and once again, I was confused with their sudden appearance. Jaewon oppa then told me that the real reason of having me learn this dance is to help them practice the dance with as BoA’s proxy for the couple dance which they’ll have to perform on one of the music shows.

I was annoyed at first because I felt that I was just being used but I simple brushed it away. I mean, I can finally dance with Sehun which we wanted to do for so long. I first practiced with my best friend and was surprised that he definitely improved his dancing skills over the years.

Then Luhan was next to practice with me. I was extremely nervous to dance with him because we didn’t really know each other yet and he was insanely handsome! It was hard to dance intimately with a stranger who’s not only very good in dancing, but also drop dead gorgeous. I was very thankful for Luhan though. He knew that I was nervous and awkward around him but he didn’t mind and made me comfortable as we danced together. From that day, I already like a lot of things about Luhan. I liked h