Jonghyun and I walked home without saying a word to each other. This had never happened before, not a memory that could stand by this experience. Jonghyun was always talkative, never leaving a stressful, choking atmosphere around anyone. Even when neither of us are interested in speaking a word to each other, he always would have something to say.

 Once we got to my house, Jonghyun and I stopped at the front steps - knowing what trauma would come next. We faced one another, our faces drained of any joy we might have ever experienced.

 "Do you really have to do this? Can't you just come with me the backway?"

 "No, he's my Dad. He deserves to know when I'm home. Besides, what if he calls the cops or takes it out on me later? I have to go through with this."

 "Sleep over at my house." He grabbed both of my hands, bringing them closer to his chest. I know he's trying to help, but it is only making it harder for me.

 "Jonghyun....you know I can't." I slid my hands out of his grip slowly, him putting them into his pockets; frustrated.

 "Please, don't be reckless and once he gets a hand on you just run as fast as you can to your room. Got it?"

 "Yep." I smiled a little, trying to give him the best reassuring face possible. He smiled back at me, in a kind, pitiful way. I hugged Jonghyun tightly, his arms wrapping around me carefully because of how fragile my body is.

 Even though it was tempting not to move out of Jonghyun's comforting hold, I knew I had to break out of the embrace before I would change my decision. This was an every day thing, I should be used to it by now and always hold my head up strong. No one should have to pity me, especially Jonghyun. Slowly, and almost painfully, I slipped out of Jonghyun's embrace and walked towards my front door. Once I put one hand on the door handle, I looked back at Jonghyun with a grin and pulling out a fist into the air, mouthing the words 'fighting'. He chuckled and did the same back, walking away towards the back of my house. I took in a deep breath, preparing myself mentally.

 I slowly opened the door, quietly closing it behind me. It took me a moment to realize I was crouching down, as if I was trying to subconsciously avoid him. Quickly, I straightened myself out and stood up straight, not wanting to be the weak Amber that I hated. 'I can do this, I've done it before.' I thought to myself.

 "Dad," I said in a broken voice, quickly clearing my thoat. "I'm home." I looked around and observed my surroundings, seeing the tv was on some channel. Dad was in indeed home, but I had no idea where he was. I knew I yelled loud enough for me to be heard, there wasn't a way he wouldn't have heard me unless he was asleep in his bed...but then again he always ends up crashing on the couch. He hasn't slept in his room for many years, so that conclusion was crossed off.

i then heard heavy footsteps close by, so I turned around saw him leaning against the wallway into the kitchen, a half-empty bottle of gin hanging from his side.

 His hair was messy and all I could smell was alcohol - even though he was a few yards away from me.

 "Dad..." I mumbled, a little startled.

 "Weren't you supposed to be home a while ago? I'm pretty sure your school ends around 4:00 and study programs don't begin till 6:00. Were you in trouble, girl?" The way the word 'girl' rolled off his tongue was rough and surprisingly sharp, as if an old, rusty razor blade sliced my heart just now. My father's voice had no grain of care in it, rather like a master being displeased with the way his worker was acting. He took a sip from the gin bottle, using his arm to wipe off the excess liquid.

 "I'm sorry. I got caught up in some homework, I hope you'll understand. I am working very hard for college."

 "Huh?" his eyebrows furrowed together. "You hope I'll understand!?"

 "Yes, s-sir." I said meekily, my body beginning to shake as he began to walk closer to me. My eyes averted to the floor, not wanting to know what happens next and praying I could just skip this part. The stench of alcohol got even stronger; it took every part of me not to gag.

 "How dumb do you think I am?" he mumbled, his voice angry.

 I looked up at him, knowing he would hate it more if I didn't give him eye contact. "What do you mean sir?" I said, my voice even quieter.

 Instantly, I felt the back of his hand crash into the side my face, whipping out any breath I had left in me and causing me to cough. My hands instantly covered up the red mark that now burned and ached like no tomorrow. 'Don't cry Amber' I had to keep telling myself, wanting to stay strong and be the Amber someone one could be proud of.

 "Don't you lie to me!! I'm your father! How dumb do you think I am!? You're out around, aren't you? I can just picture it..." he put one hand on my sleeve "....You lifting up your shirt..." and then moved his hand to a belt loop on my pants "....and un-zipping those pants to all those guys at school just to get a lousy piece of money." He yanked at my belt loop harshly, causing it took snap and hang from my pants. My eyes looked at my father in horror, thinking this is what my father thought of me.

 "N-No sir. I s-s-swear that isn't the c-c-c-case." His eyes showed no sympathy for me, no mercy and no affection. All the traits a father should have has been gone since then.

 "Girl, you're a and don't lie to me! I'm not an idiot. Are you saying I look like one!?" His voice began to get louder again, it made me cringe.

 "Father, no. You are a very smart, careful man." I said, bowing slightly to him. He began to chuckle.

 "About time you see that, girl." He grabbed me by the arm and whipped me towards the stairs, yanking the skin on my upper arm. "Now go to your room and plan about what guy you are gonna screw tomorrow." He began to laugh, as I ran up the stairs and quickly opened my bedroom door, shutting it strongly behind me. Even though I knew he wouldn't think twice of breaking down a down, it made me sleep better at night knowing I locked it. I leaned my back against the door and closed my eyes, a loud sigh escape my mouth from the pleasure of knowing that pain was over.

 "Amber...." I looked in front of me and saw Jonghyun sitting on the edge of my bed. He got up and walked over to me, instantly taking me into his embrace.

 "I can't do this anymore. I can't bare to see you treated this way anymore. It kills me Amber, it kills me. Please, just run away with me. I'll protect you and make sure no one harms you." His kind words made a tear drop from my face, reminding me this was my life and I couldn't just run away from it. Escaping wasn't even an option.

 "He even touched your beautiful face." He was going to put his hand on my face, but I quickly flinched away from his touch, both embarassed and not wanting to feel pain. Both of his arms were around me again and were now a little tighter around me, making me accidentally hiss in pain. Seeing he was hurting me, Jonghyun instantly let go and observed me.

 "I'm sorry! Where else did that bastard hurt you?" His eyes were red, showing how emotional this was for me.

 I smiled and bowed a little bit, saying "I'll be right back. Please excuse me." Not wanting him to see me hurt, I walked quickly over to the bathroom. I could see Jonghyun following, but I quickly locked the door so he couldn't get in.

 "Yah! Amber!" he yelled, frustrated. I didn't have to worry about him yelling, the bedrooms of my house were practically sound proof thank god.

 "I'm sorry Jonghyun, but I don't like having you see me like this." I took off my shirt and threw it on the towel rack, wearing a camisole underneath, and looked at my body. There were bruises all around my arms, a new one forming now where my dad had yanked me. My face was lucky in this case, only being red and sore. There wasn't a scratch or anything, so there shouldn't be a mark left on that.

 "You know I don't care Amber, just please let me in." he pleaded. Ignoring him, I got a small towel and put it under the cold water in my sink. I dabbed it on my new wounds, trying not to make a noise from the pain. After a few moments, I stopped the sink and put the towel back on the rack and opened the door to see Jonghyun waiting desperately for me to come out.

 "Will you stop locking the door? I respect your privacy, but I still want to be there for you. Nothing will make me uncomfortable you know, I just want to see you are alright." I smiled and hugged him lightly, not putting pressure on my body.

 "You're a great friend Jonghyun, thank you." I smiled. He couldn't help but smile, hugging me back carefully.

 After a moment, we walked over to my bed and laid down, Jonghyun tucking me into my blankets. We both faced each other on our sides, a small blush on my face.

 "Did you hear everything that happened?" I asked. He lifted up a hand and shook it side from side, meaning only some of it. "I'm sorry." I apologized.

 "Amber, don't be." he said warmly, a smile on his face. "I already said I'd be here for you, no matter what."

 I closed my eyes, exhausted from today.

~~~~

 I woke up around ten o'clock  at night (22:00), Jonghyun shaking me to wake me up.

 "Yo, Am'."

 "What is it?" I mumbled, not wanting to be disturbed from my sleep.

 "It's late, I have to go home now. Are you sure you don't want me to sleep over tonight? I wouldn't have an issue doing so of course."

 I smiled in my sleep, happy to have Jonghyun around, and said "It's fine, dinosaur. Just get a good night sleep for me at home." I smiled, hugging him before he left. He smiled and waved me off, opening and closing my balcony doors and leaving from the fire escape. My father wasn't the type to come back at me at night, rather he was probably watching tv or was out at a bar or too wasted to do anything. Soon, sleep hit me again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 "You're not singing your best today, Kai. Is everything alright??" 

 "Yah....I'm fine." I said, putting both of my hands in my hair in frustration. I am utterly exhausted. Waking up at three in the morning just to practice dancing and then at 6:30 to do singing. Not to mention only four hours of sleep. Damn idol life in Korea, why can't it be more relaxed like it is in almost every other country~?

 "Do you want to take a break?"

 "It's fine, from the top again please." I said, instantly wishing I had accepted his offer instead.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 "Good morning Amber!"

 "Good morning Choi-yang (Mrs.Choi)!!" I said, waving to her. I decided to walk up to her, bowing to her. "The flowers in your shop windows are beautiful! If I had the money, I would buy them all from you!

Choi-yang giggled at my remark and said "Here, come with me." We walked into her shop and over to the flowers. "Which one is your favorite?"

 "I think my favorite is the red one. Sorry, I'm not good with names." I put a hand behind my head, feeling a bit like an idiot. She analyzed the flowers, putting a hand up to her chin, before reaching up to a flower and popping it of it's stem.

 "Put this in your hair or uniform pocket. I think it will look quite beautiful on you." she smiled, putting it in my hair.

 "Thank you. I didn't mean to hurt your flowers though."

 "It's fine, they still look beautiful, don't they?"

 "That's true. Thank you Choi-yang, you're too kind." I bowed again. She looked up at the clock behind me.

 "Don't you have school, dear?" she said with a smile. Oh no, I'm going to be late again. I don't want detention today, I can't!

 "Thank you! I have to leave, I'm sorry! Bye!" I bowed and ran out of the shop and headed to school, knowing I was going to be late if I didn't hurry.

~~~~

 "About time you're here, Amber. I thought you were going to be late." Jonghyun said, chuckling at my flustered appearance. I had just ran to the front door of homeroom, seeing Jonghyun waiting up for me.

 "Oh shut up, Jonghyun." I said, giggling. He began to comb my hair with his fingers, trying to make it look less messy.

 "I like the flower." he commented. "It suits you."

 "Thank you. It was a gift from Choi-yang." I said, blushing again.

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 I finally updated! Don't hate me please! I am still a big Amber fan. It is just my life has been very strong lately, having some change and a lot going on. I switched schools in December, back to the school I originally transferred from, only to get really sick in February and find out my disease is being a pain again. I can't go back to school until next year, so I am being held back. >~< It lol, but maybe it will be an oppurtunity for me write more? I hope you liked the story. Feel free to critique it, love you guys <3! Thank you for waiting, and for those that dropped this I understand and I strongly apologize! Have an awesome day ~~ !!