For a moment, everything was frozen in place. Luhan just stared into those honey brown eyes. It felt like time was skewered. Had he been staring at the boy for days or only seconds? He didn't know the answer to that.

Sehun cleared his throat awkwardly, uncomfortable with the boy's intense stare. He was giving Sehun mixed signals. There was a vulnerability in the way he carried himself, like at any moment he could break down. But, at the same time, there was a hard shell. He'd built a wall around himself and was determinded not to let anyone in.

Sehun prided himself in his ability to be able to read people, but this Luhan fellow ... he was near impossible to understand. Why would he so carelessly and thoughtlessy try to end his life?

"Sorry, but do you mind getting off of me?" he asked shyly.

Luhan's eyebrows flew into his hairline and he muttered a note of confusion, before looking down and realising that he was practically laying on top of Sehun.

"Oh. Sorry." Luhan sat up and stood up. He glanced around for a moment, before offerring Sehun a hand. Sehun looked at the boy first, at the hand and then at the boy again. Finally, he accepted and stood up.

"Were you going to jump off?" he asked bluntly. Luhan flinched. Sometimes he thought about it, yes, but never would he ever commit the deed. The action and the thought were two different things entirely and should be thought of as such, in his opinion.

"For your information, no, I did not just try and jump off. In fact, I was about to go back to my room when you pulled me off ..." Luhan in a massive breath and pulled up the sleeve of his jumper, showing Sehun his elbow. "And look, you made me bleed."

Sehun stared at him for a moment, lost for words. For one, he did not believe a word out of the boy's mouth. He would like to believe it, but he just couldn't. Something was telling him that this mysterious boy was not happy with his life.

"And if you had fallen, you'd have died! I think that a scrape is worth it. After all, you never died." Sehun gave him a prize winning smile. Luhan glared for a few moments, but eventually, the sides of his mouth twitched up.

"I told you, I wasn't going to kill myself," Luhan muttered defiantely, though not loud enough that Sehun could hear him. However, the latter did indeed hear, he just ignored the comment.



Sehun looked around awkwardly. "It's cold," he said bluntly.

"I know."

Again, there was an awkward silence that neither could seem to break. Being the loud personality, Sehun came up with an idea first.

"Hey, Luhan, you want to get some coffee or something?" Sehun asked, wanting to find out more about the boy.

"Um ..." Luhan hesitated. He should be going to the cardio workout right now. Then again, he'd just had surgery, there was no way for him to be up for it, yet. He could afford to miss one session, no harm could come of it.

Luhan gave a curt nod, giving his affirmation.

"Beautiful." Sehun gave another grin, one that Luhan couldn't resist smiling back to.

They headed to the door, leaving the iPod on the floor, forgotten.

They walked down to the cafeteria togther, and some nurses did a double take when they seen Luhan walking with this new boy. Who was he? And why was he walking with Luhan? Was he another person in the same condition?

When the got to the caferteria, they were saddened to see that it was crowded. Sehun made use of his great height, staring over the tops of everyone's heads, looking for a place to sit. Once he found a place, he grinned.

"Beautiful," he muttered, again. Luhan cocked his head to the side, pondering.

Beautiful - that was a word that he'd heard used to describe the outside world. Places like Disneyland (wherever or whatever that was) and theme parks. He admitted that he wanted to desperately go to a place where it was “beautiful”.

Sehun began to walk towards the table, took note of the large crowd, thought and then grabbed Luhan's hand.

Luhan, shocked by the sudden action, tried to free himself, but Sehun never let go. He dragged Luhan towards the table, easily parting the sea of people with his broad shoulders and tall height.

Luhan tried to make himself as small as possible, as he followed Sehun to the table. He curled his shoulders inwards and kept his head down. When there was a lot of people around, he just wanted to be invisible.

They sat down across from each other at the table. Luhan was constantly fidgeting in his seat, looking around at everyone with wide doe eyes. It made Sehun grin like a dork. He didn't know why.



~*~*~*



After an hour of talk ranging from the most drab and boring things up until Sehun's family life and his health conditions, they had relaxed enough that Luhan was no longer looking around. His undivided attention was on Oh Sehun, and that was where he liked it.

"Luhan, can I ask you a question?" Sehun asked, watching the boy's every reaction.

Luhan hesitated - a life time of boring routine and no friends will do that to you - before eventually agreeing. "Go ahead, Sehun."

"Why were you going to jump off?"

Luhan cast his eyes down. "Listen, I wasn't, and that's the last time I'm going to say that. Just accept it, okay?"

Sehun nodded mutely, again saying nothing. "Is there a reason that you would ever do it? I'm not saying you were, I'm just asking if there was a reason," he added quickly, seeing Luhan's darkening expression.

The corners of Luhan's mouth twitched up in mock humor. "I'm not allowed to."

Luhan permitted himself to laugh. It was a dry humorless laugh that chilled Sehun to the very core. Truthfully, Luhan found it both hilarious and sick.

What was a life worth? That was the question in hand. The answer? Several other lives.

What was his kidney worth? The boy sitting opposite him.

"Not, not, not allowed to?" Sehun stammered, both creeped out and intrigued.

"Yes, you heard right."

"Why?" This boy opposite him interested Sehun greatly. What was he talking about? What was his story? There was a million and one questions that Sehun wanted answered.

Luhan smiled sadly, all the hilarity of his life's situation was gone as quickly as it appeared. "Someday, I hope to know the answer, too," he said, doing nothing to curb Sehun's interest.



~*~*~*



"It was nice talking to you, Luhan."

"Likewise, Sehun."

They both grinned goofily.

"I, um, need to go to the bathroom and to see the nurse. See you later?" Luhan sounded hopeful. He wanted to see more of the tall boy, who found it hard to not smile. It was a nice change from the seriousness of everyone he knew in his everyday life. The boy was like a refreshing drink after a long, tiring marathon, and Luhan didn't want to let him out of his sight just yet.

"Sure, room three-oh-five, right?" Sehun asked, making sure to double check where Luhan would be. He wasn't ready to let this baffling boy go just now.

"Yeah, three hundred and five," Luhan confirmed. "You swear you'll come and see me? Promise?"

Sehun laughed merrily. "Yeah, Luhan, I promise. Why, are you bored?" he teased.

"Maybe."



~*~*~*



Sehun knocked on Luhan's door and kicked his foot, scuffing the floor, while he waited for an answer. When he got none, he opened the door an inch, calling out to Luhan.

Hearing none, he went into the room, figuring he might as well wait for Luhan in the room. He walked over to the bed and flopped down on it. He felt something hard underneath him, so he reached under the blanket and pulled it out.

It was the black leather diary from earlier. Luhan had shouted at him for having it earlier, but he hadn't seen anything. Well, that was a lie, he'd seen a date, but that was it. Luhan's anger made him curious about what was in the notebook.

He looked around the room and gulped. Ever so slowly, he opened the book. The inside of the book was covered in doodles and squiggles. He began to flick through the pages, they were all filled with dates of blood transfusions.

Sehun briefly wondered why anyone would give so much blood. It seemed to date back for a few years. Surely over the time, the amount of blood accumulated from his donations must be enough for three people.

He continued to flick through the journal until he found an entry, stating that he donated his left kidney. He frowned. That date ...

He shook his head, trying to dismiss his unease. He went through a couple of more senseless notes until he came across another one.



Dr. Nam said that I'm to donate a third of my liver in a couple of months. He also said that I should prepare for a bone marrow donation. That's supposed to be very sore. I'm scared.



Sehun mouthed each of the words, his pity for the older boy intensifying. He sniffed loudly.

Without a warning, the door swung open.

"What do you think you're doing with that?!" a voice asked angrily, his outrage evident.

Sehun could only form one thought, "Oh, ."

By : TheChuglyOne