The rain drop poured through the sky as he expressionlessly stared out the window pane into the dreary scene. Faint splattering sounds came from outside, hissing as lighting struck the sky. The sound of the wind tugging at the trees could be heard and small droplets of water left trails as they rolled down the dark glass.


Then, he drifted his gaze back into the room where he was staying, for his whole life. There’s the uncomfortable, rigid bed at the corner of the room. The overwhelming brightness of eggshell white nearly causes him to lose sight. Everything is empty and devoid of emotion, occupying with the loneliness. The smell of cleaning products, according to the antiseptic, sterile nature of the hospital, lingers through his nose as usual. People wouldn’t make eye contact. Even if the random person tried to smile, it would probably be a weak and fake one. And he, himself, didn’t bother to smile anymore.


The day was dull and boring with the same thing rewinding day by day, just as a single day is repeating non-stop. At 6am, his eyes would automatically open like there’s an alarm clock connected to his brain. There would be the same old prawn soup ready for breakfast as he hurriedly finished it. Then, he would go up for medical check-up if all of his organs are well and healthy. The taste of medicines, vitamins and the hospital junks never meet his tastes for their bitterness. Sure, he’s healthier than most people, probably by the daily dose that he had to take every single day. His muscles are stronger, thanks to his personal trainer who took him to the training room for his cardio workout, 3 hours per day. He didn’t even know the reason why he is living, with his life going on so statistically.

He wanted a normal life.

After all of his schedule, he would go to the in-door park for patients with his ‘The city of bones’ book and read it while sitting on one of the branch. He didn’t remember much but it is given to him as a present when he was younger, aged about 10. Well, he had read it 60 times and this time would be his 61th. He didn’t have the guts to admire the beautifully decorated park with a mini playground attached to it. He never did.


Meanwhile, the ball touched his foot which surprised him. He reached out for the ball when he spotted a kid with big doe eyes running towards him.

“Here,” he said as he tried to smile genuinely. But he failed. It has been a long time he didn’t smile and he almost already forgot how to do it.
“Thanks gege. What’s your name?” the little boy asked in Chinese.
“Umm, I don’t know Chinese,” he said after hesitating for awhile before answering.
“I mean ‘What’s your name?’” he repeated in Korean.
“Oh that? I’m Luhan,” he answered, ruffling his own tousled hair shyly. He didn’t know himself why he acts like this in front of a mere kid.
“I thought you’re Chinese, Luhan hyung. You look like Chinese and your name too.”
“Umm, I don’t know. I just know I was raised here. By the way, what is your name?”
“Sehun. Oh Sehun,” the boy grinned, while pronouncing his name.
                                                                                                                               -x-x-

Days and years passed without counting, only that the hospital was upgraded here and there. Sometimes, he missed that little boy he saw years ago.
“Luhan, we’ve been finding you since past hour. The operation will begin within half an hour. Be prepared,” the nurse said.


This will be the very first person he would donate his organ. Dr.Nam has informed him that he’ll be donating his left kidney a day ago. Well, he has no right to say, ‘yes’ or ‘no’. He was raised for it anyway. He took out a black leather book which is abandoned a long times ago in the drawer. In there, there were small, precise handwriting as he flipped page to page. It has been a long time he didn’t write a diary. He did, when he was younger; he wrote about his dreams and imagination. As days passed, there was nothing to write anymore, since everyday is nothing but with the same routine.


When he reached a certain page, he took out the pen which is tucked beside the book. Glad that the ink is not dry nor run out yet.
Then, he wrote:

20th April, 2013
The first time I’m donating my organ. After about 5 hours, I would be staying with my right kidney.

He ended up with a full stop, closing the book before putting it back into the drawer.
                                                                                                                                 -x-x-

The bright light lit up just above his head while there were people wearing full greenish-blue costume surrounding, with their masks and gloves on. Some of the nurses are staying beside where the operation knife and tools are placed.
He did what the doctor instructed. He closed his eyes, mentally counting; 10,9,8,7,6,5,…
Then he drove off to sleep.
                                                                                                                                 -x-x-

Another day is the same as he woke up in his rigid bed, only that it is not raining. He was already in his room again. He managed to sit beside the window pane despite of the pain, he watched the astral-blue sky lacing with taffy clouds while the birds are humming their own tune. The beautiful scene doesn’t excite him anymore. The pain, it struck in his nerve whenever he tried to move, and he hated it.


“Luhan, there’s someone who wants to meet you,” the nurse said before he turned around to face the person.
Her large eyes were sparkling with dazzling dark brown, her wavy long hair sway perfectly on her feminine body. The sound of her heel cracks every step she walks towards, on the marble floor.

“Thanks for saving my Sehuniee,” she said, her rosy lips curved slightly upward as she made a small smile.
“That’s how I live for. You don’t need to thanks,” Luhan said nonchalantly. “How’s he?”
“He’s still unconscious. The doctor said he’s saved and will wake up within an hour,” she said with a monotone. There’s a trace of sadness in her voice.

Luhan nodded, his face is still the same; no sympathy, no worry and no kindness at all. The words of feelings are excluded in his dictionary.

“But I don’t know why he still did not wake up,” the girl said again as her lips began to tremble.
He stood still, not knowing how to react to the girl who is just about to cry.
“Sorry if I’m disturbing you. I’ll leave now.”
“Wait,” he said abruptly, making the girl slowly face to him again.
“What’s your name?”
                                                                                                                                         -x-x-

Luhan went to the top of the building hoping for some fresh air. He felt so suffocated with the smell of hospital which he inhaling daily. Just when he reached the edge, the strong breeze welcomes with a tight hug while the faint sunlight embracing him warmly. That would be the first time he had ever admire the beauty of nature.

Then, something snapped into his thought. A voice. But that’s of something he had never heard. It was soft and there’s a long breath hold. The pitch become high, after steady, and then lowers again. The ending was smooth with a little bit of shaking sound. Curiosity urges Luhan to follow the voice, and there he saw the figure of a guy. After hesitating for a while, he approached him.

“What did you just do?”
The guy turned around in surprise. “What did I do? What do you mean by what I do?” He asked confusingly with his eyebrows slightly raised.
Luhan ruffled his usual tousled hair frustratingly. “No, I mean,” he paused, thinking for awhile. “Your voice, what did you just do to your voice?”
“What do you mean? I did nothing to my voice,” the guy answered. After a few seconds of thinking, he again spoke, “Ahh, I sang? Yes, I sang.”
“Sang? What is ‘sang’?” Luhan asked. He had been living in a boring life since he was born. Despite of lacking feelings, an unknown sense rose up under his cells, wanting to know that new thing, even willing to learn if he could.

The young guy looked at him in disbelief with the mysterious glare hidden behind his almond eyes.
“Oh no, don’t tell me that you don’t even know what ‘music’ is!”
*Music, what is that thing?* Luhan questioned in his head, and then he simply answered, “No.”

Suddenly, a soft, yet, firm voice comes out from the young guy’s throat; at least, he guessed that comes from his throat. Luhan’s eyes sparkled. That’s what he means! His lips moved according to the exact beat as far as Luhan observed it.
*This is strange. How does he do it? *

Then, he stopped, but before placing an earphone in Luhan’s ear. His eyes widen as something foreign to him was inserted into his ears. The melody begins as the young guy pressed something which he held on his palm.

“What is your name?” He asked out of the blue.
“Luhan.”
He nodded, “I’m Sehun. Take this if you want for a while, Luhan,” he smiled, handing an iPod shuffle to Luhan.
He looks at the tiny thing placed in his hand, puzzled.
Noticing him, Sehun guides him how to use it. Succeeding on using a new stuff, Luhan smiled in satisfaction as his firm lips curved upward and his doe eyes turned into crimson moons while his defined eyebrows curved beautifully. This is the first time he succeeded to smile.

Sehun look at him in silence, admiring his good look. *He’s so cute. Maybe he’s only about 17 or 18?*
“How old are you?”
“23,” Luhan said, uninterested as he was busy playing with the iPod shuffle, switching song to song.

“23,” Sehun nodded, “Wait, 23?” His eyes were now as wide as donuts. *23 years old with this baby face? * “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Sehun laughed awkwardly, finding hard to believe the fact that Luhan is much older than him. Envy his look.
“No, I’m really 23 years old,” Luhan confirmed his age again, a little annoyed at Sehun’s sudden outburst.
                                                                                                                            -x-x-

Sehun dashed towards where the nurses are sitting.
“Do you know where the patient Luhan’s room is?” He asked, mentally blaming himself that he forgot to ask his room number.
“Luhan?” the nurse asked, thinking for a while, then continue, “He’s not a patien-"
“Oh, patient Luhan? He’s in room 305,” the older nurse awkwardly smile, cutting the younger one’s sentence while looking at her with don’t-you-dare-say face. The younger one flinched, but kept silence.
“Thank you,” Sehun said, and then left.
                                                                                                                             -x-x-

“I don’t want this child. I told you to kill him!” The young woman, aged about 20 shouted. Her hairs were dark brown. Her eyes filled with anger and hatred. The doctors have expected this reaction while most of the nurses were purely shock. Miss.Jang was one of them. She was only 22 back then when encountering the incident.
“If you don’t, I’ll kill him with my hands,” the young lady shouted again, “let go of me!” Her eyes were red and she tried to escape from the grip of the securities and the doctors.

“What if you have another option?” the man from the crowd started to speak. There was a dead silence until he directed himself towards the young lady. His eyebrows were thick while his eyes were sharp. The strange man let out a mysterious smile with an evilness radiating from his dark orbs.
The woman stopped, staring at him.
“Well,” the man started, “I’ll adopt that child.”

Everyone let out a relief sigh. At least there’s someone who is kind enough to adopt someone who is nearly killed.

“But there’s one condition,” he paused, “That child will be kept at this hospital. I’ll pay everything that charges on him while he must donate his organs. The cost given for each organ will be handed to me. And I’ll give you 10% of it.” The strange man finished while his gaze landed on the young woman, waiting for approval.

The doctors look completely unhappy about the idea but things keep going on by the mother’s decision.

“Deal,” she finally spoke.
Miss Jang was utter shock. *Am I seeing some kind of devils?*

“Mrs.Jang!” The older nurse snapped out of her flashback only after 5 minutes hand waving in front of her face.

“Oh sorry,” she said as she mentally sigh.
Just then, the young boy came into their view.
“Excuse me”
“Oh, Luhan! I think you would be on your cardio work out, according to your daily schedule,” said Mrs.Jang as she flipped through the papers.
“Yes, I’ll be going. I want to know where patient Sehun room is.”
“Room 304!” the younger nurse shouted.
Luhan went out with single thanks while Mrs.Jang looked at her in disbelief.
“He’s good looking,” the younger nurse giggles, “So, of course, I remember it.”
“Sehun. Oh Sehun,” she repeated the name.
                                                                                                                              -x-x-

“Where’s he?” Sehun wondered, looking around Luhan’s room. He waited for a while by sitting on the chair beside the window where Luhan usually sit. Still, he did not come yet.

Luhan stood in front of the door which read “304.” He knocked the door. No answer. Then, he decided to just go in. There’s no one so he leave the room, back to his own.

On the other side, Sehun couldn’t help but to explore around the room. There’s a black leather note book inside the drawer when he unintentionally opened it. Meanwhile, the door burst open.

“Don’t touch it!” Luhan furiously shouted as he snapped away the book from Sehun’s hand. Mrs.Jang walk past through the door and she overheard the conversation. *This is the first time he had ever made an expression.”

Just then, someone came in.
“Sehun! I was looking for you.”
“Oh, Sekyung noona!”
Luhan blinked, hearing the name. He turned around to see the girl, wondering if he’s right. “Oh Sekyung?”

*So, that Sehuniee she had mentioned is this Sehun?*

By : xoxoxiaolu