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Now to the actual story of my life two years after my parents died…

 As you now know, I am 17 years old and I’m a senior at Seoul High. I’m a scholar at this school due to my soccer skills that I polished during the days when my dad was still alive. But to stay in the team, I have to let my grades stay sky high which is becoming a problem to me recently and I don’t know why.

“Pass the ball!!”

“Pass the freakin ball!”

“Do not score the goal! YAH! Kim--”

“Jongin.” I stopped writing and looked up to see my teacher looking at me with her soft eyes that made me nod slowly as I walked towards her.

“Ne songsaengnim?” I asked.

“After class, I want you to stay. I need to talk to you.” She said gently.

I nodded and went back to my seat to finish the exercises. After a few minutes, we passed our papers to the teacher’s desk and the rest headed out of the room. When the last person went out after quite some time, I looked at Mrs Seo Joo Hyun. Yes, she is married. It makes me curious who her husband is for someone so beautiful as she, but I shrugged the thought off. I'm also curious as to why she uses her maiden name, but again that shouldn't bother me.

“Come here.” I obliged. Her gentle face slowly turned serious as her eyebrows furrowed.

“Kim Jongin.. Do you know that you’re failing? You won’t be able to follow your dreams for your parents--”

“I know.” Actually, I didn’t know.

“Then do something about it!--”

“I know.” My facial expression unchanged as I cut her off.

After the silence was hurting both our ears, she finally spoke. “Okay, you may leave.” She shook her head and pointed to the door. I went out slowly, thinking about everything as I closed the door.

I’m failing.

 My grades are getting too low for scholarship.

I’ve been distracted recently.

“Kim Jongin! Don’t kick it!”

“Don’t score the goal! You’re not on your right mind today!”

Yes I’m not. It’s my parent’s death anniversary today. I would be thinking of them and not this stupid game that will save my scholarship.

“West High wins!”

We lost.

I lost.

***

My name is Kim Jongin, I’m 17 years old, I’m poor and I don’t have a school to study in anymore. My grades were crashing down and I even messed up the game, so I was kicked out of the school. I can’t even afford the tuition so I decided not to continue.

“Halmoni! I’m home.” I called out.

“Come here! I need your help.” I removed my shoes, threw my bag on the floor and rushed to my grandmother who was cooking.

“Mianhe halmoni… I blew my dream away… For mom and dad-- ”

“Arasseo. Gwenchanna. Help me. I left your dad’s watch at the restaurant, could you get it?” She didn’t look at me; instead she was flipping the pan here and there, preparing our dinner. “Pali.” She put down the pan and gave me a look.

“A-arasseo.” I turned to leave.

“Oh and Jongin-ah. Someone called up awhile ago wanting to apply. I forgot, so just check if he’s still there, arasseo?”

I nodded and went out of the door.

While trudging Seoul’s surfaces, I poetically thought of some words.

Life goes on. Hardships come, success follows.

Sadness is always there but happiness is just hiding in the hollows.

I’m here yet I feel I just want to disappear.

I look up at the sky dramatically; it’s getting dark so I quicken my pace. There were still so many people doing their business. I look at each person and wonder about their life.

It’s not my problem but it really makes you think. That girl who’s smiling there, does she know pain like I do? And that kid crying to his mother, would he understand how I’m feeling? It makes you wonder if some people are in the same situation as you.

Well if there is such a person, please come to me. I need you.

The clock was ticking and I was just dawdling around wondering about others. Halmoni told me to do something yet I’m slowly walking and taking my time. You shouldn’t do that when someone tells you to do a task, even if it’s not important, just do it right away as if your life depends on it.

I reached the restaurant to see no one. I guess the person who called halmoni up must have left, I’ll just tell her that later. I unlocked the door and headed inside to the kitchen. When I saw the watch on top of the sink, I smiled. I don’t know why I did, but just looking at the watch reminds me of my parents. My dad bought it for my mom but it was too small to fit her wrists so instead, he gave it to my grandmother.

The watch was still glimmering even if it’s old. I smiled and took the watch right away and headed out. Locking the door before I leave, I thought about life all of a sudden. Flashes of my parents, my grandmother, school… me. All in one go, it just appeared.

I walked along the road, looking at the cars passing by and the lights flickering here and there. Past memories appearing again. All the pain and suffering that I had to go through at a young age; losing your parents is a big thing, especially when they gave you so much memories. Same goes for love, but that’s a different topic to expound on.

I crossed the street in deep thought. I remember seeing the green light flicker so I took my time crossing the lane.

I must be crazy…

I must be weird…

I took time that I didn’t even look if the light changed.

Well… It did.

And what’s worse is that I was still walking on the pedestrian lane.