As the three of us sat in the lobby of the residence hall where Chen Feng's dorm was, I examined the room. The lobby was simple and spacious, yet there was a cozy and welcoming air about it.

I guess living here wouldn't be so bad…

"Sheng Yi, did you hear me?" asked Chen Feng.

"What? Did you say something?"

"I said that I heard the Art Department is going to have a gallery showcasing art created by students. I asked if you were entering," he said while propping his feet on the coffee table.

"Uh, Professor Liang did ask me about that, but I don't know."

"You should totally enter!" Gui Gui said.

"Are you going to enter?" I asked her.

"Me? I can doodle, but I'm no artist. I've seen your work in class. You're amazing."

"So, are you going to enter?"

Indecisively, I said, "Uh…"

"You shouldn't be afraid to show the world your talent," she said with a smile.

I looked at Gui Gui. Her smile was simple, but it was strangely uplifting and encouraging.

"Okay, I'll do it."

"Awesome! Sheng Yi, do you have any idea what you're going to draw?" Chen Feng asked.

"I'm not sure. I'll go ask Professor Liang for ideas."

"You know you have a very handsome model right in front of you," he added while pointing to himself.

"Yeah, right," Gui Gui said, nudging him in the side. "Handsome like a pig."

"Hey! I'm as handsome as Sheng Yi."

"Sure, and where are those fangirls?"

"They're…"

"Uh, I'm going to go now. You two continue." I stood up and turned to leave with a smile. Seeing those two bicker was always an entertaining part of my day.

"Wait for me! I'll walk you out," Gui Gui said, getting off of the couch.

"Now you're gonna leave me all alone?" Chen Feng asked like a child.

She turned and said, "Don't worry. Remember, you have to walk me home. I'll be back in a bit."

We then turned and went through the exit. When we were outside I asked, "Gui, is there anything you want to say to me?"

She bit her lip and played with her fingers.

"Um, what I want to say is don't be afraid. Wang Zi, you're incredible. You can do anything as long as you don't give up."

"Thanks, Gui."

"Bye."

"Bye."

As she left, I smiled and watched her shadow slowly leave my side. I suddenly had this weird feeling in my heart, but I ignored it and went on my way.

"Time to find Professor Liang."

"Sheng Yi, I've seen your still life and it's beautiful. However this time, I want you to make something with more substance, more feeling," said Professor Liang.

"Feeling? What is that supposed to mean?"

"Here, I'll give you a prompt. Remember a time that changed your life. Let yourself drift to that moment. Let that memory take over. How were you feeling? What were you thinking? How did it impact you?"

"And then what?"

"And then you draw."

I sat at my desk and stared at my sketchbook, twirling a pencil in my right hand and leaning my head on the other. I closed my eyes and thought, hoping to find a good memory, but failed. I scratched my head and impatiently tapped my pencil against the desktop.

Maybe I'm not concentrating enough.

I got up and lay down on my bed. I placed my arms under my head and closed my eyes again. I listened to my heart beating in the silence and tried to focus.

Think. Think. Think. Think…

As I waited for her to wake up, I leaned against the wall and stared out the window. I basked in the sunlight, the only sense of warmth in this dim and cold room. I really wanted to leave this dark place, but I couldn't leave her here all alone. I turned to look at her lying on the clinic bed.

How could she lie about something like this? How could she push everyone away and let herself suffer alone?

I went and sat down on the edge of the bed. I looked at her face, wondering why God would punish her like this.

"Gui, you can't keep hurting yourself."

Immediately after my comment, her right hand started to move. I quickly turned to look out the window. I didn't want her to wake up and think I was watching her while she slept.

"Wang Zi?"

I turned and said, "Gui, you're awake."

"Where am I?" she asked as she sat up.

"The school clinic. You fainted, remember?"

"Oh, yeah."

I turned to stare at the window again as we sat in silence.

"I guess we should get to class now," Gui Gui said, turning to get off the bed.

"Why?"

"What? We're missing class right now."

I turned and looked at her. She seemed to be scared of my eye contact because she then stared at her hands.

"Why did you hide that you have cancer?"

She suddenly lifted her head and asked, "How did you find out?"

"Ya Tou told me."

"Oh."

"Gui, tell me why."

"I…"

"Hiding it doesn't solve anything."

"Wang Zi, I…"

"Answer me."

"I… Wang Zi," she said as tears rolled down her cheeks, "I'm sorry. I just don't want to keep holding onto something that I'm going to lose. I don't want the people I care about to get hurt."

"Gui…"

"I-I'm scared of what's going to happen in the future."

I quickly grabbed her and hugged her. I tried to keep my own tears from falling. I pitied her.

"Don't be afraid. Everything will be okay."

I let her cry into my chest a while more. When her tears stopped flowing, she left my embrace.

"Really?"

"Trust me."

I let her calm down for a bit before asking to look at her health report.

"Gui."

"What is it?"

"You don't have cancer."

"But it clearly says I do."

"This health report isn't yours. Besides, it says 'testicular cancer'."

"What?"

She quickly grabbed the paper and looked at it. Her eyes widened soon afterwards.

"Wu Yong Fei… Testicular cancer," she read. She then covered her face with the report and said, "I'm an idiot. Why didn't I see that before? Otherwise, I wouldn't be so embarrassed."

I got some tissues and gave them to her to wipe her tears.

"Gui, we'll go back to class when you're ready."

"Thanks, Wang Zi. And please don't tell anyone about this."

"What about Ya Tou?"

"I'll tell her. Promise me, please," she said with her right hand pinkie and thumb out.

"Okay."

Our pinkies hooked and our thumbs touched, making the promise official. I watched as Gui Gui turned into her regular cheery self with a smile on her face.

I opened my eyes and sat up.

Why was I thinking about that? Am I supposed to use that to draw?

I went and sat down at my desk. I gripped my pencil and prepared to draw. I stared at the blank sheet in my sketchbook. I dropped my pencil and stopped everything.

No, it can't be.

I ruffled my hair and leaned back onto my chair.

This is a lot harder than I thought.

"Do you have your part down?" I asked as we walked out of the library.

"Yes, Wang Zi."

I looked up at the sky and said, "It looks like it's getting dark. I'll walk you home."

"What about your car?"

"It's with the mechanic. I took the bus this morning."

"What? The great Wang Zi took the bus?"

"Haha," I sarcastically laughed.

"Aiyo, Wang Zi. Fine, you can walk me home."

We walked in silence. I thought of making conversation, but I was afraid it would just make things more awkward. Nevertheless, I decided to.

"Gui, what do you plan to do in the future?"

"Didn't I already tell you? I'm going to take care of my parents' book store."

"No, I meant relationship-wise."

"Um, I don't know. Why do you ask? Could it be that you're worried because you've fallen in love with me?"

"Of course not."

She chuckled and said, "I was joking. Don't be so serious."

We continued walking. When we reached an intersection, she pushed the pedestrian crossing button.

"Have you ever considered Chen Feng?"

"What?"

"You two seem to get along really well. I think you should maybe consider him."

She turned and sternly said, "I don't like him that way. Besides, my love life is none of your business." She then walked down the crosswalk.

Well, I just made things even more awkward…

When I tried to cross, I realized that the pedestrian crossing timer was out. I pushed the button and waited for my next turn, hoping Gui Gui hadn't gone too far. After crossing, I looked around for her as I walked.

Where is she?

"Get away from me!" a female voice screamed.

I instinctively ran toward the voice. I found a man with a beer bottle bothering Gui Gui. She swung her backpack at him, but he would not leave.

"Don't touch her!" I yelled, temporarily stopping the drunk.

He pointed at me and said, "You! This is none of your business. Leave!"

I immediately pushed him away from her. The man tried to swing at me with the bottle in his right hand, but I grabbed his wrist with my left. I gripped the bottle with my other hand and kicked him hard in the stomach. The drunk fell on his back and lay there panting, apparently tired from our little confrontation.

"Don't let me find you doing this again," I said and pointed his bottle at him, "or you'll end up like this bottle." I threw it at the ground, making a puddle of glass shards and liquor next to him.

"Okay, okay! I swear!" desperately replied the drunk.

I grabbed Gui Gui's hand and fast-walked away from the scene.

As we walked to her apartment, she barely said anything except to tell me where she lived. When we entered her home, all she said was a "thank you." I couldn't take it any longer.

"Gui, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said with a fake smile. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Don't lie to me."

"Why would I be lying?"

I took a step closer to her and said, "I know you're scared."

She bit her lip and turned to look away.

"Gui, don't keep it inside of you. You are just going to hurt yourself if you do."

She dropped her head and stared at the ground.

"Gui?"

She looked up. I could see tears trailing from her eyes.

"Wang Zi, I…" she said through sniffles and tears.

I hugged her and let her cry into my chest.

"Everything's fine. Don't be afraid. I'm right here."

Over the week, Gui Gui seemed to have still been affected by the incident. She was quiet and in a daze. I thought she would get better with time, but she didn't.

I wasn't used to it.

And I didn't like it at all.