after my check up. the result became worst. the cancer cells were spreading. chemotheraphy is still an option. but it will be atleast 15percent of removing the cells. its been a week since then. tomorrow is the graduation and Ji's going to Vegas. mixed emotions. but im scared. im having the what ifs possibilities again. i am very selfish when it comes to Ji. but i guess, i need to let him go soon

i was literally bored and my phone rings. its omma.

"omma. yeoboseyo"

"ne dorky. we're going back from Los Angeles. were heading at the airport. we miss you"

"ne omma, we miss you too. i need to go. im waiting for cheondung's call"

i ended the call and i obviously lie. 

i wake up at around 5am. Ji still sleeping as i cuddle him. its the day. the day that we will graduate. and the day that i will let him go.

we head at the school at 8am. my makeup is simple. my tears are starting to fall as i stop walking and hug Ji so tight.

"is there something wrong?"

"aniyo. im happy. happiest when im with you."

as the ceremony started, i found cheondung and my mom seated at my back while i found Ji's mom. as Bom speech began:

"i never expected to be a laude. im contented about my life. having Top as the half part of my life served as my inspiration. and most, having Dara as my bff since freshmen. Dorky, you know, and you know all our wish. be happy in every decision that you will make. and Seniors, enjoy !"

and the crowd gave him applause. after the graduation ceremony, we told our parents that we will have a date with Ji. as we go to Bampo Bridge. it's exactly 7pm. the car stopped and we seated at the roof of the car.

"Ji, mian."

"for ?"

"im breaking up with you"

"what the?!! for what reason jagii?"

"dont call me jagii!" as i try raising my voice and act to be rude. " i never loved you! i lied! totally a stupid! i never like you and love you even from the start!" i get my things and runaway as far as i can. i saw and take a cab.

"im sorry ji, i need to do this. you deserve to be happy with someone else."

as i reached my house, i went straight to my bed and called bom

"i broke up with him."

"dorky ya! he's here in Top's place saying farewell. and he even told us that he's stupid for loving and revolving his life to you. honestly dorky we all want to explode and say right straight from him about your situation. poor him."

"i'll bear all the pain corn i deserve it."

"but dorky"

i ended up the call . as i write a new chapter on my diary,

"i broke up with ji. im sorry. but in the end, you will just thank me for breaking up with you. i hope you will be happy with your new life in Vegas. tomorrow will be my first chemo session. i dont want you to see me crying from pain. i wish you success. i love you and im sorry"