(A/N) Italics means the conversation is in English

Your POV

Honestly I wasn’t sure with how to feel at this moment. Proud? Happy? Ecstatic? I guess I feel all of these ways- even possibly experiencing even more of other feelings at this moment. I’m at a loss of words, but I do know one thing. I feel like crying. No, not out of sadness, but out of happiness as I watched my boys perform on stage. I’ve never felt more blissed in my life.

And I could tell that they were giving it their 100% as well by the way they had that serious glint in their eyes. That determined was the exact expression I was looking for whenever they performed and to finally see it in person again… I’m just so blissed. If it was a year ago, I never wouldn’t have imagined myself standing where I am right now.

Surprisingly, I would’ve thought I would still be back in New York working on my makeup skills. I never realized why I was so into make up until TS offered my Secret’s stylist job. It finally dawned on me that I always wanted to make prove to people how great idols can be and makeup is just one minor part in making them look great. Of course makeup isn’t that important for idols, but I’m glad to be part of their success as well. Putting on Secret and B.A.P’s makeup makes me feel so accomplished like I can actually do something. Call me silly and strange, but this is how I feel.

Ever since I quit being a trainee, I felt that I was worthless. What would I do after quitting to train to be an idol? I wasn’t smart or talented. Getting into a recognizable college in Seoul was out of the question too since I spent my time training rather than studying. Looking back on it, I do regret it yet I don’t at the same time. My trainee days have given me so many precious memories and life experiences that sculpted me into who I am today. But I can’t help but to think if I hadn’t become a trainee, would I be something better today? Would I be having my dream job of being a CEO of a corporation? Probably not, sadly.

But if there was something I knew I was actually decent at, it was art. Painting had always been my thing instead of sketching and using wooden drawing utensils. My canvas represented a part of me. Through painting, I was truly able to show what I felt. Whether I was down, preppy, or just homesick, painting was always there for me just sitting in the corner for convenient use. That’s how I got into makeup. I was a natural at using the makeup brush for eyeliner. The face was my canvas and I fully enjoyed being able to make them look extraordinary. Eventually I just became obsessed with makeup since I loved turning already beautiful things more dazzling. I was hooked and that was part of the reason why I escaped to New York for a year before heading back to my wonderful home country.

If I wasn’t a stylist, I wonder what I would’ve been today…

I cheered using the top of my lungs as they finished One Shot and helped the crew get ready for the next set which was Yongguk’s DJ stage. It was chaos backstage. Everyone ran around screaming orders and announcements which other people would immediately follow. The boys were also having a hard time transitioning between the stages also.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Yongguk put on his shade and loosely hang the DJ headphones over his ears. My gaze was stuck on him. Something about him just made me stare at him. Was it the way he looked relaxed when on the inside; I knew he was having butterflies? Or was it how somehow he looked even more charismatic and attractive than when he was in the dressing room? I don’t know what, but I did know that something stirred inside of me when he slowly looked up and locked gazes with me.

Time slowed down. I didn’t dare look away; well I couldn’t actually. It was like I was slowly falling into his inescapable trap as I was being lured in. My gaze softened as well as the rest of my body as I continued to look into those orbs of his. Was it me or did his eyes get a more chocolate shade of brown? It was attractive.

His smirk was what made me realize that I was acting strangely. As on cue, I broke the staring contest and felt my cheeks getting red. Dammit! I wasn’t supposed to act like this. I told myself that I wouldn’t be like this and here I am now! Jung Eunmi, get yourself together. You aren’t supposed to do this!

“Hey kiddo.”

That voice made me jump and made Himchan flinch as well at my sudden movement.

“Ahh… O-Oppa.”

His eyebrows scrunched together as if curious and followed what my line of sight was before he came up. Oh how I wanted to wipe that cocky smirk off his face right now.

“Oohh. So that’s what made you so jumpy.” He snickered, not even bothering to hide his smile. Himchan oppa was honestly the only one that knew what was going on in my head at times which made things even more horrifying and embarrassing on my part.

“Hajima.” I gritted my teeth together and started to walk in the other direction, but I was a fool to think that he would give the topic up.

His presence appeared beside me within seconds as I went to check up with the technological crew again. Himchan appeared absolutely amused and satisfied as he cupped his chin with his hand and leaned on one of the sturdy equipment. “I saw.”

“Ok? So what?” I took a moment to slap his arm, saying he would break the speaker if he continued to lean on it anymore. “I was just checking up on him.”

“More like checking out.”

A scowl formed on my once calm face and roughly shoved him out of my way. The stage was about to happen any second now and this bother wouldn’t stop following me. He just wouldn’t stop and eventually I exploded.

“Oppa! Will you stop?! The next stage is about to start any minute now and you’re here annoying me! I need to make sure everything is alright. Do you WANT your concert to end up in a disaster?!” I raised my voice with each word, pushing him one more time and walked away. Despite that, he still followed me and whispered something under his breath about me being stingy, but thankfully did not pester me any longer.

And that’s how the rest of the concert rolled past. Himchan had finally left my side once he was called and every once in a while one of the members would come and greet me then go whizzing by cause of the tight schedule. But despite that, I had a relatively spectacular time during the concert. I laughed when Himchan grabbed his crotch during one and when he pranced across the stage like a dinosaur creature. And I have to say I was impressed when Zelo and Jongup did their little breakdance/dance battle. My babies are just too precious.

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Fans are practically dying on stage as B.A.P gathered around the stage to bow in thanks one last time, expressing their thanks. All of a sudden, people including some staff and stylist passed by me and onto the stage. Confused at first, I then laughed as I saw them huddle up. They were gonna take a group picture.

“Noona?” I could see Zelo’s head stick up out of the crowd of people; he looked like a giraffe. His gaze then locked onto me and a silly looking grin splattered on his face. “Noona!”

Oh god.

He struggled out of the crowd of people and by the time he did, I was trying to already escape. I had a good idea of what Zelo was thinking of and whenever he had that smile, I knew it wasn’t anything good. But curse my stupid short legs and his gigantic long ones because he caught me wit