This is not a new oneshot. For more information, please refer to THIS BLOG.
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It felt like someone was pressing all their weight against his chest. It ached everywhere. This feeling should’ve stopped by now. He knew there would never be anything between them, and he thought he had made peace with that fact.

Apparently not. He stood in the doorway, frozen, watching the rest of the members laughing and joking with each other. His eyes automatically sought LuHan’s. LuHan gazed at him steadily, and Xiumin could just barely make out the disgust in LuHan's gaze before his eyes turned down towards his feet. Suddenly, he didn’t feel much like being in the dorm. He didn’t want the warm camaraderie that the others gave off.

It didn’t matter that he had shyly confessed his feelings anymore, not since LuHan had told him to keep his distance. He had said rather nastily that he didn’t want to be contaminated by Xiumin’s homouality. Every time LuHan turned and looked at him with that unbearable hatred, Xiumin felt so suffocated. He couldn’t breathe, no matter how hard he tried.

He stepped into the living room, making sure to be quiet. He didn’t want the others to know he was there, because he was in a bad mood and he knew he would make awful company. He didn’t worry about LuHan alerting the other members to his presence. LuHan barely acknowledged him now.

He settled on his bed, and he desperately tried to get his mind off the rising cacophony of voices telling him all about his worthlessness and how he should’ve just stayed in Korea and gone to university like his parents had wanted him to.

He was turned to the wall, so he saw the door open and someone enter the room. He didn’t know who it was, until they’d sat down and patted him on the shoulder. The voice that reassured him and soothed him made him want to cry.

It was always Kris. Kris was always the one who noticed everything wrong with him. Kris had probably seen the exchange between him and LuHan.

    “Things will get better, Baozi,” Xiumin choked back a sob at the nickname that Kris rarely used. He didn’t turn around, preferring to keep his emotions to himself. He said nothing, and Kris moved to a chair beside Xiumin’s bed, specifically for sitting with Xiumin. Kris took Xiumin’s hand, and he sat there in the silence, letting Xiumin know he was there if he ever wanted to talk.

Sometimes, during the times that Kris sat with him, he cried and wondered why it couldn’t have been Kris he fell for. Kris would’ve been so much kinder about rejecting him, he knew. He wouldn’t have felt like Kris never wanted to see him.

But Xiumin's heart wanted the impossible. And that wouldn’t change for a long time, still.
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Til next time, loves. ^o~