This is not a new oneshot. For more information, please refer to THIS BLOG.
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Tao walked into the bar, debating on whether to dance first or to drink. In the end, drinking was more appealing because he hadn’t been in such a great mood lately. He downed shot after shot, feeling the burn in his stomach and reveling in it.

He glimpsed a figure on stage with the live band and gulped when he realized it was Kris. If he had known Kris would be here, he never would’ve come. He was better off not seeing Kris ever again. Coming here had been a mistake.

He should’ve known that as soon as the set finished, Kris would come down to say hi. Kris was a nice person like that. Tao wasn’t. And he wished Kris wasn’t either.

He was too drunk for an encounter with Kris, he realized belatedly. He smiled weakly in response to Kris’s hearty wave. It didn’t matter how hard he tried to tell himself that he hated Kris, because he knew he could never hate Kris.

               “Hey,” Tao turned and clasped his hands in front of him, like he was praying. His knuckles were white from gripping so hard. He saw Kris frown out of the corner of his eye, and he knew it wasn’t fair of him to act that way, but he couldn’t help himself. It hurt just to see Kris.

               “Hey,” he responded tonelessly. Kris took it as an initiative to continue talking. Like they were friends. Tao didn’t have the heart to tell him that they weren’t. That they were so far from being friends that it was laughable.

He only barely paid attention to what Kris was saying. He caught a few words  and phrases like “drinking” and “bad idea” and “try something” and even maybe “no girlfriend”, but he wasn’t entirely sure.  Then, Kris was tugging on his wrist and dragging him backstage.

Tao was only vaguely aware of their surroundings, but his attention was completely refocused when he felt Kris’s hand sliding up his thigh. His eyes widened, and even in his drunken state, he knew he didn’t want this. Kris kissed him before he could say anything, and he melted like ice in Kris’s hands. He reciprocated eagerly before recalling the snatches of conversation earlier.

He shoved Kris away, panting, and looked in his eyes. All he saw was lust, not a hint of love. There was a reddish tinge on Kris's cheeks that suggested he was embarrassed.

“Tell me you’re not going to wake up tomorrow and regret this,” Tao’s eyes filled with tears when he didn’t hear Kris say anything. “Why?! Why can’t you pick me?!” He yelled, and Kris looked at him with pity.

“I have big dreams, Tao,” he said softly. “And I’m sorry, but… they don’t include you.” Tao took a deep, shuddering breath, the tears rolling down his cheeks. He heard Kris sigh. “There’s another reason. Besides the reasons you already know.” Kris tossed a bottle of medicine to Tao and his eyes widened.

He didn’t know what the medicine was, but one word screamed up at him: remission. He looked back up at Kris quickly and held the bottle up.

“You had cancer?” his voice was little more than a whisper. Kris nodded.

“Yeah,” it was silent after that. There was nothing to be said anymore. Tao threw the bottle back to Kris and finally walked away.

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Tao woke up gasping. Of all days to have a nightmare, it just had to be today. He curled himself into a ball, sobbing. His insecurities covered him like a blanket and he decided that love wasn’t worth all the pain he was in. Kris wasn’t worth all the pain.

He cried in the shower, and while he was getting dressed. He even cried in his car. But when he finally arrived at his destination and stepped out of his car, he was dry-eyed. His face was an expressionless mask. He walked up the steps of the church, and into the building. He watched, dry-eyed, as the love of his life married a woman who was more beautiful than he would ever be.

Tao would never be beautiful, and he decided then that he wouldn’t even try to be anymore. He was giving up on ever finding love.

Love didn’t exist for Huang Zitao. Not anymore.
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Well, I hope you enjoyed.

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Til next time, loves. ^o~