ser - en - dip - i - ty

\noun\

: the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for.

: an instance of this.

(source: Merriam-Webster)
 

 

“When strangers meet for the first time… Who knew they’d be together for the rest of their lives?”

 

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June 2003

 

Start of a fresh new school year, and a new phase in my life, which is known as high school.

I’m thirteen and yet I feel like a five-year old again. The first day of school made me nauseous as I step into the classroom, bringing back those memories of separation anxiety during preschool. However, seeing those same bright, smiling faces mature over the years makes everything familiar all of a sudden. As usual, I took a seat at the last row and chatted with the long-time friends that I missed over the summer.

From the numerous anecdotes I heard, I already had the impression that high school teachers were terror and merciless. I took a deep breath to calm myself, but it wasn’t really helpful so I decided to distract myself by fixing my books under my chair, and to pretend copying something from the board.

 

“Excuse me, is this seat taken?”

A calm voice had disrupted the peacefulness of my current state. Startled, I looked up to acknowledge the presence. Likewise, he was unsmiling while he pointed to the chair on my left.

I just shook my head in reply. The most unfriendly gesture I ever did in history.

“Thank you.” He replied, then carefully hung his bag behind the chair and sat there quietly. I resumed whatever I was writing on my notebook. 

 

When I finished jotting down everything, I grew curious about this new kid. It wouldn't hurt to take a glance anyway, so I did, just a very quick glance. To my surprise, he remained in the exact same position as I last saw him. Just sitting there quietly, literally, like a painting on a mural. Well except that this one is breathing. The adviser finally arrived and asked everyone to settle down.

Introductions were always an SOP every first day of school. Through that, I was able to know his name. It is because he never talked, and I am ever so shy, so neither of us had dared to start a conversation.

 

"Hello. My name is AJ Kim. I'm a transferee and so I'm hoping that we'll all be friends." All eyes were upon him. He's in the spotlight.

"Teacher, he has a really good singing voice!" One of his co-transferees announced proudly.

His small eyes rounded in shock as he stood frozen on his spot. "Really? Well we needed an icebreaker." When the teacher turned to him, he just bit his lip nervously. "What would you like to sing for us?" The whole class was eager to hear his singing voice.

He hesitated for a moment then decided to just get on with the dare. "Uhm, then I'll sing 'From A Distance'."

We all waited in anticipation. And the very second he sang the first note was the start of it all..

 

Damn, I think I just saw the gates of heaven open before my eyes; with bright rays of light leading to him. His voice is smooth and calm, just like a prayer that gives you rest from all your anxieties. He's an angel when he sings. Well, I wished he granted us an encore, even just for a bit. Because the moment he finished the song, I was slapped back to reality.

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October 2003 

 

For the whole first semester, we didn’t exactly become friends or rivals either. The situation was worsened by the half-meter aisle separating us. I think he talked more to the wall, which is his other ‘seatmate', than to me. The only time I could actually hear his voice is whenever he was called in front to render a song. Admittedly, he is such an amazing singer. And oh well, thanks to his talents plus uber good looks, he became an instant heartthrob.

The name 'AJ Kim' spread like a virus all over our school. He was envied by the guys in our batch as he is smart, talented, a good athlete, and has exceptional leadership as well as interpersonal skills. On top of it all, he had always been so humble and down-to-earth. Indeed, he is every girl’s ideal guy.  He's practically the perfect guy, well, in our school at least. Girls from different classes and years were totally swooned by his endless charms. All this attention, he never wished for nor intended to get. As for myself, my seatmate and I’s relationship had remained stable – casual and indifferent.

 

"Please exchange papers according to your class numbers." The science teacher ordered after our pop quiz.

Great. Now I have to exchange papers with him. I whispered inside my head.

 

I know I'm neither the smartest nor the in class, I only fall in between those poles. There are times that I tend to slide close to the failing pole just because studying is not really my favorite pasttime. Goodness gracious~ Why now, of all times? It will be really embarrassing because he practically aces every single test, even the pop quizzes. I'm starting to hate how perfect this mighty AJ Kim is.

With a heavy heart, I handed my quiz  booklet to him and exchanged with his. Wow~ Even his handwriting's a lot neater than mine. I just noticed. That totally got me feeling insecure about myself. 

As our science teacher dictated the correct answers, there was nothing I should be troubled of anymore. He got everything correctly. I doubled check of course, but I guess that was only a waste of effort. Seeing his perfect mark made me want to crumple his booklet. Call me mean, but it seemed like it was mocking me! It made me feel so little. It was a blow to my pride.

 

AJ returned my booklet closed, smiling. "Good job. You got a ninety percent."

I restrained myself from rolling my eyes at him and forced my bitter smile to look just as pleasant. "Well congrats, you got a hundred." I then quickly snatched my booklet back and turned my face away from him. 

 

I know I'm being irrational, but I find that insulting. I'm starting to appreciate the presence of that half-meter aisle.

 

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