"Isn't Sunmi coming with us?" I asked, eyeing the sulking teenager to where she was seated on the couch.

Jihyuk scoffed as she bent down and wore her shoes. "Does she look like she's ready to leave? Oh, right. It's not like I've asked her to get ready and dressed for the... I don't know... maybe the last two hours?"

"Well, I would have prepared if it wasn't for you nagging me—"

"Let's just go," Jihyuk said, already heading to the front door.

"Wait." I held her by the arm. "I thought I was meeting your family. Isn't she part of it too?"

Jihyuk rolled her eyes. "You've met her a long time ago."

I looked at her sternly. The staring competition lasted for about two seconds before she sighed in defeat. "Fine. You can come. But only if you walk twenty feet behind us so people wouldn't think we're blood related," she said.

"It's not like I'm proud to be your sister either," Sunmi countered, sticking her tongue out before dashing to her room to get changed. In two minutes, we were good to go. And it was only when we walked out the door that I realized that this was it. I was going to meet her parents.

Jihyuk linked her arm through mine. I hadn't even noticed I was fixing my shirt in place until Jihyuk said, "Don't be nervous. They wouldn't care if your collar is crooked or not."

I faked a hurt expression. "I am definitely not nervous."

"Oh really?" she asked, arching an eyebrow. "Then explain to me what this is." And she held my hand, demonstrating clearly how her palm slid against mine.

I quickly wiped my sweating palms against my pants. "It's just...possible hyperhidrosis. Nothing big, really."

She laughed. "You're cute when you talk smart." And she held my hand again, only to spin herself around like a ballerina.

From behind, Sunmi let out a groan. "This is why I really prefer walking just behind you."

"Hey, what did omma say she was cooking?" Jihyuk asked her sister, ignoring her previous comment.

The younger shrugged. "I don't know. But you know her. It'll be a feast."

"Is she a good cook?" I asked, not wanting to be out of place and to have a little background information.

Jihyuk grinned. "The best ever."

"Back in elementary school, Jihyuk got teased as 'cotton ball' because she was small and chubby and round. Omma cooks really good food and you'll love it." And then Sunmi added, "I bet your mother is a great cook too."

I reached up to scratch my head. "She was."

And Jihyuk turned to look at her sister discreetly, although I could tell she was glaring at her. In the end, Sunmi gasped and muttered, "I'm sorry. I didn't know..."

"It's fine," I said and smiled at her. Truth was, it really is fine. Because like her, I also didn't know. I didn't know that death was real. Or that cancer could kill. I used to think it was just a threat to get me to eat my vegetables. And then it just happened. My father was first. They said it was incurable. Chronic. Deadly. And then I remember seeing my mother welcome the guests calmly. But late at night, when she thinks no one hears, she cries herself to sleep. But the pain didn't last long. A few years after my brother graduated from college, she went to bed the night before and didn't wake up. Old age, they said. Losing one parent was, at best, heartbreaking. But losing both parents — I think the word 'devastating' doesn't even suffice. And there came a point where it just felt so lonely and so sad that it was difficult not to feel anything. And my brother swore he would keep me alive as long as possible. Donghwa doesn't seem to grasp the concept of death and he thinks he could overcome it. It's not like he, or anyone else for that matter, could stop death. I think death can stop a lot of things. It can stop almost everything — time and happiness among others. But not love. No. Death can't stop love. It can only delay it for a little while. And wherever my parents are, I hope they're happy because I pretty much think they're together.

When I first told Jihyuk about this, we were sitting in front of the piano in my room. She had her head on my shoulder as she spoke. "When people you love pass away, they will become ghosts inside your head. And you bring them to life in your memories," she said. "But when I die, I don't want to become anyone's ghost. When you wake up in the morning and see the sun, I will be the warmth. When you eat breakfast, you will remember me at your first bite and think: she would have wanted to eat some of this. When it rains, you will hear thunder and remember me and then think: she would have wanted it to storm and flood. I will be anything. I will be everything. And you will always remember me." And she kissed me softly before standing up to leave.

"We're here," Sunmi exclaimed loudly and clapped her hands excitedly.

Jihyuk snorted. "Spoiled brat." And nervously turning to me, she said, "Whatever they tell you, whatever childhood photo they show you, whatever story you hear, just always remember me as the girl you met at the library and not the girl they'll tell you about otherwise."

I laughed and held her hand. "I'll keep that in mind." But I did not keep that in mind, not when the hustle and bustle of the restaurant Jihyuk's family owned was the first thing that welcomed me. There were people everywhere and they all seemed to be talking — waiters and cooks shouting over orders, customers talking loudly with their mouth full — and I was just... there. The realization of me being as insignificant and as little as everyone else poured down on me like a bucket of ice water. How could anyone feel so alone in a place packed with people?

And then again, maybe not so alone. Jihyuk led me to an empty booth and sat next to me. "Are you okay?" she asked, to which I just nodded. She sighed and leaned back on the seat more comfortably. "This place just brings back so many memories even if Sunmi and I go here every weekends and almost as much as possible." Then I could imagine a smaller, cuter, less harmless, quieter version of her sitting on one of the booths and doing her homework while munching on something. The typical her.

Just when I was trying to picture Jihyuk bringing a different guy here and sitting on the same spot, her parents arrived together with Sunmi who had the biggest smile on her face. I stood up and did my greetings the most courteous and respectful way possible. In the middle of me saying my age, Jihyuk's mother waved me off. "Don't stress yourself too much. We'll talk more later on. Let's eat first," she said and gestured for a waiter to attend to us.

When everything was settled and dinner was served, they started to dig in and I was left to stare at my chopsticks. My brother would have kicked me out of the house for not saying grace before meals, but since I was just a guest... "So what do you do?" Jihyuk's father asked while chewing.

"I'm going to start working next week," I said, waiting for them to ask more questions because it seemed rude to talk and talk.

"He's a doctor," Jihyuk told them. "Passed the licensure exam more than a week ago. He was the fourteenth."

Sunmi alternated glances between me and her sister. "The fourteenth to take the exam?"

Jihyuk stuffed more food in . "The top fourteenth passer, you babo." And this made her parents choke from their food. I quickly poured water into glasses and handed it to them.

Her mother was the first to speak. "Well, aren't you intelligent. Your parents must be very proud of you, then."

I smiled and nodded. "I hope they are."

And Jihyuk cleared , perhaps trying to avoid subjects that she thinks make me uncomfortable. Her mother got the meaning. "I'm sorry," she said and laid her hand on top of mine comfortingly.

Just when I thought the worst was over, her father said, "Do you have any siblings? A brother? A sister, maybe?"

"I have an older brother."

"Ah~ our Jihyuk had always wanted an older brother when she was younger," her mother said all of a sudden.

From beside me, she muttered, "I still do."

"That's good. It's very lonely to live on your own. And what does your hyung do?" her father prodded.

"He's a psychiatrist," I said, hiding my hands under the table and nervously fidgeting.

Her mother rested her chin on top of her folded hands. "And how is he?"

"He's fine," I said.

"Psychiatrists make it big here in Korea, don't they?" her mother commented out of the blue. She and her husband exchanged glances.

I shrugged. "Not really."

"Oh, you're just being modest," the old woman said. "At times like this when poverty is rampant, your education and experience is your only backup. That's why we pushed and pushed our Jihyuk to try managing this restaurant but she doesn't seem to realize how important it is..."

"Because I don't want to, omma," Jihyuk whined. "I want to teach. I love teaching."

"Because I don't want to, omma," Sunmi mocked, and the older crumpled a paper towel in her hand before hurling it towards her sister's face.

As they bantered, their parents only watched them. "They're your children?" Jihyuk's father said.

"Of course they are. I suffered much from these two for more than twenty years. But the question is: are they yours?"

And then they both laughed. The parents laughed as their children laughed and the family on the next table complained about their dinner not being served yet. People around me were happy and talking and laughing and I just wanted to rinse my mouth off of the aftertaste of talking about my brother. I wanted to trade with Jihyuk: my older brother for her younger sister. I'll push Donghwa to be her brother and Sunmi will be my sister so we can skip to the part where everyone was happy.

When the bickering went on a little longer, their father shushed them, and they quickly adjusted in their seats to sit properly. "Is that how you act in front of your guest?" he said with all the authority of a father. We resumed eating in silence, with Jihyuk being her normal, always-hungry, always-eating self and I was being my usual awkward self. After dinner, her parents and Sunmi left the table. I could breathe again.

"I told you it wouldn't be so bad," Jihyuk said, resting her head on my shoulder.

I held her hand under the table. "Had I said all the right things? Have I gone too far at some point?"

"You know Sunmi thinks you’re great, right?" she said. "She's probably talking to them about you. You were too quiet."

And I was about to say something, but Sunmi arrived, her face serious. "They want to talk to you," she told her sister.

My breathing hitched. Was this it? Noticing this, Jihyuk kissed me softly. "Don't worry about it," she said. Sunmi immediately dragged her away to some unknown corner.

***