"Okay wow this is so dumb," Kyungsoo says, facepalming.

Joonmyun growls. "Stay back!" he hollers, waving the water gun in the air. "I have a weapon-"

"...that shoots water," Jongin sighs, walking over and snatching the toy out of Joonmyun's hands. He presses the trigger. Nothing squirts out. There's not even a drop of water in it at all. "Oh my ing god, Joonmyun, you are the most unprofessional criminal in the world! How the hell did the police not arrest you yet?"

Joonmyun scratches his head. "I'm still trying to figure that out myself." He clears his throat, pointing at Kyungsoo. "Do Kyungsoo! Do not escape me and my true love! We shall run away together, flying into the sunset of hopes and dreams and affection for each other! We will live a life of danger and excitement! What do you say, Kyungsoo?" He holds out his hand expectantly.

The wide-eyed boy makes a face. "I say no."

The criminal clears his throat, withdraws his hand and tucks it into his jacket pocket, glaring at Jongin who is grinning smugly and clutching the Black Pearl's case.

"But why not? I can show you the world! Shining, shimmering, splendid!"

Kyungsoo feels this acute sensation of wanting to take the water gun from the floor and knock himself out with it so he won't have to talk to Joonmyun. "Because I don't love you anymore. It's been six years- I've moved on, and you should, too."

The older man's face crumples and he whimpers, "But I-"

"That's enough," Jongdae cuts in, taking one of Joonmyun's arms firmly. "Leave him alone, Joonmyun. You've been pining for six years and it's time you stopped stealing things to get Kyungsoo's attention. Besides, can't you see that he likes Jongin?"

Both Kyungsoo and Jongin cough awkwardly and step ever so slightly away from each other.

"While you were sleeping outside of Sehun's house for four straight days trying to get his attention, I anonymously returned all of the items we stole," Jongdae continues, ignoring his partner's horrified expression. "I'm serious about this, Joonmyun. Enough. We have broken the law one too many times, and therefore, I'm going to turn the both of us in."

"I'm certain that I didn't agree to this particular turn of events!" Joonmyun protests as Jongdae drags him over to the door.

A large headache brewing inside his skull, Kyungsoo holds out a hand to stop them. "Wait wait wait. Don't go to the police, I don't think it's necessary. First of all because Joonmyun doesn't have a motive anymore and Jongdae, you were never really a part of this anyway. You only played along because you like Joonmyun"- Jongdae shoots a hard glare at Kyungsoo who only rolls his eyes- "and you returned all the stuff, so just... don't go to jail."

Jongdae immediately stalks over to Kyungsoo and whispers in his ear, "What was that? Why'd you say it out loud?"

"Why did you tell Joonmyun that I liked Jongin when he was standing right next to me?" Kyungsoo shoots back.

"Because it's true!"

"Yeah, well, then what I told Joonmyun is true, too!"

Jongin coughs. "Uh, guys." The two bickering classmates scowl at each other before turning towards the detective.

"I guess you're right, Kyungsoo. I don't think Joonmyun is competent enough to be even called a thief and Jongdae returned everything anyway so let's just go home. We can go visit Wu Yifan right now to give him the Pearl."

Joonmyun pouts. "I am a thief! An excellent thief! You can't insult me like that and expect me to allow you to leave my office in peace!"

"Actually we are," Jongin announces, and tugs Kyungsoo with him to the front door. Before he twists the knob, the wide-eyed boy leans forward to whisper in Joonmyun's ear, "Jongdae really likes you, by the way," before sending a sly wink in his old classmate's direction. 

"Jongdae."

Said man freezes on his way to his bedroom, the villainous but not really duo being back in their apartment. "Yeah?"

Joonmyun hesitates before asking, "Do you like me?"

Jongdae closes his eyes. Deep breath. Turn around. "Yeah," he replies softly. "I understand if you don't want to be around me anymore, or if you want me to move out. I already packed my stuff just in case."

Joonmyun looks horrified and shakes his head, saying, "No no no, you don't have to do that! I'm not disgusted or anything."

The shorter man blinks, surprised. "Y-you don't hate me?" he asks timidly.

"Of course not! I wouldn't give up our friendship for the world." Joonmyun smiles, albeit a bit warily. "Come on, I'll go help you unpack and put everything back in their rightful spots again."

I wouldn't give up our friendship for the world. Jongdae smiles bitterly. "Thanks."

"Mr Wu-"

"Yifan, please; just Yifan," the tall blond corrects uncomfortably.

"Uh, Yifan, my partner and I managed to recover the Black Pearl," Jongin says in English, smugly challenging Yifan to understand with his eyes. So far, every client they've worked with don't understand the language or the only phrase they know how to say is "I loveu cheejibugger, I lub it!"

Yifan responds in fluent English, "Oh thank you. I really appreciate- Chanyeol, get your lips off my neck."

Jongin gulps. "Wow. So I guess you know how to speak English."

The taller male laughs and says, "I used to live in Canada before I came to Seoul. Chanyeol, seriously, stop," he grumbles, lazily swatting at his boyfriend's face.

The detective frowns, frustrated that he can't show off his English, and holds out the Black Pearl's case. "It's fine, no scratches or anything."

Yifan beams (Jongin cringes because this is probably the first time he has ever seen the giant actually pull his lips into something that doesn't resemble a grimace or a line of indifference) and cradles the case in his huge hands. "Thank you so much!" he exclaims, peeling Chanyeol off his pants. "As I was trying to say before, I really appreciate your determination and hard work in trying to find my family heirloom."

Kyungsoo scratches his head. "We didn't really do anything, one of the thieves just kinda gave it to us."

Yifan's eyebrows knit together. "Oh. Uh." His feet shuffle awkwardly as he shoves Chanyeol away from his belt buckle. "Thanks anyway; now if you'll excuse me, I'm kinda busy at the mo-" Chanyeol's tongue attaches itself to Yifan's long neck and he quickly slams the door shut.

Jongin blinks. "Well that was..."

"Disturbing," Kyungsoo supplies. He shudders and places both hands on his partner's shoulders, steering him in the direction of their waiting cab. "Okay let's go home now."

"Is what Jongdae said true?"

Kyungsoo gulps nervously and asks, "What?"

Jongin traces a pattern on their wooden kitchen table. "That you like me."

"Of course I like you! You're my work partner and-"

"Do Kyungsoo," Jongin interrupts, dead serious. "Do you-"

Panicking, Kyungsoo covers his ears and screeches, "CARELESS, CARELESS."

"-like-"

"SHOOT ANONYMOUS, ANONYMOUS."

"-me?"

"HEARTLESS, MINDLESS. NO ONE WHO CARE ABOUT ME," Kyungsoo howls as he covers Jongin's mouth.

...with his own lips.

Damn.

A/N: lmao 

ok