"Please, Sehun?"

The rainbow-haired boy rolls his eyes and stomps his foot childishly. "No! I don't like Jongin!"

Joonmyun resists the urge to whack Sehun's manhood with his cane. "But when they come to retrieve the Pearl, you have to distract Jongin while I steal Kyungsoo away!"

"How many times do I have to tell you, hyung," Sehun huffs. "I'm dating Zitao, and Jongin doesn't like me anymore. Mostly because Zitao and I did some, uh, stuff on his bed while we were in college and peed in his favorite top hat. Jongin actually likes Kyu- nevermind," Sehun finishes hastily.

Joonmyun narrows his eyes. "Who does Jongin like?"

"No one!" Sehun shrieks. "He is absolutely not helplessly in love with Kyungsoo, nope nope nope."

"Good," Joonmyun mutters, eyes still in slits.

From the corner of the room, an observant and silent Jongdae bites his lip nervously. Jongin likes Kyungsoo? This could be a problem.

Jongin stares down at the typed letter in his hands and scowls. 

    Kyungsoo, you should call me sometime! 555-0196 

Stupid Joonmyun, trying to win my Kyungsoo's heart.... wait, MY Kyungsoo? No no no, shut up Kim Jongin.

His eyes flit down to the bottom of the paper where the address is. Jongin's palm smacks his forehead.

"Kyungsoo, come over here!" he screams. The shorter man runs over.

"Why didn't you tell me where Joonmyun lives?" Jongin demands.

"I said I was sorry, okay? He's a nice guy and I wanted to protect him-"

"Joonmyun. Lives. On our. Street. His office is literally right next to ouroffice. He is our next door neighbor. Joonmyun, world renowned criminal, lived next to Korea's greatest detective for five years and YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!?!"

Kyungsoo shrinks under Jongin's fiery murderous gaze. "I-"

"AAAUGHH, FORGET IT," Jongin yells, marching over to Joonmyun's front door and banging heavily on the white wood.

It slowly creaks open and a young man's face peers out.

"Jongdae?" Kyungsoo asks.

The man nods and hesitantly steps outside. "Hi Kyungsoo."

"You guys know each other?" Jongin questions. He narrows his eyes. "Wait, let me guess, you guys went to high school together."

"Yeah."

"How come everyone went to the same school but I didn't? What the hell?" Jongin whines.

Kyungsoo shrugs and turns to his old friend. "What're you doing in Joonmyun's office?"

"I'm his assisstant and roommate. Joonmyun went out a while ago to chase after Oh Sehun." Jongdae studies Jongin's face and is surpised that there are no longing looks at the mention of the brat's name. 

"Oh Sehun? Jongin, don't you like that kid?" Kyungsoo pokes the younger's shoulder.

"No..." Jongin answers, furrowing his brow. "That was eons ago. Besides, he already has a boyfriend; Zitao, the scary wushu panda who will whoop your and rip off your epidermis while inflicting bruises all over your body simultaneously." He shudders. "No, I do not like Sehun."

Hope tugs the ends of Kyungsoo's lips upward. "Oh! Okay."

Jongdae watches, worry piling up inside him. So Kyungsoo likes Jongin...

"Anyway, someone needs to arrest Joonmyun," the detective grumbles. "Sending Kyungsoo creepy letters and personal information like this, it should be illegal." He shoots an overprotective glare at Kyungsoo and that's when all the puzzle pieces fall in place for Jongdae.

I like Joonmyun. Joonmyun likes Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo and Jongin love each other. And they both don't know it.

"Hey guys, let's have a talk," he announces tightly, dragging the duo into the office.

"Please, Sehun, all you have to do is act like you're in love with Jongin!" Joonmyun complains. 

"And all you have to do is leave me and Tao Tao alone, we're busy and Jongin doesn't like me anymore!" Sehun bites out. Zitao grips a wushu stick tightly in his hand and Joonmyun has a sinking feeling it's going to be used on him very soon if he doesn't go the away so he leaves quickly.

Sehun sighs happily and curls up next to Zitao. "Should I go and tell him that Jongin likes Kyungsoo?" he wonders out loud, his boyfriend's cheek.

Zitao shrugs and drags his tongue lazily up Sehun's neck. "Nah."

"Okay, we don't have a lot of time before Joonmyun comes back," Jongdae worries, tucking his cellphone into his pocket.

"Time for what?" Jongin questions.

The other man hesitates. "Uh, to be honest, I was never fit for a life of crime. I hate that Joonmyun knocks people out and carries a gun and steals treasured belongings. The only reason I'm his partner is because I love him," he says, blushing.

Jongdae continues. "Joonmyun only stole the Black Pearl because he's still hung up over Kyungsoo and wanted attention. Jongin, Joonmyun thinks you still like Sehun so he was going to use him to distract you while he leaves the city with Kyungsoo."

"I don't like Joonmyun," Kyungsoo says defiantly. "And if he was going to leave Seoul with me, then what was going to happen to you? You're his partner, right?"

Jongdae shrugs, smiling sadly. "Joonmyun doesn't know about my feelings, and... he probably wasn't planning to do anything, maybe leave me here while he escapes with you. Joonmyun wants to sell the Pearl for a large sum of money and the both of you are going to live off of it for two years while he finds work."

"This whole entire thing is ridiculous," Jongin interjects. "I'm sure he knows by now that Kyungsoo just wants to be friends, and where is Joonmyun going to take him anyway? He's wanted in three continents and it's not like his work will be stable since he steals for a living."

"Jongin," Kyungsoo says calmly. "Stop speaking in English. We can only understand half of what you're saying and you're not Sherlock okay."

The detective sulks and slumps in his chair. "Well excuuuuuuse me for trying to get into character."

"Guys!" Jongdae shouts. "Focus! Anyway, I know where the Black Pearl is kept and I can give it to you so it'll be returned to its rightful owner. After that, I'll resign from my position as partner in crime and move away from Joonmyun." He pauses and stares down at the floor. "And... I'll turn him in," Jongdae whispers.

Kyungsoo pats his old classmate sympathetically on the back as Jongdae walks over to Joonmyun's desk and uses a key to unlock the top drawer. Inside, the Black Pearl (as big as a golf ball and so dark it looks like it's made of night sky) rests comfortably on a cushion in a glass box. 

Jongdae stretches out his arm to hand the Pearl to Jongin but a voice from the door snarls, "Not so fast!"

The three turn to see Joonmyun standing ten feet away from them, holding up a gun. 

Kyungsoo furrows his eyebrows. "Is he...?"

Joonmyun is holding up a water gun, obvious from the bright red stopper at the front.

Oh. Okay.

Jongin rolls his eyes.

A/N: ahahahaha 

okay yeah i am really sorry because i

bye