I went to school the next week with my feelings still in a jumbled mess. I had no idea on whom was I supposed to lean to for comfort and consolation; both Yixing and Hyunji had their own problems to settle (he still chased her; she still slipped away from him). In the end, I settled on isolating myself for the day. Classes passed by in a blur with tons of homework being shoved into our work pile, and I was able to take advantage of that as an excuse as I skipped lunch and slipped into the library.

The entire portion of my morning was spent uneventfully, with boring classes and very little intervention by Hyunji, who was also absorbed with her own thoughts. I didn’t see Yixing at all as I stayed at the library, much less Joonmyun or Jongin. I was thankful for the quiet sanctuary that greeted me, the assurance that I would be able to drown myself in my work in peace. Nobody knew I was here; I could be alone.

Instead of doing my homework though, I spent a good portion of my solitude wallowing in my thoughts, thinking of my date with Jongin yesterday and how Joonmyun had once again played my knight when he saved me. I didn’t know if I should hate him for it, or fall for him even more –though I was pretty sure that my feelings were a mixture of the two. I hated him for making fall for him when it was so obvious that I had no chance with him.

A thought struck me and I sat up straight. My charming pen pal, my dear confidant who has been ever so patient with me these past few months might be able to provide an answer. He consulted me when he experienced his dilemmas; I was sure that he would be wholly glad to help me with mine. Perhaps he could throw some light as to how to organise my feelings, whether they were worth keeping or better off being let go.

With renewed vigour, I scrambled for my notebook and tore off a page. Shoving all my books aside, I picked up my favourite pen and began to write, relishing the overwhelming emotions that flowed down from my fingers to the tip of my pen before being permanently inscribed on the paper. My heart lightened with every word I wrote, a small smile carving itself onto my face as I pictured his reply: the abundance of emoticons and the sweet words that marked his sincerity. I could count on him to be honest, to help.

I leaned back when I was done, heaving a heavy sigh. I picked up the paper and read its contents, brows furrowed:

Dear You,

Hi again. Look, remember that last letter I sent you? About you playing cupid and how fun it might be?

Yeah, I need your help this time. Since the start of the year, there’s a boy that I’ve liked. I don’t know much about feelings and all, but I’m pretty sure that what had once been crush could have possibly blossomed into love. But here’s the thing though: I don’t think he likes me back, at least, not as how I like him. We’re friends and all, but I don’t think that any attachment he might harbour for me stemmed from any feelings besides the platonic. He pretty much admitted it when he openly encouraged me to go out with another guy.

Now, I’m pretty much sure that I’m chasing castles on clouds where he’s concerned. But... I don’t know... I just don’t know if I should let him go that easily. It’s stupid, but I guess I’m holding on to the hope that maybe... just maybe ...he might one day like me back.

Could you just... tell me what to do?

From,

Me

PS: I’d love you forever if you could just help me sort everything out.

I folded the paper neatly and tucked it into one of the envelopes I had gotten into habit of carrying. I sealed it with glue this time instead of just tucking the flap in, determined that I wouldn’t reread the letter again and reconsider seeking advice from him. I needed someone to talk to, and as far as I was concerned, I didn’t need to add another burden to the minds of the obviously engaged Yixing and Hyunji.

I was just tucking it into the pocket of my blazer, wondering if I could run along to our secret mail box before the bell rang when someone tapped my shoulder. I turned and met the gaze of the blonde-haired boy behind me, pushing up a pair a wide-rimmed glasses perched on his nose as he gazed down at me.

“Sunbae, Mr Jung has requested for assistance. He wants you to get some stuff and send it to him in the teacher’s lounge.” He shoved a small piece of paper into my hands before turning on his heels and leaving.

I stared down at it, frowning, and tried to call him back. He paid no heed to my voice, walking in fast and easy strides and making a quick reach for the door. I stared at his tall figure, confused, before I gathered my stuff as I slowly read the list.

The writing was neat and legible, characteristic to that of Mr Jung’s. I couldn’t help but notice that this was a very strange request. Why would he specifically ask me to run errands when he could have easily gotten the boy to do it for him? After all, it couldn’t be much of a difference.

I shrugged and picked up my books, deciding that it was a request that I needed to fulfil anyway, regardless of the strange nature of it. I’d already made my way into his book when I was late for school that day and got into trouble with Choi Minhee. I didn’t need anything else marring my record.

I managed to stop by my locker to deposit my books and my letter.  Then, I fished the note out of my pocket and reread the instructions again. Mr Jung had requested for me to collect several miscellanies from the utilities closet –to be delivered to him immediately. Ignoring the nagging feeling in my stomach, I began to search for the room number. After passing through several deserted hallways and countless empty classrooms, I finally found my destination.

The plaque that plastered onto the door spelt out the name and number of the utilities closet that I had been looking for, so, after tucking the note securely in my pocket, I turned the knob and pushed it open.

I was stunned when my first step into the room was greeted by a mysterious waterfall that rained heavily onto my head, soaking my clothes and drenching my hair. I staggered back, barely able to process the information before something metal clanged onto the space right next to me.

I stared at the bucket in disbelief, cursing myself for being a fool, for falling for the oldest trick in the book. Why did I have to be so gullible?

“It’s a bit too early to take a swim, don’t you think?” the voice I hated from the deepest core of my heart said from behind me.

“What. The. Hell. Choi. Minhee?!” I shrieked at her, whirling around furiously.

She merely smirked. “Clever idea, don’t you think? Although it did need a lot of work. You look lovely by the way, darling.”

I tried to focus on breathing, to keep myself from pouncing at her with a battle cry and digging my nails into her arm. My eyes were itchy and I was pretty sure that they were red.

“What is your problem?” I seethed, my fingers trembling from my effort to keep calm. “I’ve kept the hell away from your path for these past few weeks and I haven’t done anything to your stuff. Heck, I don’t even like to touch anything that has been in contact with those claws of yours! So, what,” I kicked the bucket that had rolled right next to my feet ferociously, “do I have that gives you the need to have revenge on me?”

Her smile drooped, turning into a venomous snarl. “Because I hate you, Go Aeri.”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course. And I love you,” I said sarcastically.

She ignored me. “You prance around like you’re the best thing in the world; you cling onto the basketball team when they’re obviously way out of your league.” She stepped closer to me, so close that her face was just inches from mine. “But most of all, I hate the fact that you always make the school’s best looking boys surround you just so you can pretend that you’re better than everyone else."

I bit my lip to contain my anger, trying to keep the tight chain that I had secured on the beast in me from snapping. I knew that she was deliberately testing my patience, waiting for me to attack her so that she could frame me for everything while she staged the role of the victim. I took a deep breath and said, “First of all, I don’t prance. Secondly, most of the members of the basketball team are my friends –Zhang Yixing is my friend. Of course the boys on the team and I knew each other by mutual acquaintance. And finally,” I tried to project as much hatred as I could in my glare, “I don’t pretend that I’m better than anyone else because I never was.”

“You expect me to believe anything you say?” Minhee said, her voice high-pitched, patronising. “It’s not enough that you already have Joonmyun to yourself, now you’re greedy enough to want Jongin too?”

I stared at her in disbelief. “What?”

“I saw you with Jongin at the roller rink,” she said with a frustrated air, as if I was a mentally challenged child. “You two made me want to puke, honestly.”

I tried to school my expression into one of passive indifference. “It’s up me to who I want to hang out with.”

“It’s as if you’re advertising yourself as a blatant harlot. You claim that you like Kim Joonmyun, but you go behind his back and date his cousin instead. Do you think he’s even going to like you back after you do that?”

The use of such a profane word and her twisted conclusion made one of the strings snap. I stepped closer to her, eyes blazing. “For you information, Joonmyun knows. He was there when Jongin asked me and he knew where we went. I know it is useless trying to drum this into your apparently empty cranium, but don’t jump into conclusions when you don’t even know what’s going on.”

She smirked. “And don’t step into the lion’s den if you don’t know what’s going to come at you.”

It was only then that I saw the thin piece of string that she was holding in between her fingers. As fast as a snake, she ducked out of my reach and pulled it, letting a cloud of white powder rain down onto my already sorry state. The water that the first bucket had soaked me with made the flour cling onto my body, settling onto my hair and clothes and forming a thin white crust on my skin. I flailed blindly to try and reach her, but I heard her cackle before she slammed the door closed.

I banged my fist on the door, screaming her name and demanding to be let out. I was greeted by nothing but an eerie silence; she had already left, leaving me confined inside this hot and stuffy room with nothing but mops for company. I fumbled in my pocket for my phone, but realised at the last minute that I had left it in my locker.

I groaned and banged on the door again, screaming for help this time. I knew that this hallway was one of the few secluded ones that had no class or no nearby toilets; I was going to be stuck in here for a while.  Slumping onto the wall, I decided to save my energy and pray that someone would find me.