Review for Writer Who Lost His Purpose - pipihb

*Story Title: 4.5/5

I really love the title! It is not only unique to the eye, it is unique to hear as well. The use of words couldn't be better and just having one of the main characters as a writer is original as well. I immediately thought of Junhyung because of the Fiction music video. The title is clever and well thought out and the character choice is good as well for the plot. If you used "Fiction" as the title, it would probably have one point down. I also suppose that you based this on the song?

Poster and Backround Appearance:  4/10

I wish that you would find a real poster and backround from an actual shop to fit the story a little better. It is a little unappealing to just stick a photo of a character as the backround and poster. Although the picture you used to use as the main image is alright because it describes the story, I would suggest that you get a poster from an actual shop.

*Neatness: 5/5

The story itself is quite tidy and neat in appearance. An easy score to get.

*Story Description: 7/10

The description itself is quite good. It amazes me and just dives me into the story. However, grammatical errors are able to be seen. You have to remember that the description and foreword are the person's first impression.

" Yong Junhyung, the famous rapper from Boyfriend-Idol Group - B2ST. Married at  young age and soon to be dad  BUT, his marriage statuswere kept from  public. Only Beast and the President knows it. Despite for his work as an idol, he had to do all the 'intimate' doings for his carrier; it was getting on his wife nerve. It just happened to fast, they fought because Junhyung got caught on cheating and  she's gone."

" Yong Junhyung, the famous rapper from Boyfriend - Idol Group - B2ST. Married at a young age and soon to be dad, but his marriage status was kept from the public. Only Beast and the president know about it. Despite for his work as an idol, he has to do all the 'intimate' doings for his carrier; it was getting on his wife's nerves. It just happened too fast. They fought because Junhyung got caught cheating and now,she's gone."

In the second paragraph, I love how you bolded some words to create impact and excitement.

"At first, his intentions were only to cure his bleeding, regretful heart and soon... he was drowning in his own fiction world."

"At first, his intentions were only to cure his bleeding, regretful heart and soon... he was drowning in his own fictional world."

I also liked how you gave credits. Not many people do that. I also like how you took time to describe your female lead.

Teaser/Foreword: 9/10

I absolutely loved the foreword! Your choice of words were so real like an actual writer would. It is nice to look at and read at the same time. It has amazing depth and just pulls me into the story.

Chapter Titles: 5/5

They aren't really titles, but they gave deep meanings despite just writing out the chapter number. Just a small period at the end of those numbers just creates a deeper meaning. Even the last chapter just notifies completion but yet has great meaning.

*Plot: 27/30

The scenes are absolutely amazing and well thought out. The scenes are creative and original with great words and descriptions, along with adding in imagery. Everything is pleasant and beautiful. You are good at conveying emotions. I felt pain and happiness both at the same time. Your sense of writing is absolutely stunning and beautiful.

*Originality: 8/10

It is original when contrasting it along with other stories that are based on the song Fiction, however, it is also original for stories overall. I've never read something like this.

*Spelling: 10/10

I didn't spot any other errors, but grammar is a problem as well.

*Grammar: 4/10

There are a lot of grammatical errors throughout the whole thing, but it is fine since almost all are common. I'll show you the first three grammatical errors in the story other than the forewords.

Error number 1:

" Oppa, you’re home?” I sit up straight, just to get a better look of my beautiful wife’s face."

" Oppa, you’re home?” I sat up straight, just to get a better look at my beautiful wife’s face."

Error number 2:

" Eunnim kissed my cheek sweetly, her lips just drives me crazy."

" Eunmin kissed my cheek sweetly. Her lips just drove me crazy."

Error number 3:

"I never knew Doojoon oppa love his little sister too much even though he was against our relationship at first"

"I never knew Doojoon Oppa loves his little sister so much. Even though he was against our relationship at first"

*Flow: 10/10

Everything fit into place. Nothing was too fast nor too slow and was absolutely beautiful.

*Writing Style: 10/10

Your descriptions are marvelous, but the dialogue in your story is better. You have nice sources of literary technique and you don't overdo the dialogue. You have a good sense of imagery and foreshadowing. You are also good at writing out emotions with the way you describe things. I love the way you write, but you need to change some of  your bad writing habits like run-on sentences and problems with grammar.

Ending: 10/10

I loved the ending. It was hard to expect, but it was a pleasant kind of surprise. You are very good at sentencing completion. Although it wasn't reall realistic, this story is based on the song Fiction so it's okay. You made we want for a sequel which isn't a good or bad thing. It was absolutely amazing and I'd like to see more work from you.

*Overall Enjoyment: 5/5

I absolutely love the whole story. Might be my favorite or one of my top favorites! I absolutely love the song and the story both at the same time. I would recommend this to people who love B2ST and the song Fiction, along with good stories. This is definitely one good story.

Bonus: 5/5

It must be hard to portray a writer in your story. A writer writing about another writer writing a story. It's a little confusing to write like that, but you are a good author.

*Total: 123.5/140  

             88.21%

- Done by KoreanBiased

actually, the marks doesn't matter to me. The reviews are ^^