Han Seryeong’s P.O.V

“Seryeong-ah… Actually… I… I’m going to tell you something… I…”

                I waited for the guy to continue what he’s going to say. I feel so excited. Butterflies started to flutter in my stomach. The autumn breeze blew, giving off a lonely atmosphere. But this won’t dampen the mood I think. This is the moment that I’m waiting for… He’ll…

“Hey~! Let’s go! We’ll be late in our class. Don’t be such a turtle. Ppali!” Someone called him.

“Oh… I’ll tell you next time Seryeong-ah. See you around.” He smiled and went away.

I thought that he’ll tell the words that I’m waiting to hear from him. I picked up my stuff and hung my bag lazily on my shoulder.

“Ryeong-ah...” Kyuhyun oppa called, not tearing his gaze away from the book that he’s reading.

Kyuhyun oppa calls me ‘Ryeong’. He’s the only who calls me Ryeong.

“Waeyo oppa?”

“Snap out of it. It doesn’t have to be him Ryeong-ah… Not him…” He shifts his sight to me, looking at me seriously with full concern.

                Those words confused me. Why would Kyuhyun oppa give me such kind of warning?

♥ 슈퍼주니어 ♥

                I was seating on a bench. My mind wandered aimlessly at the background of children’s laughter and squeals. I snapped out of my thoughts when someone sat beside me. He didn’t utter a word/ He just sat beside me. The two of us admired the scene: children playing, hopping, running and laughing as Donghae oppa chase them. The funny thing is… Donghae oppa runs around wearing a ‘Pororo’ costume.

“Donghae really loves to play with the kids.” Jongwoon oppa spoke; maybe he can’t stand the silence between us.

“He really does. After all, they’re his kids.” I answered.

“Here, drink these.” He gave me a can of soda.

                I just stared at the can of soda held by his small hands. His hands are so cute. I didn’t notice that he wore a ring these past few months. I just noticed it only today. That’s weird, why do I have a feeling that he wore it all the time. What am I thinking??

“Oh… I forgot… You can only drink milk and fruit juices. Well, water is an exemption.” He chuckled and smiled shyly.

                Silence consumed us again. We just continued watching the kids and Donghae oppa. I felt awkward. Then Ryeowook oppa joined us. I felt more uncomfortable. I don’t know why I suddenly felt my stomach is turning upside-down, as if it does cartwheels inside me. What am I thinking?! It’s just me, sitting between Ryeowook oppa and Jongwoon oppa. The atmosphere got heavier… it’s sort of suffocating… I kept my gaze on my lap as I started fiddling my fingers. Then little hands held mine…

“Noona~ Seryeong noona… Please play with Jungsu…” Jungsu smiled, showing his cute dimple, eyes sparkling.

                I smiled and let the boy sit on my lap.

“Oh. He can talk now? That’s good.” Ryeowook oppa said, smiling at Jungsu. “Annyeong Teukie-ah~”

“Noona~ let’s go… Jungsu doesn’t want to stay here…”

“I’m sorry oppa but Jungsu is still adjusting. He doesn’t trust other people yet.”

“Gwaenchanha. At least he’s improving.” Ryeowook smiled reassuringly.

                Jungsu stood up and tried to drag me away from them. I finally stood up and held the child’s little hand.

“Seryeong-ah, don’t forget that there’s a party at Donghee’s bakeshop tonight.” Jongwoon oppa reminded me.

“Arasseo~”

                I was still occupied by the awkward feeling I felt earlier. Thoughts came rushing back to bother my mind. It’s as if I’m playing unconsciously with the child. Jungsu runs around, holding a paper plane. He kept on smiling at me and laughed heartily. He’s such a cute kid after all. I’ve been here for almost half a year and I can say that he really improved a lot. He started speaking and talking to others little by little. But he always wore that expressionless face when men approach him. Maybe he was reminded about his father. He’ll know the truth soon. He’ll get better. And I should get a grip of myself. Then, something landed on my head. It hurts!

“Noona! Are you okay?” Jungsu ran towards me.

                I saw something shining on the grass. I bent down and figured out that it was a ring. I picked it up. I wonder who threw that ring… Kids won’t wear a ring… I looked around. Children still running around, Ryeowook oppa’s retreating form and Jongwoon oppa left alone still seated on the bench. Things started to really mess up on my mind.

♥ 슈퍼주니어 ♥

                 It’s past eight in the evening and I tried to walk as quiet as I can towards the clinic. I don’t want to wake the children up. I got my bag and my coat. I passed by the main office where Yeonhee stays. I saw her sorting some mails. I waved goodbye and got out of the orphanage.

“Ya! Walk faster Seryeong-ah!”

“Oh? Donghae oppa, I thought you’ll join us tonight.”

He chuckled, “I just made a quick visit there at the bakeshop. I can’t leave Yeonhee alone there. Hurry up! The others are waiting.”

                I still walked on normal pace. I arrived at the bakeshop and saw Ryeowook oppa standing in front of the door.

“Ryeowook oppa, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be inside?”

He smiled, “I just came here not too long ago.”

I find something odd with his smile but I chose to ignore it, “Come, let’s go inside together.”

                As we got inside, I gave them a questioning look. I thought they’re having a welcome party for me… they just sat still, each of them holding a mug of hot chocolate. Ryeowook sat beside Donghee oppa. Jongwoon smiled and patted the empty space next to him. I sat beside him.

“What took you so long Ryeong-ah?” Kyuhyun oppa asked.

“Jungsu won’t sleep right away. I had a hard time making him go to sleep.” I grabbed Kyuhyun oppa’s mug and drank from it. “What’s with the hot chocolate? Is this really a party?”

“You’re too attached to Teukie. That kid really clings onto you like a koala. He goes everywhere you go. I might even think that you are his biological mother. Just kidding noona.” Henry said.

“You can’t tolerate alcohol so Kyuhyunie suggested that we’ll not have any alcoholic beverages so you won’t be out of place.” Sungmin oppa answered.

“Jeongmal?”

He ran his hand through his hair and looked away, “Well… Uhmmm… I just thought that it’s fair.”

I stood up and hugged him from behind, “Gomawo my dear twin bro~”

“C-C-C-Cut it out! You’re embarrassing me…”

I laughed and hugged him tighter, “You’re too concerned that you didn’t thought that I can drive home for all of you when you guys passed out.”

“W-W-Whatever…” I know… Kyuhyun oppa just rolled his eyes.

“Donghee oppa, let them have beer. Don’t worry, it’s my treat.”

“Idiot.” Kyuhyun oppa muttered.

                Then Donghee oppa brought beer. Sungmin oppa is singing out his heart while drinking his beer. His face is as red as tomatoes. He looked cuter. Then Kyuhyun oppa just stared lovingly at his lover. AIgoo~ goosebumps!!! Then I looked at Ryeowook oppa, he just sat still. He already drank five glasses of beer. I wonder why he is staring at his right hand. It seems like something’s missing from his hand and he looked angry and hurt.

“Seryeong-ah~ sing us a song please? I heard from GameKyu that you can sing well.” Sungmin oppa said and he pouted when he saw his glass empty.

“Huh?! I can’t sing.” I denied.

“Liar. BabyKyu recorded an audio of you singing with him. The song was ‘Inhyeong’ right? Hey! BunnyKyu! Answer me…”

                Sungmin oppa’s really drunk. He calls Kyuhyun oppa with different nicknames? Haha. That’s kind of sweet~ I sighed and stood up.

“Seryeong-ah, stand in the middle.” Donghee oppa said and gave me spoon, “Just think that it’s the mic.”

                I stood at the middle. Everyone got quiet. I took a deep breath and…

“♫♪ saranghae saranghae saranghae cheon beoneul marhaedo mojara…♫♪”

                I love you, I love you, I love you… Even if I say it a thousand times, it’s not enough. I looked at Jongwoon oppa and continued singing…

“♫♪ barago barago baramyeon eonjenkan niga nae mam arajulkka… ♫♪”

                If I hope, hope and hope… will you know how I feel someday?

“♫♪ ojing neobakke moreuneun geureon naya neomaneul saranghae jul saram baro naya neol mannan sesanginaegen gijeok gateun ilira keureon geoya ojing neomaneul wonhaneun geureon naya neomaneul jikyeo jul saramdo baro naya nigyeote neoman paraboneun
keuge naya miryeonhan naya… ♫♪”
                It’s me who only knows you – the person who will only love you is me. It’s because meeting you was like a miracle to me. It’s me who only wants you – the person who will only protect you is me. It’s me who is only looking at you by your side, a fool…

“♫♪ nae maeumi marhajanha neoppunirago marhajanha… ♫♪”

                My heart is speaking, it’s saying that it’s only you. Am I making a confession now? What the… What am I doing?!

“♫♪ neoreul neoman saranghaneun ireon naya ike naya…♫♪”

                I love you, I love alone, and that’s me.

“♫♪ ojing negeman deullyeo jul sarangyaegi han sarammaneul saranghaetdan geureon yaegi honjaman ganjikhae amudo moreuneun sarangi baro naya…♫♪”

                This love story is only for you to hear. A story about how I loved only one person. Keep it for yourself – this love that no one knows about, it’s me…

“♫♪ ojing neol wiihae bureuneun sarangnorae ojing naegeman teullineun geureon norae neul gyeote negeman deullyeo jul sarang norae bureuneun naya…♫♪”

                I’m singing this love song only for you. A song that can be heard only by you… It’s me who will always sing you this loves song… only for you… I suddenly remembered the ring that I found this afternoon. I saw a ring that looks exactly the same. I just can’t remember when or maybe my mind is full of random thought that’s why I can’t tell right away. I really saw it…

“Ya Kim Jongwoon! You’re next!” Someone yelled. I didn’t bother to know who that person is because I’m busy thinking.

                Jongwoon oppa stood up. A silver thing shone in his small hands as he extended his hand to get the spoon slash mic from me. There… I saw it… I’m right. The two rings are same, but who owns the ring that I found? Am I an airhead for me not to know things around me?! Am I that oblivious?! This isn’t fair. Why am I having a hard time fitting the puzzle pieces that were laid in front of me? I tried to process every bit of information but I’m close to failure. I sigh in defeat and went back to my seat.

♥ 슈퍼주니어 ♥

It’s been three days that Seryeong chose to lock herself in her room. She got the spare keys form the cupboard. She turned off her phone and threw the poor battery on her trash bin. Sungmin and Ryeowook took turns; the two always bring her food upstairs, good thing she doesn’t want to starve. Every time Kyuhyun comes back from work, he’ll frantically knock on her door, asking her to come out. She’s not doing anything crazy inside her room. She just spent endless hours of thinking, sitting, tossing and rolling on her bed. She thought that staring at the ceiling will be more helpful than taking a stroll outside or at a park. She didn’t even remember that Jungsu would be crying if she doesn’t show up in the orphanage. There are three things that she’s been thinking about so hard. First, if she’ll finalize the adoption papers and surprise Jungsu, Second, if she’ll go back to Japan if the kid rejects her and lastly, about the ring that she found not so long ago. She still kept on racking her brains to sort things out.

♥ 슈퍼주니어 ♥

Seryeong woke up in the middle of the night. felt so dry so she stood up and quietly went downstairs to get herself a glass of water. She was surprised to see the lights tuned on in the kitchen. Who would stay in the kitchen at this hour, she thought. As she walked closer to the kitchen, she heard familiar voices that sounded like they’re in an argument. She chose not to interrupt them and just kept herself hidden. Realizing that it’s bad to eavesdrop, she to her heels but something was holding her back. She stayed and tried not to make even the slightest noise she can.

“You are not helping her Jongwoon hyung! Seriously… Stop acting like an idiot and get your act together!”

“Ryeowook-ah… Lower your voice. You might wake them up.”

                Why is Jongwoon still here, she thought.

“I would love to wake them up and I’ll gladly tell Seryeong all about this.” The younger retorted.

“Wookie-ah…”

“It’s been five years hyung and you still haven’t gather all the courage you need?! Hyung, you are not dumping her. You are not rejecting her. Do you think you wouldn’t hurt her deeper if you just kept your mouth shut?!”

“Wookie…”

“Will you stop cutting my sentences and lend me your ears for few damn minutes Kim Jongwoon?!”

                Ryeowook glared at the elder male as they stood in face-to-face. Jongwoon tried to hold his hand but the younger took few steps backward.

“You’re unbelievable hyung… How can you do this to her?! She’s your cousin’s best friend… My best friend… Our maknae’s fraternal twin sister… Also a close friend of yours… It’s unfair for her hyung. I feel guilty towards her. Well], honestly, not only to her. I am guilty that were hiding the fact that we’re in a relationship hyung. This is not right hyung.”

“Wookie-ah, hey~”

“Hyung… Uri… Geumanhaja.”

“Ryeowook-ah… No… I…”

“Uri heeojija…”

                Jongwoon grabbed Ryeowook’s arm and pulled him closer. He enveloped the younger one in his arms tightly and kissed his forehead.

                At last, that’s the piece she needed to solve the puzzle. It all fits. She stood up and began pacing back and forth in her room. She felt so angry… angry for being stupid and dense. But she’s not the only one who acted so dense in the first place. She wanted to slap Jongwoon’s face as many as she can. She even wants to argue with Ryeowook for hiding the truth. She wasted five years just fir Jongwoon. She didn’t listen to Kyuhyun nor took Yeonhee’s advice seriously. She didn’t act rationally; all she did was to wait and believed in false hopes. Tears started to well in her eyes. She got the ring and car keys out of her drawer and made her way downstairs.

“Ya Cho Seryeong! Where are you going?” Kyuhyun asked.

“Oppa, where’s your phone?”

“Something’s wrong… Tell me.” Kyuhyun said sternly. “What’s with that face?”

“JUST GIVE ME YOUR DAMN PHONE OPPA!” Seryeong suddenly shouted, her face as red as tomatoes.

                Kyuhyun surrendered and gave his phone to his twin sister. Seryeong stormed out of the house, keeping a straight face as she hit the road. Though her eyes felt stingy, she concentrated on the road.