When Yong Guk and I first met, I thought he was kind of weird. He was always humming to himself, always listening to music, and he knew just about everything about every instrument. It seemed he didn’t care whether he was connected to the outside world or not, he was in his own musical wonderland but he was always smiling. But on the complete opposite side of that was his twin brother, Yong Nam. Yong Nam has always had a rough personality and never really got much into music.

When my parents and I first moved into the neighborhood, the Bangs were the first to welcome us and our parents quickly became close. My parents loved that Mr. and Mrs. Bang were so involved in music and were more than happy to let them teach me and introduce me to the world of music. I quickly came to love singing and the acoustic guitar, especially together. Yong Guk, however, loved composing and sometimes writing lyrics and he was good at it, even at a young age. Yong Guk and I grew close through music and I spent a lot of time at his house and his family’s music store since both of my parents worked a lot, but my parents were always excited to hear me sing and play, at least until that day.

June 27^th, 2004 around seven in the evening my mother and I were sitting on the couch watching TV, waiting on my dad as we always did. We saved dessert for all three of us to eat together since my father worked late a lot, but that night, everything changed. The phone rang so my mom went to go get it and the next thing I heard was my mother crying and repeatedly yelling,

‘No, it can’t be, it can’t be’.

I tried to snap her out of it; shaking her, yelling at her, anything. I didn’t know what to do. Then she dropped the phone, her arms and head fell and all she said was,

‘He’s gone, he’s just gone.’

‘Who’s gone mommy? What are you talking about?’

She turned and looked at me. She had finally calmed down. She held my face in the palms of her hands and told me,

‘I’m so sorry, Sun Hee.’

‘About what? Did you do something wrong?

‘No, it’s about daddy.’

‘Is he not going to be home tonight?’

‘Sun Hee sweetie, daddy was in an accident and he got hurt pretty badly. Sun Hee, I’m sorry but daddy passed away.’

I remember knowing what ‘passed away’ meant but it was different hearing it like that. I didn’t know what else to do except cry and that’s what I did. My mom and I cried all night long and it wasn’t until the next day that mom called friends and family to let them know.

After that we went over to the Bang’s house to tell them. Yong Guk’s parents comforted my mother while Yong Guk, Yong Nam, and I went into the backyard and up to their tree house. We sat down and just stayed there, sitting, in silence. I noticed Yong Guk kept trying to say something but never did while Yong Nam just kept staring at me, obviously not knowing what to do. I’ve always wondered what Yong Guk was going to say that day. Instead of saying anything, he came over to me and held my hand, which only made me start to cry again and he let me. Eventually Yong Guk put him arms around me to comfort me, hugging me tightly and telling me he’d be there for me, ‘forever and always’. Even as a little kid, I love the warmth and found comfort in Yong Guk’s arms.

As the years went on and we started school, things only got worse for me. In kindergarten I was constantly picked on for being quiet and a loner. Except for Yong Guk and Yong Nam, I didn’t talk to anyone.

In kindergarten and first grade, kids would just say mean things but as we got older, things got worse and only progressed further. In third grade they started leaving hateful notes and trash in my show locker. In fifth grade they started writing things on my desk, but it wasn’t until sixth grade, when middle school started, that things got physical. They started tripping me in the hallway, throwing and spilling food on me at lunch, stealing me uniform during gym class, locking me in the bathroom, and even watering me down with the hose in the courtyard. Yong Guk and Yong Nam always tried to stop them but it only got them involved. The guys started picking on them and would sometimes push them around and even ‘rough them up’ after school. Yong Guk was never really the ‘tough’ type so he never fought back but Yong Nam couldn’t stand being picked on and always swung back, which got him in a lot of trouble. We tried going to our teachers for help but they just told us ‘that’s life’ and that we should ‘just endure it’, to keep our heads down until it’s all over. Even though that seems heartless, we always knew why, and her name was Jung Min Ah, but everyone called her Mina.

Mina was her so-called stage name because she’s always wanted to be an idol. Her father owns a big company so he pays for her to take tons of dancing and singing lessons, plus she dreams of going to this prestigious music high school. Sung Ju Music High School, known as SJM High, has always been very hard to get into. You have to have a lot of talent or a lot of money in order to be accepted, plus it’s a boarding school so it’s still expensive even if you do have a lot of talent, you have to have a little money. Mina has always picked on me since the day I met her in kindergarten all because when she walked in the classroom and said ‘hi’ to me, I didn’t say ‘hi’ back. I was so nervous and shy that I couldn’t speak but Mina saw it as an opportunity take charge and prove to the other kids that she was the leader of the class.

From kindergarten to middle school, Mina never let up and was always the one giving the orders. She made it her part of her daily ritual to bully Yong Guk, Yong Nam, and I, but at the end of our third year in middle school, Yong Guk decided he would audition to become an idol during the summer before high school. After Mina got whiff of the news, things changed and we all noticed.