Public transportation was always a sort of a sweet escape. There were familiar faces, but no one really cared to get you. No one really minded when it was late at night and you got on only to pull your coat over your eyes and cry some before taking a quick nap. Your phone, which was older than most, buzzed when it was about time to get off, and with a heavy sigh and strayed glances from the people around you, you would get up, off, and trudge home. Nothing spectacular ever happened nor did you meet anyone that made your breath catch in your throat. Nothing made the cold days a little warmer and nothing made the hot days a little more bearable. There was a bleak nothing, and in it, there was comfort.

            Life day after day seemed like clockwork, but in between the ticking there was a small amount of solace that was found when you’d step foot on the subway every morning to work, and as usual, nothing new, no one new, and no one knew. Last night was another sleepless slumber in which eyes kept burning in salted liquid and the pillow was too wet to comfortably sleep on. The light outside the window was too bright and the lump in your throat was too big and the voice in your head was too loud. Everything seemed to come in twos.

            Like how it was two in the morning when the lights (two of them) shone through the window and two little paisley drops fell down two cheeks from two eyes and it hit the bed large enough for two, but there was only one on there, and that was too lonely. The train today though seemed to dawn less than the usual two passengers per stop, and on the one two stops before yours, one person got on and looked over to you. With a quick turn of the head, you looked away, but to no avail, the person came over and sat across from your seat, setting down his bag and offering a warm smile.

            “Good morning.” he said. You looked up from under bangs and studied him, wondering who he was and why he was new to the train. The clockwork had been interrupted. He spoke with an accent and was of some Asian decent, Korean you guessed since you were in a part of the states where Koreans were prominent. He had brown hair though and it looked like he had some work done on his nose. No one was that perfect naturally. There were little indented scars on his face, and when it made you smirk that even perfect people still had flaws. He had to had an acne problem earlier in his life.

            “Good morning.” he reiterated. It wasn’t meant to be rude, but you assumed it was because he thought maybe his English wasn’t good enough. You curtly nodded back to him and he smiled again, making your heart skip a clockwork second. This wasn’t part of your day.

            “Hello.” you said finally, and then you wished you didn’t. He now wanted to talk, but you couldn’t ignore the glint in his eyes, and you allowed yourself to say a few things here and there before you’d probably never see the boy again. He opened his mouth and revealed incredibly white teeth. Just what was his job?

            “It’s a fine morning, isn’t it?” he asked. Small talk. You were okay with small talk, because you led a small life and had a small mind in the grand scheme of things. Not much happened and you were okay with that.

            “I- I guess so.” you stammered out, and the boy looked at you with questioning eyes. He quirked his head to the side a bit and scratched unconsciously at a spot on his jeans.

            “Are you okay? Here-” he said, and then he turned to the bag he had and rummaged around in it some. You watched, and you felt yourself become stiff. No one ever asked if you were okay, and certainly not strangers. You just assumed the morning crowd was a lot more different than the people at night, but the thoughts were lost when he shyly put a clenched fist towards you and then opened it, showing a small piece of chocolate messily wrapped. “I know it looks old and all, but I promise you, my bag is just messy.” he laughed out, and you hesitantly took the chocolate from his hand with your pointer and thumb, putting it up to your face and examining it before unwrapping it carefully and noticing how he watched you.

            The discomfort was getting to you so you jut popped it in your mouth, tasting the milky chocolate and being surprised by the toffee and almond bits that were mixed in with it.

            “By the way, my name is Daehyun.” he said as he propped his chin in his hands. They were resting in an acute angle on his knees as his eyes turned up into crescent moons. It reminded you of the night sky you so aimlessly stared at night after night, waiting and wanting to touch the stars or hoping they’d fall on you.

            “Hi.” you replied after wiping your mouth, pulling out a compact from your handbag and studying your face to wipe away any stray food. There were his fingers on the top of your mirror and you found it being pushed down and his curious face looking right at yours. He grinned playfully and moved to sit beside you. Without any trace of worry, he slung his arm around the back of your seat and leaned in.

            “Aren’t you going to tell me your name?” he asked, and you shook your head no. His confidence faltered, and you say him scowl some at your blatant disregard for a flirtatious stranger. For once you thought someone was different, and then the clockwork started again. He blew the hair out from his eyes and tried again, looking up at you from down low and he winked. You swore at yourself for letting your shy complexion show as your cheeks burned.

            His finger tapped at the seat and the train seemed to move slower than usual as his breath hit faintly on your lips. His face was too close for comfort, but it was comforting in the way that no one had been that close to you willingly for that matter in so long. He smelled of spices like mint and you could see faint traces of cat fur on a sweater that looked worn and faded. There were stains on it, and it was a light purple that reminded you of lavender and you laughed a little thinking about how you bet this kid was a soft grunge blogger at heart who would post about this on his ty blog later.

            It was then you finally took it upon yourself to push him back and stand, laughing slightly as the train came to a stop, and while it was the one before yours, you could use a walk. The boy, Daehyun, stood up too and grabbed his bag, but before he could make his way off the train, the doors had closed and it was off again. You wanted to turn around and smugly wave at the window, but it wasn’t much use as the clockwork feet began to carry you with time down winding stairwells to bring you to your job at a dingy coffee shop in the wall. It was no Starbucks, but it worked for you. It was kind of a small diner with few customers, only the occasional college kid here and there mostly and a tired businessman would come in, so it was good. No one to bother you and you couldn’t really bother anyone.

            Peace was short lived though as you realized he could easily take the bus back around and be back here in less than a couple of minutes to let you clear your head. That damned kid was still in your head for some reason, but he was unreasonably good looking if that was one at all. The way his smile was so pure, and the way he acted like you were the-

            No. Can’t get attached. Can’t allow yourself to even let your heart flutter at anyone. No one liked you, so why return the feeling? Sighing some, you opened the door to work and a small bell chimed. The person behind the counter didn’t even look up as they waited for you to get your apron on and start the drone of the day. Only one other person was in there, scribbling on a pad of paper, probably trying to draw some abstract thing as they sat down in a little coffee shop, sipping on ‘the usual’. How cliché. You snorted a little bit and went into the back, fastening your apron and fixing your hair to set out and wipe down tables that weren’t even dirty.

            Part of you kept looking out the windows of the shop for any sign of Daehyun, just to maybe see if he’d come back for you and insist for your name. Part of you wanted him to, but another part kept telling you keep to the clock and just work. Don’t let your heart take a different tick and don’t let a stranger you met on the morning bus change you in any way shape or form. You don’t exactly remember when you became so cold, so reserved, but it was a state of mind where pain was a minimum thing if it was a thing at all. Not getting hurt was a good thing, but it also prevented you from doing things that you’d like to do as a young adult.

            Take chances, make mistakes, get messy, or so as said by a science cartoon you watched when you were little. You wanted to speed down the highway if you weren’t too afraid to drive. You wanted to go out and party if it wasn’t so terrifying to socialize. You wanted to do illegal things if it weren’t for a nagging self-conscious telling you not to. You wanted to fall in love too if a bitter heart would melt it’s ice a little bit. There were too many things that wanted to happen but too many things that wouldn’t let you.

            You sprayed at a table and monotonously wiped at it with a ragged cloth, then moved on to another table while trying to sneak a glance at the person’s whatever on their paper pad. To no avail, no matter how much you craned your neck, you saw nothing and just gave up. Looking out the window again, you expected to see the bus boy, and thankfully, he wasn’t there. One thing you did not expect though was to see him tying an apron on and picking up some cleaning supplies too.

            Wait.

            He was in your work, tying an apron, and picking up what was generally your job. Why. Why, why, why, why? You meekly turned around and lifted your voice to a squeak just so he could year it.

            “Daehyu-” you began, but he was already talking over you.

            “Ah, bus girl! You work here too? Well, I was just hired and today is my first day and I hope it won’t be my last! I was late no thanks to you!” he laughed, but you slightly hung your head and muttered and apology. He quickly silenced himself though when he noticed he accidentally made you feel bad and he hurried over to you, placing his hand on your back.

            You jolted up and stepped away, noting the hurt look on his face when you did.

            “My name...” you said, telling it to him, but only out of courtesy since you were working together now. Daehyun smiled a little and bit at his lower lip, looking off to the side and then smirked.

            “That’s a lovely name for a lovely girl.” he said, trying to butter you up. You scoffed, rolling your eyes and flipping your hair in his wake. He was a little stunned at the behavior from what he probably saw as the ‘quiet girl’, but there was always sass to be dished.

            “Look, Daehyun, I don’t know what you’re trying to do or how you’re trying to make me feel, but we’re coworkers and bus buddies, and that’s it. You’re not anything to me and don’t try to make me anything to you, got it?” you told him sternly. Daehyun’s face clammed up and his lips were moving like a fish out of water, but he nodded and went to work, sweeping up dust that wasn’t prevalent.

            Telling him to hold it now was for the best since he seemed like a suave kid anyways. Having to work with him would be a pain, all things considered there were only like, four other employees, meaning that he would be scheduled with you more often than not. You groaned to yourself, making him look over at you as kind of a mental check. You know you can’t just tell someone to not have feelings for you and expect it to happen, but it would be interesting seeing how this would play out.

            You felt his eyes on you throughout the day. You felt the softness in them and you wondered if he was thinking the things you wished people thought about you. You wondered if he was thinking about how graceful you were, even though you’d tripped on seven chair legs and stubbed your toe twice, one in which case you had to sit down and hiss at the pain for a few moments before getting back up and working. You wondered if he liked the way you walked and the way you adjusted your apron on your shoulders and how when you sneezed because of your allergies that thankfully it was small and high pitched. You wondered why you even thought he’d like all the odd qualities about you.

            The clock ticked by slowly and everything was cleaner than usual no thanks to an eager new worker that kept you on your toes. He stopped once his sweeping was done and then went to organize some old magazines that seemed to date back until the shop had opened. There wasn’t much of a rush that day since it was a weekday, and there never really was a rush in the first place in all honesty. You had known this, but Daehyun’s eyes kept sparkling whenever someone would pass by, and then they would slowly dim. He was a new kid with high hopes and dreams for probably his first job since he moved here. You wondered if he was in college or had something else in mind. You wondered about his wonder.

            “Hey, I can handle the rest from here. You should head home.” Daehyun said. You raised your head to the nearest clock and noticed it was actually getting time to go. The afternoon was high in summer’s heat, but you felt bad leaving the ‘new kid’ to fend for himself. There was still thirty minutes left in the shift, so you shook your head. He seemed disappointed that he didn’t get to hear your voice. You realized since he’d gotten there you hadn’t spoken to him while you worked at all. He spoke up again.

            “At least let me walk you home after your stop.” he pressured, and once again, you shook your head a bit gruffly.

            “I can handle myself.” you said, and he nodded, mumbling.

            “I never said you couldn’t.”

            Choosing not to reply, you rolled your eyes and went to the back, untying your apron and throwing it down. Oh, how he pissed you off. There were no feelings now of feeling bad for letting the kid finish the rest of the day alone. You hoped the coffee machines malfunctioned and forty customers rushed in, leaving him stranded and helpless. You wished the bus would be run down by the time you got home and he would have to walk in the muggy night all alone. To add on, you wished that on his way home he’d come across some thugs and he’d get beaten up and tomorrow when he came in to work, you could laugh at him. Ha. Ha on Jung Daehyun for being a rude boy.

            You laughed bitterly as you walked by him, giving him a side eye and a brusque wave goodbye. The next employee was just walking in as you left, only letting the bell ring once. Good. He deserved as little happiness as possible. You don’t know why all this animosity built up towards him in the silence, but you guessed it was the fact he didn’t try to talk to you. Why should you talk to him? Why should-

            “Hey!” he called. You cringed. Not even halfway to the station and he was already next to you with two coffees in hand. He handed you one, and begrudgingly, you took it. You hated coffee and should have told him, but before you could take a sip, he grabbed it back and switched it with his. “Close one. I asked the guy who just walked in what you liked and he said you hated traditional coffee and liked sweet stuff. And, since its summer I thought an iced vanilla whatever would maybe help you cool down your blazing attitude.”

            Of course. He had to make a smart- remark and couldn’t have done this out of kindness. You were about to walk by a trash can and thought about throwing it away, but Daehyun fell behind you and set himself so he was walking closest to it, making you just far enough away that it was out of reach. He shot you a glance and you two stood at the bus stop, saturated in awkwardness and tension.

            “If you weren’t so rude perhaps I wouldn’t be so rude back to you.” you said, taking a sip of the drink. It wasn’t so bad. He had good tastes.

            “I gave you chocolate this morning when you were nothing but a total stranger and I’ve complimented you more than once while all you can do is give me short answers and ignore me. Look in the mirror.”

            Another sip. He was right. It wasn’t fair that you were treating him like some when he really was sweet.

            “Why’d you buy me the drink if you thought I was being rude?” you asked sincerely. He smiled a bit and looked down at his own cup. His fingers tapped at the Styrofoam and you saw his nails dig into them a little bit as he bit his bottom lip, looking off to the side with a small blush on his face. He laughed to himself, but it was one of self-loathing.

            “Because I think you’re cute. But forget it, you already told me to give up, so I will. Damn. Here I find someone who’s as gorgeous as you and I’m already friend zoned.” he griped, tapping his foot, wishing the bus would hurry up.

            “I never said I considered you as just a friend though. I just said don’t try to make me anything other than your-”

            “Bus buddy. What part of ‘buddy’ says ‘potential boyfriend’ to you?” Daehyun snapped. He was angry at you for not liking him. Typical boy. You sniggered a little, thinking about how all day he had you bothered with blushes and your mind raced with thoughts of him, hoping he would talk to you. Here now, he was assuming things and as usual, ‘assume’ made its stand as it’s spelling.

            () of (u) and (me).

            “To think you almost made me melt.” you muttered, taking another sip of your iced coffee. He looked over at you slowly, and once again there was a look of adoration in his eyes. He adjusted his bag on his back and you saw he was sweating from the sweltering heat. You stood in a jacket under the shade and were fine as long as you were hydrated. Showing skin made you uncomfortable.

            “Do you think you’ll ever allow me to make you something?” Daehyun asked quietly. His nails pierced the side of his cup and he cursed as some of the liquid came pouring out. He ran to the trashcan and threw it away, wiping his hands on his pants messily and awkwardly laughing, his eyebrows drawn together. “Do you think I’m too eager in trying to make you mince since I just met you today? Do you think I’m some stupid boy who’s frustrated because you don’t like me? Do you think... do you...”

            He stopped himself and pulled on the straps of his bag, shifting it from one shoulder to the other. There was an eminent look of defeat in his face as he turned to look at the bus schedule. It was running late.

            “I’ll see you at work tomorrow.” he sighed, turning to walk away, but something inside you instinctively grabbed his sleeve and made you tell him to stay.

            “You’re my bus boyfriend.” you said, feeling nothing with the words. You wanted to make him happy though. You’d always sacrifice your happiness for the sake of someone else’s. “That means on the bus you’re my boyfriend, but no where else until you can find another perfect girl, because if you got to know me, you’d know very quickly I’m not perfect.”

            “But I’d be okay with that. I mean, your imperfections make you pretty you know?” he said, but you let go of his sleeve.

            “Don’t pull that One Direction crap music on me. I don’t like them and I sure as hell don’t like you okay. I’m doing this so you’ll get off my and so I don’t have to have continuing conversations like these in the future. Now come on, the bus his here.” you groaned, shoving your thumb to the bus that was idling down the road. You meekly waved at the driver when it pulled up.

            “Sorry dearie, the old thing’s getting tuckered out day by day.” the driver said, smiling sincerely. You’d ridden the bus for so long now that only God would know, but you gave him a nod and told him it was okay, going towards your normal spot in the back where it was silently agreed by all the other usual passengers that it was yours. Daehyun followed behind, his hands lingering and wanting to hold you around the waist. He wanted to take this whole ‘bus boyfriend’ thing seriously, but you were less than thrilled. Okay, perhaps you were thrilled an inkling, but no more and no less.

            You sat down and placed your bag at your feet like always, and Daehyun shrugged his backpack off and placed it under the seat, then settled his hands on his thighs. They were not clasped. They were not still. They tapped at tight jeans and it seemed like his sweater was bigger on him than what it was this morning. He was trying to make himself smaller; He was trying to make himself feel like he did. He wanted to hold your hand desperately, but your hands were sandwiched in between your thighs, your legs bouncing up and down with the anxiety.

            He kept whispering ‘, , , ’ over and over to himself when his legs began to run in place too. His eyes shifted from your hands to your lips to your hair to your legs to your hands and then they stayed there. He bit his lip and them, trying to give them any trace of moisture that he was lacking in his body. No sweat. No sweat as in he had sweated out all the nerves and was just on the brink of misery because you would not expose your hands.

            They were coated with sweat and your hands were always a little too dry for any comfort. You could drag your nails across your palms and dead skin would cake up under them. You didn’t get why anyone would want to hold them. One was stuck to your inner thigh, but you wedged it loose and cracked your knuckles by curling your fingers under and pressing them to the seat in front of you and shoving. Loudly, they popped and you wiggled them out, examining your piss-poor self-manicure. You let it hover in front of you face.

            He was looking directly at it. Shamelessly, he lifted his hand, but he set it back down. This was a challenge for him you decided. You would not move it until he grabbed it. He swallowed hard. You could have sworn he swallowed his tongue. He was cotton mouthing, you could tell by the way he kept opening and closing it. He raised his hand again, and it was getting closer to yours. You saw there was a proud sense in his eye like “You did it dude, congrats.”, but when he finally got to your hand, he fumbled to grab it.

            He didn’t directly lace your fingers together. First, he brought it down to his lap and just played around with your palm, pressing on the pads and smiling faintly when your fingers would subtly move. He traced all the lines he could see which were too many for your liking, but he seemed to like it. He seemed to be fascinated by your hand.

            “First time you’ve ever held someone’s hand?” you joked, expecting him to huff at you and give you a long, drawn out and exaggerated ‘no’, but he snapped his head up and had on a meek expression.

            “Is it obvious?” he asked, his fingers still exploring the expanse of your hand.

            “Do you have a or something?”

            He smiled at that, and finally, he placed his hand on yours and let it scoot to the side where his fingers lay in between yours. Curling them together, he watched it happen, gauging the newfound feeling. The fact he didn’t answer your question made you uncomfortable.

            He was happy with himself. You felt him rub small circles on your knuckle with his thumb and he would pull away every so often to wipe away a nervous sweat on his thigh, offering an embarrassed ‘sorry’ before quickly returning post. You glanced out the window though once you go accustomed to the feeling though, which took a good solid 15 minutes or so. The ride back to your stop took generally around 45, meaning you’d have to put up with him for another half and hour. Thankfully, he wasn’t talking, but you had no idea his stop. You looked over to him and saw him admiring you, his lips curls into a steady grin.

            “When’s your stop?” you asked, shrugging off the impending feeling of a smidgen of joy that he was looking at you. His face fell at the question and you saw him bite at his lip.

            “It’s... after yours.” he said, looking the other way now, trying to do anything to ultimately look at you again. You squeezed his hand and pointed to the map.

            “No, like, which station. Do you need to transfer to red line or yellow line or...”

            It then dawned on you why someone would be carrying a backpack to work and then around with him. It showed a lot with his sweater and how beaten it was and even his jeans were worn down. It was summer, but all he had were winter clothing. But how did he land a job if-

            “I’ll get off at the next stop if I’ve extended my stay a little too much.” he said, letting go of your hand and pulling his backpack up to his lap. He hugged it, letting his cheek rest on the material and you wondered if he used it as a pillow. You hated this spark of hospitality that boiled in you though.

            You’d sacrifice your happiness for the sake of anyone else’s. If the people around you were happy while you remained miserable, it’s was contentment.

            “Your stop can be mine. I mean, we work at the same place now so I don’t, I don’t see the problem in... You’re still only my bus boyfriend.” you stammered out, searching to hold his hand again. You missed the feeling of being wanted by someone you barely knew.

            He laughed a little at your blatant nervousness. He knew though that deep down you were just being kind and it really was only an act of hospitality. The look on his face though was one of the deepest gratitude, and before you could stop it, his lips were on your cheek. As chaste as it was, it still made your heart do flips in your stomach and your face turn an alarming shade of red. He didn’t point it out thankfully.

            “Thank you, from the very bottom of my heart if I ever did have one.” he kidded, pulling his backpack closer to him and ping it. He pulled out his wallet and as fat as it was, you were surprised about his condition. Though, people have methods of making money that were less than conventional, and you dared didn’t question. At least, not now.

            He clutched it to his body as he rifled through what looked like a lot of ones, and you felt a pang of regret about this. He was going to have to expose way too much about his life than he needed to. Though, judging by all the loose change he had, he had exposed himself to more than a few strangers in his days. You saw a blush high on his cheeks that consumed his ears too when he counted out numbers to himself. They rose steadily, but they rose.

            “I can offer you money for rent if you want, but not much if that’s okay. I mean, I really want to buy new clothing because of the job and I can help pay for food too if you want. You’re being so kind to me and we’re just coworkers so I know letting a total stranger live with you is probably weird but-”

            “But it’s fine! Buy your clothes first and then we can discuss living expenses. I don’t cook much, but what I can cook, I can cook well. I hope you don’t mind a lot of soups and barely any meat unless it’s fast food.” you said meekly. He laughed a little bit though and stopped counting his bills. He shut his wallet and looked down into his lap, folding his hands over the tattered leather and looking at the worn sleeves on the sweater. His hair was a little greasy, but you always thought boys just had that sheen. Under his nails were caked with dirt, but you look no time to notice. The scars you saw earlier, there was still a fair amount of acne. Everything about the boy screamed desperate.

            The bus halted and you both looked up and out the window at the stop. It was yours. You urged him to get up and move, and he let you out before him, guiding you with his hand on your lower back. The bus driver eyed it, but you gave him a look to tell him to ignore it. He did as the two of you piled off and on to the streets. The sun was still high even though it was later in the afternoon. He looked up and soaked it in. His skin was tan and contrasted your pale tone. He was like a bloomed flower that was just stepped on one to many times.

            You walked on in front of him, leading him silently to your home. It wasn’t really a home though. It was a smaller apartment with one bed, one bathroom, and it wouldn’t be too much to tell him to sleep on the couch since it was your place. The bed was big enough for two, but it already cradled you and your sadness. Daehyun watched with wide eyes as he passed by the new surroundings and way home.

            “Are you sure you’re okay with letting me stay with you? I mean, oh, also, do you know of any thrift shops nearby?” he asked, cutting himself off and looking around. You turned your head to look over your shoulder at him and his mouth was slightly parted. He looked like a confused child, lost and looking for refuge. You eyed his sweater up and down and then you chuckled to yourself some.

            “You’re not going to a thrift store. I’ll take you somewhere nicer so you can get some big boy clothing. If you need help, I’ll pitch in. You don’t even have to pay me back.” you said, smiling. There was a sickly look on his face, but he held it down with an unsure grin.

            “You- you don’t have to give me any money. I can afford it myself, and I don’t mean for that to be rude. I- if we could stop by a bank though so I could get larger bills. I won’t be able to get as much but it will be nicer, right?” he asked, and you fell in step with him, grinning and tilting your head at him. He was being too darn cute for your liking.

            “Yep! T-shirts, new jeans, some dress shirts and nice button downs. I’ll even find you a sweater or two and some cardigans if you want. Belts too? Shoes? You name it, I’ll find it for you on an affordable price. We can use my shopper’s card to for all the discounts. You wouldn’t believe the savings we can get.” you told him, kicking at a rock on the ground, sending it flying and careening into a railing, having it go off with a resonating clank. He looked absolutely delighted.

            You pushed him a little bit to turn a corner and you were faced with a row of small housing units, and then you walked past them to ones that were even smaller and stacked neatly like crackers in a box. Walking past a few, you took another turn to a flight of stairs, and after one, you were home. Daehyun stared at the door and swallowed the lump in his throat. He hated having to do this. He hated being ‘that guy’. He wondered about what your parents would think if a stranger was living with you, nonetheless, someone you weren’t even dating. You thought nothing of it.

            “Welcome home, Daehyun.” you said as you opened the door, showing him in. His feet stayed planted firmly on the pavement outside for a little bit, stunned that you said his name so freely for the first time. He blushed without meaning to, but he shook it off and stepped in, looking around at the cozy room. There was a couch and a TV and everything. A cat even walked forward to sniff at Daehyun’s pant leg before running off into another room. He chuckled at the feline and turn to look back at you. The door was shut now and you locked it, flipping on a light and telling him he could drop his bag and make himself at home.

            “This suits you for some odd reason.” he commented as he set down his backpack and looked around. Quaint. He thought it, but he didn’t say it. You knew by the look on his face that it was a reasonable size for someone who was single, but you also supposed that it was a thing where since you were single, wouldn’t you make an effort to have someone move in? A roommate even over than a significant other, but there was nothing he could do as you led him to the kitchen.

            “You’re going to sleep on the couch if you don’t mind. I mean, no harm done it’s not like I wouldn’t want you sleeping next to me but, it’s just-”

            “It’s just that you don’t want me sleeping next to you. Don’t worry, I get it. I’ve been told the same thing by many people before you.” he said a little hurt, but you meant it nothing like in the sense.

            “No, no it’s just that I’m really not too touchy but I assure you when it gets colder or I trust you more, whichever comes first, my bed is big enough for you too once I can learn to sleep soundly.” you said, almost letting it slip that you considered your sadness a big enough part of you to let it take your bed. He invaded your mind and you wondered of he could mask that feeling, but you shoved it away as he took a seat at your kitchen’s bar and swiveled back and forth.

            “So it’s not because I’m ‘dirty’ and was on the streets or whatever?” he asked with a bit of relief in his eyes. They were bigger than you really had seen, and a beauty mark adorned right next to his left one. He wasn’t dirty on your eyes. He wasn’t anything really to you yet except a very intriguing stranger. He was someone in your house that you took on a challenge to see if by the end of this relationship if you could cuddle in bed with him. He glanced over at the couch and stood to walk towards it.

            “You want anything to eat?” you asked him, pulling out a pan to make some food for yourself. He looked up after setting himself down on the couch, running his hands over the material.

            “Do you have any soups? Like chicken noodle or tomato? I know it’s hot out but soup always-”

            “You don’t have to explain yourself.” you cut him off, laughing curtly while rifling through the pantry. Surely you could at least offer him some comfort food on his first night here. He already knew you couldn’t cater to him every night, but at least once a week would suffice. He smiled warmly and looked around, eyeing the cat that was walking towards him and holding out his hand. You watched carefully while the generally choosy cat sniffed him, pulled its head back, drew back its ears and swish it’s tail before darting off again. You sniggered at the dejected look on his face.

            “If the cat doesn’t trust you, I don’t either.” you said, pulling out a pan and filling it with water, waiting for it to come to a boil. Daehyun’s confused look amused you.

            “Cats like me usually...” he told you, puzzled. The cat ran over to your legs and nuzzled up against it, purring loudly while staring over at Daehyun. You scooped him up in your arms and gave it a kiss before letting it down and patting it away.

            “My cat it not the usual cat, so learn to let him love you, and only when the cat loves you will I even think about liking you.” you told him as the water boiled. You poured in two packets of noodles so the both of you could eat that night. He smirked a little bit and put his legs up on the couch, watching you cook and occasionally looking at the cat, whose tails was going back and forth, staring at Daehyun’s bobbing shoes.

            A timer went off and dinner was ready. He swung his legs off the couch as you held up a bowl and a cup to him, asking him which one he wanted. Of course, he picked the bowl, and you set it on a dinged up plate, ladling out a portion before he tackled you down to get it himself. He smiled at you and blew over the surface of the soup, smiling gently down at the food. He hummed thanks and went to sit on the island while you stood with your mug, sipping it every so often to burn your lips a little. The pain was worth the taste.

            He spooned bite after bite into his mouth like it was his first meal in days, and that could have been a very real scenario. It hit you then.

            You were broken and yet, you still took in things and people that couldn’t make their way either. The cat that paraded around was once skinny and starving too, and much like Daehyun, when you set it down some food, it ate it so fast it barely had the time to taste it.

            “Slow down babe, there’s plenty more.” you said, and he looked up.

            “So you’re not going to kick me out?” he asked, taking another bite. This time, he chewed as he waited for you to answer. The look you were giving him was on the border of wonder and fright.

            “I’d never.” was all you could tell him. He swallowed and the soup burned his throat. It was still too hot for it to be enjoyable, but the only way he could show thanks without affection was to eat what you had offered.

            The two of you sat in silence as the rest of the night idled on. You left to bathe and he changed while you were away, getting into rattier clothes to sleep in. You offered him some of yours, but he politely declined.

            Lights went out and you were tucked into bed, but you could hear him talk to himself. He was thanking someone through tears that he had found an angel, even though he swore under his breath there was no God. He only broke frame when you heard the cat meow, and then he let out a little laugh. If you could strain your ears hard enough, you could hear the cat purring.