Marshmallows. 

That’s what he tasted like the first time and the younger was pretty sure that he wouldn’t be able to forget about it for a long, long time. He didn’t want to go to the party at first. He was a good student, entered that expensive college with a scholarship and was responsible enough for his parents to be worriedless. He didn’t party, he didn’t drink or smoke, he was a good kid in general and he was proud of it. But his friends didn’t think the same. Yoseob was always dragging him to all those clubs with noisy music and sweaty bodies while Hyunseung was the one inviting him to all those college parties with pouty face that he couldn’t resist. His friends didn’t understand that he wasn’t in the mood for parties or clubs, he just wanted to stay at home studying or playing Starcraft with his online friends. But he was here again, surrounded by unknown people drinking and having fun like there was no tomorrow. But this time’s party was slightly different. They were only 10 so they decided to play truth or dare better, it was a more intimate way of enjoying the party without the awkwardness of an actual conversation. Up until now the worst luck, o better depending on who was looking at it, was on Hyunseung side. He decided to play dare twice in a row and he was stucked in a closet with another guy called Junhyung for 5 minutes, and they were pretty breathless when they came out, and had to kiss the said Junhyung in front of everyone again the second time, making the rest of the group shout in awe. 

They kept playing for most of the night and Dongwoon was happy that he only had to play once and asked for truth, resulting on Hyunseung asking him about how many girlfriends he had had, a pretty easy question since he wasn’t interested in dating and the answer was none. He didn’t know that would change just minutes after. They decided to play just one more round before going home, it was getting pretty late and even though the next day was Saturday they should go back to their houses before the dawn. It was Junhyung who made the bottle spin and, to Dongwoon’s delight, he wasn’t the one chosen by the glass container but the person sitting next to him. Dongwoon didn’t pay much attention to him all night, he didn’t know him nor had seen him around the campus ever he did notice that he felt as awkward in that party as himself. Dongwoon felt some kind of pity for him when he asked for dare. Stupid guy, since it’s the last round he should have asked for truth, I’m sure they would go easy on him, thought Dongwoon while looking at the guy, which name was still unknown to him. It was time for Hyunseung to choose the challenge and Dongwoon saw a smirk in his friend’s face that sent the younger shivers down his spine. 

“Kikwang, so you chose dare… Ok, you will have to kiss…Dongwoon! And you two have to kiss for at least two minutes!” Said Hyunseung while clapping his hands happily. He sure was happy with his challenge and rest of the room nodded in agreement. 

“WHAT!!??” Shouted Dongwoon startled. 

He wasn’t expecting that, after all Hyunseung was his friend supposedly, he was supposed to be on his side but now he wasn’t so sure. 

Dongwoon looked at his left, waiting for his future kisser to say something against it, maybe he would change into truth now or something. But what he saw what the guy looking straight in his eyes, like really looking at him. And Dongwoon lost track of the time for he doesn’t know how much. Those eyes were like two pools of hot chocolate and Dongwoon felt his soul being engulfed by the other, who leaned closer to give him a peak in the lips. And he tasted it, the sweet flavor from the other’s lips, like marshmallows and strawberries and all those sweet stuff that he loved to eat when he was a child. He deepened the kiss unconsciously, trying to taste more of the other, their tongues intertwined, battling against each other, until a moan escaped the other’s mouth. Dongwoon jumped breathlessly, not knowing what happened. He looked around and everybody was looking at him with surprised faces, especially his friend Hyunseung, whose jaw dropped open. He stood up embarrassed and run away, leaving the place in a hurry and not looking back, while Kikwang just smirked at the scene in front of him, he definitely did right coming to that party. 

Dongwoon went to class the next day hoping to not see Hyunseung nor Yoseob, since he was sure the older would have told the other about his little accident at the party. And at first it seemed like he managed to avoid everyone related with the party for most of the day, what he didn’t thought could be possible was to see Kikwang standing in front of his classroom. And if he didn’t pay attention to him the previous night he was clearly paying it now. And the student couldn’t help but think that Kikwang was looking totally gorgeous. He had his reddish hair messed up in a perfect way and was wearing simple black skinny jeans that looked so tight and a white dressing shirt under which he was wearing another white t-shirt. Even though he looked godly he's appearance was kinda messy, like he picked up his clothes blindly, but he managed to look good anyways. Kikwang grinned brightly when he saw Dongwoon coming out and the younger thought that maybe he was waiting for him, even though it was weird. Why would Kikwang be looking for him? And how did he know where he studied? Dongwoon dismissed the idea and turned left in the hallway. But he stopped again when he heard a voice calling for him and turned around just to find Kikwang way too close looking right in his eyes.

"Hey, were you going anywhere? I've been waiting for you like forever and now you are running away again" Said Kikwang still grinning.

Dongwoon couldn't help but notice how his eyes disappeared every time he smiled like that, forming two crescent moons that gave his attractive face a hint of innocence. Kikwang’s grin fade away slowly, until it was just a small smile, he was clearly waiting for Dongwoon to say something, anything, but the younger was way too shocked about the fact that he was waiting for him that he was unable of saying something coherent. They stood there, looking at each other, until Kikwang broke the silence again.

“I guess I shouldn’t have come. I just wanted to apologize for what happened yesterday. I guess I got too caught up in the moment and I didn’t realize that you were uncomfortable. I truly apologize for…”

“Stop it!” Said Dongwoon all of a sudden, causing Kikwang to tilt his head in curiosity. “It isn’t you who have to apologize but me. I’m so sorry about what happened, I shouldn’t have been in that party in the first time, it’s just that Hyunseung drag me there and I wasn’t able to refuse. I’m truly sorry.” Ended Dongwoon in a whisper. He lowered his head, not wanting to look at those eyes anymore.

A part of his mind was telling him that he shouldn’t be sorry and he was ashamed of thinking that way. He knew that a part of him enjoyed the kiss, his first kiss, and he wanted to repeat the scene over and over again. But when he started to listen to Kikwang’s apology and how he was just caught up in the moment, probably a side effect of being drunk, he felt something crushing inside of him. But what was he expecting? Was he expecting for Kikwang to be his prince in shining armor so he would come back and take him because he stole his first kiss? He really should stop watching so much dramas with his mum, because those things didn’t happen in real life. 

But he felt a hand in his chin and his head was pulled up so he was looking again at that smiling face. And yes, he was smiling at him and he was so close that their noses were almost touching. He was able to feel the other hot breath smiling of marshmallows and strawberries again and he felt a shiver coming up and let out a sight that made Kikwang chuckle. 

“I guess that now that we are done with the apologizing we can make it up to each other. Maybe…ice-cream? What do you think?” Kikwang didn’t expect his answer and just grabbed his hand and drag him outside the building.

The weather outside wasn’t very inviting, it was cloudy and chilly, so Dongwoon didn’t know why Kikwang would suggest eating ice cream on a day like that. He couldn’t stop his curiosity so he asked directly about it once they were sitting on a beautiful park, ice creams bought and Kikwang was humming to a song. 

“How is that you suggested ice cream on a day like this? The natural would have been to drink coffee or something warm…” 

“Who stated that you have to drink warm things on cold weather and cold things on hot weather? I guess you should be able to decide what you want to eat and I was craving ice cream today.” Answered Kikwang with a thoughtful face, like wondering why would Dongwoon ask about that.

The student decided that it was better to not keep asking. Kikwang reminded him of another friend who liked ice cream and to answer weirdly and he knew that it would be better to just shut up his mouth. He continued his chocolate cone in silence, just looking at the people walking by. They kind of enjoy the silence, it was peaceful and neither of them felt the need of say anything. They spent most of the afternoon just like that. Sometimes they would comment about the people they saw or just about random facts, nothing too personal, but they were comfortable. It seemed like Kikwang didn’t like talking about himself and Dongwoon felt his life was boring enough to not even try talking about it. 

Their evening was interrupted by Kikwang’s cellphone ringing. After a short conversation in which the man just answered with monosyllables, he told Dongwoon he had to go to work and left Dongwoon alone there, thinking about how he had enjoyed the afternoon together with Kikwang and how he really wanted to see the other again.

Soon after Kikwang left, Dongwoon felt his own cell buzzing. It was Yoseob again, surely wanting to go out to some new club or anything. He picked up the call and he was proven right when the cheerful voice of his friend asked him to join them on a new club outside the city. He was going to decline the offer but decided that maybe he could drop off to see Hyunseung and scold him for betraying him the previous night. He went back home to take a shower and change his clothes before meeting up with his friends, who were waiting from him in the front door. The 4 of them, Yoseob and Doojoon y Hyunseung and Junseung, were dressing quite provocative, with leather and black clothes, while Dongwoon was dressing informally.

“What’s up with the leather, guys?” Asked Dongwoon confused. 

“Yoseob-ah… did you do it again? I told you to tell him exactly what kind of club this one was… Now I get how you convinced him to come.” Hyunseung had a worried face while he was talking to Yoseob.

Yoseob approached Dongwoon with an apologetic face and the younger regretted coming more than ever. 

“I’m sorry, Dongwoon-ah. I should have told you, but I really want you to come and enjoy a wild night for once” 

Wild…night…Dongwoon couldn’t process that information fast enough before he was being dragged inside the club by his friends. And to say that he regretted coming was a total understatement. He definitely need to go out of the ASAP. The interior of the club was bathed by reddish and purple lights. Instead of sofas or chair there were beds, all of them with red or black sheets. And in every bed there were men and women all dressed up in leather, with more or less clothes, all of them enjoying their company. What the hell was he doing there? And why did Yoseob even thought of dragging him there? He looked at Hyunseung, who looked really worried and then to Yoseob who had a lustful shine in his eyes while he looked at the sight in from of him. 

“You can go out if you don’t want to stay, Dongwoon-ah” Said Doojoon, Yoseob’s last boyfriend, looking at him with a knowing look. Dongwoon haven’t talk with the other much but he knew he was way more mature than Yoseob, so he thanked him silently while making his way to the exit. 

But he found that going out was way more difficult than coming in. He started to look for the door, he didn’t walk enough into the club to get lost, did he? He started to look frenetically for a way out when he take a glimpse of a green exit sign. He finally found a door and exited that living hell he was in. He found himself in a back alley, way too dark to be safe, so he started to walk, hoping to find he’s way back home soon. But a loud sound made him stop on his track. It seemed like a discussion between two men and Dongwoon made an attempt of disappearing from there, but then he heard a voice he could swear he knew.

Impossible… He thought while making he’s way to the source of the voices.

“Why are you refusing, manwhore? Do you need more money? I will give you all the money you want, you just have to stop refusing. “ A disgusting voice could be heard from behind a corner.

“I told you, old fart, I’m not going to go to live with you anytime soon. You can come here and spent your dirty money, but I won’t go anywhere with you” 

This time Dongwoon heard the voice clearer and he recognized it. Even though his mind didn’t want to accept the fact that he was there shouting with a disgustful old guy about whatever they did in that club, he was clearly hearing him right now. He froze in the spot, unable to go further, but he didn’t need too. He heard a strong sound, like a bone being broken and a body emerged from behind the corner, eyes wide open and a scary face. 

“Dongwoon-ah…” Said Kikwang surprised of seeing someone like him there. But before they could say anything the younger grab him by the wrist and they both started to run, leaving the alley and the club behind.


 

“Did that bastard hit you?!” He asked noticing how his anger started to grow.

Kikwang just opened his eyes tiredly and gave him a sad smile, nothing compared to those bright smiles he gave him just a few hours ago. He tried to sit down but cringed when his wrist sent him a wave of pain through his whole body. Dongwoon didn’t fail in noticing how the older was in pain so he stood up and helped the other. They both walked without talking into Dongwoon’s bedroom, Kikwang was so tired to fight with the younger, so he just let the other lead him into his own bed. Dongwoon made him sit while he went to the bathroom and came back with a first-aid kit. He took from a nearby closet a pajamas and gave it to Kikwang, who was looking at Dongwoon with a serious face.

“You really don’t have to do this. You don’t know me.” He said staring at the pajamas on his lap.

“I know I don’t have to. Go and take a shower. We will treat you after that. Don’t worry, I don’t think Yoseob will be back tonight, so we will be alone…I mean-you-I-I can sleep in his bed and-it’s not-…” Dongwoon started to stutter so fast that it was hard for Kikwang to catch up what he was saying anymore.

“I know what you mean, Dongwoon-ah. Don’t worry, I’ll take that shower, sorry for the disturbance” He said while standing up with a chuckle.

Once alone at his room Dongwoon sat on his bed. He noticed that he had his knuckles white from the tension. He tried to stabilize his breath. What the hell had happened in that club? From what he had deduced Kikwang definitely worked there. And who the hell was that man who hit him? He wasn’t certain about the facts, but he was sure about the fact that he wanted to protect Kikwang and stay by his side as long as the other was eager to allow him. After what felt like forever Kikwang came out of the small bathroom wearing Dongwoon’s pajamas and looking very different to how he was just minutes ago.

“What’s up with the anime pajamas?” Said the just-showered man with a big grin on his face, that grin that made Dongwoon’s hear skip a beat.

The younger patted the mattress for the other to sit down next to him and he just obeyed him. They were facing each other again but Dongwoon sight was on Kikwang’s sore cheek. His fingers brushed the cheek lightly, sending both of them electric waves through his bodies.

“Does it hurt?” Asked the curious boy, with his fingers still placed in the others cheek.

“Not anymore” Whispered the other, whose heart was beating as fast as it could.

Kikwang couldn’t help but lean closer, suddenly missing the other even though they were next to each other. He didn’t know why but he needed to be closer to him, physically and emotionally. He needed to take everything from the other and give his all in return. He knew it was risky, he knew that he could lose everything, but he also knew that it would be worth the try. So he did it. He started with a little brush, so light that he thought the other didn’t even notice. But he then felt a hand sneaking on his waist and Dongwoon was already kissing him back. Kikwang took this as a good sign so he let his tongue ask for permission so he could explore the other’s mouth and their tongues started a battle of dominance that Kikwang won easily. In no time Dongwoon was panting again and Kikwang used that little break to work on the other earlobe, making the other moan loudly. He grinned against the other shoulder where he was leaving butterfly kisses before feeling his cheek getting hotter. He stopped for a moment when the pain in his left cheek was getting unbearable, causing the other to look at him worried.

“It does hurt, Kikwang….” He said matter-of-factly while the other just nodded with his head lowered.

Dongwoon stood up, ready to go to Yoseob’s room to catch some sleep before losing control over his acts. He never even kissed a girl, o guy, before and now he almost had with a stranger, with a ual worker to be more specific. He needed to clear up his mind, maybe had a cold, cold shower. But before he could move away the other male took him by the wrist and whispered something with his head still lowered.

“What’s wrong?” He said taking the other’s chin to look him in the eye.

“Could you stay with me?” Kikwang was pleading him with his eyes and Dongwoon just blushed intensely before nodding.

He decided to take a much needed shower and go to the school library, maybe studying he would be able to forget about all that happened the last two days. But he was proven quite wrong when he found himself unable to concentrate in anything he was reading. Two days ago he would be able to study for a whole day without losing any concentration at all but now his mind was drifting away to unknown places, places filled up with all things related to Kikwang, ice cream, marshmallows, strawberries, hot breath sending shivers… All of the memories from the past two days were back as vivid as if he was living them over again and even though he tried to avoid it they still lingered there, filling his whole mind. He decided it was time to take a break and try contacting his friend to get some contact information of Kikwang. He exited the library and sat down on a bench under a tree. It was a beautiful day and he hoped to see Kikwang again so they could take a walk together.

He started dialing Hyunseung when the cell started to buzz and the caller ID said Hyunseung. Dongwoon picked up the call hoping to get some good news from the other.

“Hi there, Dongwoon-ah… Sorry about what happened yesterday, you know Yoseob didn’t mean it.” Hyunseung sounded really stressed about the fact that Dongwoon was dragged to a place like that unwillingly.

“Don’t worry, hyung, I know he didn’t mean wrong. It’s just that I don’t like to party like you guys, I hope you all can understand and accept that fact. But I was going to call you because I need something from you.” Dongwoon felt kind of bad for his hyung, he wasn’t even the one who dragged him there but he was the one apologizing, as always.

“Anything that could make it up for you, Dongwoon-ah”

“You remember Kikwang, right? The one who was sitting beside me in the party two nights ago” Dongwoon hoped for Hyunseung to know who he was just with that description since he didn’t want to talk about the kiss again.

“You mean the one you kissed? Yep, he was brought by one of my friends. Why? You want to see him again?” Dongwoon was able to hear the smirk on Hyunseung’s face.

“Well, I need to know where he lives or his telephone number or something. I need to talk with him about…something urgent.” He tried not to sound so anxious, but felt that he was failing miserably.

“If you leave me a few minutes I can see what I can do for you. I will call you back in a while” Said Hyunseung before hanging up.

He waited there, sitting on that bench, for what it felt like forever. After a few more glances at the cell, maybe trying to check out if he had lost signal or something, the cell started buzzing again and he picked it up nervously.

“Any good results?” He asked without leaving the other say a word.

“Relax, little Woonie, it seems like it’s a really important matter for you to act like this. I got an address, but you have to promise me to not go there by night, it’s not a good place to be at, but I know I won’t be able to stop you, so I’m just hoping you will be careful.”

 “Just spill it out, I won’t do anything dangerous. I promise, hyung.”

Dongwoon started to look frenetically for the other around the apartment but he was nowhere to be seen. The tiny bedroom was in a state similar to the rest of the rooms, the window was broken and the mattress was in the floor. He then heard a thud in the bathroom next to the bedroom and approached the closed door carefully. He opened the door carefully, not knowing what he was going to find there. The door opened slowly, not without creaking, to reveal a sight even more horrifying. There, in the bathroom, he saw a body sinking in the bathtub. His head was lowered and he had the hair stuck because of the sweat. Dongwoon approached the body slowly, afraid of finding out. He started to notice then that the tub was filled up with water, water that was kind of…reddish?

Dongwoon sped up and took the body out of the water. He ran to the couch in the living room, the only thing in the room that was still standing. He ran to the bathroom and took some towels and a blanket from the bedroom. He went back to the living run, where the other had his eyes open again, which made Dongwoon sight of relief, but was staring at the wall with a serious face.

“Why did you come?” Said Kikwang in a whisper. The coldness in his voice scared Dongwoon.

“I-you-alone…” Dongwoon tried to clear his throat again before trying to talk again “I woke up alone and I thought you could be in some kind of problem so…”

“You shouldn’t have come, Dongwoon-ah” This time his voice was softer. He tried to sat up on the couch, his clothes were totally drenched and the punches he had receive from that guy weren’t helping him much.

Dongwoon ran to his side and pushed him down again with a worried glare. Kikwang cringed at the contact. He was feeling numb just minutes ago, when he entered the bathtub and started to see how his life started to drift away while tainting the water with its crimson color, but now the coldness and the pain were back once again, as well as the memories of what happened just a while ago. Little flashes kept coming over and over again, how he came back home at dawn and someone what waiting for him at home, someone unexpected. But Kikwang wasn’t going to avoid the contact anymore. The time with Dongwoon was short but showed him that something wasn’t right with his life. He needed to fix everything that was wrong before going back to the younger, but he knew it wouldn’t be easy.

Kikwang had led that life for too long. Maybe going back now was impossible but he was decided to try. But the person waiting for him, and his two hitmen, wasn’t going to leave him go either. He entered home and passed through his guests, going directly to his bedroom, where he put out a suitcase and started to stuff all of his clothes inside. In no time the two hitmen were beside him, dragging him outside, but he managed to fight back, at least his work made him strong enough to fight back against at least one of the two big men. He kept struggling for a while all over the house, glasses breaking and furniture falling down. He wasn’t going to leave that disgusting person control him anymore. But he didn’t expect for the boss to approach him and take him by the neck, making hard to breathe.

“We will leave, but if I see you near that kid again he’ll die, and you know I mean it” Kikwang froze at the coldness in the voice and he knew he meant it.

“I was frightened” Said Dongwoon while still working on the other’s hair.

“What?” Kikwang got surprised.

“When you left… I was afraid not only because you could be in some problems but because you left me behind. I thought I wouldn’t see you again” Dongwoon stopped his actions while talking and Kikwang could feel that the younger was trembling.