Taemin likes this bar. They have nice music, the people behave rather decently, he can feel safe even without Minho around.
He’s now with Jonghyun probably, at least that’s what Taemin assumes- there’s no sight of neither of the boys. He doesn’t mind though; it’s been a few weeks since their last argument. Ever since, they relationship seem to have changed completely; Minho’s home almost everytime, doing nothing in particular, sometimes watching some variety shows on TV, sometimes playing Heroes IV on his laptop. When he’s not home, he’s either at the grocery buying food, or on a field, kicking a ball by himself. No books, no comics, no romantic music borrowed from Jonghyun. As if it all never bothered him, as if it wasn’t the center of his attention these past few months. Taemin can’t say he minds though; now, Minho is all about him again, whenever he comes home, whenever he has a bit of time to spare. It’s like in those good, old, times… well, not that old actually.
That period of time when Minho would leave constantly, engulf himself into the world of made-up stories, it’s long gone now. It’s almost hard to believe that such period ever existed in first place.
But then there come moments in which Taemin finds Minho sitting on their couch, staring blankly at the wall, pale and visibly broken, and he can’t fight the feeling of anxiety.
But all it takes for Minho is just to feel Taemin’s presence, feel his worried gaze on him, and suddenly, he’s all happy and calm, chuckling merrily, talking some nonsense.
Sometimes it all appears really fake to Taemin. He won’t admit it, but he feels there’s something wrong with his lover. There’s been something for a while.
Now though he can’t worry; the atmosphere in the bar is really chilling and nice, there’s a plenty of his old and new friends. He and Minho came here to celebrate their fourth anniversary after all.
Taemin takes a sip of his grapefruit beer and takes in the crowd. He recognizes people from his elementary school, his high school, his university. He sees Ailee that he hasn’t seen in a while, given she’s lived in USA for a couple of years; he sees Taecyeon that has been his very first man crush once upon a time. He chuckles at the memory. He scans other faces as well, happy to see them getting along so well, as if they never parted, as if they were best friends, even if it’s the first time they see each other.
And then, his gaze falls upon a single guy, sitting at a small table, reading some thick book. He doesn’t recognize him; maybe he just doesn’t remember him, maybe his vision is too blurry already. Taemin takes another sip and approaches the guy.
Now, as he’s standing right in front of him, he’s sure he’s never seen him before. He has a bit-too-long honey hair, falling onto his eyes, that follow each line of the book cautiously. His lower lip is hidden between his teeth, he’s probably really into the action. He’s definitely older than Taemin, he’s maybe around Minho’s age.
Taemin tries to read the book’s title; finally, when the latter lifts it a bit, his eyes widening as he reads something, he catches the title.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
He smiles and pats the other’s shoulder. He seems startled, jumps at the sudden touch and almost drops the book. Taemin smiles apologetically and bows slightly. The latter returns the bow, still breathing heavily. Taemin finds that he’s a bit taller than the stranger.
“Hi. It’s a rare sight, you know, a guy with a book in a bar… such a book, on top of that” he says, tilting his head and sending the other his cute smile. He can feel the tension go off the older one, as he sighs deeply and runs his fingers through his hair.
“I… well, you could say I’m a bookworm” he finally utters, returning a small, shy smile.
Taemin grins.
“That’s something so rarely seen these days… you know, I used to love books too, but then I started studying and somehow didn’t manage to find enough time to read” he says, not entirely sure why he wants to continue this talk, but then he guesses that the other must be really lonely, it’s so visible in those scared, almond-like eyes. There’s something absolutely heartbreaking in his gaze. And the circles under his eyes.
“Well… when you’re a librarian, it’s easier to read than not to read” comes a shy reply, and Taemin can feel the other blush; out of nervousness or embarrassment, he doesn’t know.
Then something clicks.
“Hey, wait! Aren’t you from the main library?” he asks, grabbing the elder’s arm. The guy is visibly not too used to so much touching, especially initiated by a stranger, but he doesn’t pull away.
“… yes. Why?” he asks, confusion filling his voice.
Taemin’s eyes spark.
“You must be Minho’s friend, then! He’s told me a lot about you!” he exclaims happily, glad to finally meet that mysterious friend of his lover. He could’ve suspected it from the start, given the way the other was engulfed in a book, just like Minho used to until a month ago.
He doesn’t know why the other’s eyes widen in shock and… fear? at the mention of Minho’s name.
He must be hallucinating, he’s already drank some beer after all.
“… Y-yes, I guess…” he stutters, his voice somehow shaky. Taemin doesn’t understand but doesn’t question the other either.
“I’m Taemin, nice to finally meet you” he extends his hand sending the other a heartwarming smile.
“Jinki… ah, so you must be the one that Minho lives with” Jinki says, shaking Taemin’s soft palm slightly. Taemin grins proudly.
“Yup, that’s me indeed, today we celebrate our fourth anniversary!” he chuckles happily and then freezes, seeing how the other’s expression immediately goes from kind to absolutely lost and confused.
He realizes that Minho maybe didn’t tell him that they’re together; it’s not like everyone’s that tolerant about such relationships. Has he just ed up an opportunity of making a new friend?
“Oh, gosh, I, sorry, I didn’t know he hadn’t told you… are you… I mean, are you okay with it? With, you know, two guys… being together?”
He bites his lips nervously, waiting anxiously for the answer, while the other seems too shocked to utter any word. He looks as if he is paralyzed.
 

“I… um, J-Jinki-hyung? Are you okay? I’m sorry if I—“ Taemin starts, his hand leaving Jinki’s arm, suddenly feeling really embarrassed with himself. He tries to formulate a proper apologize and then just leave the shocked guy alone, but he’s interrupted:
“Absolutely. I’m absolutely fine with… two guys being together” he says, his voice calm, somehow lacking any emotions. A few moments ago it was trembling, shaking, faltering, now it’s plain and a bit uptight.
Taemin doesn’t understand. But he’s thankful that the tension seemingly minimized.
He smiles.
Did this guy just wince…?
“Then, um… I don’t know why he hasn’t told you yet. I mean, maybe he didn’t know you’re… okay with that” he continues, a bit unsurely, watching the other’s face closely. It’s pale, still and emotionless, but when Taemin’s gaze focus on the almond-like eyes, he mentally gasps in surprise. Those aren’t eyes of someone absolutely fine with such an idea. Those are eyes of someone that is lost, that doesn’t want to take part in this situation, that wishes he was somewhere else.
But, apparently, Jinki is a good actor, because he doesn’t lose his temper.
“Maybe he didn’t” he finally nods, some strange tone appearing in his voice “he knows I’ve only had a woman. One woman. And, if I’m talking about this anyways she kind of used me for her own pleasure and then just went away, pretending our relationship never existed in the first place… So that’s probably why he didn’t tell me. Because I was too pathetic when we met. Yeah, that’s probably why” he goes on, a breathless chuckle leaving his lips. Taemin can swear Jinki’s eyes look a bit too shiny.
“I… I’m sorry to hear that. About your girlfriend, I mean” he says and he means it, having no idea at all how someone could hurt such a precious, fragile person. He places his hand on his arm again, now trying to soothe him, to comfort him somehow. He hears a soft sob escaping Jinki’s mouth.
When he looks at him though, he’s smiling. His smile is all kinds of heartbreaking, even though it’s impossibly wide, it’s just so fake and forced and almost theatrical it makes the younger boy wince.
“… it’s okay. It’s not like I love her anymore” he says, the corners of his lips trembling just slightly but yet visibly. Taemin thinks either he misheard or Jinki really stressed the ‘her’ word.
He doesn’t ask him why though.
“I… gosh, I hope you’ll find someone soon. I mean, you seem a really amazing person, Minho’s absolutely crazy about you and the books you recommended him” Taemin can’t miss the feeling of Jinki’s body tensing suddenly at his words “I just… you know, I don’t know what I would do without Minho. Having the one you love with you, always there for you, and being able to trust this person, this is… just indescribable. So, I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you, you’re worthy of every person in this world”.
Each Taemin’s word makes Jinki’s eyes go narrower and narrower until he barely squints. He wonders if it has something to do with the fact that his eyes looked as if they were full of tears some minute ago.
He sort of waits for an answer, an indication that he heard him, anything. They stay silent for a while that seems an eternity to Taemin, when finally, Jinki sniffs just once and lets his gaze fall upon Taemin.
“Thank you. And, congratulation on your anniversary” is all he says, and then, he takes his book and leaves, while Taemin’s hand still lingers in the air, where it’s been placed on a tensed arm a second ago.
He’s never been so confused in his life.













Luckily for Taemin, Minho’s never been too much into drinking, since he can’t hold his drinks well, which is why he doesn’t have to worry about them getting home safe in Minho’s car.
They left the bar around four am; they would have probably stayed even longer, but Taemin still has to work on his thesis and most of their friends have their own studies and work too. Minho didn’t object, he actually seemed eager to go home.
If ‘eager’ can be a synonym to ‘slowly nodding in agreement with his gaze set on nothing in particular’.
This lack of spirit, lack of enthusiasm is something that begins to really worry Taemin. It’s the longest time they have for each other in a… well, in a while- and the more time they spend together, the more anxious Taemin gets.
Something’s off. And it has something to do with that librarian friend of Minho’s.
Come to think of it, it seems like they’ve had some kind of an argument, with Jinki being so tense about everything and Minho suddenly going back to his old lifestyle.
That sort of saddens Taemin. His lover, even though he kind of drifted away from him a couple of months ago, was so animated and full of passion that it made one’s heart swell.
Ever since he met that Jinki.
And now, as they seem to have quarreled, he turns into a half-zombie, barely caring about anything.
Taemin doesn’t like that.
Not one bit.
“Baby?” he breaks the silence that’s been accompanying them since they entered the car.
Minho hums questioningly in response.
“Have you and your librarian friend argued or something?” he asks cagey, noticing how his lover’s jaw goes tense for a moment before relaxing again.
“… kind of. Why?” comes the reply and it’s the very same emotionless tone Jinki offered him when commenting on their relationship.

I don’t like it.

He takes a deep breath and then turns his head to Minho.
“I talked to him today. I, well, I met him, it was hard to miss him, actually… he seemed incredibly tense when I talked to him, starting with the moment I told him about our anniversary, which made me think you hadn’t told him about us being together and he kind of admi— why did we stop?” Taemin pauses, as the car stops abruptly. He’s thankful that the road is empty at this hour.
He doesn’t know why, but the atmosphere’s suddenly changed from casual to impossibly tense. Somehow, he’s afraid of lifting his gaze to meet with Minho’s eyes.
His fear only doubles when his lover finally speaks, his voice hoarse and so not him.
“What have you done” is what he mumbles, not even asking, but stating, as if Taemin talking to Jinki was the most tragic thing that could’ve ever happened. It’s just ridiculous, Taemin thinks, and he gains the courage to look up at his lover.
His eyes widen immediately at the sight. Minho’s profile is tense, so tense that he can feel his own muscles tense; his lips create a straight line, his eyes are motionless, empty, his hands are gripping the wheel so hard that Minho’s knuckles turn white.
“… Baby?” Taemin asks, not remembering to have ever felt so scared in his whole entire life.
His trembling hand slowly approaches Minho’s arm to finally land upon it- it’s like an electric shock for the older boy, he jolts and turns to Taemin, catching both of his wrists and leaning in, his face mere inches away from Taemin’s. The younger one yelps in surprise and fear.
For a moment, Minho’s expression is absolutely frightening and Taemin wants to die. His lover- his lover of four years- has never scared him, never, and yet within some five minutes he managed to make him unable to create a coherent thought.
And then, unexpectedly, Minho’s expression goes soft, as if he snapped out of some crazy trance. His grip on Taemin’s wrists falter and he allows a small, sad smile to curve his lips.
“You shouldn’t have told him. He’s still mourning after his girlfriend left him.”
Taemin feels, no, he knows it’s not the real issue here, but all he dares do is to nod obediently and look pointedly at the wheel, so that Minho gets a hint to keep on driving. The latter catches it and soon they’re on the road again, getting closer to their house, not exchanging any words meanwhile.
Taemin counts the seconds that pass along their ride and prays for it to end when Minho can’t seem to stop laughing somehow hysterically through the whole journey, shaking his head from time to time. This crazy laugh rings in Taemin’s ears for the rest of the night.

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